Why is online dating even allowed on here?

[captain55]

This forum should be about building someone's self esteem up, and working with what they have. nothing will ruin your self esteem faster than the online date world.
I've been rejected and flaked by chicks who would be lucky to lick my ass in the real world. so many guys here doubting themselves, before I even would take the time to advise them I would ask them are they dating online? if they said yes I would have them delete it before I even proceeded further.

Im not trying to preach.... I'm trying to get other people here from falling into the same trap I did for a long time. Online dating is easy lets face it you can do it while your at work, at home, etc. But it made me anti social because I used it as a crutch instead of a tool. (like it should be)

 

[Driggs]

nothing will ruin your self esteem faster than the online date world.

Then you have weak self esteem. Who cares if they flake or reject you? There are 200,000 more where that came from and if your self esteem is really that poor, that's a personal problem.

 

[Eternal_water]

I don't do the online thing

 

[AAAgent]

I agree with OP but there are outliers. The concept of online dating is great. It's meant to be used for people who are too busy to meet men and women outside of their responsibilities. For busy women, online dating makes sense as they get to meet other busy guys (theoretically). In reality, busy men don't need online dating. Busy men are successful men and are either in high demand or soon to be. They will have women flock to them and find them. THese men have reputations in their social circle and word usually gets around. If you were rich or had a nice car in highschool or college, word would spread around fast until you had mad bitties coming back to talk to you asking for a ride or trying to get closer to you so you would buy them something. Busy women on the other hand are usually unattractive and automatically unappealing to men (not to mention intelligence, pay, and many other factos that make busy women unattractive).

The people who really use online dating are women who are sick and tired of leaving the dating game in mans power and wait for the right man to approach them. They take it into their own hands and pick and choose who they want. It's dating paradise for them except what they don't know is that they're basically picking the leftover trash (no offense guys who use online dating) of the quality men pool. Alpha's go and get what they want, while betas get the leftovers and fight over the scraps.

The men who use online dating are not the ones who are too busy, you're lying to yourself if you say that. If your busy enough to do online dating i'm sure you can spend a few minutes of your day to introduce yourself to a girl you find attractive and get a conversation going, then ask for her number or even insta-date. The guys who use online dating are the ones who are too scared to approach girls in real life, afraid of rejection, too lazy, etc. Online dating is the easy way out for them without having to face the hard rejection of being ignored cold in person, given dirty looks, and all the other harsh realities men go through in order to develop into being men (going after what they want). These are the guys that want to get laid without working for it and ultimately they don't develop the necessary skills like social conversation skills, time management skills, diffusion, etc. They guys want their cake and eat it too, similar to feminist who want men to be men but do everything they can to remove them from power.

If i was a woman, i would not use online dating. I have a girl friend who uses it all the time trying to find the guy of her dreams, and she just won't listen when i tell her she's searching for alpha's when there aren't any to be found in online dating.

 

[user name]

I boosted a lot of self-esteem with on-line dating.

I have no problems getting dates from them. It isn't easy and it takes strategy but it's handy when you get the hang of it. Especially when deeply embroiled in one-itis.

 

[AAAgent]

I use online dating because I enjoy it--not that I need to explain that to anybody. I am not using online sites because because I am "too busy."

I've never needed anyone's approval for using online dating. The "too busy" line is manufactured bullshiat and I would never listen to anybody say, "In order to use online dating, you have to be too busy." NOBODY is too busy for anything. That's a loser's mentality. Everyone has the same time allotments. It's all about PRIORITIES and how a person chooses to spend time in order to achieve the goal.

There is NO perfect place for a man or woman to meet--and there doesn't have to be, either. NOBODY should allow himself or herself to feel bound by society's rules. I Never allow anybody to tell me WHY I should or should not do something. I can date whomever I want and however I want with total disregard for anyone's approval. They don't HAVE to understand or approve my online dating.

For me, that's part of what being confident is all about: a belief in one's OWN desires and a willingness to go about accomplishing those desires in a unique and unconventional way.

