Why social circle game is a poor alternative to cold approach.

[Bokanovsky]

A lot of times, they see the value in having a guy who can invite hot girls out to the boat party. It does involve a guy who once again, has a lot of hot girls he can DM and invite.

The guy you’re describing sounds like he might be…a drug dealer. But really, your point kind of reinforces mine.

In every social circle there are people who play different roles and have different status. Some guy might provide a yahcht or a VIP table at a club or a high end condo where people can party. He provides value to the social circle. Some other guy might know a lot girls that he can invite to parties. He also provides value (and benefits from being part of the social circle because girls like being invited to good parties). Yet another guy may be extremely charismatic and entertaining and people just like hanging out with him. That gives him status.

And then there are guys who don’t know a lot of girls, don’t provide any material value and aren’t all that fun to be around. They are low status and occupy the periphery of a the social circle. Those guys will not get women from that circle. No one is going to help them get laid. For the low value guys, being part of a social circle is largely a waste of time.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Lately, there has been a movement going on where a lot of guys have hyped up "social circle game" or "expanding your social circle" in order to meet women. While this would be okay in theory, it is being promoted as an alternative to cold approach by guys and especially by coaches trying to sell a product. As someone who has tasted both social circle game success and cold approach success in his life, I am here to talk about why social circle game is a poor alternative to cold approach.

There is nothing wrong with having a "social circle" for the sake of friendships.

If you like people and like to make friends, then go ahead. I encourage men to get social circles and make friends outside of game. In fact, I encourage guys to not just use women for sex but if the sex and chemistry was good, feel free to call her and her friends to cool events in town you may know. You can meet a lot of cool people this way, some of her friends might like you and stay in touch in case things don't work out between you two, and you can explore a lot of cool places together. Have a social circle for the sake of friendships and fun, it's just that when you do it to escape from cold approach to meet women, it goes poorly.

The reality about "social circle game" in the context of meeting women.

Guys believe that they can show up to the right "social circle" and meet hot girls who will just be clamoring for them. There are quite a few flaws with this way of thinking. One is that most guys out there who have access to hot girls are not going to let just any random dude into their parties. The other issue is that even if they did, women don't magically become nicer to you because you happen to know the same people they do. Quite a few attractive women could care less if you are friends with someone they also happen to know unless that someone can get them ahead in something like a modeling career or get them more clout.

We are not talking about any plain ole social circle here, we are talking about one which is likely to have a lot of hot girls in it. Just getting into said social circle is not going to do that much for you. You heard me right, a lot of hot girls are b*tches to many guys in their social circle as well.

So what kinds of guys actually kill it with social circle game?

You might ask, what kinds of guys are usually killing it with social circle game? The first ones, very rare, are those who are quite high status. Think someone with connections to celebrities, someone with a yacht, or someone who runs a modeling contest. These kinds of men are relatively rare. What about the rest of the men killing it?

It is guys that don't need it because they are so good at getting women from other avenues like online dating and cold approach. I have seen it so much to where the guys who are desired by women in a given social circle are the same guys who have no commitment to that social circle. They do cold approach, they do it well, and they get matches from online dating. These guys will even show up to brunch or a night event with a date not from that social circle. The women in it will then get curious about the guy and if he is not committed, want to get with him.

Most guys in social circles if they are not tied down are often desperately fighting for the girls in it. They might luck out here and there but soon, they get the creepy reputation, people stop calling them to events, and they ousted from the social circle. These guys have to rely on the social circle for their source of women and sex.

The men who are doing well with social circle game don't even need the social circle, they are getting girls from cold approach, online, and other avenues and social circle is just one other avenue for them. The women in the circle want them because they are wondering how this guy gets girls from outside of the circle.

So is social circle game a nice to have? Yes but it is not an alternative to guys that suck with women.

my experience with SS is that Women are the initiators & choosers

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Never been an either/or for me. Wherever I am, if I see a cute girl I talk to her. Women will handle most of the seducing after that if you're high value.

 

[zekko]

I agree, it should be about incorporating social circle and cold approach along with online dating.

Well, I'm sure you're right, but I've never tried online dating. And honestly, from what I read about it on this forum, it doesn't sound too appealing. I guess that's how most people date these days though.

 

[kavi]

Or they are trying to sell you something which is becoming more and more popular these days. Social circle game coaches are the equivalent of PUA coaches back in the day trying to sell you their social media products. They will diss cold approach and then show off photos of them with paid models. In some rare cases they have a lifestyle hack like hosting some swimsuit contest and they want to show that off.

Who are these social circle game coaches?

 

[kavi]

Social Circle is the ultimate form of Game. Because just cold-approaching is like ok now u have a girl where are you going to put her.

The reason for the downfall of relationships is related to general atomization is society which is related to lack of communities or 'social groups'.

