Gungnir
Don Juan
Like any quality board I believe there a fair number of lurkers and newbies out there who although finding a lot of good advice are struggling to apply themselves and their newfound knowledge.
Accordingly this post is for the struggling, shy (to really shy), newbie, AFC guys. Welcome kindred spirit! (…take that as a confession)
Before I get started I strongly suggest you read the following Hall of Fame items which are relevant to this topic:
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall145.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall67.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall3.htm
Just do what?
Wtf are we talking about here? Things like: Initiating flirting, consciously showing interest, making eye contact, and especially: approaching chicks, starting a convo, initiating kino, asking for the digits, asking for a date, neg-hitting (when required).
In this context I am talking about your initial and next few attempts for these are clearly the hardest.
BTW - I’m not talking about blindly doing stuff. Obviously you need to do a little preparation in advance, get the theory straight, and also have a goal or two in mind (ie. strike up conversations with at least 3 different chicks tonight).
So, why do you have to Just do it?
Because quite simply:
Why you currently can’t Just do it.
Basically it boils down to a couple of key things:
(A) Fear of rejection/failure.
The budding DJ’s greatest hurdle. Sure, things such as a self-improvement program are of great benefit, but it is this thought process which is the toughest of the obstacles you must strive to overcome.
I have no intention of steeling anyone’s thunder on this point (there are heaps of threads on this matter – use the Search facility), however the following thread is among the best I’ve read:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/012949.html
(B) Lack of self-trust.
Basically you don’t trust yourself or your skills. You feel incompetent, uncertain, somehow inadequate. In short, you have low self-confidence. Once again there are numerous threads, hall of fame, and DJ Bible items to help you out on this point.
You know what? Most achievers (whether they be Godlike DJs, celebrities, sporting greats, etc) from time to time have these same thoughts. The difference is they don’t let them interfere with their performance. They’re still there – they just push them to the back of their mind and get on with it by focusing on the process (not the “what if…”).
It is basically all about subordinating your feelings to your values.
For example: Scared shytless of approaching that cute (8.5) redhead near the bar who has blatantly been showing YOU plenty of interest for the last 10 minutes? Do you want to live your value of making the most of your opportunities and being a man? Or would you simply prefer to do nothing, deal with the loss of self-respect (self-esteem), go home choke charlie, and wonder what may (yes may) have been? Oh, and “hope” you can do better next time?
If you can master your emotions (ie. overcome your fears and inhibitions), get your thinking right (which includes having the right attitude) then you’re basically assured of getting the required experience to develop and refine your skills which up until now have been just theory.
Is “just doing it” a guarantee of success?
In the short term - NO WAY. You might screw up. She may have a b/f or she simply might be a nutcase who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of her. However, it’s better to have tried (and gained experience) than never have tried at all. Never forget this – it’s the absolute truth.
In the long term – ABSOLUTELY. The cumulative effects of continual practice and experience will lead to greater knowledge, self-understanding, and improved performance. Also, if you’re smart enough to read the threads on this site, then you’re definitely smart enough to learn from your experiences. The more you learn and then apply that knowledge, the greater will be your improvement.
How do you get yourself to Just do it?
It’s all mental fellas so please consider the following:
[*]Ever had a burning desire to play ice hockey? Well how the heck do you expect to be able to be successful if you’re not willing to learn how to ice skate? Or practice. Or prepare before a game. Or learn from your mistakes. Or experience performing when the pressure is really on? If you did none of these things not only would you be a really unsuccessful crap player, but more importantly you simply wouldn’t enjoy yourself. Djing is no different. You gotta learn, strive, and get experience. How? Study up (RTFB), observe others, and then simply – JUST DO IT!
[*]You’ve also got to be brutally honest with yourself. If for example you get home after a night out and realize that although you had a good time…….you basically did nothing, tried nothing, and as a result learnt and experienced nothing THEN YOU MUST BE BL00DY HARD ON YOURSELF. Why? Because quite simply you need to make the pain/discomfort of not trying greater than the hypothetical pain of potential failure/discomfort/embarassment that you choose to associate with trying (practicing) and not succeeding. So….
[*]Bite the friggin bullet! Take a chance. You have nothing I repeat Nothing to lose…and a lot to gain (experience, potential success, and possibly even the realization that “Shyt not only was that fun but it wasn’t quite as hard as I thought it’d be!”).
