Why I won't care

[Beige]

I won't care


- Hi, this is your first dance lesson?
- First salsa lesson but I've learned some modern dancing before.
- Oh, nice, I'm Beige.
- I'm Ann
- Nice to meet you, Ann, do you have a partner?
- No, I don't
- And do you want to have one?
- (laughing) I see I have one now.


Yeah, I just came from my first dance lesson. On the begginning we went into a room, there were some pairs, some single women and some single men (including me). While others were checking out the mirrors I approached the best looking girl and made her my partner. Lesson soon started.

I wasn't that bad, she wasn't that good, so it went great.

Soon it finished, I said "bye" and went home. On the way I began wondering what should I do on the next lesson..


- Be gentle, give her opportunity to change a partner if she wants to - I heard a voice whispering in my head - You don't want to make her uncomfortable by forcing her to dance with you next time.


That was my AFC voice. I used to be gentle in the past, I used to ask a girl for a date in such a way that she could blew me without making it stressfull for her.

F uck you, voice!

Males have to learn how to approach, have to put their balls in front of girls and let them hold a hammer. That is pretty stressfull for us. However nature loves balance. Females don't have to approach but have to deal with situations like those, they have to learn to operate that hammer. That is pretty stressfull for them.

So remember - you're the guy, your job is to approach. She's gal, her job is to handle situations like those. It's all about balance.

Once again, F uck you, voice!. I'm going to approach this girl next week and assume that she still wants to be my partner. If she won't be fine with it - it's her job to get out of it, not mine.

That voice which told me to not look at a girl when I wanted to, to not to approach, to not to approach again.. That voice soon will be dead.

God, I love to be a man.

 

[studmuffin15]

i dunno dude. i see what you're saying, BUT.......

if u do give her the chance to find someone else, but she comes back to u, then u know u really are in! i would say give it a shot and hang back, and see if she gives any indication that she is favoring u.

 

[Beige]

I think I didn't convey the point clearly enough.

That, what made me not condifent lots of times was a fear of making a girl uncomfortable. Instead of having fun I was wondering if I should stop what I'm doing now bc a girl may not like it.

The point is - DJ does what he wants to do. If a girl doesn't like it - it's her job to handle it.

If I want to initiate EC - I will and I don't care if it makes a girl uncomfortable. If I want to dance with her next week - I will and it will be her job to make up some bs to get rid of me.

We have to learn to approach, they have to get deal with approachers. That's balance.

 

[studmuffin15]

o ok, i see what you're saying.

yea, if u alter ur actions out of consideration for not making her feel "uncomfortable", that's totally AFC. here, the "dj" thing to do would be to "take what you want".

but like i said, if you are interested in seeing if she is into you, u may approach it from a different angle. give her a couple of secs to seek you out first. if she does, then you know you're in. if she doesn't, then break out the dj move and go for it anyway.

just my thoughts. good luck man!

 

[Beige]

Well, when you dance with a girl for an hour and a half it's very easy to gauge her IL. Eye contact, distance and other stuff. I don't have to use any big strategies to find out her level of interest.