why I have difficulty believing in the increasing value with age myth

[Jitterbug]

In my social circle, there are plenty of older creepy guys and older cool guys - according to the girls (mostly 18~35 year old). It's how they look after & carry themselves, nothing to do with actual age.

Now, the women who hit on me had this sense of logic. He's a Dentist with 2 kids, 6'2", 240. I'm 5'2" weigh 240 and have 2 welfare kids-we match.

She must be a strong woman. I mean, she can carry 240 lbs on her 5'2" frame vs you having to be 6'2" to carry the same weight.

 

[vitor]

This

I know everyone is diffrient but the older I get the better I get. I think its 50/50 but half of my friends are getting fat and losing their hair. The other half is looking better and better each year. I am 29 years old, get carded for cigs, beer, and nightclubs. The best is when I take a date out and they do not get carded and I do. I know I am making more money, well traveled, own a home, a car, and just look great on paper. I am also in the military so part of me looking good is the fact that I do PT everyday . The point is the older you get the more women you can get. Do not listen to this woman she was just trying to put you down. I can tell you hands down if I have a choice of taking home a hot 21 year old or a hot 33 year woman I am taking home the 21 year old everytime. Cougars mean nothing to me, what if you get some older chick pregant who is starting on her decline??

BTW alot of the girls are my 10 year high school reunion where fattys, and not desirable, it is a known fact men age better...
\

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Essentially what this woman is hashing out for you is a Schedules of Mating scenario. You mentioned she was previously married, did she marry the pool boy or the business executive? My guess is she married the Good Provider guy, it grew stale, she got bored and now that she's been compensated she thinks she has the luxury of getting after it with the young bucks.

I don't necessarily disagree with what she's saying here; women do in fact like a good looking, in shape guy. That's physical attraction, and it's going to happen regardless of age or gender. However, as I stated in Schedules of Mating:

This paradox then necessitates that women (and by defalut men) must subscribe to short term and long term schdules of mating. Short term schedules facilitate breeding with the Good Genes male, while long term breeding is reserved the Good Dad male. This convention and the psycho-social schemas that accompany it are precisely why women will marry the Nice Guy, stable, loyal, (preferably) doctor and still ƒuck the pool boy or the cute surfer she met on spring break. In our genetic past a male with good genes implied an ability to be a good provider, but modern convention has thwarted this so new social and mental schemas had to be developed for women.

Now, the reason she's wrong is because she buys into the feminine social convention that women have societally moved past being dependent upon men for their well being. Not only is this categorically and statistically untrue, but she betrays herself in this belief because she was previously married herself. This social convention tells her she's like a man herself - independent, decisive, professional, self-supporting, etc. and thus, like the caricature male she despises, she too thinks not only is she capable of attracting younger sex partners, but she's entitled to do so as if it were a form of retribution. Of course women want to ƒuck hot guys, but being able to do so is another issue entirely.

Typically, men could care less what a woman earns or what she does to earn it - it's simply not a factor in attraction for us - we don't take a woman's status or wealth into consideration, all she has to be is hot. That is a guy's one condition for intimacy; physical attraction / sexual availability. She's gotta be hot - whether she makes six figures or is in the pit of poverty is irrelevant in attraction. Oprah and Star Jones' husbands still have to get aroused, and all the money in the world wont be any better an aphrodesiac.

This is what gnaws away at women as they age - they know on some level that their sexual marketability declines as they age. That's not to say there aren't hot 40 y.o. women, but these are the exceptions to the rule that they'd all like to claim to be. And even the hottest of them still have the internalized subconscious perception of associating age with a declining ability to attract a mate.

 

[Colossus]

I'm actually looking forward to being a few years older, because even at 28 I'm a bit young and unestablished for girls 25-29, which I think are the best demographic.

I as well.

Right now I find that girls 27-30 are mostly owning homes/apartments, have a master's and are firmly in a career. At least in the city. For me right now I find the best demographic to be 23-26 range. Past the college phase but not quite as serious about things as a girl pushing 30.

 

[STR8UP]

The fact that a woman's wealth/status/popularity has no bearing on her ability to attract a mate whereas these qualities increase a man's reproductive value exponentially is totally fascinating and speaks volumes about the complexity of the female attraction mechanism.

Do men "age better" than women? Well, I have had women that have even told me that they believe that men do age better, but how much of it physical and how much of it is simply overall perception?