I never said approaching was easy and that is the most important part of the learning process. Knowing that it's extremely difficult and having the courage to do it anyway. I also don't think there's a perfect place to date. You can date through whatever means you want. Social circle, cold approach, work, online dating etc. but since SoSuave advocates/preaches men to be the best men they can be, I'd think learning to approach women IRL is the best solution for learning. If you want to take baby steps through online dating great, but i think diving right in forces you to learn quick. You don't die from getting rejected (atleast not in my experience).

Imagine if it was required that all males must formally ask out 20 women to dates & events in order to graduate highschool. Or even better, must go on 20 dates and therefore successfully ask out 20 women. If you knew you had the confidence and the ability to hold a conversation with a random stranger/women IRL after doing it so many years in highschool, would you realistically resort to online dating afterwards? probably not and if you did, i'd imagine it be minimal. Why wait to have 20 text/email exchanges when you can meet the person now, and get to know them now, and screen them now?! If you're under house arrest or have a hard time with transportation, then that's understandable, but many of us don't have this problem.

To be clear, i'm not telling anyone here to do anything, i'm voicing my opinion as to why online dating is just a shelter/bubble for men who are too afraid to step out and face the harsh reality and that you need to work to get something you really want. There should be a risk/reward for any task you set out to complete but when the rewards outweigh the risks, there's always something fishy (in this scenario Online Dating).

We're advocating for the community to strive to become the best man they can be, ultimately a DJ. Not a person that is too afraid to ask out a woman face to face but can send 100's of women an email to pique their interest. Once again, if you find success through online dating, great. I guarantee that you'll develop more skills that will help you succeed in life if you approach them in person.

 

[The Duke]

This forum should be about building someone's self esteem up, and working with what they have. nothing will ruin your self esteem faster than the online date world.
I've been rejected and flaked by chicks who would be lucky to lick my ass in the real world. so many guys here doubting themselves, before I even would take the time to advise them I would ask them are they dating online? if they said yes I would have them delete it before I even proceeded further.

Im not trying to preach.... I'm trying to get other people here from falling into the same trap I did for a long time. Online dating is easy lets face it you can do it while your at work, at home, etc. But it made me anti social because I used it as a crutch instead of a tool. (like it should be)

Jeezus you stink of low self esteem son. Pull your man teetz off the floor and do somthing about it. Face your own issues and improve yourself. Thats what this place is about.

 

[Big Nuts]

Online dating is for attractive men. You must be a 7+...anything lower and it's war pigs or nothing! If you're short, you're also at a disadvantage, women are just as judgmental as men. Just hunt shorter women.

Statistically, the average woman online is 1.5 inches taller than the general female population, and the men are 1.5 inches shorter than general male pop.....so it's a wild goose chase for tall women and short men....hence, the difficulty for both groups.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I was on a date last night... I actually like the girl more than the average woman (she's hot and we both have the same strange sense of humor). So, Im going to keep her around a while. But I met her on POF. I spend a lot of time messaging "new users" because they're the easiest to me. That's where i found her.

I messaged her (actually it was the same day Naughty posted his last opener because I just decided to test it out and she was one of the girls who responded).

She said along the lines of: "I'm not sure you're my type, and you seem a little weird, but nobody on here seems to have a personality and you defintely do, so hi."

And I took it from there.

She closed her profile the next day saying it was too overwhelming the amount of "douchebags" and "desperate boys" she was dealing with.

Anyway... On a date last night....

Me: So you've never done this before? (met someone from online)
Her: Nope.... I've met all my boyfriends in bars....




...

let that sink in ....


I think that's worse than if she'd met all her boyfriends online lol....


She was still fun though, and I'm defintely fvcking her tomorrow....


-------


As far as the OP.

I don't really endorse online dating for a guy just getting into all this stuff who's in need of confidence and new frames.

But this board isn't just for people just starting out...

 

[GS750]

Everyone has their opinion on online dating. I think the free sites are a time waster while the paid sites have some more quality people. But I agree, it should be used as a tool. I think it does have its merits for a guy who's a little more on the reserved side. It gets you used to rejection, flakes, and general female B.S. Some people says its depressing and hurts self esteem. I think it helps give you thicker skin, you just have to remember to not take it too seriously.

 

[HumbleNinja]

I was on a date last night... I actually like the girl more than the average woman (she's hot and we both have the same strange sense of humor). So, Im going to keep her around a while. But I met her on POF. I spend a lot of time messaging "new users" because they're the easiest to me. That's where i found her.

