Why is this girl I just met acting like this?

[SoonToBeDJ]

I have a problem with this girl (lets call her Alisha) I just met on Monday at school. I know she is interested in me because everytime I would see her now and even before I didn't know her she would just smile and give me ec but she gave me kind of a silent treatment today and I am wondering why. Last week after school Alisha and her friend and one of my friends were talking and I just jumped in their convo just so she could recognize me and stuff and I did this 2 days in a row last week (Wednesday and Thursday) Friday I didn't go to school so I didn't see her and Monday like I said I introduced myself in the middle of periods.

Well after school Monday Alisha's friend was reading a letter and I acted like I was reading it and then said jk and Alisha was reading the letter over her friends shoulder and she said she didn't care if I read it and I asked who is it to and who was it from, well it came out that it was from a guy to her but she still didn't care that I read it and I saw an email address too. That subject got tossed and I asked her if she wanted to ditch with me and my friend (Alisha's friends with my friend) 3rd period the next day but the only reason I asked was because my friend was bugging me about it right when I was talking to her and I asked her just so she wouldn't say I didn't invite she said she would tell me the next day, I didn't see her Tuesday or Wednesday and I didn't leave the day we were supposed to so today.

I see her and shes with her friend and a guy, they are looking out of a window in the hall and I ask what are they looking at and no one answered, then I asked if I was missing something and no one answered again and she just giggled a bit and looked at me smiling and didn't say anything and im like oookay?? and I walked away and started talking to my friends who were seperate from the girls. Why the silent treatment and how do I react to this? Also the guy that was with him wasn't the guy from the letter. Why would she do this to me and what do you think I should do about it?

From your friendly Neighborhood Moderator... The Matrix: Reloaded

 

[LikRetsam]

paragraphs. Once your post has em, i will read it.

 

[imnexthere]

First of all space out your future posts in paragraphs or something. This is hard to read.

Secondly, it sounds to me as if you are comming on too strong. She didnt know you until you introduced yourself right? Yet, everytime you see her in passing you immediately come up to her, involve yourself in whatever she's doing, etc. Relax. Don't do that all the time. If you see her in the halls or something just say "Hey Alisha" and thats it. Mix it up alittle. You put the ball in her court. She looks at you sweetly and you seem to be a bit too friendly.

 

[JSH]

Try and split it up into paragraphs to make it slightly more intelligible.

Originally posted by SoonToBeDJ
I have a problem with this girl (lets call her Alisha) I just met on Monday at school.

Not so relevant and if you met her on monday at school, you have known her for max a couple of hours, so its not like its a big deal.

I know she is interested in me because everytime I would see her now and even before I didn't know her she would just smile and give me ec but she gave me kind of a silent treatment today and I am wondering why.

So this is the problem, that before she was ultra responsive and know she wont respond. Well my first thought is that maybe she feels she has given you a signal to move in and you are ignoring it and showing her up in front of her friends. So she has either decided to give up on you or try another tactic to try and win you.

Last week after school Alisha and her friend and one of my friends were talking and I just jumped in their convo just so she could recognize me and stuff and I did this 2 days in a row last week (Wednesday and Thursday) Friday I didn't go to school so I didn't see her and Monday like I said I introduced myself in the middle of periods.

So you jumped in on convos but did not actually speak to this girl for two possible days (4 in total), maybe she jsut thinks you were strange or rude.

Well after school Monday Alisha's friend was reading a letter and I acted like I was reading it and then said jk and Alisha was reading the letter over her friends shoulder and she said she didn't care if I read it and I asked who is it to and who was it from, well it came out that it was from a guy to her but she still didn't care that I read it and I saw an email address too.

Did you ask Alisha permssion to read her friend's letter cos then it would show that firstly you are respectful, not necessarily forceful, with whatever connotations that it has and secondly that you were focusing on Alisha.

That subject got tossed and I asked her if she wanted to ditch with me and my friend (Alisha's friends with my friend) 3rd period the next day but the only reason I asked was because my friend was bugging me about it right when I was talking to her and I asked her just so she wouldn't say I didn't invite she said she would tell me the next day, I didn't see her Tuesday or Wednesday and I didn't leave the day we were supposed to so today I see her and shes with her friend and a guy, they are looking out of a window in the hall and I ask what are they looking at and no one answered, then I asked if I was missing something and no one answered again and she just giggled a bit and looked at me smiling and didn't say anything and im like oookay?? and I walked away and started talking to my friends who were seperate from the girls. Why the silent treatment and how do I react to this? Also the guy that was with him wasn't the guy from the letter. Why would she do this to me and what do you think I should do about it?

