Why this stuff can actually make you WORSE with women.

[jax871]

This is a major pitfall that I recently found myself in and just thought id make a brief post about it incase any of you guys are having the same issue.

What i found is the more i read about 'DJ' or 'PUA' tricks and tips the worse i actually became with women. Without me even realising it i had turned talking to a girl and taking her out on a date in to a complicated sum of procedures and methods, which was starting to make me seem mechanical and unnatural and ultimately left me depressed.

I thought that some guys 'had it' and some guys didn't. Don't get me wrong, obviously some men are more talented with the fairer sex then others but since then i have learnt that picking up a woman is much less difficult then the pick up industry, and society in general wants you to believe.

Something didnt vibe right with me when I turned meeting a chick in to a problem to be solved instead of a process to be lived.

I recently re-read Anti Dumps machine series of posts by Pook and genuinely believe that for someone that is average to good looking and normally socially adjusted, this is all the pick up advice you ever need to read.

I think for most people it is a matter of trying to read more information and methods in order to avoid doing their job as a man, which is appraoching the girls, asking for her number, and to go on a date.

This mindset makes it alot more simple. You just focus on enjoying and improving your life, while regularly giving a few lucky women the oppurtunity to be part of that life.

Cool life = Hotter / More desirable women that want to be a part of it.
Sh!t life = Only pigs desperate enough to be a part of it.

What i found when i took on this mindset is that i was alot more relaxed in life in general. I could give up trying to impress women and just focus on my own life while grabbing my balls and approaching some women. I was amazed at how many women reacted to me warmly and wanted to go out with me without using 'routines' and 'kino'.

I figure if your in great shape, you have fun hobbies, good friends, good career prospects, and you are genuinely happy with yourself and your life, it wil work out for your benefit. What single girl that was looking for someone wouldnt want to at least go out on a date with that sort of guy? And these are all ones that are in your control.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Edward Luvingston]

Co-Sign. Being overly conscious about this whole meeting women guide thing can actually be detrimental to that end. One should take holistic approach to improving their life and not basing their success on one factor such as how many women they're sleeping with/dating.

Had to bring this thread back to life because it's a good one.

 

[thedude4242]

sometimes it really contradicts itself big time.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Yeah I agree with you man.. Especially all of the talk on this site that attempts to say "EVERY SECOND YOUR DATE IS NOT WITH YOU SHE IS BANGING 5 OTHER GUYS" leads to a lot of unnecessary anxious thinking.

The only tip any man needs on this board is to be a confident male, everything will fall in to place from there.

 

[Re-ac-tor]

"I recently re-read Anti Dumps machine series of posts by Pook and genuinely believe that for someone that is average to good looking and normally socially adjusted, this is all the pick up advice you ever need to read."

Yup.

 

[Gambit]

you are right man. And another point is:

if you are avrage-good looking guy who has his **** together but the ratio of women to men is not in your favior. Instead of learning so much pick up stuff - just relocate to a better environment. I posted this artical:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185685

I'll use myself as an example:

I live in a small town- more men than women. Women know it so they play hard.

My friend on the other hand, who is decent looking and has similar attributes
to me is having a ball with women (much more easily than me).
Why?
because he lives in a big city where the ratio is more women than men.

Instead of studying ton of PUA stuff and wasting time, energy and money.

I put most of my energy in my studies and when I finish: I will relocate to a big city :trouble:

 

[Jariel]

I agree.

I think some things we need to learn, such as never chasing a girl or appearing desperate, never buying her affections, never acting weak or letting anyone walk over you. But these really aren't tricks or methods, they're basic rules for being a man.

But all this PUA gimmickry and bad boy pretences will just make you appear pathetic and desperate.

When I first started using this site many years ago, you had the usual PUA crap, you also had the negative/defeatist stuff (that seems to take upto 90% of the forum today), but there was also a much bigger focus on self improvement, becoming the man you wanted to be and the kind of man the chicks adore. It was about building confidence and magnetism the natural way, through experience.

That was the route I followed and over the years I went from a skinny, self-doubting "nice guy" to a bold, buff, confident, charismatic and sexual womanizer, banging women from 18 to mid 40s, lawyers, dancers, models, and even corrupting a few sweet and shy chicks.

Unlike most PUAs I don't have to convince or coerce any of these girls to be with me. They want to be with me because I turn them on, I stir their emotions and fulfill their fantasies.

All those PUA short cuts and gimmicks really fvck with your head. You end up worrying way too much about what to say, what not to say, how to say it and you're constantly putting on a performance and never able to relax. But when you're a man of value, you don't even have to try.

Sadly, I see this aspect of the forum is taking a backseat to a lot of lazy, bitter and frustrated guys, who are just trying to drag everyone else down with them.

 

[Jariel]

Something didnt vibe right with me when I turned meeting a chick in to a problem to be solved instead of a process to be lived.

This sentence speaks volumes!!

Once you learn to enjoy the company of women and appreciate experiences for what they are, instead of where they should lead, things really start looking up!

 

[EvilAgenda]

Oh yes, it's like playing games. Playing games is a woman's tactic and strategy, not a man's.

 

[neghitzbrah]

The sad thing is, when I start talking to a woman that I find physically attractive they attractiveness is entirely skin deep. They're boring, don't have a lot of hobbies and interests, and are really insecure. The cute 6-8s tend to be more dynamic and interesting to me.

A few things I need to comment about this statement.

1) This scale that you use is great for your own interpretation. Therefore, the 6-8s on your scale might be 9-10s or even 1-2s on mine.

2) You can't make the generalization that all girls of a certain beauty (in your eyes) are insecure. I'm sure you ran into chicks who you think are hot and have their shvt together.

What I'm trying to say is don't sell yourself short and go for 6-8s because you believe the 8.000001-10s are insecure.

Onto the actual thread before I start hijacking:

This is what it's actually about. I remember starting to read into this **** and being all ****y and funny, leaving after 5-10 minutes of talking, waiting 3 days... all that bullshvt didn't get me anywhere. I did make improvements on my confidence. All in all, the only changes I made in my game directed toward being myself.

Now I finally realized that whenever I speak my mind, whether it be an intelligent statement to sexual insinuation, it mostly works out for me. In fact... everytime I say something that has the incentive of increasing attraction (a.k.a. putting her on a pedestal) it backfires!!! So in a sense, I kinda screwed myself reading into most of this shvt. I have to say though that in the long run it has helped me with my confidence, so not all hope is lost. Plus google found me a bunch of people going through the same shvt im going through.

When you really think about it... this forum, tips, guides, none of it is made by a glorified man or god. We are all people who go through shvt everyday and live life through out experiences. And neither is any HB, UG, or chick you approach everyday. She is a human being, not some ****ing game that needs to be executed in a robot manner. Live life and enjoy it.

 

[MrRhythmic]

Different amounts of most self-improvement/educational material will apply to different people.

The most useful points I've found:

1. The basic principle that if she thinks she can't have you, she is more likely to want you.
2. The 5-second rule (or whatever it's called) - if you're in a club, make your approach as soon as you notice her, rather than standing around aware of each other for a few minutes first.
3. Nexting. There are soooo many more women out there.

Most things you learn on here you'll have to adapt anyway, depending on your surroundings and the woman.