I dunno....I mean, I'm not in top shape (trying to change that) but I know that I look better and younger than most women my age. I look at a most 35+ year old women and think "What would I want with HER?" I'm not even that attracted to most 30+ women. And there are no "mitigating factors' with women. It's either you're young and hot or you are aging and your stock is tanking regardless of your looks.

Us men have it sooooo much better than women after 30. All of these mitigating factors make us more desirable by the day.

Last night I ran into a chick that I went out with a few times last year. She's 33-34, makes well into the 6 figures as a sales rep for a fortune 500 company, drives a nice Benz, etc. She walks over to me and I'm looking at her and I have to give it to her....she looks good for her age. She works out religiously and has an ass a 21 yr old would be proud of. But I see some wrinkles forming and I'm thinking to myself "You know, I might have banged this chick, but she would never turn me on enough to want anything more". And she could have been promoted to CEO of the company or became a famous actress since I last saw her, and it wouldn't have changed my perception a bit.

But think about how she would have looked at ME if since I had last seen her she saw on the news that I had launched a website that I sold for 75 million dollars?

Work on becoming a better Man, and women will flock to you, regardless of age.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I guess theres no way around it.
I have to admit its abit depressing to hear that.

To be fair, I shouldn't suggest that women under 25 are ALL unsuitable for LTR's...just that an LTR should not be your objective with them. Girls that get serious or marry before 25 are typically the ones that regret missing out on their party years 5 years later and bail out before they reach 30, while they can still easily attract successful men.

If you find a girl (of any age) that comes from a strong family, has a giving/nurturing personality type, and - perhaps the most significant - has FRIENDS with the same committed mindset, then you've found a girl that is LTR material--consider it the jackpot. Even so, such girls in their early 20's may still be reluctant to settle down, particularly if they are educated.
To make matters worse, attractive girls with those qualities are rare, and as more and more children are raised in broken homes, that trend is unlikely to reverse itself.

The best mindset to adopt with quality young women would be one of guarded optimism--enjoy your time together, but always withhold a little of yourself. Make sure that your life would be full just the same if she wasn't around, and above all, don't cave into her desire for greater commitment (i.e. cohabitating, engagement after only 2 years). If you are with a girl over about the age of 25, you should know after 2 years if she is marriage material. For a girl in her early 20's, expect to spend at least 4 years before you can be so assured--the changes that happen to a women psychologically during her 20's are quite turbulent, and there's a good chance that she will emerge a completely different person.

I'd say that after a women hits her late 20's, she's not gonna likely to change appreciably. This is why older women really aren't any more mature.

 

[mrRuckus]

It's their face. At about 27 their face has become a mess that just progressively gets worse. I look at my own face and i don't have wrinkles or anything like that yet. Why are their faces so quick to fall apart? Is it all the excess bullsh1t makeup and tanning beds from when they were 20?

I guess it's cool. I look at men with wrinkles and they don't look bad. It's mostly just the out of shape ones. I even look at women celebrities and while she might have a good body still into her 30s and 40s, i think to myself "if i'm 50, that's really what i have to deal with? If i get married, her face is inevitably gonna droop so soon?" And these are women with makeup! I don't even wanna know what they look like in the morning.

 

[cedd]

The second thing that makes me doubt the older man=higher value myth is that on match, I actually did the math on several pages of women aged 28-35, and they want a man between 7 years younger and 3 years older than themselves!

can't you just see that a vaste majority of couples is made of women younger than their husbands ?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Steven,
Dating is like real estate,when valuing a home you never look at the prices agents think they can get,rather look at the prices realised....From the dancing scene where I can look at dozens of single girls,the older they get the greater the upward disparity in age their future partner will be.

 

[Blackdon]

You saw the math, i saw something different

This reminds me of a joke I once read about a university proffesor and an ordinary guy who went camping one day.At night as they were sleeping in a tent a thief came and stole the the tent. The ordinery guy wakes the proffessor and asks him, 'when you look up what do you see?' The professor replies and says ' I see the stars', the other guy replies and says, smarty the tent has been stolen. What is it I am driving at here, You saw the mathematics in the age issue, I am looking at it from a different angle,the couger wanted you since you are young. So next time a couger says such stuff to you, ask for her number.:yes:

 

[darkstarrr]

If you find a girl (of any age) that comes from a strong family, has a giving/nurturing personality type, and - perhaps the most significant - has FRIENDS with the same committed mindset, then you've found a girl that is LTR material--consider it the jackpot. Even so, such girls in their early 20's may still be reluctant to settle down, particularly if they are educated.
To make matters worse, attractive girls with those qualities are rare, and as more and more children are raised in broken homes, that trend is unlikely to reverse itself.

The best mindset to adopt with quality young women would be one of guarded optimism--

 

[Sinistar]

I think the reason the OP is having trouble believing that with age comes increased value (for males) - is that achieving this takes work/effort when you are younger. Or it takes a lot more work/effort if you start when older.

Put another way, nobody said it would be easy. But with the right mindset and experiences behind you I strongly disagree with you're calling this a myth.

You're not that old yet. Go ahead, buy into the cougar's mindset. Do this for 5-10 more years. Eventually (as you enter your 40's) and dating up another 5-15yrs will not only be unappealing I predict you'd all but have to force yourself to date older than your own age.

The real myth is believing that dating cougar's is a positive step for a MAN.

 

[iqqi]

StevenR

You just spoke to a Cougar, with cougar mentality and self mystification cougar thought processing. What did you expect her to tell you?

LMAO.

EXACTLY.

The biggest example of this phenomenon is right here on this board!

You have all these "male" cougars saying what they themselves want to hear. What do you expect the old men here to tell you?

The truth is, everyone has their own preferences. Some people prefer older, some people prefer younger. And that is all across the board.

The best thing you can do is stop focusing on something you can't change, and work on what you CAN.

There are many traits you might have or could develop, that outweigh a little bit of age.

 

[Tazman]

^^
"Male" cougars? It doesn't even make sense but reading it did make me laugh. Lets see, women have a definite point where they can't and/or shouldn't attempt to become pregnant, there's a sort of "expiration" date. However, men don't have such inherent limitations so how could we possibly be lumped into the same category?

70 y/o man can impregnate a 16 y/o girl.

16 y/o boy cannot impregnate a 70 y/o woman (who probably has no interest in sex anyway).

 

[Freddy1]

I think the reason the OP is having trouble believing that with age comes increased value (for males) - is that achieving this takes work/effort when you are younger. Or it takes a lot more work/effort if you start when older.

I think alot of it has to do with insecurities. He needs validation from others. Once he has it he'll be on the right track.

 

[iqqi]

^^
"Male" cougars? It doesn't even make sense but reading it did make me laugh. Lets see, women have a definite point where they can't and/or shouldn't attempt to become pregnant, there's a sort of "expiration" date. However, men don't have such inherent limitations so how could we possibly be lumped into the same category?

70 y/o man can impregnate a 16 y/o girl.

16 y/o boy cannot impregnate a 70 y/o woman (who probably has no interest in sex anyway).

I guess your argument might have some weight if the definition of cougar was someone trying to get pregnant.

:crazy:

 

[azanon]

LMAO.

EXACTLY.

The biggest example of this phenomenon is right here on this board!

You have all these "male" cougars saying what they themselves want to hear. What do you expect the old men here to tell you?

We're supposed to say we can catch women easily when the reality is we can't? Why the h*** would any of the older guys do that? I think if any of the older guys were having issues in this regard, they'd admit it and ask for help here.

I'm married, but TBH, I think "catching" women is so easy, we should all be ashamed that there's even the necessity for having a forum for it. The successful ones of us have so much to lose by inviting them into our lives, that they should thank their lucky stars when we hit on them.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's OK AZANON, IQQI just hit 28 and is coming to realize her expiration date is almost up. The alcohol isn't working as well anymore and she needs to vent now that NLG is sick of her.

 

[Tazman]

^^
"Male" cougars? It doesn't even make sense but reading it did make me laugh. Lets see, women have a definite point where they can't and/or shouldn't attempt to become pregnant, there's a sort of "expiration" date. However, men don't have such inherent limitations so how could we possibly be lumped into the same category?

70 y/o man can impregnate a 16 y/o girl.

16 y/o boy cannot impregnate a 70 y/o woman (who probably has no interest in sex anyway).

I guess your argument might have some weight if the definition of cougar was someone trying to get pregnant.

That means you missed the point entirely.

The connotations of the term "cougar" do not apply to men because we aren't women, regardless of pregnancy (only used to further illustrate this point) that's why "male cougar" looks and sounds funny.

 

[StevenR]

Read the last three posts of this blog, this isn't my imagination that women no longer want older men-
http://www.halfsigma.com/2006/07/the_woman_short.html

here are the last three posts, presumably by the same cvnt btch

yeah but even given the odds. it seems the older male still will not consider dating in thier age bracket. most lie about thier age on dating websites by several years up to decades (saying they are 35 when they are 45, seeking women in thier early 30s and twenties) i am a 48 yr old female, who wieghs 128lbs at 5'6''. i am mistaken for being in my early 30's all the time, but men my own age have shunned me. they somehow think they are better and deserve younger women NOT THIER EQUALS BUT 5'S EXPECTING TO DATE 9'S WHO ARE ALSO AT LEAST 10 YRS YOUNGER THAN THEMSELVES. its good this phenomenon has occurred giving men a reality check and hopefully teaching them a lesson. i bring so much to the table but men who bank building thier egos on a number (age) now have to stand in line behind much younger men these days. the hollywood trend now is younger male older woman and we are taking advantage of that trend. gone are the days of the older guy pulling in chicks, the younger ones he pulls in now need him........ for a place to live and lifestyle upgrade! or in the case of the ethnics who are flooding the dating pool, they need legitimatacy brought about by dating someone lighter, who are take the stima away. lol not loved, need.
talk about dysfunction, here it is. men trying to date out of thier league and age range generally derranged away but this trend will put a stop to thier games and playtime. its good to see them scramble. heres the proof just about all my 40 something friends are now all finding husbands!!!!!!!!!!! men see that playtime is over and they cant have it all.
ps i am now dating a man my own age..... first time ever. i have been divorced 20 yrs. no men my age wanted me all this time, i have been dating younger men.

Posted by: | September 27, 2007 at 05:16 AM

for the male posters....... I AM 48 AND CAN STILL HAVE CHILDREN. LIKE MOST WOMEN in my age bracket.
getting a younger woman for purposes of childbearing is not a good reason, its an excuse for dysfunction.
plus women in the 40 yr age range are not looking for a dating situation (to be used until something better comes along) more a life partner/husband. so save you dating for ethnics or dsyfunctional non marriage material. come to us women your age when your ready for a real relationship and a future based on equality respect rationale and healthy living and maturity.

Posted by: | September 27, 2007 at 05:24 AM

sorry i have to say this........
TRAVEL THE WORLD. america is the about the only place that puts a premium on younger women and values women based on age......merely because of the media brainwashing. its not hardwired into your system, its not in your genes, its not science, its nothing but the media. a history lessone will teach you that, read the the oldest writings in the world and you will see none of the male race makes those claims nor feels the way brainwashed USA males do. up until 50-100 yrs ago most americans thought for themselves and none thought like the typical USA male of today does. these claims are excuses and lies they tell themselves and others to make what they do seem ok. if you traveled you would know that. the age thing is an american phenomenon. go to a cemetary, look at the tombstones... most have been marrying women thier own age since time began. see the census. most men marry women within 2 yrs of thier age above or below. a very small number marry women 5 years or more younger, and same goes for older. same stats for women, although the younger male trend is actually shaking up the census lately. women have not been able to land men thier own age and instead of going up 10 yrs they have seen more value in going 5-7 years lower! its a beautiful thing

Posted by: | September 27, 2007 at 05:40 AM

ps women who make thier own money get to choose whatever they want. being one of those types i have been able to date the younger brad pitt, matt damon (every woman's dream)types. sometimes i even shocked myself at the men whom i could date as i went down the age ladder. while the men my own age who were 4's did not want me, i found it easy to land a 9 who was 10 yrs younger and who did not have a divorce or child support payment. he also knew how to dress and did not need viagra or have e.d. problems. i did not need the male for money so i could purely date based on looks and character. i also found that i made more money that men in my own age group anyway so the money they had was not a selling point.
most of the younger men found me fascinating and liked being able to discuss art, gourmet cooking, physics, history, politics, religion, and every other topic a benefit.
once i was dating a 22 yr old while i was 35. everyone thought he was older than me, he looked like leo dicaprio in titanic. we dated 3 yrs. he was rich with a trust fund.
there are plenty of younger men who have it all including money!!!!!!!!!! so all you 40+ men, remember your wallet can be competed with by younger men and women. you better find something else to sell yourself on, if you banking on just having a wallet and a bowflex machine!
for the record the trust funder married and older woman and a 30 came into his money!

Posted by: | September 27, 2007 at 06:01 AM

I think I was part of that 17% of omega males who got ignored for older men when I was 18-34, now if I stay single I will be part of the 35+ crowd of older men who will get ignored by the women who ignored me earlier because I was too young when it was trendy to date older guys. Great timing huh?