Why men should get married by the time they are 40

StevenR

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I wonder what Russian women think of American/Western men? If they see us as just as messed up as we think of feminist American women? And if it isn't for economic reasons, why would they have no problem dating a much older man, when apparently American women don't want a man much older, or in some cases, even a little older than themselves? Is it a cultural thing?
I also notice quite a few of the women on porn sites are obviously Eastern European, why would they do this if there was no economic desperation?

Back to the original topic, before I started browsing the personals, I thought most women wanted a guy anywhere between her age to about 10 years older than her, once she is in her mid 30's I would figure she would broaden that to men between her own age and 15-20 years older than herself. I thought they wanted older men because they wanted someone who was mature, as opposed to a boyfriend who acts like a little boy compared to her, I thought this is the way most women thought about the age issue. Reading the personals it seems that the modern woman likes the idea of a younger partner as much as a typical guy does.

This being the case, I wonder if women in their late thirties/early forties who are still attractive would be an easy lay for me off of match.com? I don't want to be a man***** but I do want to get laid. I have only had two sex partners in my life, and I would like more variety and experience until I find my soulmate. It has been awhile since I last had sex, and since I have been working out and going to the gym I am frankly getting really horny lately. And some of those woman in that age group still look like they have nice bodies, they just aren't going to keep them for much longer at their age.
I hope I am not being too blatantly honest here and coming across as a jerk who wants to use women, I mean I would only do a short term/FB if it is consensual, I just don't know how to get into that situation. My only sexual experiences was once when I was 19, then in a LTR relationship when we were supposedly in love or whatever.
 
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jophil28

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StevenR said:
.. I thought this is the way most women thought about the age issue. Reading the personals it seems that the modern wom
an likes the idea of a younger partner as much as a typical guy does.
You "thought " that most women "thought about the age issue.." ?
Most women do not THINK about anything in the sense of 'thinking' as contemplation or reflection of her available option or choices. What most women "say " is usually some impulsive outpouring of some emotion that just floated though her being. That is why we just take what they SAY they want with a big pinch of salt.

The moon waxes and wanes, the tides rise and fall twice each day, and the swirling and tumbling of a woman's feelings plays out in her speech.
 

Colossus

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StevenR said:
I just now decided to see what the age preferences of women in their mid-30's are on match.com. I did a search within a 50 mile radius of women 34-36 years old. I took the first one hundred women and looked at their age preferences, and I was surprised by what I found. Apparently 47% of these women would date a guy younger than thirty, just slightly less than the 59% who would still date you if you were a 41 year old. Even worse, if you are a 46 year old man only 14% of these women would consider dating you if you were this age.
If this is a reflection of American women in general, I am not looking forward to my mid forties and being single if I still am at that time. Or maybe it is just match, and they should rename that place the Cougar Den dating site or something.
I dont think you can draw a conclusion like this from a population sample entirely from match.com. "Statistics" like these are worthless anyways.
 

decades

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another guy who thinks he is "nothing" until a woman "Completes" him.
 

STR8UP

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Fukk getting married by 40.

I'm gonna waste the next ten or so years screwing around with these wacked out "independent" American women, then I'm gonna hit up Eastern Europe and have a good time. If I manage to land a good one over there...all the better.

Oh, and BTW, this is the worst thread ever.
 

guru1000

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This thread is one of the biggest defeatist mentalities I have come across in a while.

Steven, you might as well just hang up your gloves and remain celibate for the rest of your natural sex life.

What you have managed to do once again is CONJURE up another reason why you are unsuccessful and will continue to be with women.

My advice to you, GET OFF THE INTERNET. Embrace the real world to see how ACTUAL women behave and respond. You will find it quite different that reading internet profiles.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Ah, the lonley old man myth rears it's head once again. Yet another feminine social convention with the latent purpose of maintaining women as the prime sexual selector.

This notion is one of the biggest AFC rationale ever perpetrated on men. Is lonelines a disease that necessitates a cure? If men could be made to believe so, think of the potential profit to be made from, and the potential for manipulation of, men. The real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone. Precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real independence and self-reliance. The vast majority of guys (particularly in western culture) tend to transition from mother to wife with little or no intermission between, going from LTR to LTR until they 'settle' without ever having learned how to interact as an adult.