I messaged her (actually it was the same day Naughty posted his last opener because I just decided to test it out and she was one of the girls who responded).

She said along the lines of: "I'm not sure you're my type, and you seem a little weird, but nobody on here seems to have a personality and you defintely do, so hi."

And I took it from there.

She closed her profile the next day saying it was too overwhelming the amount of "douchebags" and "desperate boys" she was dealing with.

Anyway... On a date last night....

Me: So you've never done this before? (met someone from online)
Her: Nope.... I've met all my boyfriends in bars....




...

let that sink in ....


I think that's worse than if she'd met all her boyfriends online lol....


She was still fun though, and I'm defintely fvcking her tomorrow....


-------


As far as the OP.

I don't really endorse online dating for a guy just getting into all this stuff who's in need of confidence and new frames.

But this board isn't just for people just starting out...

Hope you changed it a bit or I didn't send her the same one. I've changed what I've been sending so not sure if it's an older one you're using. lol. I spammed out half NY. (Now bored to where if I email any I say "what's up?") Got another one who looks pretty damn good too. Most theres who email first are nasty looking so I just delete them.

Hopefully the chick you spammed never got mine (if the same thing) or just deleted me. PM me which one you're using. I may have to change things up. It's neither here nor there though at this point as I saw she deleted her account.. lol

Not really on there much now as I've got two 24 YO.s been talking to for like two weeks now. Met up with one. Going to see her again next week. She wants to get smashed BAD as in REALLY bad.

The other one I'm working on loves my sext talk too. I start with talking about kissing and or cuddling after normal short BS for a few days then go from there. The sht I've talked about with these chicks has them going BERSERK.

My mind goes insane with the sex talk ideas after I get them hooked. The sht I've texted them back and forth is friggin NUTS to the point where I'm thinking..should I really send this sht?? lmao

 

[Solomon]

Real deal

Online dating should be used as a tool to supplement the women you meet in real life

I have used online dating and also approached women IRL. I think online dating if you know how to present yourself or are good looking you will clean up very well. I have a few good looking buddies who do very well. But what if you're not that good looking? or slightly overweight such as myself? I think it's been established here and even guys like Espi and Buk would agree that whether your out of shape gaming IRL or online will be hard. If you're 40 and under you should be doing approaches and then supplement online dating.

Online dating is for attractive men. You must be a 7+...anything lower and it's war pigs or nothing! If you're short, you're also at a disadvantage, women are just as judgmental as men. Just hunt shorter women.

Statistically, the average woman online is 1.5 inches taller than the general female population, and the men are 1.5 inches shorter than general male pop.....so it's a wild goose chase for tall women and short men....hence, the difficulty for both groups.

I don't think height matters as much as people on here try to make it seem. On my profiles I would list myself as 6'2 (I'm really 5'11 1/2) and while some women have commented how "tall" I am in person I don't think it has been the it factor, women can't tell the difference

I agree with OP but there are outliers. The concept of online dating is great. It's meant to be used for people who are too busy to meet men and women outside of their responsibilities. For busy women, online dating makes sense as they get to meet other busy guys (theoretically). In reality, busy men don't need online dating. Busy men are successful men and are either in high demand or soon to be. They will have women flock to them and find them. THese men have reputations in their social circle and word usually gets around. If you were rich or had a nice car in highschool or college, word would spread around fast until you had mad bitties coming back to talk to you asking for a ride or trying to get closer to you so you would buy them something. Busy women on the other hand are usually unattractive and automatically unappealing to men (not to mention intelligence, pay, and many other factos that make busy women unattractive).

The people who really use online dating are women who are sick and tired of leaving the dating game in mans power and wait for the right man to approach them. They take it into their own hands and pick and choose who they want. It's dating paradise for them except what they don't know is that they're basically picking the leftover trash (no offense guys who use online dating) of the quality men pool. Alpha's go and get what they want, while betas get the leftovers and fight over the scraps.

