Why is wanting "too much" sex an issue to the point of breaking up?

[C-quenced]

My past few LTR's initiated breakups with me because supposedly all I ever wanna do is have sex. It gets to the point where they shame me by telling me things like "you ask for too much", "is that all you ever think about" or "you act like a 16 year old kid when you don't get what you want". Basically they make me feel like I'm consistently pestering them and things go downhill from there. In the beginning of a relationship the sex is consistent and when I bring that up they tell me it was only to keep me happy. What the ****? I feel like I'm the only one who experiences these issues.

 

[ucde]

They probably have emotional needs that they don't feel you are meeting.

Are their emotional needs legitimate? Are your sexual needs legitimate?

For example, there might be a desire to connect deeply over a problem she has been having. But she didn't feel you fully connected, so she feels she didn't really share it with you. Then she feels conflicted about sharing her body, because another part of herself that she wanted to share, wasn't accepted. I have no idea, but that's just a hypothesis.

Women are emotions, spirit, mind and body. Preventing access to the body is a way of communicating that she needs your love applied to another part of her being. When that is ameliorated, most likely the body will be shared again. But I have no idea, and perhaps you just need to meet women who will want to f*ck more. But I have a sneaking suspicion its more than just that. Good luck.

 

[Lexington]

You're not running enough dread game. They think they have you hooked and they can tone down the sex. I guarantee they wouldn't feel that way if they were very concerned that they were going to lose you to someone hotter than them. Never get complacent. Keep working out, keep pursuing excellence and make sure that you can easily replace your woman.

 

[Malcontent]

My last gf said all I wanted her for was sex and I felt I was entitled to it all the time. This was early on.

She later said her previous ex was OK with not having sex for months at a time. This chick was about 20 at the time of saying this.

Yet, she also said she cheated on her ex with "about ten guys."

What a riddle.

 

[Malcontent]

....he just quietly puts his head back in the harness and heads back out to the fields like the (ox) he is.

Love that analogy

 

[Poon King]

My last gf said all I wanted her for was sex and I felt I was entitled to it all the time. This was early on.

She later said her previous ex was OK with not having sex for months at a time. This chick was about 20 at the time of saying this.

Yet, she also said she cheated on her ex with "about ten guys."

What a riddle.

There is no riddle. The bottom line is most women are manipulative and slutty.

The faster you accept this as a man, the easier life will get.

 

[Slickster]

My past few LTR's initiated breakups with me because supposedly all I ever wanna do is have sex. It gets to the point where they shame me by telling me things like "you ask for too much", "is that all you ever think about" or "you act like a 16 year old kid when you don't get what you want". Basically they make me feel like I'm consistently pestering them and things go downhill from there. In the beginning of a relationship the sex is consistent and when I bring that up they tell me it was only to keep me happy. What the ****? I feel like I'm the only one who experiences these issues.

I bet in the beginning of the relationship you weren't "asking" for sex. It happened all on it's own. That is the spot you want to stay in.

Get out of the habit of asking or requesting sex. In fact try not to talk about it at all. It's not sexy.

Make your move and show her you want her. If she shows resistance the worst thing you can do is complain or show you are upset and frustrated. It gives her all the power in the world.

If she resists, pull away your attention and do other things. Start going out with out her. Always chat up other girls when you are in her presence. Competition anxiety must always be there. When sex frequency comes back reward her with more attention, etc.

Repeat as required until you are getting sex at the proper rate or find another girlfriend.

 

[Boilermaker]

I bet in the beginning of the relationship you weren't "asking" for sex. It happened all on it's own. That is the spot you want to stay in.

Get out of the habit of asking or requesting sex. In fact try not to talk about it at all. It's not sexy.

Make your move and show her you want her. If she shows resistance the worst thing you can do is complain or show you are upset and frustrated. It gives her all the power in the world.

If she resists, pull away your attention and do other things. Start going out with out her. Always chat up other girls when you are in her presence. Competition anxiety must always be there. When sex frequency comes back reward her with more attention, etc.

Repeat as required until you are getting sex at the proper rate or find another girlfriend.

Best response.

OP: Be interesting. Make it interesting, maintaining the frame can be done in two ways,

(1) Fake it, and be constantly on the lookout for whether you are slipping ..

(2) Be (genuinely) an interesting, charismatic, attractive personality that they willingly want to associate with.

Most of the advice in this thread comes from that "bitter" angle, where you fake it and maintain the frame artificially, by "punishing" your partner.

Mystery and all the PUAs are unanimously hated here (not that these guys know any better) but his technique when he was refused sex was to NOT throw a fit. "You don't want it? OK - let's hang out. Let's play chess" ... "Let's go out" ... , and so on.

Getting upset over "not getting sex" will indeed make you be perceived as a 16-year old, especially in the beginning of a relationship.

Take a hard look at yourself, if you can honestly say, you'd want to fvck your own brains out if you were a girl, then you're good to go.

All the best,

 

[Sonic1]

A woman who says you are only interested in sex (or too much sex), generally has nothing else to offer.

 

[C-quenced]

Thanks for the help guys. I think there's a lot of truth to everything everyone's been saying. I've tried the whole "dread game" thing and it works but it doesn't take very long for them to get too comfortable again and revert back to the same bull****. They even have the audacity to tell me I'm an addict and need therapy.

I don't have time for this and I'm getting fed up to the point where I see going ghost and taking a permanent vacation away from these LTR's as the only viable option once it hits that point in the relationship. Besides these women really don't seem to think twice about jumping ship when they find it convenient.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I've got the line, "All you want is sex" from every girl I saw beyond a one night stand. But WTF all they were good for was sex.

