Why has she suddenly gone cold?

[putz]

Hi guys, il try to keep this short, but id really like some advice on this.
Met a girl about 3 weeks ago at a party..facebook messaged her for about a wk until i got her number. Set up a date. Date went well i thought..good conversation/flirty but no kiss at the end. Set up date number 2 at the end of date number 1. After date 1 she texts first the next day that she had a great time etc and is looking forward to date 2. Date 2 about 3 days after date 1(had a few messages and a call inbetween) lasted for about 2.5 hrs and again in my opinion really good conversation/flirty and quite a bit of touching..however i didn’t man up and kiss her at the end (i know, i know). After date 2 i text her that night and she texts back immediately..good response and flirty text. The next day i call at night, she doesn’t pick up so i leave a voice message (nothing needy i think). No call back or text. The day after missed phone call i send a quick text joke at about 10am but no text return and i followup at 8pm saying something about her missing out on the greatest knock knock joke in the world. She replies in 10 minutes and then have a couple of messages where her answers are super short 1-2 words..then asked her if i could give her a quick buzz to which she replied “kinda busy. Talk later.” That was a couple of days ago, thought id not text/call for a few days and then try again. I actually really like this girls personality/humour as well as looks and it’s very rare for me to be into a girl so much after only 2 dates. Also know this girl is someone my parents would totally approve of if it turned into a relationship (same religion/country etc and all that stuff some parents want). Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.

 

[AlwayzConquer]

Unfortunately, You need to move on my man. I can tell you're very into her by the way you described her. Nothing wrong with that, it's perfectly normal. I assure you though, this one is done. If she felt the same way about you as you do her. She wouldn't risk loosing you, by not texting after a few days. One big rule of thumb: If you feel you did nothing wrong. You probably didnt. It's on her. Her problem her loss. I know alot of girls will test the water with other guys, but if they like you, they'll come running back, text/call,etc. Afraid they'll loose you.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Sudden low interest after initial high interest usually indicates another guy is on the scene whom she likes better than you.
It's been proven thousands of times.
Go complete NC and see if she comes back to you.
If she does, only entertain her if she is extremely apologetic for being such a cvnt and organises a meet-up.

 

[ARrocket]

Date went well i thought..good conversation/flirty but no kiss at the end. Set up date number 2 at the end of date number 1.

..however i didn’t man up and kiss her at the end (i know, i know).

That's probably why. Let this be a lesson to you.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Ya dig?

 

[VladPatton]

It doesn't matter, really. Her actions display low, low interest, which means you can't do much but go cold and move on. B!tches are weird, man, there's no magic rule you can go by. Do yourself a favor and drop it to NC mode before you do something chumpish.

Good luck.

 

[putz]

cheers for the advice guys!

 

[GotED?]

Personally, I think you gave her too much attention between the first and second date, AFC-like behavior.

Secondly, you didn't give her the chance to CHASE you, which women need to unleash their desire. Women are sometimes very retarded and poor decision maker - they can't make up their mind on what they want. They can only do so when they decide that something is GOING AWAY and they then panick and chase after it. That 'it' needs to be you - or else you establish NO VALUE in her perception (doesn't matter what the reality is if you are AFC to the core but display a mask of the opposite for just a short while) and mind.

Lastly, women are SUPER COMPETITVE against each other - ALL women want a man that other women WANT badly. To know she has the prize, is what it takes for her to fook your brains out and stay loyal to you. Once you lose the sight of as a prize, she will be looking for the next prize higher.

Good luck,

With respect

Exodus

 

[sighsigh]

It's too early to jump to conclusions just yet.

But keep in mind that you exhibited neediness during your interactions with her which most likely damaged her IL. You never set up a future date while still on the present one. You should have waited more than 3 days before seeing each other again (at least a week). You should not be contacting her in-between dates. Try to understand that your little phone texts and FB messages and so on are NOT going to increase her IL. And, of course, not escalating physically during the actual dates is bad.

Go NC (as you've been doing), and see if she responds.

Also, question: what did you guys do on the two dates?

 

[putz]

Thanks again. Given me a lot to reflect on guys. For your question sighsigh..first date was coffee/walk along the river. Second date was bowling and arcade games..but most of the time we were talking whilst eating/drinking at the food area..