The men who use online dating are not the ones who are too busy, you're lying to yourself if you say that. If your busy enough to do online dating i'm sure you can spend a few minutes of your day to introduce yourself to a girl you find attractive and get a conversation going, then ask for her number or even insta-date. The guys who use online dating are the ones who are too scared to approach girls in real life, afraid of rejection, too lazy, etc. Online dating is the easy way out for them without having to face the hard rejection of being ignored cold in person, given dirty looks, and all the other harsh realities men go through in order to develop into being men (going after what they want). These are the guys that want to get laid without working for it and ultimately they don't develop the necessary skills like social conversation skills, time management skills, diffusion, etc. They guys want their cake and eat it too, similar to feminist who want men to be men but do everything they can to remove them from power.

If i was a woman, i would not use online dating. I have a girl friend who uses it all the time trying to find the guy of her dreams, and she just won't listen when i tell her she's searching for alpha's when there aren't any to be found in online dating.

Golden Post

I had a few people comment on why I resort to online dating. The truth is I want easy ass. I'm lazy. I will say though that my most frustrating and bizarre experiences with dating has been with women whom I met thru online dating. The truth is most of these bizarre situations happened with dealing with bottom shelf/trashy women that I had no business dealing with, nor that I would approach IRL. I have women turn me down online or diss me, who would gladly give me a rimjob in the middle of a bar had I approached them in person. I don't live in a big town and I use to go out a lot. I noticed most of the women in my area who resorted to online dating where

1. The undesirables--Overweight, single moms, homely looking women etc. These chicks would go out with their girlfriends and they would be the weakest link. Men would not pay attention to them. But online it's different that girl who was not noticed at a bar on POF/OK Cupid she is a 10. While online has skewed these women sense of worth deep down they know the men are not top tier men

2. Bottom Shelf women-- women who have burned up their social circles, are socially awkward, STD's (very common especially herpes) etc, the only way you would know of course is by dealing with them.

Also I use to go out with a guy, the guy was great at online dating. He would get numbers, date's, and even fucc buddies/hot girlfriends thru online dating. The guy though wasn't a KJ and also loved approaching, but when the guy got rejected a few times IRL he would literally not go out for months upon months but he would do online dating. I have no problem with guys having a niche but it irked me how the guy would let rejection sting him so hard that he would have to take 6 months of from meeting women. I think a lot of guys on sosuave who use online dating don't approach women in real life, and it's very evident by the posts especially the last 3 years here. If you have problems talking or dealing with women IRL you will be able to hide it for a bit online but eventually that will come out. If you're under 40 you should be doing approaches and use online to supplement your game

p.s. There are "Alphas" online these guys are in the top 20% banging Multiple NEW chicks (yes multiple) chicks weekly, going on dates daily, getting 10+ messages a day, having women pay for them or fly them out etc.

These guys are rare but they exist

 

[Scormus]

I do agree that 99% of women on match.com require a man to be taller; why would that stop you from at least trying? If you're 5'8", then limit your search criteria to chicks who are no taller than 5'6"

I am 5'9", list myself at 5'11 and turn up 5'11 on dates in lifts. I have had a date with a girl who was 6 foot, a couple with girls who are 5'10, and one who is 5'9. I saw two of them again, and slept with one. Actually I saw two other tall ones, one was 6'1 and another 5'10, but only the first four I'd say were 7's-8's, the other two were 5-6 at best.

But for these four tall good looking women I found online, there were easily 300 other tall good looking women who read deleted my message.

Moral of the story: its a lot of work to date taller women, but not impossible. It happens to be what I am attracted to.

 

[captain55]

Attractive, tall men ALWAYS carry the advantage, regardless of the medium.

Tall, attractive guy=more successful online.
Tall, attractive guy=more successful in clubs.

When you go online to quality sites match.com, you can filter your search by height.

I do agree that 99% of women on match.com require a man to be taller; why would that stop you from at least trying? If you're 5'8", then limit your search criteria to chicks who are no taller than 5'6".

Whatever excuse or statistic you use for not going online, the SAME excuse will haunt you "in the real world."

most women consider 5'10 the "standard" and a respectable height, even though in actuality 5'9-5'11 is average height. Of course there are stuck up sluts who wont even date a dude under 6 feet but for the most part 5'10 is what I have heard from women IRL

 

[pdx1138]

Then you have weak self esteem. Who cares if they flake or reject you? There are 200,000 more where that came from and if your self esteem is really that poor, that's a personal problem.

agreed.