I know some ppl dont like to hear about politics and stuff but this is how it is. Personally I am still working on building a movement which is meant to be based around developing social groups and social circles. Ofcourse for this to work out women cannot be hooking up with guys outside of the social group.

In general in society everything is breaking down due lack to positive social groups ie communities. This is also the reason for the breakdown of relationships in general. Casual sex for women was a new trend and those gen-x women now in their 40s and late 30s first started this trend in their 20s. But now women engaging in casual sex will further decrease as the trend has run its course.

Pretty soon I expect all cold-approachers to have access to a social circle otherwise women will see them as losers or low-value. Why would any woman want to sleep with some random guy who approached her on the streets and he dont even have access to any social circles or groups for validation.

In the fiuture social circles will determine to a large extent a guys 'success' with females. All that is required is development of the movement and the social groups/communities. That is not easy.

 

[SW15]

Who are these social circle game coaches?

Michael Sartain is one. He's pro social circle because he's picked off Dan Blizerian's scraps.

Lately, there has been a movement going on where a lot of guys have hyped up "social circle game" or "expanding your social circle" in order to meet women.

Is the end goal here meeting women for casual sex or for extended relationships? Using social circle for anything other than LTRs is generally not going to end well.

Social circle has been falling off as a way of meeting women for longer term relationships since the 1990s. It was the number one method for forming LTRs between the 1950s-1980s. Tech-based dating methods have taken a lot of the share away from social circle as the way for forming new relationships.

In my non-representative social circle, I know multiple couples that formed via social circle. One formed a relationship with his wife through a social circle in a different city, then moved to the city where I live with his girlfriend in tow. They later married. There were 2 other social circle relationships formed in my social circle 8-10 years ago, which I mentioned earlier in this thread and will mention later in this post.

Have a social circle for the sake of friendships and fun, it's just that when you do it to escape from cold approach to meet women, it goes poorly.

Most men do have a social circle because they need friends. Men form friendships during the K-12 years, much of which happen prior to puberty. If a man stays in the same area as where he did his K-12 years, he'll often have some portion of his childhood friends lingering into adulthood, depending upon a number of different factors.

Transplanted adults to big cities often form new friendships and social circles with other transplanted adults. These social circles are somewhat weaker than the social circles of adults that go all the way back to the K-12 years or even college for those who attended college.

Most guys in social circles if they are not tied down are often desperately fighting for the girls in it. They might luck out here and there but soon, they get the creepy reputation, people stop calling them to events, and they ousted from the social circle. These guys have to rely on the social circle for their source of women and sex.

My primary social circle in my current city was formed due to many transplanted adults getting together as newbies to a city. The social circle is primarily men. There were some women that eventually entered the realm of this male grouping of transplanted adults. Often times, it was co-workers of some men from the circle who worked in a large company. In one such case of a female co-worker of one of the men entering the circle, multiple men fought extremely hard to persuade her to date them. She was not a spectacular prospect but did capture a lot of attention. The man from my circle who eventually got an LTR with her had to compete hard for her and wait multiple months for sex (violation of Iron Rule of Tomassi #3) due to her prudish reputation. Another woman found her way into the circle and also had multiple men competing, and the man who entered an LTR with her also had wait multiple months for sex from her. In both of those social circle formed relationships with significant competition for women, these men eventually lived with the girlfriends from the social circle (violation of Iron Rule of Tomassi #4).

It's clear that my local area social circle has taken a more blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships. There's a thread about my blue pill social circle.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

The men who are doing well with social circle game don't even need the social circle, they are getting girls from cold approach, online, and other avenues and social circle is just one other avenue for them. The women in the circle want them because they are wondering how this guy gets girls from outside of the circle.

This is where I disagree. There are plenty of men (typically betas) who are able to get women to pay attention to them based upon a social circle endorsement. Had the man been forced to meet that woman through approaching her in real life or by swiping on her, he would have never gotten her attention or gotten the first date. Having an insider connection in social circle can get a man's foot in the door so to speak.

Plenty of LTRs form because of this.

 

[corsica]

I had a younger relative (10 years younger than me) who was in med-school. He lived in a big apartment in a big capital, sharing it with another 4 friends. They used to do gatherings many times a week (parties, BBQ, etc) with a LOT of girls. Something like 40 people at a time, mostly girls since you have more girls attending college.

Now imagine a ~30yo guy (me) surrounded by 20yo girls. I was killing it since the ratio was great (like 3-4 girls for every dude) and I was more experienced (living by myself, making good money, etc) and being way more smooth talking than the rest of the kids. And I looked young (they didn't know I was 10 years older than them). Best time of my life.