 

[VinceV]

the reason she went cold is because you didn't do anything.

she was probably waiting for you to take control and lead her to the bedroom and rip her clothes off, but you didn't even go for a kiss. so she got pissed off.

 

[st_99]

Sudden low interest after initial high interest usually indicates another guy is on the scene whom she likes better than you.

this is generally what i've experienced to be true also.

 

[omega05]

The reason she went cold is because she is a woman...

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I love this site; the only thing I don't like, however, is that when people leave stories like this, the general responses I hear are either "oh, she's just a crazy b*tch" or "women are dumb and don't know what they want." And that's not always the case.

In this case, you did a LOT of things wrong, some of which you may not have even told us (for example, the things you talked about while on the date could have been your downfall, but there's no examples of what topics were brought up). However, from what you've told us about your interactions, here are some MAJOR gaffs that caused her to be turned off:

Met a girl about 3 weeks ago at a party..facebook messaged her for about a wk until i got her number.

Mistake #1: You didn't ask for her number at the party. Doing this one act would have helped you read her interest level - she would have either given it up right away (high interest) or stalled (low interest).

Instead, you got her FB information? Already looking weak. And then, you messaged her back and forth for a week? Probably had quite a few convos where you were spilling your guts or saying the wrong things. Plus, being able to message her all the time made you look too available. No bueno.

Set up a date. Date went well i thought..good conversation/flirty but no kiss at the end.

Mistake #2: Didn't go for the kiss. Yes, some girls will make you wait, but I have found that the majority of girls who I've been in long relationships with were willing to kiss me sometime between midway-to-end of the first date.

Set up date number 2 at the end of date number 1.

Mistake #3: You ALWAYS want to leave a girl wondering IF you're going to ask her out again. Not doing so lets her know she's already got you in the palm of her hand, thus no longer making you a challenge.

Date 2 about 3 days after date 1(had a few messages and a call inbetween)

Mistake #4: You should've waited 5 to 7 days before taking her out again. She needs time to miss you, think about you, talk to her girlfriends about you, all of which builds up interest. The sooner you go back out, the less time she has to increase her level of desire for you.

Mistake #5: You message and called her in between dates. In essence, it's still spending time with her, which doesn't allow her to do the things mentioned in Mistake #4. Always go NC between dates. The only contact you should have is to set up the date, or when she gets antsy while waiting for said date and hits YOU up. And even then, the convo should be short and end with "let's talk more on the date, shall we?"

lasted for about 2.5 hrs and again in my opinion really good conversation/flirty and quite a bit of touching..however i didn’t man up and kiss her at the end (i know, i know).

Mistake #6: Yep, should've gone for the kiss. Not just because it feels good, but also to see if she likes you. If a girl rejects your kiss at the end of the date, it's a GOOD thing - it means you can tell she doesn't like you, and you can save money by not taking her out anymore. Think of this action as a money-saving tactic: if you don't kiss her, you may just be taking someone out who's in it for the free dinners.

Mistake #7: Also, when you say quite a bit of touching, were YOU the one initiating this touching or her? I have found that most guys on here talk about doing KINO on a girl, but really it's the opposite: SHE should be the one initiating touch with YOU first. Girls instinctively know we want to touch them; however, when you don't touch them first, it plays with their head. They start thinking, "does he like me? He's not touching me?" Then, they feel inclined to do it first, which is their way of letting YOU know it's okay to touch them.

After date 2 i text her that night and she texts back immediately..

See Mistake #5 again.

The next day i call at night, she doesn’t pick up so i leave a voice message (nothing needy i think).

Mistake #8: No, but texting her one day then calling her the next day makes you look needy. And again, we don't know the exact message you left or what your vocal tone was when you left the message, so...

The day after missed phone call i send a quick text joke at about 10am but no text return and i followup at 8pm saying something about her missing out on the greatest knock knock joke in the world...

Mistake #9: For those of you who read my posts on here regularly, I always talk about how text messaging KILLS relationships. This is one of those examples: sending texts about random things do NOT build up her interest. They only make you look too available, desperate, and not very interesting. Honestly, this jokey text is not something that is interesting to a girl - all jokes should be told in person.