I think it actually helps.

I remember being affected by that early on, then not after online dating for a few months.

You learn to not give a $hit....and thats good.

It also makes cold approach rejections easier to deal with.

In my experience online dating has been a great stepping stone to dealing with
cold approaching and rejection.

 

[GS750]

agreed.

I think it actually helps.

I remember being affected by that early on, then not after online dating for a few months.

You learn to not give a $hit....and thats good.

It also makes cold approach rejections easier to deal with.

In my experience online dating has been a great stepping stone to dealing with
cold approaching and rejection.

This has been my experience as well. Online got me used to rejections, flakes, etc. It helped me a lot.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Didn't notice this before....

Hope you changed it a bit or I didn't send her the same one. I've changed what I've been sending so not sure if it's an older one you're using. lol. I spammed out half NY. (Now bored to where if I email any I say "what's up?") Got another one who looks pretty damn good too. Most theres who email first are nasty looking so I just delete them.

Hopefully the chick you spammed never got mine (if the same thing) or just deleted me. PM me which one you're using. I may have to change things up. It's neither here nor there though at this point as I saw she deleted her account.. lol

Not really on there much now as I've got two 24 YO.s been talking to for like two weeks now. Met up with one. Going to see her again next week. She wants to get smashed BAD as in REALLY bad.

The other one I'm working on loves my sext talk too. I start with talking about kissing and or cuddling after normal short BS for a few days then go from there. The sht I've talked about with these chicks has them going BERSERK.

My mind goes insane with the sex talk ideas after I get them hooked. The sht I've texted them back and forth is friggin NUTS to the point where I'm thinking..should I really send this sht?? lmao

I don't remember exactly what I said (and since she deleted her account - I can't tell), but I'm sure I changed it around a bit. It was a play on this one: "Please pardon my Introduction/Come on/Rejection message but..you're smiling too much and doing too many things in your pics to end up with an unsmiling guy like me taking selfies in his bathroom like a certified idiot...It would never work out between us..lol" But i changed it to each woman based on what she was doing in her pics.

I mostly game within the Philadelphia, DC (although rare), to Baltimore triangle area. So unless you're spamming out that far away - I don't think it'll matter...

Also note: other boards have discovered that - you can only send 40ish new messages a day on POF. After that - it'll show in your sent folder - but will not appear in the woman's inbox. So, keep that in mind when spamming.


And sex talk is where all the magic happens. I've turned mildly interested women into raving lunatics of women that wanted my d!ck in them as soon as they walk in the door. All it takes is them being attracted to you (you don't have to be the hottest) and the gift of gab does all the rest.

Sounds like you're doing well with that too. Have fun with the youngins

 

[HumbleNinja]

Didn't notice this before....



I don't remember exactly what I said (and since she deleted her account - I can't tell), but I'm sure I changed it around a bit. It was a play on this one: "Please pardon my Introduction/Come on/Rejection message but..you're smiling too much and doing too many things in your pics to end up with an unsmiling guy like me taking selfies in his bathroom like a certified idiot...It would never work out between us..lol" But i changed it to each woman based on what she was doing in her pics.

I mostly game within the Philadelphia, DC (although rare), to Baltimore triangle area. So unless you're spamming out that far away - I don't think it'll matter...

Also note: other boards have discovered that - you can only send 40ish new messages a day on POF. After that - it'll show in your sent folder - but will not appear in the woman's inbox. So, keep that in mind when spamming.


And sex talk is where all the magic happens. I've turned mildly interested women into raving lunatics of women that wanted my d!ck in them as soon as they walk in the door. All it takes is them being attracted to you (you don't have to be the hottest) and the gift of gab does all the rest.

Sounds like you're doing well with that too. Have fun with the youngins

Tailed off on the POF for a little bit now. Got bored of it especially since I've got two main chicks I'm talking to and one other.

Going out this Friday again with the first one who in pics is a 9. IRL a 7 due to acne. Body is ridiculous...

