Why I recommend the Lone Wolf Path over Social Circle Path

[anonymous12345]

Both yes and no to OP. There are good social circles and bad social circles, I've seen both.

In my current city, an academic one, I envy an older friend, a professor, that has a great social circle. Long dinners with excellent conversations, that kind of things. They all do marriages of course, that matches those social circles. I don't know if it's beta men really, I don't own that 80-ish old professor, still trying to figure him out. That's why I talk to him, he's senior to me.

Other artist-ish cliques have also sophisticated conversations at cafés. Say five people gently listens on one person talking. I'm impressed.

But yeah, I know the toxic stuff too, and that's why I'm a lone wolf as well. I simply don't find a clique/circle that matches me.

I find my gym kinda ok in that sense. Men minding their own business, working on themselves, maybe some kind of mutual respect.

 

[SW15]

I did frequent lone wolf approaches in bars back in the day. The advantage was lone wolf women were likely on the prowl too. Today, a lone wolf chick might be waiting for her dating app date to show up. So even if she’s not with a dude, she might have one lined up already.

Lone wolf women are extremely rare in my experience in bars since the mid-2000s. Most women go to bars with at least one other person.

Some bars are more oriented towards pickup and some bars are better suited for dating app or other early stage dates. I don't often host dates at the same places where I've gone for pickup.

You do make a decent point about dating app dates.

 

[BadBoy89]

1) High Maintenance- These groups require a lot of FREE time commitment to maintain. Your weekends and some weeknights will be tied to social activities. Don't get me wrong, I love a good Sunday Brunch/Football game hangout once in a while, but those are huge time commitments. If you want to be an exceptional above average human being, then you cannot be spending most of your free time doing these things every week of your life. How are you going to get abs when you are being bugged to go to Taco & Marg night 3 times a week? How are you going to focus on improving your career/business when your weekends are reserved for football lol. Personally, I wasn't able to get to 12% BF until I moved away from my social circle lol. Yes, there are people with good jobs and good physiques in these social circles, but they age like shvt and they have unsustainable dieting/living habits. God forbid you have a GF, now your free time is even more stretched out lol.

Wouldnt say 60-90 minutes is a huge time commitment. Anyone can easily fit in if they manage their time well.

2) Not everyone benefits- People assume that getting in a social circle means instant easy pvssy which isn't the case at all. I know plenty of guys in social circles that aren't getting laid and would be considered incels if they didn't have friends. If the girls do not find you attractive physically & mentally, then they aren't going to refer you unless the girl points you out upfront. What if they give me access to large parties and such? We will touch on that on point 5.

I know plenty of guys in social circles who are. It depends if there are girls in the social circles.

3) Lost opportunity costs- I know people that passed down good opportunities or ruined them because they couldn't leave their social circle. It is hard to blame them because people invest years of their lives to these social circles and really lack the social skills to interact with complete strangers. For a person like me, I will have zero issues taking a better opportunity in Miami, Austin, etc. Even travelling lol, most of my international vacations have been solo travelling. You cannot just go to the store and shop for a social circle, they take work and time to find and grow.

Not sure what this means.

Social circle and opportunities have nothing to do with each other. You can sleep with a girl without leaving your social circle.

4) Bad Leads and the Trap- OLD and clubs have terrible quality women, but you know what to expect upfront. Imagine if your friends hype up a lead to you and you find her moderately attractive, so you are like okay. Y'all meet at a party and click it off and maybe even hook up that night. Later, you find out this girl might be a single mom, cheating on her military spouse that is currently overseas, or other skeletons in the closet you will eventually find out. If you dump this girl then and there then you risk upsetting your social circle because "SHE WAS A SWEET GIRL", so now you have to deal with her for the time and being. Sometimes you are so desperate for pvssy that you just accept the bad lead and deal with it lol. The reality is that most of the leads you will get are going to be low quality rehashed women that your friends think you can save.

Lot of projection here. As long as you don’t treat the girl badly. Everything is ok.

5). Most Social Circles Suck- We like to romanticize social circles as these cohesive friends groups like we see on How You Met Your Mother and Friends where everyone is hot, socially confident, and ambitious. However, most social circles are the complete opposite. Most social circles are full of T.G.I.F degenerates that just low key hate each other. As soon as one of them gets in a relationship, he or she tends to hide/slip away from the group lol. Furthermore, there is always re-occurring drama/gossip in the group with someone in the hot seat.

