why should you avoid single mom milfs

[mackdaddy27]

what is it about milfy single moms that makes
the general consensus here that
one should stay away from them at all costs ?

Is it the fact they have emotional baggage, or have
been around the block too much, or just that they
are desperate and not many guys would deal with them
or they have too many problems ( financial, parental, or otherwise) ?

 

[vitor]

Well they have kids that they will put first before you. It is not that they are bad, but they do have baggage a kid, a babys daddy. They can not just go away for the weekend at a whims notice. She will be sizing you up as a boyfriend and a possiable father. Some of your dates might be you and her, and the others could be you her and her son/daughter. I do not avoid them but ideally would not date them..

 

[window]

if you don't mind the excuse..."I can't find a babysitter so I'd have to bring the kids would you mind ?" then go for it.

 

[squirrels]

Well they have kids that they will put first before you.

This is the crux of it. It will always be "my baby" instead of "our baby". Don't be surprised if the kid doesn't use that as leverage too, as it gets old enough to understand. (i.e. the classic, "you're not my father!!") Not to mention if baby-daddy is still around.

If you're going to marry into a pre-made family, you'd better be one hell of an altruistic and strong-willed sun-a-ma-bish. It's a self-sacrificial act. If you KNOW what you're getting into, and you still want to go forward, then more power to you.

The thing is most people get blinded by the p**sy and start thinking ridiculous things like, "Oh, a kid won't make THAT big a difference!" Oh yes it will, and don't forget it.

 

[sodbuster]

You usually can't discipline the kid that is raising hell in your life[DON'T discipline MY child]. You get to pay for college for a kid that isn't yours[even if mommy pays for it, it's that much less in the communal wallet]. BUT, they think you should take time off your job for their kids BD party and let them stay at work[I HAVE heard that statement from a woman-nevermind that he was good enough to marry her and help raise her 3 kids] The sense of entitlement never ends.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

what is it about milfy single moms that makes
the general consensus here that
one should stay away from them at all costs ?

Is it the fact they have emotional baggage, or have
been around the block too much, or just that they
are desperate and not many guys would deal with them
or they have too many problems ( financial, parental, or otherwise) ?

1. You are the third wheel
2. You are raising another mans sperm
3. You are dealing with the emotional baggage of her previous relationship
4. You could end up having to support the little mite. Courts wont side with you that often bro.
5. You have to deal with the father, who by all accounts is normally still in the picture
6. You rarely have much say in how the kids are raised if the father is still around

Sorry dude. Classic case of ****ing the quarterback and getting the chess geek to raise him. Only time you could consider it is if she is a widow. Then maybe. Other then that? Not a chance.

 

[scrapperdog]

Guys, a woman that does not put her kids first is literally undateable, It would signify a real lack of maturity and priorities. This immaturity would trickle down to the children and cause way more problems with them than with a woman who sets a good example.

Also guys, if this ends up being a ltr then remember it is your house. As the day to day male in the house your power is much greater than what is pictured in this thread. Most fathers dont want a bunch of drama and problems in their childrens life. The drama department is for women. If your treating his children fair and there is good communication going on most fathers want you to run your house and not micro manage it from afar. This requires a level of trust that wont happen instantly but will happen if you doing things the right way.

It is in the best interests of the child to have a strong responsible male in the house. It is every fathers fear that the woman will move on to a man who treats the children badly and is a screw up. When he realizes that is not you, and accepts that the relationship with the woman is over, then he will do what is best for the child and accept and maybe even appreciate you for what your bringing to the table. Give the real fathers a bit of credit, most of em wont be drama queens, they know your supporting and raising their children and wont be looking to constantly step in unless it is needed.

 

[jophil28]

Here is another reason why you should NOT get into an LTR or worse, a Marriage with a single mother. THis story is from my personal experience and you will NEVER see this coming until it actually happens.

The short version...
You and she date for a while and eventually you meet the kids.They grow fond of you and likewise. You spend a lot of time at her house because she has 'kiddy committments'. After a year or two she asks you to move in..You hesitare but she offers you all manner of positive reasons to do so. YOu agree and mostly things are fine with your role as "new dad" and "new man of the house" . You talk marriage, and long term stuff.
Then one day you and she get in an argument about your "role" . She refuses to talk it out to a resolution and, instead, retreats into her children. They go into a huddle ..Nobody will talk to you for days. You are frozen out.
IT is obvious that Mom expects her children to join her in being angry with you, and the children obeyher,....she and the kids are now your enemy IN HER HOUSE.

A lot of single mothers have recruited their children to be mom's comforter, confidante and "friend" after their father left. Mom like this cling to her children for a sense of security, and later on turns to them for emotional intimacy .

When YOU and mom have a falling out, she quickly returns once again to her children for comfort. AN impossible situation.

 

[scrapperdog]

After a year or two she asks you to move in..You hesitate

Follow your instincts. This is why moving into her house and shacking up with kids is generally bad. You cant be the man of the house in this situation, your a disposable addition to HER house.

 

[STR8UP]

Only dated one chick that had a kid, and although she was a psycho to begin with it gave me enough of a glimpse into the single mommie lifestyle that I would not care to do it again unless the chick was super awesome.

 

[mackdaddy27]

I had an LTR with a single mommy of two when I was 21 and another at 26. At the time I was blind as a bat. Sure they love sex, but the entire frame is compromised. For an LTR to work, she has to be the woman and you have to be the man. But man of what with a single mommy? It isn't your house, they aren't your kids, you're not the father of her children. How can you be a real man when your only real authority in the situation is at what level you are going to fund another man's ejaculation into "your" woman's vagina. That is inherently low status behavior. How could you satisfy your masculinity in such a subservient role?