The fear of loneliness is entirely too exaggerated in modern western romaticism. The popularized fear-mythology of becoming the "lonely old man who never loved" is the new 'old maid' myth made popular in an era when a woman's worth was dependent upon her marital status and equally as false a premise. But in our brave new generation AFC, men (who've become women) are repackaged and shamed into believing this horsesh!t as part & parcel of feminized gender role reversal. And thus we get Speed Dating and eHarmony and a host of other "conveniences" to pacify the insecurities that this reversal instills in poor fatherless boys who're taught to believe we 'should' have in our personalities by no other virtue than that we were born male.

Don't buy into the powder-puff idea that if you don't find your ONE by the time you're 30 and ASAP you'll tempt fate and risk a life of quiet desperation. This contrivance only serves the interests of women who's imperative it is to enjoy their party years in their 20's with as many Jerks as they can attract and have a stable Nice Guy who's petrified he'll live a life of loneliness and desperation waiting for them at 28-30 to marry and ensure their long term security. Nothing would serve better for the 34-36 y.o. demographic you sampled here - all looking on an online dating service that provides them a Buffer.

Don't buy this lie. The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with the opportunities that freedom allows is the real measure of a man.

If you're single and 50 you STILL have options if you're only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who're dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who've been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years.
 

StevenR

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A bad marriage isn't great either, but I know this guy who is now 64 and he hasn't had that many dates in the 10 years or so since I have known him. A couple years ago he lost his long time job and has now lived out of a hotel room or apartment in various parts of the country chasing contract work.

The way he describes himself he was a player in his younger years and turned down opportunities to be married. I don't know how much he really enjoys his life, but to me it seems like kinda a lonely existence. He says younger women aren't interested in him anymore because he is too old, and he is not attracted to women his age.
 

Interceptor

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This is why it is so imperative for men to have a life Mission.
You must be content and fulfilled in your life.
If you make being married the sole focus on your life, what are you living in the meantime?
If you have no passions or hobbies, mission or purpose...a woman will not 'complete' you.

Your job, your duty IS to find out WHAT IS your Mission and Purpose, and work on achieving that.

Self improvement and Growth are necessary. Introspection and self refelction are crucial, and daily moment by moment skills that MUST be developed and maintained by mature men.


Of course, if you have no purpose other than some unfulfilling Job you will probably begin to focus on lack of fulfillment, and eventually, look at women fulfilling you. That empty space is not supposed to be filled by a woman.

That empty space is your responsibility.

She cannot fill it for you.

That is YOUR responsibility.

Find a hobby, a Passion, pursuits and interests.
Find your Mission as a Man. Find and DO your Mission in Life.

When you are in a STATE of BEING, other things begin to happen for you.
When you are in that state of being fulfilled, alive, content, grateful and of service to others, many of these issues drop away.

That is the KEY.

To let your self BE in that STATE.

BE, so you can DO, then HAVE.

It ALL starts in your belief system.

You MUST address all programming, all self limiting beliefs, and hurts, traumas, and imabalances you have.

Change your belief systems, allow yourself to BE.

So address WHAT you believe, realize it is not serving you. Why?
Because it is instilling FEAR.
FEAR based decisions lead to a narrow view of life, and a narrow, limited, and definitely unfulfilling, and uninspiring life.

You must carefully examine your motivations.
Your past pain and trauma.
Even if it hurts to do so.
You must look at your 'wounds'. And you must review your Belief System.

Recognize that the vast majority of people make the vast majority of their decisions based on FEAR, and irrational beliefs.
It's true.

You have had YEARS of programming keeping you in a 'safe' comfort zone.
Rationalizing this and that, to keep you from achieving what you want.
And if you do all of this from a FEAR based, hoarding, coveting, scarcity mindset you are in plain and simple terms FVCKED in your life.

You have effectively neutered yourself , your self esteem, your confidence, your courage, and your masculinity.

Women cannot, nor ever will, COMPLETE you.
They can only add or detract from your life.
Your life, health, wealth, and well being are ALWAYS the NUMBER ONE priority, otherwise YOU CANNOT effectively function maturely, confidently, and be of Service to others. Basically, you will be of NO VALUE to her anyway.
When you have NO LIFE, no woman can "CREATE" it FOR you.


When you feel everything is Scarce, you will withhold your talents , gifts, and service.
No one will want to be around you like that.
So build a fulfilling life that YOU want to live.
YOU must make YOURSELF HAPPY.
THAT is YOUR MISSION.

Find out how. Quick.
 