Social circles are full of retards who hate each other?

You are insulting half the people here. Surprised mods haven’t given you are wanting, Stop insulting people and play by the rules. Be nice.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Both yes and no to OP. There are good social circles and bad social circles, I've seen both.

In my current city, an academic one, I envy an older friend, a professor, that has a great social circle. Long dinners with excellent conversations, that kind of things. They all do marriages of course, that matches those social circles. I don't know if it's beta men really, I don't own that 80-ish old professor, still trying to figure him out. That's why I talk to him, he's senior to me.

Other artist-ish cliques have also sophisticated conversations at cafés. Say five people gently listens on one person talking. I'm impressed.

But yeah, I know the toxic stuff too, and that's why I'm a lone wolf as well. I simply don't find a clique/circle that matches me.

I find my gym kinda ok in that sense. Men minding their own business, working on themselves, maybe some kind of mutual respect.

These social circles you envy are all specialized and take a skill, hobby, or work to obtain which is what I mentioned at the end of my post.

Wouldnt say 60-90 minutes is a huge time commitment. Anyone can easily fit in if they manage their time well.

Are you a BYU fan watching football games virtually with your friends or something? Football aside, I’ve never had a brunch and “productive” day coincide with one another ever.

 

[SW15]

Wouldnt say 60-90 minutes is a huge time commitment. Anyone can easily fit in if they manage their time well.

Are you a BYU fan watching football games virtually with your friends or something? Football aside, I’ve never had a brunch and “productive” day coincide with one another ever.

The following are real events I've attended over my 10+ years in my current city. None of them were events that were only 60-90 minute time commitments. When I consider the time commitments, I'm including the time it took to get ready to go to them plus driving or walking time to the event.

1. Super Bowl party
2. Halloween party
3. Regular Friday or Saturday party at someone's apartment or house
4. Poker game
5. Brunch

I excluded all the times I've played tennis with friends, all of which were longer than 90 minute time commitments too. Those were mainly singles tennis matches. A typical 3 set match is 2+ hours if it goes the 3 full sets, including warm up time.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Yeah when you get to your 30s to mid 30s...where everyone is starting to get married and raise families, you get to the point where you don't have that 'big fun group social circle' anymore like in your teens or college years...but rather a ' small casual hangout type of vibe' with just a small group of buddies to maybe go to the bar and watch the game or something.

If you're a single bachelor, expect to get excluded in relationship oriented family gatherings or what not. My best advice to you guys is to make peace with your solitude, it will come a long way. Have hobbies, read, get a dog, work out and learn the art of making conversations with strangers on the go.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

The following are real events I've attended over my 10+ years in my current city. None of them were events that were only 60-90 minute time commitments. When I consider the time commitments, I'm including the time it took to get ready to go to them plus driving or walking time to the event.

1. Super Bowl party
2. Halloween party
3. Regular Friday or Saturday party at someone's apartment or house
4. Poker game
5. Brunch

I excluded all the times I've played tennis with friends, all of which were longer than 90 minute time commitments too. Those were mainly singles tennis matches. A typical 3 set match is 2+ hours if it goes the 3 full sets, including warm up time.

His parties must be so lame if they are lasting 90 minutes lmao

 

[BadBoy89]

His parties must be so lame if they are lasting 90 minutes lmao

Please stop insulting people. This forum is not for that.

 

[BoostedArrow]

I have gone to bars alone to do approaches. It isn't as bad as people make it out to be. Additionally, there have been times where I had lousy wings and would have just as good going out alone.

You're 21, so you're better positioned to make new friends as compared to a lot of older adults. I'm 39. At 39, if I make new friends, it's likely not with a 25 year old. When you're 30+, more of your friends are 30+ people in couples. They suck. A lot of the guys in married couples tend to forget about their unattched or marginally attached friends. Non-marital couple guys are a little bit better about this.

Yeah I've thinking of going out to bars alone to meet women lately. My "friend" group has become trash.
I was afraid first, bc. I don't wanna be seen as a lone loser, but probably I'm better off by myself without other guys that want to sabotage my hits on women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If your social circle isn't inquiring if you are coming to an event or if you are going to be there, as in a lot of people are interested in seeing you and are excited when you come and disappointed when you don't, then you probably need to find a new social circle.

Likely just going to be wasting your time as it means nobody is interested.