What they were really saying was, "You aren't being a groveling servant to me".

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've never gotten that line. I have gotten "all you want me for is threesomes." And...well, yeah...she was a smart girl.

I tend to only like girls who like me a lot, so it just never comes up. I prefer lonely single moms who only have one or two nights a week free. There's no time for dating, because they need to get laid. If you keep about three of those plates going, you will always be having sex and still be in the position of being asked for more, instead of scolded over it.

 

[WanderingMan]

Best response.

OP: Be interesting. Make it interesting, maintaining the frame can be done in two ways,

(1) Fake it, and be constantly on the lookout for whether you are slipping ..

(2) Be (genuinely) an interesting, charismatic, attractive personality that they willingly want to associate with.

Most of the advice in this thread comes from that "bitter" angle, where you fake it and maintain the frame artificially, by "punishing" your partner.

Mystery and all the PUAs are unanimously hated here (not that these guys know any better) but his technique when he was refused sex was to NOT throw a fit. "You don't want it? OK - let's hang out. Let's play chess" ... "Let's go out" ... , and so on.

Getting upset over "not getting sex" will indeed make you be perceived as a 16-year old, especially in the beginning of a relationship.

Take a hard look at yourself, if you can honestly say, you'd want to fvck your own brains out if you were a girl, then you're good to go.

All the best,

Agreed with this and with the other quote. You don't want to turn sex into something where she's doing you a favor. Like: "you were a good boy today, here's some vagina for you. And, if you do a good job being a good boyfriend tomorrow, maybe I'll even throw in a *******."

She should be wanting sex as much or close to as much as you - or even more. At the very least, she should want to please you, and feel good about doing so - even if she doesn't neccesarily want to have as much sex as you. There are ways to 'turn on' a woman - things you can do - but the easiest way is simply to just be a man. Once you start acting like a man, they will want to give themselves to you. They will want you to take them sexually. They will naturally get turned on, and they will enjoy it.

On the flip side of the coin, even if they are enjoying it, every so often their hamster may start spinning and they will accuse you of only wanting sex from them and/or using them just for sex. I had a woman accuse me of using her for sex, even though we'd go out and do relationship type things. So, what I did was just withdraw sex as disengage in other things. It didn't take long for her to eventually try to initiate sex with me - in which case I ended up turning her down and rolling over and going to sleep. She figured out there was a price for her allegations. Guess how many times afterwards she accused me of using her for sex?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear C-quenced,
Why fight it?...she is norming out...It wont get better,just spin a few plates and move on when you find a better one...Chinese Women are good,Caucasian Women have a deeply rooted Atavistic belief that Svex is dirty,goes back before Christianity...Check out the Asian Groceries!

 

[MatureDJ]

I've often wondered that a husband could reply to his wife's failure to supply intimacy with his asking if it's OK for him to hire a professional. I mean, what could she possibly say? The whole motivation for folks getting married is to ensure sexual chastity. If one of the spouses isn't able or doesn't want to perform - including simply doing a handj0b if she's not a paraplegic - the other should get free license to have sex with others. (BTW, I've had girlfriends who weren't in the mood when I was, and they all seemed to realize that Mr. Happy up against their buttocks was not going to sleep without a handj0b.)

 

[Fruitbat]

I had a 6 months spell in marriage with nothing and many 1 to 2 month spells. To be honest I just got used to it. The sex was always high quality, got anything I wanted regardless. Some other girlfriends I have had would go regular but often it was far more work and didn't get the level of filth I wanted (which isn't that filthy but just doing my way). I get bored having a chick grind on top of me for hours. I get bored going down for ages. Ok so when they are new it's not as long but as soon as many of my gf get used to you sex can become a boring process. I find many women selfish in bed not willing to do basic stuff or experiment. Just let my grind my **** on you and you've had sex, that's enough for you. Funny thing is that all women used sx to control, but in my experience that isn't always bad. You can have some very satisfying reward sx! In fact, if the deal is "you do xyz and I will hand you full bedroom power". That's an extremely attractive proposition. Far better than having boring, woman centric sex over and over. Plus, women who have the self control to use sex as a tool rather than having an very strong Active interest in cumming regularly are less likely to stray. The sexual woman is the woman who fvcks around. If you're an Adonis this is fine, if you're standard guy, she can and will fvck studs. It's a womn with a male drive, but she has all the options, unlike us.

As long as you're not being totally exploited, I would prefer a woman to trade me excellent sex for other things she wantS. There's something I find off putting about women who don't. If they just fvckd for fun we as a race would be animals. A woman who uses sex wisely is far better for me. I ain't got the looks or game to bang hotties week in week out but I can and have banged hotties through having other qualities and trading other stuff.

All the best sex I have had has been with hookers or with women treating you for say, a night out, helping them or something. The most boring, joyless sex I have had is with women "in tune with their sexuality"= hours of grinding and rubbing....don't bother with make up, don't let you dominate. Boring, non dirty, sex like in female porn, making love, closeness, embracing. Like in the pics in karma sutra books. To me, it's boring crap. Rant over.

 

[C-quenced]

Plus, women who have the self control to use sex as a tool rather than having an very strong Active interest in cumming regularly are less likely to stray. The sexual woman is the woman who fvcks around. If you're an Adonis this is fine, if you're standard guy, she can and will fvck studs. It's a womn with a male drive, but she has all the options, unlike us.

Where are these mythological women with a male sex drive who are into sex for the sake of pleasure itself? Show me one not in a porn film and I'll show you a winning lotto ticket