 

[SW15]

I had a younger relative (10 years younger than me) who was in med-school. He lived in a big apartment in a big capital, sharing it with another 4 friends. They used to do gatherings many times a week (parties, BBQ, etc) with a LOT of girls. Something like 40 people at a time, mostly girls since you have more girls attending college.

Now imagine a ~30yo guy (me) surrounded by 20yo girls. I was killing it since the ratio was great (like 3-4 girls for every dude) and I was more experienced (living by myself, making good money, etc) and being way more smooth talking than the rest of the kids. And I looked young (they didn't know I was 10 years older than them). Best time of my life.

This sounds like undergrad and not medical school (which is graduate level). Additionally, in a graduate level program like law, medicine, or business, the female students in those programs tend to be less attractive. The most attractive women do not need to get an advanced degree. However, I will admit that there are women in the 6-7.5 range who do end up as doctors, dentist, lawyers, etc.

When I was in undergrad in 2001-2005, ratios at most colleges at the undergrad level were pretty close to 50-50. When I was making my college decision at a high school senior in the 2000-2001 school year, I did consider sex ratios at the college where I applied. The ratios were not too much different at the colleges where I applied, so it was somewhat of a non-factor in the decision where I went to undergrad.

It wasn't until some point after 2005 where undergrad classes got to be noticeably more female.

The sex ratios that are skewing more female on campus aren't making a difference for most men. In the last 20-25 years, we've seen undergrad classes go from from about 50% female to 60-65% female and more men are incel/borderline incel on campus. Most average looking women don't want to consider mating with most average level men. Average level men are often virtually invisible to average looking women. The normie tier looking women are most interested in attracting the attention of the top tier men.

As for @corsica and his experience, that sounds great and sounds like a good use of social circle.

 

[Bigpapa]

This sounds like undergrad and not medical school (which is graduate level). Additionally, in a graduate level program like law, medicine, or business, the female students in those programs tend to be less attractive. The most attractive women do not need to get an advanced degree. However, I will admit that there are women in the 6-7.5 range who do end up as doctors, dentist, lawyers, etc.

When I was in undergrad in 2001-2005, ratios at most colleges at the undergrad level were pretty close to 50-50. When I was making my college decision at a high school senior in the 2000-2001 school year, I did consider sex ratios at the college where I applied. The ratios were not too much different at the colleges where I applied, so it was somewhat of a non-factor in the decision where I went to undergrad.

It wasn't until some point after 2005 where undergrad classes got to be noticeably more female.

The sex ratios that are skewing more female on campus aren't making a difference for most men. In the last 20-25 years, we've seen undergrad classes go from from about 50% female to 60-65% female and more men are incel/borderline incel on campus. Most average looking women don't want to consider mating with most average level men. Average level men are often virtually invisible to average looking women. The normie tier looking women are most interested in attracting the attention of the top tier men.

As for @corsica and his experience, that sounds great and sounds like a good use of social circle.

Because the average woman from a social point of view is better than the average guy

The average guy is a loser, you do not have to be a rocket scientist to see this

Look at the first 100 guys that you see on the street first and you will notice that most of them are quite pathetic

 

[CornbreadFed]

Look at the first 100 guys that you see on the street first and you will notice that most of them are quite pathetic

This is why I don’t take the black pill seriously or cry about your stupid most men aren’t having sex article.

 

[kavi]

The Solution to the Social Circle Game: Development of a new Social Culture and Movement

Ok guys I am just gonna leave this out here. This how things are gonna play out in the West over the coming years. The New Social Culture is the solution to all this so it would be good if some guys can understand this and think about how they can be involved, test it for themselves, position themselves and adjust their outlooks accordingly.

Modern culture is dead primarily due to lack of positive, cohesive and 'unironic' social interaction. Ironic aspects are the cause of discontent and cause social groups to fall apart. In social groups the Ironic or destructive element comes from the high importance given to coupling, marriage and nuclear family. Ultimately this always causes social groups to break down or have weak energy as MOST ppl are there to find a partner and couple up with the group itself not give enough value.

This is primarily the fault of women who cannot let go of 'Game' and stop always thinking about locking guys down into mariage or generally women thinking too much about Marriage Game and not Social Game.

The solution for men is simple to explain but hard to execute. Basically men need to develop positive social circles and then avoid getting too close ie monogamous LTR with one girl. One guy will likely have multiple women in the social group that are romantically involved with him, but they will be at arms length this allowing him to run the group. There will be other men and women in the social group.

The guy running this group will be an 'Alpha Male' probably in his 30s/40s and he can make some money and have a decent life running this group. But even without this leader type guy men can still run this 'game'.

There needs to be multiple such groups. The groups will bring social value to women. The men will organise social events between different groups, within their groups, with the public. The parties will cater to women and so women will want to be part of the group. Women can meet other men and women in the gatherings.