Many single moms are great women who hold it together with minimal dysfunction and they deserve a man; and they find them in AFC's who are more than happy to take the role of supplicating male.

NO SINGLE MOMMIES is like calling 100% of all penny stocks a scam. Sure there are exceptions, but if you adopt that attitude, you'll end up being right 99% of the time.

that was funny

 

[Jitterbug]

If it's just casual sex, it's fine. Don't date them.

 

[GuanYu]

I don't think it's fair to generalize the situation. It depends on how involved the baby's father is and how much one likes the woman they're dating.

For instance, if the woman is awesome, baby father isn't in the picture(or better yet, the kid has never met the real father and more than likely never will) I think single moms could probably be the most ideal candidates for ltr's.

Why?

1) Most of them will be in the mid to late 20's which means they've gotten most if not all of their party tendancies out of their systems.

2) They've had their fair share of c0ck and are ready for something exclusive and meaningful

3) They more than likely won't play nearly as many games as single women without children, which is beneficial.

4) They're more likely to cook or at least put in effort to learn if they don't know how since they have to feed their kid.

I'm sure there's many other reasons, but if you're a man looking for an ltr and the single mom's child has never met the real father, you don't mind kids and even for a bonus you happen to enter the childs life when they're very young(1 year old or so) I don't think that's a bad situation. Of course if you want to spend nights alone you'll need a babysitter, but if you know people or have family members that wouldn't be a problem.

Saying to avoid single moms altogether is only crippling your chances to see more variety. In my experience, women that have had children have much better p*ssy and they know how to get off more easily and enjoy sex a lot more.

 

[Mr. Me]

You read it all the time in online personals:

"I'm a mother of two wonderful children"
"I enjoy spending time with my children"
"My children are my pleasure in life"
"Blah blah children blah blah blah"

Her children will be the major cause of your coitus interruptus.

 

[MatureDJ]

• You raise a good point with your first statement, you lose whether she puts her kids first, or not.
  
• For your 2nd and 3rd points, why bother with the bs here when you can just go date a single unladen woman? Being a single mother is a consequence of women not looking ahead when hooking up with a man. If enough of them go through a hard time because of it, maybe others will learn to keep their legs closed a little more often.

Perhaps his sexual market value is too low to get childless women of the same otherwise caliber. An attractive woman who has a child will not get as much attention from other men, so she is more willing to date a man lower on the desirability scale. It seems that he would rather date an attractive MILF than a less attractive childless woman, and is trying to get positive community feedback for this decision to mask the uneasy feeling he gets about dating single mommies.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

There's a whole modern world that's teeming with AFC providers with Cap'n Save-a-ho Martyr Mentalities just itching to get at the pussie they missed out on in their 20's and more than willing to convince themselves that single mommies are just victims of the Jerks they knocked out their kids with.


Understand, single mommies are another form of Buffers. The deductive logic is that they're 'easier' due the their conditions and the risk of rejection lower (particularly if you're rejection-phobic or in a dry spell), but the potential long term ramifications are never worth the effort incomparisson to childless women. Rejection is better than regret.

Never allow your conditions to lower your standards. Go out and initiate with single women you are genuinely attracted to rather than settling for ones who are anything less than ideal. Keep your standards inspite of your conditions.

Have a read of Schedules of Mating to get a better understanding of the single mommy trap.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

..the deductive logic is that they're 'easier'..

Because they are

..the single mommy trap...

It's only a trap if believe that pu$$y has some kind of magical jedi hypnotic mind power over you.

It can't be said any more succintly than Jitterbug did:

If it's just casual sex, it's fine. Don't date them.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

For single mothers, the problem with casual sex is that it too often turns into a casual pregnancy for them. Caveat emptor.

 

[NewMan]

For single mothers, the problem with casual sex is that it too often turns into a casual pregnancy for them. Caveat emptor.

This is the key - if they have had one, they'll have another. Not worth the risk.

 

[Warrior74]

Guys, a woman that does not put her kids first is literally undateable, It would signify a real lack of maturity and priorities. This immaturity would trickle down to the children and cause way more problems with them than with a woman who sets a good example.

Also guys, if this ends up being a ltr then remember it is your house. As the day to day male in the house your power is much greater than what is pictured in this thread. Most fathers dont want a bunch of drama and problems in their childrens life. The drama department is for women. If your treating his children fair and there is good communication going on most fathers want you to run your house and not micro manage it from afar. This requires a level of trust that wont happen instantly but will happen if you doing things the right way.

It is in the best interests of the child to have a strong responsible male in the house. It is every fathers fear that the woman will move on to a man who treats the children badly and is a screw up. When he realizes that is not you, and accepts that the relationship with the woman is over, then he will do what is best for the child and accept and maybe even appreciate you for what your bringing to the table. Give the real fathers a bit of credit, most of em wont be drama queens, they know your supporting and raising their children and wont be looking to constantly step in unless it is needed.

best post in thread. As a father, i bumped heads with my ex's new boyfriend until he finally realised I didn't want her back. I want what's best for my child. Now when my kid complains about something, best believe I'm gonna talk to him about it and expect him to do something about it. If you can't deal with that, don't sign on.

Never ever ever date a single mom who pushes the kids on you from day one. In fact, if you meet her kids before you have sex, I would bail. They are looking for a provider big time. This is from personal experience. If you date single mothers, make sure they are in the same socio-economic class as yourself (assuming you are firmly middle class) or higher (this is perferable). That way the issues of money, and bills and the deseprate need for a provider is removed from the interaction and you can enjoy each other more. Good luck.