Originally posted by DarkZero
hi, i just joined the forum... ive been an active reader here for a while. year or more probably. i have gotten more confident and outgoing, but my one problem is one on one conversation with a girl i'm interested in. how can you guys do it?
You're probably very nervous, or you're overtrying. Stop. Ask her anything. And I mean anything. For instance, you could find out about what had breakfast. Then you can ask her about all the other foods she likes and what she'd love to have. If she didn't eat, ask her why. That should carry into another topic. This could even lead to a lunch/dinner date if timed well.
What she did last weekend; her hobbies; her ambitions and desires; friends; summer; winter; fall; spring; how's her day/week going; what are her plans this evening and upcoming days; music; movies; books; games; parents/family; [insert some recent or upcoming local activity]; weather; sports (ask if she likes any first); idols; drinks; ...
You know how many hours are in those few open-ended topics I just listed? Of course, your relationship isn't going to last long if you just talk like this. You need to create memories together, and talk about new things. Just see where it takes ya.
i mean, i can talk to her initially, but it's not long before i hit the weird silence where we dont have anything to say. i analyze the last thing wetalked about, find nothing... and cant think of a new topic to bring up. what do you do during these moments?
Analyzing is bad. I hope you don't go home and beat yourself up over things said and not said. This is descructive. Remember, if she's interested, she's probably just as nervous as you. You can probably afford a lot of "goof ups" and they'll be overlooked. Either way, once a conversation is over, don't analyze.
As for silence. Learn to make them not ackward. Use it as a chance to make EC and flirt w/ your smile and eyes -- especially on the first date. Good EC! Good EC! Remember it well. Besides, you're guy. Do you really wanna talk? These silences are great, IMO.
Anyway, if she doesn't revive the convo in 20 seconds or so, ask another open-ended question.
i know i can do it... cause if i talk to any girls im not interested in i can talk forevor (well, talk and listen)! it's just the girls i'm interested in. i want to be the funny, outgoing, fun to talk to guy that i am with the regular girls when im talking to those HBs. sorry if this seems AFCish, i just havent found any real good convo stuff to help me yet
Have you ever heard that the harder you try, the deeper you sink? Let her talk, tease her if you find something goofy or funny about her, use kino when possible, and use those eyes man! But "stare." If you can talk and joke around w/ your girl-friends, then why not her?
Anyway, these are merely words. I know how hard it is. You probably have more work to do than learning how to be a good listener.
EDIT: But "share" = Don't "stare"
