Why is keeping cool Alpha?

[Boxer]

It's often told on here that if a guy hits on your date/girlfriend/wife and tries to flirt with her that getting mad is beta behavior. Ignoring it is the better course of action. My question is why? Because I understand why making a scene makes you look insecure but also ignoring it kind of makes it look like you will let any guy walk all over you and do what ever he wants to your girl. There has to be a better way that shows you won't stand for other guys gaming your girl.

 

[rocket87]

Obviously getting mad is non-alpha behavior.

Of course there's a better way.. There's a bunch of ways..

Personally, I introduce myself to the guy and expose the fu$k out of him hahah, just take the Fu$k over. Been there done that! Many times!

It's not that hard BUT you have to adopt the actual d!ck mentality since you can't really be in pretend-mode - FIRST OFF, you shake his hand and ask his name. Toss your hand out wide and open like a MAN. If he refuses to shake, he'll just look like a complete idiot (This has never happened to me). Instantly "friend" him. Call him buddy and pal interchangeably. Haha. Ask him his life story. Ask where he works. Straight up ask him how much he makes. What he does for fun. Ask him what the craziest sh!t he's ever done in his life is. Ask where his date is at? Interrupt him, tell him cooler sh!t you've done. Get his business card, tell him you'll contact him if you ever need him to do work for you (half these retards won't have a business card LOL). Vice versa, give him your biz card and tell him let me know if you need this done, I do the best work in town. Start talking about other girls in the bar/restaurant/club/wherever you are and point them out to him saying "You should open that set over there, they are just waiting for a confident, attractive guy like you to approach them" (He will ask wtf is a set?) and if he says no, own his world even more and ask him wtf he's waiting for - if he says yes, tell him you'll back him up in a minute and to hurry over there before it's too late.

You just gotta own the poor guy.

Catch my drift? The upper hand is a nice thing to have. I got kinda excited there, haha, reminded me of the last time I had to do this and the two girls (LTR gf and her friend) were just like "holy sh!t" after I did my schpeal and then sat down next to the gf - It happened as I was walking into the bar to meet them, and he was standing there talking to my woman. Lol. Little b!tch.

 

[st_99]

I would agree that "calmness" is alpha. Getting excited and seemingly out of control is definitely beta.

So however you choose to deal with it, the alpha way would probably fall somewhere in the cool calm and collected area. Both the beta and the alpha can choose not to fight or make a big deal of it, but the non fighting beta would get nervous and insecure about it. Thats kind of how I see it, this isn't really something that you have to deal with though as you get older, mature people typically don't act like morons.

 

[bigneil]

The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy. To a point, you must learn to display apathy during her bad behavior.

How is not caring Alpha? Because the Alpha male has so many other women at his disposal he would welcome his woman pushing him away. He's doing her a favor by staying with her, he is the prize. He knows he is the best so he can't become jealous of anyone.

That said, if a woman is rubbing another guy in your face, call her on her bad behavior. They like being put in their place when they know they deserve it (often this happens in hindsight and they later admit it).

Just do it without overreacting or getting emotional. Let them know they can lose you.

Also note: if someone disrespects the Alpha male he gets in their face and they normally back down.

 

[terran2k]

you can't be non-reactive, people will walk all over your a$$.
it is if they disrespect you, you confront them, because you're not intimidated by them.
it's when you're afraid of their reaction, thats when you act passive even though you're boiling inside.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. To a point, you must learn to display indifference during her bad behavior.

Fixed.

Cosign everything else though.

 

[Boxer]

Wow solid advice guys. Like normal this forum teaches me something I can apply with confidence.


I love you guys (no homo.... okay maybe just a little bit)

 

[The College Jock]

Double Entry ------

 

[The College Jock]

Screw what all these pseudo-alpha commentators have to say on the board.

Dude, if you're feeling a way, make him know that. Just know that over-doing it will make you look BETA. Be careful with the alpha vs. beta paradox, as if you're not careful, your kindness/calmness can be taken for weakness.

Bad boys don't keep their cool as you're suggesting, they exact a d!ckheaded response that can inflame a possible fight/verbal sparring match that their girlfriends love them for.

Lold, go to Spring Break with your hottie gf, and hordes of duechebags try to get one over you and you think being ''calm'' is alpha? NO.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

True alphas (not always a good thing) don't take shti from anyone and are quick to confront the slightest effrontery action. Most people can't get away with this behavior because they're not rich enough to get a good lawyer to bail them out of jail, or they're not built enough or crazy enough to mess up anyone who steps up to them. This is alpha behavior, but it's not a very effective way to act if you want to WIN AT LIFE.