Once women are in this group and they want it to continue, mostly those women with the top 'alpha guys' ie leaders with magnetism then will respect it as their natural social heirarchy and soon they will want respect of the top women and men, so will basically stop sleeping around with random tinder guys etc.

The top guys who can do well i dunno I imagine most current leaders like Andrew Tate, YTers like LFA, generally masculine guys good with women they could all be able to run their own groups but they would need training.

And then women who want to be married its like thats cool but the guys are still gonna be involved in the social groups, so the marriage cannot take all the energy or commitment from the men. Therefore, marriages and other commitments between men and women are standardised in the social group.

 

[Bigpapa]

This is why I don’t take the black pill seriously or cry about your stupid most men aren’t having sex article.

I think that the average guy is somewhere around 2-5 partners lifetime, so he gets laid and does not at the same time haha

( and this has nothing to do necessarily with how high status he is )

The difference between guys who get laid quite often and does who are not is the energy you put into meeting girls . Most guys do not really do anything to
Meet girls

If you have an average life, this is not really that compatible with being a p8ssy magnet

That is why social game ( extended social game) is very solid. By going out, you start meeting people who have other friends and so on

As a very basic example, I have a friend that was putting stories with girls, guys, etc . He was getting a lot of follows from the friends of the people he was doing stories with

 

[Epimanes]

unless the girl over 35. And who wants that?

What's wrong with 35+ .. lol... I'm 45 lol

 

[DonJuanjr]

and being way more smooth talking than the rest of the kids.

Can you give examples of how you were more smooth talking vs the others?

 

[The Duke]

Just do what works for you, try it all. All of these rigid theories are a waste of time.

There are so many variations of social circles. Different guys will get different results. Be social, put yourself out there.

 

[Barrister]

I think @zekko nailed what most of us think when we think "social circle." It doesn't mean you 3-4 best friends ala Seinfeld but rather the greater whole of connections your friends have altogether and who runs across each other at social events. I have gotten involved with a few women in this extended social circle over the years. My experience though is that there is always fallout when you aren't interested long term. I have gotten "player" labels slapped onto me at different times in the previous 5 years, mostly due to these social circle interactions. Now, I am a big proponent behind the idea that "any press is good press", so I haven't really cared about that. But it is something to consider.

I agree with OP that cold approach is always the best method. You pull hotter, younger, and have more options than you do with OLD and you aren't locked into just a few options like you are with "social circle game."

 

[corsica]

Can you give examples of how you were more smooth talking vs the others?

I don’t know how old are you but remember when you were interested in girls as a teenager and you approached them? At your 20s you realize you did a lot of mistakes and were not smooth. I don’t know how to explain but some of my competition back then:

There was one guy in the party who was bragging about his watch and for having a car (beta bux).
Another looked awkward. Scared of girls.
Another was too touchy/gropey (sitting next to girls and putting his arm over their shoulders) and the girls were clearly not interested.
Other guy was trying to approach a girl who was clearly not interested.
Another was without his shirt thinking girls would be attracted to his physique.

I approached smoothly by talking normally with them. First introducing myself, chatting, building “chemistry” and escalating. If not able to kiss a girl at the scene, get her number for a date. Usually with few friends at my place initially for drinks. Then to a club. At the club I would kiss them and then head to my place to bang. Rinse and repeat.

in another thread I give a better description:

Satisfying sex life

Who among you is really successful with women? I'd be curious to know what your strong point is. In my life I have known 2 people in particular who are very successful, and they are the opposite of each other, one is very elusive almost unable to hold a normal conversation, I would call him...

www.sosuave.net

 

[zekko]

Now, I am a big proponent behind the idea that "any press is good press"

Not if you're Bud Light.

 

[SW15]

rather the greater whole of connections your friends have altogether and who runs across each other at social events.

That's how I think of social circle game as well. Over the years, I have not had a good quantity or good quality of social circle introductions from events.

I have gotten involved with a few women in this extended social circle over the years. My experience though is that there is always fallout when you aren't interested long term. I have gotten "player" labels slapped onto me at different times in the previous 5 years, mostly due to these social circle interactions. Now, I am a big proponent behind the idea that "any press is good press", so I haven't really cared about that. But it is something to consider.

I agree with OP that cold approach is always the best method. You pull hotter, younger, and have more options than you do with OLD and you aren't locked into just a few options like you are with "social circle game."

If a man is looking to arrange dates from the social circle method, then he needs to have the intention of longer term relationships. Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circles are more forgiving if you have a divorce, especially a childless divorce. Remember that most social circles operate with a blue pill/feminine ideal approach to relationships.

Arranging dates from approach strangers in-person eliminates this problem, but is often a more challenging path in terms of getting and keeping attention in the early stages.