Other 24 Y.O. Keeps in touch regularly as well and wants me to come visit her. She seems pretty normal and cool...so far. Nice body in pics. Got several to my phone (no nvdes)

The third is a little whacky and sounds at times insecure. Invited me out last Sat to meet for drinks but I was working. She said something in text like: "Come out tonight for a few drinks. If you can't stand me then you never have to see me again." Got several pics of her to my phone too. She seems pretty good looking with a nice petite frame. But that statement kindof reeked of insecurity in that telling me I'm not going to like her or some sht is like get real...We haven't even MET yet! You may not like me, I may not like you we may not like each other..Who gives a sht?! lol

As for the spamming. I'm in the Tri-State area...Thought you were in NY. No problem. Only spammed NY, NJ, CT.

Also I don't know who came up with it..Forgot...Perhaps a poster here or from BB.com. but I think Solomon knows. Set up and run Macros on the "meet me now" and set it so it runs overnight. It'll click "yes" to every chick in your area. (Don't do it for too long lol) I didn't do that but at times instead of spamming though I didn't setup and run that macros thing I did sit there quickly hitting "yes" in the meet me now and in the two weeks I was spamming on there and clicking "yes" on the "meet me now" I'd gotten 316 visitors to my profile. Several then sent first messages..A lot were hideous so I just deleted their messages but a few I kept talking to. (I think it also puts your profile up on the main page more in searches so more better looking chicks will view you as they see you more often than the rest of the dudes.)

The macros thing though I've heard will do the work for you without even needing to spam. You never know how many better looking chicks will reply to that stupid chit and you don't have to do anything but run macros. Great tip for whoever thought of it.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Tailed off on the POF for a little bit now. Got bored of it especially since I've got two main chicks I'm talking to and one other.

Going out this Friday again with the first one who in pics is a 9. IRL a 7 due to acne. Body is ridiculous...

Other 24 Y.O. Keeps in touch regularly as well and wants me to come visit her. She seems pretty normal and cool...so far. Nice body in pics. Got several to my phone (no nvdes)

The third is a little whacky and sounds at times insecure. Invited me out last Sat to meet for drinks but I was working. She said something in text like: "Come out tonight for a few drinks. If you can't stand me then you never have to see me again." Got several pics of her to my phone too. She seems pretty good looking with a nice petite frame. But that statement kindof reeked of insecurity in that telling me I'm not going to like her or some sht is like get real...We haven't even MET yet! You may not like me, I may not like you we may not like each other..Who gives a sht?! lol

As for the spamming. I'm in the Tri-State area...Thought you were in NY. No problem. Only spammed NY, NJ, CT.

Also I don't know who came up with it..Forgot...Perhaps a poster here or from BB.com. but I think Solomon knows. Set up and run Macros on the "meet me now" and set it so it runs overnight. It'll click "yes" to every chick in your area. (Don't do it for too long lol) I didn't do that but at times instead of spamming though I didn't setup and run that macros thing I did sit there quickly hitting "yes" in the meet me now and in the two weeks I was spamming on there and clicking "yes" on the "meet me now" I'd gotten 316 visitors to my profile. Several then sent first messages..A lot were hideous so I just deleted their messages but a few I kept talking to. (I think it also puts your profile up on the main page more in searches so more better looking chicks will view you as they see you more often than the rest of the dudes.)

The macros thing though I've heard will do the work for you without even needing to spam. You never know how many better looking chicks will reply to that stupid chit and you don't have to do anything but run macros. Great tip for whoever thought of it.

I would like to take credit for the macros things lol... Although, I'm sure I wasn't the first person to think of it. I used it with more efficiency on okc though.

http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread....r-profile-(for-guys-who-just-want-ONS-and-sex)

I detail how you can use it on OKC there. You don't need to set up a macro. Just download an autoclicker (the one i found was free and designed for a game called runescape but it works just the same.)

The problem with doing it on POF (for me) - is - I'm still a fvcking softy when it comes to ugly women. Not that I want to fvck them or anything, but just that I feel sorry for them (seriously). And the auto-clicker will say yes to ugly women, fat women, old women, all women. So when I get up in the morning and have like 25 messages in my inbox from using this method and 20 of them are from women who fall into one of those categories - I don't feel very good about it. Others consider that less of an issue than I do though...