BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,777
- Reaction score
- 6,799
- Age
- 55
Advice from the old lady:
This is a complex topic. If men are after sexual conquest and that's it? Then the novelty is exciting but is going to wear off quickly and on to the next. However over time as men get more & more notch counts the sex for sex becomes more meaningless and the girls become interchangable. If she's pretty enough and the guy is horny enough; if you like the excitement and challenge of the initial conquest, then for awhile they playboy lifestyle might do a man just fine. For a while.
Lots of women cannot wrap their mind around the above. They think they are special because they are pretty, because they have a pvssy; they do not realize that so does every other attractive girl, and that for desirable men sex is very easy to get. So too many women focus solely on looks, but not realizing looks are not what keeps a man's interest. These girls lose to women who have more to offer than just looks....but also happen to be attractive.
Eventually the human need for companionship shows up. Once a man has had enough meaningless sex to feel empty inside once his balls are empty, and he's "over it" alteady then he starts wondering "Is that it?"
It is well documented that promiscuity damages the ability to emotionally bond in both genders, not just in women. And porn creates unrealistic expectations as well. No wonder men are unhappy. The wrong thing is being sought.
Sexuality is a way to bond emotionally, spiritually and physically with the lover. If you strip that down to only the physical act of sex itself; devoid of emotional connection & spiritual experience? You are having McDonald's fast food sex instead of Michelin starred incredible experience sex. And you'll feel the lack in that area. You'll be dissatisfied.
Esther Perel is a well known expert in this area. Sexual desire is in conflict with the familiarity of long term relationships and companionship. Jordan Peterson has also discussed this in his writings and classes.
You need a long term partner who remains physically appealing, and who is mysterious and unpredictable enough to keep things interesting. Someone who can be a "worthy adversary" to quote Peterson. Someone who will check you or give you a little sass once in a while. This allows the space for attraction to simmer in the absence of the lover, and it is imperative for maintaining desire over time. This also fosters emotional bonding but that cannot be expected immediately in a new interaction.
I have not had the experience of boredom in my relationships. That includes a 20 year marriage. Sexual desire is the #1 thing I choose a man for. And I want the man to have strong sexual desire for me. That's the glue in a quality LTR or marriage. I have never had a dead bedroom relationship, I think people who do are not or did not pick a partner they want to fvck.
There's more to it than that, obviously. But that foundation is required for desire to remain over time.
This is a complex topic. If men are after sexual conquest and that's it? Then the novelty is exciting but is going to wear off quickly and on to the next. However over time as men get more & more notch counts the sex for sex becomes more meaningless and the girls become interchangable. If she's pretty enough and the guy is horny enough; if you like the excitement and challenge of the initial conquest, then for awhile they playboy lifestyle might do a man just fine. For a while.
Lots of women cannot wrap their mind around the above. They think they are special because they are pretty, because they have a pvssy; they do not realize that so does every other attractive girl, and that for desirable men sex is very easy to get. So too many women focus solely on looks, but not realizing looks are not what keeps a man's interest. These girls lose to women who have more to offer than just looks....but also happen to be attractive.
Eventually the human need for companionship shows up. Once a man has had enough meaningless sex to feel empty inside once his balls are empty, and he's "over it" alteady then he starts wondering "Is that it?"
It is well documented that promiscuity damages the ability to emotionally bond in both genders, not just in women. And porn creates unrealistic expectations as well. No wonder men are unhappy. The wrong thing is being sought.
Sexuality is a way to bond emotionally, spiritually and physically with the lover. If you strip that down to only the physical act of sex itself; devoid of emotional connection & spiritual experience? You are having McDonald's fast food sex instead of Michelin starred incredible experience sex. And you'll feel the lack in that area. You'll be dissatisfied.
Esther Perel is a well known expert in this area. Sexual desire is in conflict with the familiarity of long term relationships and companionship. Jordan Peterson has also discussed this in his writings and classes.
You need a long term partner who remains physically appealing, and who is mysterious and unpredictable enough to keep things interesting. Someone who can be a "worthy adversary" to quote Peterson. Someone who will check you or give you a little sass once in a while. This allows the space for attraction to simmer in the absence of the lover, and it is imperative for maintaining desire over time. This also fosters emotional bonding but that cannot be expected immediately in a new interaction.
I have not had the experience of boredom in my relationships. That includes a 20 year marriage. Sexual desire is the #1 thing I choose a man for. And I want the man to have strong sexual desire for me. That's the glue in a quality LTR or marriage. I have never had a dead bedroom relationship, I think people who do are not or did not pick a partner they want to fvck.
There's more to it than that, obviously. But that foundation is required for desire to remain over time.