[*]You have to be fully prepared to initially look bad (ie. get rejected or screw up) before you’re likely to start getting somewhere. This doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed of many initial failures – it does however mean that you’re not phased if you do……because unlike a typical AFC you are on a Learning Curve and you are making progress!
[*]When you don’t “feel” like doing it take this as signal to GO DO IT. Get out of your pathetic AFC comfort zone and give it a go. You’re an aspiring DJ who wants to improve but you’ll never achieve anything or learn anything by allowing your (basically irrational) fears and inhibitions to dictate your non-actions.
[*]The next time you find that your ever sharpening DJ instincts have kicked in and you recognize the great opportunity that presents itself Take Action. Or are you gunna let yet another opportunity like this go by?? If you do I hope you die still wondering…… you AFC wimp.
[*]Never forget that regardless of the result if you are prepared to play the DJ game (to the best of your current ability) then you’re a winner…...not an AFC.
[*]Experience is our greatest teacher. Whilst knowledge is great, it’s the actual getting your hands dirty which will have the biggest impact on you.
[*]That which doesn’t kill you WILL make you stronger. Unless you’ve got a serious heart condition you’ll be fine!!!
[/list]
Just doing it is certainly far from impossible if you’re prepared to:
Still lacking sufficient motivation? Yesterday I read the following quote from “Embracing your Potential” by Terry Orlick and it really struck a chord:
“There are limits to the time you have to live
but no limits on how you live your time.
Everyday you are free to choose between
things that lift you or drag you down.
Embrace experiences that can enrich you life.
Absorb yourself in each opportunity.
Find positives in very pursuit.
Do it now rather than waiting, wishing you had,
once your game is over or your life is nearing the end.
Now is the time to live each day.
Now is the time to embrace your potential."
In closing guys I’d just like to point out that the power to just do it is, and will always be within you. You have but it embrace it and then harness it.
Gungnir
[This message has been edited by Gungnir (edited 04-13-2002).]
Accordingly this post is for the struggling, shy (to really shy), newbie, AFC guys. Welcome kindred spirit! (…take that as a confession)
Before I get started I strongly suggest you read the following Hall of Fame items which are relevant to this topic:
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall145.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall67.htm
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall3.htm
Just do what?
Wtf are we talking about here? Things like: Initiating flirting, consciously showing interest, making eye contact, and especially: approaching chicks, starting a convo, initiating kino, asking for the digits, asking for a date, neg-hitting (when required).
In this context I am talking about your initial and next few attempts for these are clearly the hardest.
BTW - I’m not talking about blindly doing stuff. Obviously you need to do a little preparation in advance, get the theory straight, and also have a goal or two in mind (ie. strike up conversations with at least 3 different chicks tonight).
So, why do you have to Just do it?
Because quite simply:
- Doing more of what doesn’t work (this being in most cases NOTHING)…….doesn’t friggin work!!
- Nothing is going to happen unless you do the work. This means trying.
- If you wait to feel confident/ready then I can assure you you’ll be waiting forever! The “When I feel confident…then I’ll…” line is BS and will get you absolutely nowhere. At some point you’ll have to go out on a limb and try. The clock is ticking. Perhaps sooner rather never would be a good time?
- Practice makes perfect (unless you’re a born natural – and let’s face it….. you’re not).
- A new journey always begins with the first step. I you can’t take that first step then you’re nothing but a daydreamer!
Why you currently can’t Just do it.
Basically it boils down to a couple of key things:
(A) Fear of rejection/failure.
The budding DJ’s greatest hurdle. Sure, things such as a self-improvement program are of great benefit, but it is this thought process which is the toughest of the obstacles you must strive to overcome.
I have no intention of steeling anyone’s thunder on this point (there are heaps of threads on this matter – use the Search facility), however the following thread is among the best I’ve read:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/012949.html
(B) Lack of self-trust.
Basically you don’t trust yourself or your skills. You feel incompetent, uncertain, somehow inadequate. In short, you have low self-confidence. Once again there are numerous threads, hall of fame, and DJ Bible items to help you out on this point.
You know what? Most achievers (whether they be Godlike DJs, celebrities, sporting greats, etc) from time to time have these same thoughts. The difference is they don’t let them interfere with their performance. They’re still there – they just push them to the back of their mind and get on with it by focusing on the process (not the “what if…”).
It is basically all about subordinating your feelings to your values.