Bare long sentence for me to try and split up, so the gist of this is that you gave the impression that you wanted to bunk lessons (is she into that stuff or is she a proper little prim girl), but you only invited her cos she was there. Not treating her specially. Then you did not see her again, ooh.

Then you interrupt her with her friends again doing something (maybe personal discussion) and then are shocked when one of then is not glib enough with a lie to fob you off. Was she laughing at you?

Lotsa questions to answer, why the silent treatment - because you have done something wrong, either not won her over, or pestered her too much.

How do you react - Theoretically what do you want to happen and it depends on the answer to the first question. But in practice, do whatever you want, stop over analysing everything and go with your gut instinct (not the one that says chicken out) but on what you should say and do.

Why are you bothered about the guy from the letter and what does it matter,, she will have friends who are blokes as much as you dislike that.

Maybe she doesnt even realise she is doing this to you, but she has her own agenda. Get yours and stick to it.

Do what you want to do and stop over analysing everything becasue we could analyse everythign for a week and then decide its worthless in which case you have wasted a week or we could analyse everythign for a week and then realsie that you missed the opportunity.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Yeah sorry to everyone about the long ass no sense making thread but by the time I saw the clock I had to go, I should've just waited to post this after I got home.

Originally posted by imnexthere
Secondly, it sounds to me as if you are comming on too strong. She didnt know you until you introduced yourself right? Yet, everytime you see her in passing you immediately come up to her, involve yourself in whatever she's doing, etc. Relax. Don't do that all the time. If you see her in the halls or something just say "Hey Alisha" and thats it. Mix it up alittle. You put the ball in her court. She looks at you sweetly and you seem to be a bit too friendly.

Yeah I knew I was coming on too strong but my friends said I wasn't, I won't listen to them anymore.

Originally posted byJSH
Then you interrupt her with her friends again doing something (maybe personal discussion) and then are shocked when one of then is not glib enough with a lie to fob you off. Was she laughing at you?

Now that I think about it she wasn't laughing at me but more like a "your cute but your messing up."

Do what you want to do and stop over analysing everything becasue we could analyse everythign for a week and then decide its worthless in which case you have wasted a week or we could analyse everythign for a week and then realsie that you missed the opportunity.

Yeah, I know I didn't even realize I was over analyzing the incident. I will try not to show her up infront of her friends but how do I talk to her if she's always with her friends? No more listening to other people, I need to do what I think is best like I should've in the first place, but it isn't my friend's fault I messed it up.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by SoonToBeDJ
Yeah I knew I was coming on too strong but my friends said I wasn't, I won't listen to them anymore.
Now that I think about it she wasn't laughing at me but more like a "your cute but your messing up."
Yeah, I know I didn't even realize I was over analyzing the incident. I will try not to show her up infront of her friends but how do I talk to her if she's always with her friends? No more listening to other people, I need to do what I think is best like I should've in the first place, but it isn't my friend's fault I messed it up. [/B]

Rule number one, do not listen to your friends unless they seem to be successful without a good reason (looks, money) as they probably kniw even less.
Rule number two, do not make assumptions. We do not know if you are coming on too strong or not, but the signals are there, just don't take it too slow or else ull muckk up even worse.
Don't worry, its over, try and improve in the future, everything you analyse is in the past.

Its not so much showing her up in front of her friends, but ull never know exactly whats goin on. Talk to her when her friends are there but also just see when shes on her own (although most gals try very hard not to be on their own). You can always get one of your mates to subconsciously distract the other one (eg remind him that he has to find out about work that shell know).

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

After Alisha gave me the silent treatment that day I thought I had screwed it up and really had no chance anymore so I started moving on. Well the next day of school after 2nd period I am walking to my locker and I see my friends there talking then I look towards my locker and guess what... she's there, it caught me totally off gaurd because I thought I had already f*cked it up.

I get to my locker and she's all cheesing and stuff and she says what's up and I say hi and we talk for a little then we go to class. At first I didn't know if my friends had stopped her or something and I asked them and they said she was on the way to class and she just stopped on her own and asked where I was and she waited for me to get to my locker. I guess she was trying to win me over another way like you said so now I am just going to play it cool with her, talk to her one day and stay kinda distant the next.

The day she gave me the silent treatment I just walked off without saying bye because she was in her own world and I guess that might have made her wait for me at my locker the next day but I am not going to over analyze anymore. She caught me off gaurd though I'll tell you that much.

 

[Raven125]

Don't ditch dude, that's just ridiculous.