Why some men are forever doomed in dating and life

[CornbreadFed]

Men have failed to adapt to the modern dating scene, and the struggling men either A) stick their heads in the sand and lament about the pre-women's rights dating era, or B) continue to embrace fast-get-rich-quick, feel-good coping advice. While this site can be cringy, one of the cringiest things I ever witnessed on this board was a detailed, disingenuous, non-dating-related attack post created on a Friday night! What's more embarrassing is that this post received 6 plus likes. Do you really think a guy with this much free time on a Friday night is getting laid? Oh, sure, I have a high post count too, but I am not creating hate posts on weekend nights!

Back to the main point: Traditional Masculine Men Provide & Protect, plain and simple, and your struggling man cannot provide that. Struggling men are either broke, weak, or delusional, essentially lazy frauds trying to take the easy way out. How many muscular doctors do you see struggling to find a woman? Go ahead, craft your whataboutism rebuttal for that too. There are plenty of low-quality women out in the dating world.... BUT GUESS WHAT?? You do not have to date these women! Again, it goes back to laziness and pride. Guys do not want to put in the work to actually be Traditional Masculine Men. Instead, they want to be like Dan Bilzerian or Andrew Tate, who are frauds.

Go ahead, take the easy way out, but nature is going to collect its payment, and the longer it goes, the more interest that accrues. At the end of the day, you are going to have to put in the hard work to improve and maintain anything in life. You are going to have to work on your body, money, and mindset. If your half-ass them, then don't be surprised by the consequences that you'll receive. Go ahead and call me a blue pill troll or whatever, but I am doing fine. Women love me and reward me with their femininity because true masculine men are such a scarcity in today's world. Go ahead, continue to take the feel-good cope and constantly cry about women, feminism, hustling for some bitcoin, and etc.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Last week my hapacel friend basically threw in the towel. I have no doubt that he could get a looksmatched Asian woman if he did some self-improvement. But he’d rather laze about and play games.

 

[BeExcellent]

Well I'm married and we are not out doing the singles thing. So if he wants to relax and video game a bit or if I can't sleep, I'll play chess or cruise through here.

I do agree about the self improvement thing. Some people are inherently lazy or don't care enough to make the effort.

Well. More for those who do (Shrugs).

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You live in Nashville OP. If you had the money, would you buy the Titans any pay top dollar for coaches, max out the salary cap, etc if it was common knowledge interest in the sport was declining? It would be foolish to not at least think it through.

You can't get far in "life" without effort, and you also can't get far without employing basic logic.

inb4 "flawed analogy" cope by OP.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You live in Nashville OP. If you had the money, would you buy the Titans any pay top dollar for coaches, max out the salary cap, etc if it was common knowledge interest in the sport was declining? It would be foolish to not at least think it through.

I hate the Titans lol

 

[BadBoy89]

It’s not so much men are afraid to put in the work, it’s more “what’s at the end of the work?”

Before men could put in the work and marry young virgins in their early 20s. Now, men put in the work to get a 30 something woman who has slept with all the Alpha men in her 20s, and now needs a man with resources. She becomes sexually reserved until she gets a legally binding commitment from the man, with the option to take half his money in case she wants out of that commitment.

Not saying men shouldn’t put in the work or get married.

 

[SW15]

Men have failed to adapt to the modern dating scene, and the struggling men either A) stick their heads in the sand and lament about the pre-women's rights dating era, or B) continue to embrace fast-get-rich-quick, feel-good coping advice.

It's a valid critique to say that men have failed to adapt well to the Post Sexual Revolution era dating scene. The Sexual Revolution is considered to have occurred in the 1960s-1970s in Western nations. Right now, in 2024, game has changed even from some post Sexual Revolution times. A man in the mating environment of the 2010s-2020s has had to adapt as compared to post-Sexual Revolution game of the 1980s/early 1990s.

I fully entered the mating environment in 1999 when I first asked a woman out on a date as a 16 year old. I've noticed changes in the mating environment since my early days in it from 1999-2005. In 1999-2005, I was mainly gaming on school campuses (high school and college). In 2004, I turned 21 and went to bars for the first time. In 2004-2005, I was mainly going to college bars but did go to some bars that didn't necessarily cater to the college crowd.

If a guy had been in the same relationship since 2005-2010 and found himself newly single again in 2023-2024, he would notice differences in early stage seduction as compared to 2005-2010, a period well after the end of the Sexual Revolution.

While many elements of seduction change over time, there are some consistent fundamentals.

Traditional Masculine Men Provide & Protect, plain and simple, and your struggling man cannot provide that. Struggling men are either broke, weak, or delusional, essentially lazy frauds trying to take the easy way out. How many muscular doctors do you see struggling to find a woman?

Provide & Protect is a consistent fundamental.