For example: Scared shytless of approaching that cute (8.5) redhead near the bar who has blatantly been showing YOU plenty of interest for the last 10 minutes? Do you want to live your value of making the most of your opportunities and being a man? Or would you simply prefer to do nothing, deal with the loss of self-respect (self-esteem), go home choke charlie, and wonder what may (yes may) have been? Oh, and “hope” you can do better next time?
If you can master your emotions (ie. overcome your fears and inhibitions), get your thinking right (which includes having the right attitude) then you’re basically assured of getting the required experience to develop and refine your skills which up until now have been just theory.
Is “just doing it” a guarantee of success?
In the short term - NO WAY. You might screw up. She may have a b/f or she simply might be a nutcase who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of her. However, it’s better to have tried (and gained experience) than never have tried at all. Never forget this – it’s the absolute truth.
In the long term – ABSOLUTELY. The cumulative effects of continual practice and experience will lead to greater knowledge, self-understanding, and improved performance. Also, if you’re smart enough to read the threads on this site, then you’re definitely smart enough to learn from your experiences. The more you learn and then apply that knowledge, the greater will be your improvement.
How do you get yourself to Just do it?
It’s all mental fellas so please consider the following:
[*]Ever had a burning desire to play ice hockey? Well how the heck do you expect to be able to be successful if you’re not willing to learn how to ice skate? Or practice. Or prepare before a game. Or learn from your mistakes. Or experience performing when the pressure is really on? If you did none of these things not only would you be a really unsuccessful crap player, but more importantly you simply wouldn’t enjoy yourself. Djing is no different. You gotta learn, strive, and get experience. How? Study up (RTFB), observe others, and then simply – JUST DO IT!
[*]You’ve also got to be brutally honest with yourself. If for example you get home after a night out and realize that although you had a good time…….you basically did nothing, tried nothing, and as a result learnt and experienced nothing THEN YOU MUST BE BL00DY HARD ON YOURSELF. Why? Because quite simply you need to make the pain/discomfort of not trying greater than the hypothetical pain of potential failure/discomfort/embarassment that you choose to associate with trying (practicing) and not succeeding. So….
[*]Bite the friggin bullet! Take a chance. You have nothing I repeat Nothing to lose…and a lot to gain (experience, potential success, and possibly even the realization that “Shyt not only was that fun but it wasn’t quite as hard as I thought it’d be!”).
[*]You have to be fully prepared to initially look bad (ie. get rejected or screw up) before you’re likely to start getting somewhere. This doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed of many initial failures – it does however mean that you’re not phased if you do……because unlike a typical AFC you are on a Learning Curve and you are making progress!
[*]When you don’t “feel” like doing it take this as signal to GO DO IT. Get out of your pathetic AFC comfort zone and give it a go. You’re an aspiring DJ who wants to improve but you’ll never achieve anything or learn anything by allowing your (basically irrational) fears and inhibitions to dictate your non-actions.
[*]The next time you find that your ever sharpening DJ instincts have kicked in and you recognize the great opportunity that presents itself Take Action. Or are you gunna let yet another opportunity like this go by?? If you do I hope you die still wondering…… you AFC wimp.
[*]Never forget that regardless of the result if you are prepared to play the DJ game (to the best of your current ability) then you’re a winner…...not an AFC.
[*]Experience is our greatest teacher. Whilst knowledge is great, it’s the actual getting your hands dirty which will have the biggest impact on you.
[*]That which doesn’t kill you WILL make you stronger. Unless you’ve got a serious heart condition you’ll be fine!!!
[/list]
Just doing it is certainly far from impossible if you’re prepared to:
- Work on your attitudes.
- Strive to master your emotions.
- Accept (possible) rejection as part of the learning/gaining experience process.
- Appreciate the need to take action by applying your knowledge and in the process gaining experience.
Still lacking sufficient motivation? Yesterday I read the following quote from “Embracing your Potential” by Terry Orlick and it really struck a chord:
“There are limits to the time you have to live
but no limits on how you live your time.
Everyday you are free to choose between
things that lift you or drag you down.
Embrace experiences that can enrich you life.
Absorb yourself in each opportunity.
Find positives in very pursuit.
Do it now rather than waiting, wishing you had,
once your game is over or your life is nearing the end.
Now is the time to live each day.
Now is the time to embrace your potential."
In closing guys I’d just like to point out that the power to just do it is, and will always be within you. You have but it embrace it and then harness it.
Gungnir
[This message has been edited by Gungnir (edited 04-13-2002).]
