Why is trying to actually communicate with women frowned upon here?

[SamTheHobit]

Is communicating with women really that bad? I mean personally I don't do this as I'm scared it might come of as whinny or needy but I'm not sure.

I read quite often that communication is the most important part of a relationship, and this makes sense, how is your partner supposed to know what's going on or whats the problem if you don't tell her?

I'm just curious on your guys thoughts, because it seems it is frowned upon here.

 

[ubercat]

Short answer check the mature male forum for the following:
Emotional variety
Setting boundaries
Maintaining frame

Apart from those situations u can b as chatty as u like. Although I d say always talk less than her.

 

[penkitten]

Of course, communication is key in any relationship.

 

[G_Govan]

I read quite often that communication is the most important part of a relationship, and this makes sense, how is your partner supposed to know what's going on or whats the problem if you don't tell her?

Communication doesn't always involve "speaking" if that was your impression. Most guys actually talk way too much in the mistaken belief that they can "rationalize" with their women through conversation.

 

[G_Govan]

Bingo.

If I had to put a number on it, I'd say that nonverbal communication is 80% of the equation. Guys generally open their mouths too much. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Exactly.

 

[logicallefty]

Communication is important but is worthless by itself.

Two guys are tasked with building a barn. They talk over the architecture for the barn, the color, the layout, the floor plan, etc. They talk about who is going to do the electrical, Who is going to paint, etc. They spend days talking and talking before doing any work. But then when the time comes to build the barn they both get lazy and don't want to actually do the work they discussed. One guy takes long breaks and hope that the other guy does all the work while he is gone. One guy comes up with 1 million excuses why he can't work on the barn because he has other things to do. On top of that they are both on completely different pages about what they decided to do. You guys answer it, Will the barn ever get built it all they do is discuss it, and can't get their facts straight about what they discussed? And don't actually start the work

I know a lot of people who operate just like this but never act on what they talked about. There comes a point in time will you have to quit talking and start doing. Communication by itself is completely worthless

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

You'd have to give some examples as to why you think communication is frowned upon here. Do you mean verbal communication?

Men should communicate their romantic interest primarily through action. Don't talk about how much you like her and how sexy you think she is, take her out and make a move on her. It's okay to throw in a compliment or two while you're taking action, but the more you compliment a woman without taking action the more she's going to think you're too afraid to act on those feelings.

In today's culture men are usually more emotional and feminine than they should be and communicate their feelings verbally too much and through action too little, so that's why you see so many responses telling guys to stop talking and start acting. Communication isn't bad, but too much emotional talk will turn women off pretty quickly.

 

[Poon King]

The entire reason this website exists is because WOMEN don't communicate with men.

That is the irony of this thread.

 

[stevo]

If you feel the need to explode all your emotions in form of communicating then you've already lost frame, you've given over control plus she doesn't care about how you feel.

Communication is effective, at the start of a relationship. You train her by frowning on misbehaviors and rewarding good attitudes, that's communication.

Once in a while you sit and listen to her share her thoughts on XYZ, you memorize what she says so you can use it later to show that you do listen to her, that also is communication.

She talks, You act.

Cavemen didn't have time to sit down and share their feelings with different concubines, neither do you.

 

[logicallefty]

Cavemen didn't have time to sit down and share their feelings with different concubines, neither do you.

Outstanding point. This is the mindset we all need to default to when confused on any issue having to do dynamic between woman and man. We aren't going to go back to living in caves and killing our meat with giant stick, but the caveman dynamic worked.. Modern humans ruined it.

 

[El Payaso]

Communication IS important in a relationship. It is how you communicate that matters. In other words, your frame.

Communicating from a weak frame makes her see you like a needy little b!tch and she won't listen to you.

Communicating from a strong frame will have her at attention and ready to listen. It even makes them extremely wet.

The most important thing is that you should always put the woman in the back of your mind so that her whirlwind behavior doesn't affect your mindset.

Women will often do many things just to get a rise out of you but the best response is often indifference.

Communicating displeasure with her is best done by withdrawing your attention.

It is also important to reward her when she behaves well. Simple things like giving her a bit more attention suffice. That way she feels like she actually has something to work towards and you will find her always trying to be on your best side.

 

[Desdinova]

The best way to reward your woman is with touch. The best way to punish your woman is to withdraw attention. Neither of these require verbal communication.

 

[zonn]

Because this is one of the MGTOW outlets?

 

[ubercat]

Dude y troll at the end of very informative thread - not cool.

 

[Bible_Belt]

A stock market company in the late 90's had an ad campaign with the theme of "what if everyone told the truth all the time?"

So it depends on what you mean by communication. Too much of it destroys mystery. You need just enough of it to build value and cultivate a girl's interest, while still maintaining a healthy amount of mystery.