NSUballer

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My dad is 50, been divorced for over 10 years. And hes pimpin like theres not tomorrow. He doesnt just tell me this but other people have told me. I kind of used to feel bad for him but I didnt realize that he was probably having a good time. He does what he wants whenever he wants and doesnt have anyone to answer to.

Myself on the other hand, is more and more distrusting of any woman in their 20's or lower. For the most part, these girls just want to have fun, i think thats a song right. I like to have fun also, but some girls jump from guy to guy after the latter becomes uninteresting or would like a little more stability than the girl is willing to give. Ironically I am the same way, after seeing girls for a while I tend to become less and less interested in them. Especially if they give it up really quick thinking I will like them more because they let me hit it. Its exactly the opposite. I cant wait for a girl that will actually make me work for their attention just a little bit at least. I have very little time for anything except work, school, and football. I would make an effort for the right girl and have before, but it seems that the ones that really are worth it are becoming more scarce. I really dont have a problem being alone. I live alone and like it very much. And I never look for a womans approval for just about anything, unless it my Mama.
 

StevenR

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If you have no passions or hobbies, mission or purpose...a woman will not 'complete' you.

Your job, your duty IS to find out WHAT IS your Mission and Purpose, and work on achieving that.
That is all fine and dandy, and I agree that hobbies can be fun. I can be fulfilled in other ways, heck, I could win the Nobel prize for something and I would still feel like **** if all I had to come home to at night was my hand. Even if I am fulfilled in other ways, but my only sexual outlet is masturbation I am still not going to feel satisfied. I will be a sexually frustrated guy with a fun hobby or fulfilling accomplishment.

And yes, I was traumatized by women, I think that is a strong word, but I have memories of various women in college that I asked out and they all basically LJBF'd me and gave me all kinds of excuses why they were not currently dating, anything from "I have a boyfriend" to " I found Jesus" as if that had anything to do with not wanting to date. This in spite of the fact I was on the varsity ski racing team and had a pilots license. I was short when I got to college, I went from 5'6" to 5'9" by the time I graduated, and most of my traumatizing experiences were in high school and as a college freshman, after that I didn't try as much. Even now I am still loathe to approach women in person for fear they will pull the same crap on me, it is not quite as bad being rejected online as it is in person.
 

mintxx

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A+ for fieldwork, C- for synthesis and conclusion.

specifying <40 on a dating site is a covert way of avoiding a group that women expect to be:

divorced (i.e. cleaned out)
kids of his own (i.e. won't have time for mine)
a commitment-phobe
and so on. that is, why is a 40+ man on a dating site? they think to themselves 'the kind of guy i want wouldn't be using a dating site at that age' - nce double standard but hey.

however, it's not the actual age itself that they avoid, it's these characteristics and others. so don't worry about it, it's just chic-talk. my limited knowledge of goings on suggests that a single man 40+, if he's single for the right reason/s (including *gasp, shock-horror* CHOICE), is in plenty high demand.
 

Gangster Of Love

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bsthatcher said:
About 80% of the guys above 40 on Match.com are fat and bald/balding.

Don't know if this reflects the general population, but that is probably why.

That's is very true. I got girls 8-12 years younger than me telling they wouldn't date anybody 5-6 years older, yet they are all over my jock.
 

Fantasy

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jophil28 said:
Look ,women say a lot of things - they open their mouths and words fall out.
Take no notice. Words from women mean zip.
Do you think that they would turn down a date with Mr Clooney at his age, c.48 ??

I only read so far as this post because I think it says it all.
 
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Now I'm hearing about scientific studies showing men over 40 years old having a more difficult time having kids because the sperm quality and count is compromised beyond that age. Oh well, I guess I wont be having any kids since I don't know when I'll get married. The only cold consolation for me is that science is not perfect and even people over the age of 50 or 60 year old guys have been able to have children. Not that being a dad's a big deal to me anyway, I still don't want to take responsibility over another human being in this crazy world.
 

MatureDJ

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Luke Skywalker said:
Now I'm hearing about scientific studies showing men over 40 years old having a more difficult time having kids because the sperm quality and count is compromised beyond that age. Oh well, I guess I wont be having any kids since I don't know when I'll get married. The only cold consolation for me is that science is not perfect and even people over the age of 50 or 60 year old guys have been able to have children. Not that being a dad's a big deal to me anyway, I still don't want to take responsibility over another human being in this crazy world.
I don't think this 90 y.o. guy did anything special except stick it in:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-476980/Worlds-oldest-father-21st-child-90.html
 
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