Being tall, muscular, and rich is a good combination.

There are some men with good combinations that are struggling in the mating environment. There's even been chatter about the rise of gymcels. These are more physically fit than average incels or borderline incels. I have mixed feelings about the gymcel phenomenon. I have thought that the height + muscles combo was one that was good enough. Is it though? There are men who are 6'0"+ who are fit with big muscles who aren't having the levels of success that one might think. Being 6'0"+ and fit/muscular is 'Chad' territory.

take the easy way out, but nature is going to collect its payment, and the longer it goes, the more interest that accrues. At the end of the day, you are going to have to put in the hard work to improve and maintain anything in life. You are going to have to work on your body, money, and mindset. If your half-ass them, then don't be surprised by the consequences that you'll receive.

It takes more now to succeed than it did 20-30 years ago.

It’s not so much men are afraid to put in the work, it’s more “what’s at the end of the work?”

Before men could put in the work and marry young virgins in their early 20s. Now, men put in the work to get a 30 something woman who has slept with all the Alpha men in her 20s, and now needs a man with resources. She becomes sexually reserved until she gets a legally binding commitment from the man, with the option to take half his money in case she wants out of that commitment.

I agree that the endgame calculation has changed. This is more relevant for men looking for longer term relationships though. Men only interested in shorter term relationships don't need to consider this as much.

 

[NealIRC]

I don't think men not being able to date is the issue, it's men not being able to attract women is the issue.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

One quick point I'll make is your assumption about Friday Nights, and Weekend Nights. You are making the assumption that everyone works Monday to Friday 9 to 5. For example, I work shift work: 2 days, 2 nights and 4 days off. So, if I'm working on a weekend, I'll post on this forum if my work is quiet.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

One quick point I'll make is your assumption about Friday Nights, and Weekend Nights. You are making the assumption that everyone works Monday to Friday 9 to 5. For example, I work shift work: 2 days, 2 nights and 4 days off. So, if I'm working on a weekend, I'll post on this forum if my work is quiet.

Not only that, but weekday nights can often be more productive for approaches. Fewer drunk idiots around, more one-on-one possibilities. I have always preferred Thursdays. Weekends are more for me to chill alone or hang with for friends/family/SO.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Men have failed to adapt to the modern dating scene, and the struggling men either A) stick their heads in the sand and lament about the pre-women's rights dating era, or B) continue to embrace fast-get-rich-quick, feel-good coping advice. While this site can be cringy, one of the cringiest things I ever witnessed on this board was a detailed, disingenuous, non-dating-related attack post created on a Friday night! What's more embarrassing is that this post received 6 plus likes. Do you really think a guy with this much free time on a Friday night is getting laid? Oh, sure, I have a high post count too, but I am not creating hate posts on weekend nights!

Back to the main point: Traditional Masculine Men Provide & Protect, plain and simple, and your struggling man cannot provide that. Struggling men are either broke, weak, or delusional, essentially lazy frauds trying to take the easy way out. How many muscular doctors do you see struggling to find a woman? Go ahead, craft your whataboutism rebuttal for that too. There are plenty of low-quality women out in the dating world.... BUT GUESS WHAT?? You do not have to date these women! Again, it goes back to laziness and pride. Guys do not want to put in the work to actually be Traditional Masculine Men. Instead, they want to be like Dan Bilzerian or Andrew Tate, who are frauds.

Go ahead, take the easy way out, but nature is going to collect its payment, and the longer it goes, the more interest that accrues. At the end of the day, you are going to have to put in the hard work to improve and maintain anything in life. You are going to have to work on your body, money, and mindset. If your half-ass them, then don't be surprised by the consequences that you'll receive. Go ahead and call me a blue pill troll or whatever, but I am doing fine. Women love me and reward me with their femininity because true masculine men are such a scarcity in today's world. Go ahead, continue to take the feel-good cope and constantly cry about women, feminism, hustling for some bitcoin, and etc.

I get your take but the whole “man must eternally improve” is an outgrowth of feminism and the respective deterioration of monogamous marriage.

There will always be an average, and thereby average men, most of whom would be married in a normal social order. Your whole post is a reflection of absolute female ownership of the sexual market, which, as we see, is leading to societal ruin.

“Improving” for the whims of women, which changes like the weather, is an expression of the deification of so-called “modern women” (fake term as there are no “modern women”).

But yes, if a man wants a woman he will have to do at least some things to have a shot.

 

[SW15]

your assumption about Friday Nights, and Weekend Nights.

More people work Monday-Friday type schedules. Friday and Saturday night are considered the most valuable times for socialization.

Back in the 2000s with online dating websites, it used to be commonly advised not to send new messages to women between Friday afternoon and late Sunday night. That tactic was used to demonstrate higher value to a woman. You were so busy on weekends with your friends and approaching women in real life that you didn't have time to sit at your desktop or laptop computer and send/reply to messages.

