I wish I can just let you hop on in my old 98 Impreza, get some starbucks, and go to this place where I always drive at on my day off past midnight. The place is amazing. It's a two lane road in the middle of nowhere full of trees and mountains. Driving in the dark lets you see only what the car's headlights can reach. It's completely quiet except for the sound of the engine. Not much of a straight line, lots of turns. I'm basically shifting every 3 to 5 seconds going 50 to 70 miles per hour. It's scary sometimes because you're out there alone, no cars at all and sometimes I'm afraid the car would just die on me. I'd remember sometimes all the scariest movies I've ever watched and for a second I thought I just saw someone behind the trees. There's the part where I have to make a U turn which means I have to slow down and I just panic and as soon as I make the turn I step on it right away all scared. I got out one time and peed. I swear I'll never do that again. No one attacked me or anything but all the hair in my body was standing up from all the sound I was hearing. The wind blowing and the leaves moving. This is one of the many reasons I love living. I just had to share it with you because it seems to me that you believe life is boring. It's all in your perspective. What's a thrill for me may not be a thrill for you.
Anyways about having friends. I believe it's one of the greatest thing out there if you can find ones that are just absolutely cool, honest, and nice, down, good people that just love being around you that you love being around with. I don't have a lot of friends but I've had lots before when I used to skateboard a lot. I have 1 right now that is a coworker of mine that I hang out with at Barnes and Noble and play basketball with at the park a lot. It's a beautiful thing to have a friend like him.
I've been a loner all my life almost and the only reason was I'm not happy with many things in my life, my situation which I always look at negatively that I used as an excuse not to make friends. Now I'm learning each day how to enjoy and love life with or without friends. When I found out about this site and learned that I can change and that I don't have to live the life that I used to have that's when everything changed for me. The skinny body I used to have, the female mentality that I used to have, the blaming, and whining, and complaining about my life all changed for the better when I learned that everything is in my control and change if I wanted to. The grades that I was getting. The Fs and the Cs, my salary. I thought everyone was smarter than me and I was going to be stupid for the rest of my life. It turns out that the kid next to me was just studying more than I was and was more discipline than I was and I was not fixed as in I was going to be a loser all my life. I can change and I have. I'm very happy.
Hopefully if you read or skimmed somewhere down everything I wrote that I was able to hit the spot. Maybe just a little, but that's just enough. The road to change is one step at a time. :rock:
