why i can't approach

[Packers2010]

For some reason I feel like I can’t approach. I have done it before. I did it well back in Perth, I have even got numbers (though they flaked the next day) threw approaching. once I moved to Wales everything stopped. It’s bugging me.

Yesterday I was sick and I didn’t want to go out. But I though going out would do me some good so I went into town. ( I live in a village now) since I can’t drive, ( insurance issue) my mother drove me there sine she needed to pick up some things.

I was in a shop just browsing around and I saw this cute girl there. I was so close to tapping her on the shoulder but I never did. Something was different though. Most of the time I feel like the aura around someone I want to approach isn’t inviting. This time it was. For one reason or another, it felt like she wanted me to approach her. Though I don’t know why I didn’t ( maybe because my other was there I don’t know)

What I have been trying to do, which I don’t know if it’s good or bad, is to reed enough game, so i can change my belief system so it will allow me to approach. I know it’s sounds very weird. I know most guys say “ just go out and do it” but that hasn’t worked for me. Each time I go out, I become closer to doing it. So maybe it is working.

I have been staying away from routines as much as possible being is I don’t want to rely on them, but lately I have been thinking is I do create a “script” it might make me more combatable in set, then later on i can just drop do inprov. (just say whatever right now all I have is inprov)

What do you think I should do? I have been going out to the local pub these past few weeks just to be social ( hardly any girls there) but I don’t know what to do.

Thanks for the advice

 

[020204]

Same thing, I feel I have heaps of reading to do and feel I want to generate a really strong innergame before I approach consistantly. I think some of the books are very good and you will get something from them for sure. Try to stay away from that guy from the Forced Loneliness Movement as he is kind of toxic.

 

[Exodus13]

I'm still a newbie, but I do know this, if you are afraid of approaching, reading won't help you. Just grab you're balls and do it! You are hiding, if you are thinking you are not ready. YOU ARE READY, you have always been ready!
DO NOT LET FEAR HAVE THE LAST WORD!

Exodus

 

[JohnChops]

I'm still a newbie, but I do know this, if you are afraid of approaching, reading won't help you. Just grab you're balls and do it! You are hiding, if you are thinking you are not ready. YOU ARE READY, you have always been ready!
DO NOT LET FEAR HAVE THE LAST WORD!

Exodus

Seriously, there was a good article by challenge man, he literally said grab your balls and fukkkin do it! Its that simple and you know what dont even view women as unapproachable thats a load of bs. Just try to act like your approaching a potentially new friend. And have no expectations , just have fun with it man!

 

[Lexington]

There's no easy way out. The only way to get good at approaching is to get out there and do it. It's like learning to ride a bike without training wheels when you were a kid. Sometimes it was terrifying and you probably wiped out a couple of times. But you kept doing it until you got it.

 

[Iceberg]

Approaching isn't easy. Hell, I still have approaching issues.

My suggestion is - just talk to people. The friends I have who are most successful with women are the guys who can talk to anyone about anything.

For me, it's not about walking up to a girl all smooth like, "Yo baby. What's your number." It's about being in a situation like yours, at the grocery store, and you see the girl pick up some cereal or shampoo or whatever, and you say, "I was going to try that. What do you think of it?"

Then the conversation progresses, and either you pick up the vibe that she's digging you, and you ask her for a number. Or you feel like she's not digging you, and you walk away, at least happy that you initiated a conversation.

Well actually, since you're still early in the game, I'd suggest that you ask for the number anyway. I've been doing this for a while, and I've developed some gut instincts for who's digging my vibe and who isn't. But that gut instinct is developed through a lot of rejections and a lot of success.

Anyway, in summary - don't look at your interactions with people as "pick-ups". Just talk. About the weather. About how busy the coffee shop is. Whatever.

Some guys have their game styled in such a way where they just walk up to girls and make things happen. My style of game is to use a situation or environment as a conversation starter. The downside of my style is, if there's no situation or environment, then I don't have a conversation starter.

 

[zorg198]

Yesterday i was at a party with my friends, i saw a cure bat tender there which i liked. it was late around 2:00 PM , she was bored but i approached her anyway and asked her : do you want to dance? she said no thank you. Rejection? you bet you , so what? it was better not go and think what could happen?

 

[JohnChops]

do not masturbate if you expect to approach. Dont know why but it absolutely kills your person-to-person interactions, I think it lowers test or something. Besides that, its just low self esteem. High testosterone will power through that.

Yeah it lowers your testosterone levels and also your not horny anymore after. Don't master bait before the gym either

 

[Packers2010]

Some guys have their game styled in such a way where they just walk up to girls and make things happen. My style of game is to use a situation or environment as a conversation starter. The downside of my style is, if there's no situation or environment, then I don't have a conversation starter.

firstly thanks for your advice.

secondly this is ENTIRELY my problem right now!

I remember a girl sitting across from me one time on the train ride home ( you may hard heard about it) I didn't even talk to her for something like 30 mins. then someone stood on her laptop and BOOM I was in there talking to her.

I'm just lost when it comes to just randomly talking to her.

 

[Packers2010]

do not masturbate if you expect to approach. Dont know why but it absolutely kills your person-to-person interactions, I think it lowers test or something. Besides that, its just low self esteem. High testosterone will power through that.

really? well that's a main problem I have i'm a 2 fap a day guy. I really need to stop. i mean, i have stopped looking at porn. but I do still fap.

looks like i'm going to have to give it up!

 

[JohnChops]

really? well that's a main problem I have i'm a 2 fap a day guy. I really need to stop. i mean, i have stopped looking at porn. but I do still fap.

looks like i'm going to have to give it up!

also work out and build muscle for more testosterone and to feel good of course

 

[Mike32ct]

do not masturbate if you expect to approach. Dont know why but it absolutely kills your person-to-person interactions, I think it lowers test or something. Besides that, its just low self esteem. High testosterone will power through that.

I fully agree with this.

I used to whack off before going out or on a date and I wouldn't do well. I didn't there was any connection. It seemed like superstitious nonsense, but experience shows it's not. It really does drain your drive, energy, and passion.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Here is a flirty intro for you. Works well at a place like Bed Bath & Beyond (my god the level of estrogen there...). Browse around and when a cute female employee says hello (or whatever, I think they are supposed to as part of policy) you respond:

You: I'll bet you say that to all the guys shopping here!
Her: Well, it's my job to help out.
You: Too bad, I thought you might have been flirting with me (then wink)

At this point she will either like the game or be very flustered. At this point you have to be able to coast with her reply, whatever it is.

 

[Iceberg]

Here is a flirty intro for you. Works well at a place like Bed Bath & Beyond (my god the level of estrogen there...). Browse around and when a cute female employee says hello (or whatever, I think they are supposed to as part of policy) you respond:

You: I'll bet you say that to all the guys shopping here!
Her: Well, it's my job to help out.
You: Too bad, I thought you might have been flirting with me (then wink)

At this point she will either like the game or be very flustered. At this point you have to be able to coast with her reply, whatever it is.

Hm. Can't really see that leading to any kind of worthwhile conversation.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You lack confidence and your not sure of yourself. Once you are sure of yourself you won't have any trouble approaching a woman.

Just like a person who knows his material is not afraid to go infront of a crowd.

 

[yuppaz]

Iceberg & remote controll for the win! Have been seeing a lot of posts where guys are telling other guys to dial in your inner game first, then go meet girls. I have to disagree with that line of thinking. Being social helps your inner game and approaching (& just realising that sometimes the two of you are a good match and sometimes you aren'tand rejection doesn't actually exist) with the right mind set (see icebergs post) will help your confidence, self esteem and your actual skill level in interacting with women.