Something like that is now considered outdated advice, as dating apps have replaced dating websites.

I think it's still commonly advised not to schedule a first date from either a swipe app or a real life approach of a stranger on a Friday or Saturday night. The reason why a man would do this would be to show a woman that he's a man that's in demand and he won't give a valuable time slot to an unproven woman.

I think the rule of not scheduling first dates on Friday and Saturday is a good one. 30+ men going on first dates with 30+ women might be able to consider this rule more optional. A lot of 30+ unattached women have Friday and Saturday nights open because most of their friends are married women or women in long term committed relationships. Those women are not generally available to socialize with an unattached 30+ woman. Additionally, many unattached 30+ men have male friends who are married or in committed LTRs who also won't be available to socialize.

weekday nights can often be more productive for approaches. Fewer drunk idiots around, more one-on-one possibilities. I have always preferred Thursdays. Weekends are more for me to chill alone or hang with for friends/family/SO.

Friday and Saturday nights bring out the biggest crowds at any nightlife venue. John Q. Paycheck beta males are well known for going out on those nights and stinking up venues with bad game. These approaches annoy women. This has been less of an issue in the last 10 years or so as a lot of those beta males have become swipe app monkeys. Even now, there are still enough betas/AFCs who go out to nightlife venues on the prime nights.

Weeknight crowds at nightlife venues are usually smaller. In metro areas with a bigger population (think 500,000+), there are always venues that seems to bring in big crowds on any specific weeknight. For instance, one venue might run a special on a Wednesday night and become a place that does big crowds on Wednesday nights.

A woman who is in a bar at 10 PM on a Tuesday night is more serious about meeting men than one in a bar at 10 PM

 

[CornbreadFed]

One quick point I'll make is your assumption about Friday Nights, and Weekend Nights. You are making the assumption that everyone works Monday to Friday 9 to 5. For example, I work shift work: 2 days, 2 nights and 4 days off. So, if I'm working on a weekend, I'll post on this forum if my work is quiet.

Not only that, but weekday nights can often be more productive for approaches. Fewer drunk idiots around, more one-on-one possibilities. I have always preferred Thursdays. Weekends are more for me to chill alone or hang with for friends/family/SO.

People working on Friday Nights do not have time to make a detailed topic that cross references several other topics in addition. Sorry, but I cannot agree with these points. Even if I want to take a Friday night off from everything not just dating, the last thing I want to do is make a long rant attack topic on a message board forum. What does that say about the individual? It doesn't show any positivity from my point of view, but it is just an opinion at the end of the day.

I think it's still commonly advised not to schedule a first date from either a swipe app or a real life approach of a stranger on a Friday or Saturday night. The reason why a man would do this would be to show a woman that he's a man that's in demand and he won't give a valuable time slot to an unproven woman.

In college I followed this rule, but I think this rule applies less after the age of 27sh when social circle gathering are not as routine and cohesive.

 

[SW15]

I think it's still commonly advised not to schedule a first date from either a swipe app or a real life approach of a stranger on a Friday or Saturday night. The reason why a man would do this would be to show a woman that he's a man that's in demand and he won't give a valuable time slot to an unproven woman.

I think the rule of not scheduling first dates on Friday and Saturday is a good one. 30+ men going on first dates with 30+ women might be able to consider this rule more optional. A lot of 30+ unattached women have Friday and Saturday nights open because most of their friends are married women or women in long term committed relationships. Those women are not generally available to socialize with an unattached 30+ woman. Additionally, many unattached 30+ men have male friends who are married or in committed LTRs who also won't be available to socialize.

In college I followed this rule, but I think this rule applies less after the age of 27sh when social circle gathering are not as routine and cohesive.

It's good that you followed that rule while in college.

We have the same general idea. For me, I won't offer a woman under 30 a Friday or Saturday night first date. I do think the age range where that rule becomes more flexible is 27-32.

In my early 30s, most of my friends were in LTRs and I started to notice that I had more Friday and Saturday nights available.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It's good that you followed that rule while in college.

We have the same general idea. For me, I won't offer a woman under 30 a Friday or Saturday night first date. I do think the age range where that rule becomes more flexible is 27-32.

In my early 30s, most of my friends were in LTRs and I started to notice that I had more Friday and Saturday nights available.

I am also not going to jeopardize my job and let some stranger women control my free time. I have to wake up early and be productive throughout the day during the week days and one sloppy first date at a bar can ruin the next day for me. If I feel like going out on a Friday or Saturday night, I am going to do that. If that is such a deal breaker for her then she is going to be a pain in the ass in other ways too. If Leonardo Dicaprio asked her out on a Friday night, do you really think she is going to judge him for it?