Since this forum is mostly about becoming the prize and winning at life, I'd say that the MODERN alpha behavior is to remain calm when it's most advantageous to you, and to get fired up when the situation calls for it.

Personally, I'll apologize if necessary to avoid a fight because I've seen enough people get scarred for life and get permanent criminal records over REALLY STUPID STUFF. Modern alpha behavior is more about being SMART and ACUTELY AGGRESSIVE, knowing when you can and can not be aggressive, and tempering your aggression as required, rather than flipping an ON/OFF switch of rage.

For instance, a direct insult by a near stranger should be returned with a dismissive comment that belittles their attempt, rather than the classic "yo, let's take it outside if that's how you want to roll, btich."

Both are effective, but only one results in violence if ABSOLUTELY necessary, as is the goal with any secure man who doesn't get off on violence.

 

[bigneil]

Good points Deadly.

As I noted, the classic Alpha Male gets in the face of anyone who disrespects them.

Politically incorrect, but true.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Keeping cool does not necessarily equal alpha.

NOT panicking does. Not panicking manifests itself as keeping cool. Just because someone pisses you off and you slug him does not mean you lost your cool. Disrespect and/or trespasses must be answered.

 

[Powerlifter]

The way I look at it is if I am out on a date with by babe and a dude starts hiting on her and shes loving it and actin' all in love with the dude I walk but the big differences come if she is acting like a lady trying politely to tell the dude to f*ck off and he doesn't then that dude has me to contend with.

Beta or alpha don't play in my mindset but common sense in respecting my babe as well as me when I am present in the mix do though.

Powerlifter.

 

[LoneWolf]

errm, how about just not dating girls like that? so many guys are with girls who flirt with randoms or your friends whatever. try get the girls that really do love you and if a guy hits on them, they actually brush them off or even tell them they're in a relationship. i've had girls say that to me even sometimes when i tried hitting on them. i remember me and this girl were having an awesome conversation on the bus and i was getting good vibes. when i asked for her number she told me she had a boyfriend and i left it at that.

get a good woman rather than putting up with b1tches who like flirting. just the fact that they do flirt with guys means they don't love you enough or respect you. if you have to TELL them to stop flirting then it's probably gonna happen again.

 

[Trump]

Personally, I introduce myself to the guy and expose the fu$k out of him

You just gotta own the poor guy.

Best advice.

 

[zekko]

errm, how about just not dating girls like that? so many guys are with girls who flirt with randoms or your friends whatever. try get the girls that really do love you and if a guy hits on them, they actually brush them off or even tell them they're in a relationship.

That's a good point, actually. I know a lot of guys who are even married to girls like this. These girls are very, very flirty and familiar with the other guys around them. I would consider that disrespectful if it was my girl.

On the other hand, they teach you here to openly flirt with other girls in front of your girlfriend and make her jealous, so you get what you give usually.

Oh, and I agree that keeping cool is alpha in the modern world, unless there is some disrespect involved.
On the other hand, in nature if you mess with the alpha's females, you'll get your head ripped off.

 

[PDubb75]

Oh, and I agree that keeping cool is alpha in the modern world, unless there is some disrespect involved.
On the other hand, in nature if you mess with the alpha's females, you'll get your head ripped off.

That's exactly it. Animals will fight to the death over the attention of a female. Only the winners are considered alpha. That's why "teaching someone a lesson" is the instinctual response. That's common throughout nearly every species.

The difference is, we have the ability to solve it in other ways. In turn, the ability to tame that instinct in itself can make you more "alpha". But taming it too much results in non-action, which comes off too passive and "beta".

I loved rocket's post. I don't know if I would spend THAT much time on the dude, but the idea is solid.

However, that wouldn't be my first action. I would personally sit back and watch how she responded to it. Like some of you said, don't date girls "like that". This would be a good test to know if she is "like that" and if she respects you. If she tries to brush him off and he's persistent, that's when I would interfere.

 

[rocket87]

I loved rocket's post. I don't know if I would spend THAT much time on the dude, but the idea is solid.

Generally after the first 1-2 questions, they realize you're serious sh!t and back off; that's if the handshake/interruption/introduction wasn't enough.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

When your silence inspires more fear than any spoken threat, that's when you're an Alpha.