The only time text messaging should be used - and again, I still believe calling or doing this in person is the BEST method - is to set up a time to meet up with her. That's IT. Anything more and you go from being her potential suitor, to one of her girlfriends that she gets all chatty Cathy with.

She replies in 10 minutes and then have a couple of messages where her answers are super short 1-2 words..then asked her if i could give her a quick buzz to which she replied “kinda busy. Talk later.”

Mistake #10: WHY DID YOU ASK HER PERMISSION TO CALL?? You should have just called her up. If she didn't pick up or text you back AFTER you called and told you now isn't a good time, at least THEN you could have gotten the hint that she wasn't interested. I've said this before, but you have to be willing to not just read signals that indicate interest, but also the ones that show she's NOT interested. That way, you can recognize it and move on early instead of wasting your time chasing someone your ego thinks you can get.

In short: she's not interested. Don't wait around for her to get the hint that you like her - she knows, and she doesn't care. Learn from these mistakes and don't do them on the next girl. Hope this helps!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Putz, do us a favor and divide your long posts into paragraphs. I and a lot of others here don't read big blocks of text. You'll get more readers that way.

 

[Purefilth]

Putz, do us a favor and divide your long posts into paragraphs. I and a lot of others here don't read big blocks of text. You'll get more readers that way.

I am one of these too, the enter key is your friend, use it

 

[Renegade357]

facebook messaged her for about a wk until i got her number. Set up a date. Date went well i thought..good conversation/flirty but no kiss at the end.

So far so good.

Set up date number 2 at the end of date number 1.

Nope, this is where you f'd up. Never do this. Never make a date on a date especially the first. You're supposed to wait a week to call her to set that up.

.however i didn’t man up and kiss her at the end (i know, i know). After date 2 i text her that night and she texts back immediately..good response and flirty text.

You MUST kiss after date 2. And texting her the same night as your date big mistake. No contact between dates except to plan the next one.

The next day i call at night, she doesn’t pick up so i leave a voice message (nothing needy i think). No call back or text.

Another mistake. You need more patience. Wait 3-5 days to call her back after each date until she's your g/f. You're really wracking these mistakes up aren't you?

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.

Too many mistakes. I bet you'll do better next time. This one is probably done. Still, I think you should wait a week to call her and ASK HER OUT AGAIN. Then do things right if you are lucky enough to have another chance. Stop acting desperate and stop talking about how she could be your g/f. You don't know anything about her.

I don't mean to sound harsh man but it's nothing compared to the pain you feel when you mess up and lose her. Good luck!

 

[thevilittletroll]

great advice harry wilmington, its right on the money. op let me give you some additional info. i've read 1000 posts on this site saying roughly the same exact thing. you showed afc low value behavior from the very beginning. the high value, self confident, pua, alpha male, would have had hooked up with her the night you met at the party. if not had sex with her there should have at least been a make out. i give you credit that you at least got 2 dates out of it. she actually gave you 3 chances, the night you met, your first and second date. after your second date whatever attraction she had for you was completely eliminated because she confirmed you were afc and not alpha.

go back and think about your inital conversation with her when you met at the party. try to determine what you talked about that got her attracted to you. build on that with being more aggressive and take what you want. add more kino earlier and more often, and you should be escalating. phone numbers really dont mean much are are not a big deal. get the phone number earlier and move on with the interaction. this small tip shows confidence. and most importantly once you get the day2 date, dont be so available or needy. it says to her you are desperate and dont have any options with women, big turn off. so take it easy with texting and calling. so bottom line you need to be more confident, aggressive, and move much faster. girls that are attracted to you will allow you to escalate on them even if they say they're not that kinda girl.

 

[nismo-4]

The jury has spoken, especially Harry Wilmington.

You made too many errors. Your princess is in another castle. Now move on to another girl.

Case closed. Exit stage left.

 

[Perfect]

you lost bruh. you shouldn't have to hit a girl up that much early on before getting a response. 1 call OR 1 text, if she doesn't respond she either A. Doesn't want to or B. Didnt get it but will eventually text/call you because she likes you


Either way, 1 call OR 1 text is ENOUGH. You got other ppl in your life that want love too man! They are probably MUCH more deserving anyway....