 

[DarwinTaurus]

People working on Friday Nights do not have time to make a detailed topic that cross references several other topics in addition. Sorry, but I cannot agree with these points. Even if I want to take a Friday night off from everything not just dating, the last thing I want to do is make a long rant attack topic on a message board forum. What does that say about the individual? It doesn't show any positivity from my point of view, but it is just an opinion at the end of the day.

Haha... when I'm working 12 hour night shifts (I work in I.T., specifically Mainframe Computing), most of the shift I spend watching movies, and surfing the internet. It's a reactive job. I call it the Firefighting of I.T.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Haha... when I'm working 12 hour night shifts (I work in I.T., specifically Mainframe Computing), most of the shift I spend watching movies, and surfing the internet. It's a reactive job. I call it the Firefighting of I.T.

Exceptions exist lol. There are lottery winners.

 

[SW15]

I am also not going to jeopardize my job and let some stranger women control my free time. I have to wake up early and be productive throughout the day during the week days and one sloppy first date at a bar can ruin the next day for me. If I feel like going out on a Friday or Saturday night, I am going to do that. If that is such a deal breaker for her then she is going to be a pain in the ass in other ways too. If Leonardo Dicaprio asked her out on a Friday night, do you really think she is going to judge him for it?

Those weeknight first dates can be tough for working people (either blue collar or white collar). In all of the jobs I've had since college graduation in 2005, I've had to be alert earlier in the mornings to do those jobs and do those jobs well.

Over the years, I've experimented with the start times of weeknight first dates arranged from either a dating website/app or from approaching a stranger in real life. 7 PM start times are best for getting to sleep earlier but run the risk of a woman asking for a dinner. 7:30 PM or 8 PM start times will eliminate the dinner problem but could last late enough to interfere with productivity the next day at work.

I've never liked the idea of the workplace productivity hanging over my early stage dates.

Most 30+ women wouldn't object to the offer of a Friday/Saturday night 1st or 2nd date.

Women 18-29 often will refuse that offer.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Friday and Saturday nights bring out the biggest crowds at any nightlife venue. John Q. Paycheck beta males are well known for going out on those nights and stinking up venues with bad game. These approaches annoy women. This has been less of an issue in the last 10 years or so as a lot of those beta males have become swipe app monkeys. Even now, there are still enough betas/AFCs who go out to nightlife venues on the prime nights.

Weeknight crowds at nightlife venues are usually smaller. In metro areas with a bigger population (think 500,000+), there are always venues that seems to bring in big crowds on any specific weeknight. For instance, one venue might run a special on a Wednesday night and become a place that does big crowds on Wednesday nights.

A woman who is in a bar at 10 PM on a Tuesday night is more serious about meeting men than one in a bar at 10 PM

Well said. That was what I was getting at. Plus most Fridays I was dog tired and wanted to just go home and chill.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It's a valid critique to say that men have failed to adapt well to the Post Sexual Revolution era dating scene. The Sexual Revolution is considered to have occurred in the 1960s-1970s in Western nations. Right now, in 2024, game has changed even from some post Sexual Revolution times. A man in the mating environment of the 2010s-2020s has had to adapt as compared to post-Sexual Revolution game of the 1980s/early 1990s.

I fully entered the mating environment in 1999 when I first asked a woman out on a date as a 16 year old. I've noticed changes in the mating environment since my early days in it from 1999-2005. In 1999-2005, I was mainly gaming on school campuses (high school and college). In 2004, I turned 21 and went to bars for the first time. In 2004-2005, I was mainly going to college bars but did go to some bars that didn't necessarily cater to the college crowd.

If a guy had been in the same relationship since 2005-2010 and found himself newly single again in 2023-2024, he would notice differences in early stage seduction as compared to 2005-2010, a period well after the end of the Sexual Revolution.

While many elements of seduction change over time, there are some consistent fundamentals.



Provide & Protect is a consistent fundamental.

Being tall, muscular, and rich is a good combination.

There are some men with good combinations that are struggling in the mating environment. There's even been chatter about the rise of gymcels. These are more physically fit than average incels or borderline incels. I have mixed feelings about the gymcel phenomenon. I have thought that the height + muscles combo was one that was good enough. Is it though? There are men who are 6'0"+ who are fit with big muscles who aren't having the levels of success that one might think. Being 6'0"+ and fit/muscular is 'Chad' territory.

No it’s not ‘Chad’ territory. Still need a good face.

But as to good body. I think some underestimate it. Just this week I was talking to a new employee. Zoomer girl, cute. The conversation turned to fitness. I like to see how comfortable a girl is with me by gaging her reaction to me squeezing her biceps (assuming she say’s she works out).
I told her I used to be a gymrat and worked out all the time (I’m in good shape now, but not jacked). She got all excited and asked to see pictures of me when buff. Sadly, I have none.