Why don't girls approach??

FurryFriend

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Girls approach all the time, but not in the way guys do.

Guys can blatantly approach a stranger and try to get a number. This kind of approach is unheard of for women to perform. It's part of the female DNA to avoid risk and damage to ego.

But girls will flirt with someone she already somewhat knows and, in a roundabout way, get a phone number or get touchy. It's far more subtle.
 

jaymo

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FurryFriend said:
Girls approach all the time, but not in the way guys do.

Guys can blatantly approach a stranger and try to get a number. This kind of approach is unheard of for women to perform. It's part of the female DNA to avoid risk and damage to ego.

But girls will flirt with someone she already somewhat knows and, in a roundabout way, get a phone number or get touchy. It's far more subtle.
A lot of times, a girl will send in a friend to see what kind of guy he is, have her set up a rapport with him, then by extension she can then meet him through her. It's sort of like the wingman approach, but a bit different.

At least that's what some of the girls I know have told me.

One time, a girl I knew actually ASKED a guy out because he wouldn't ask her out (guy was a bit of a wuss and gave the excuse of not wanting to scare her away). However, it was ONLY after her friends repeatedly NAGGED HER and PESTERED her and PUSHED her that she was able to muster up the courage to do it.
 

~attrACTION~

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sparky0000 said:
I have had plenty of very nice girls approach me. I can't be the only one.
I think you should put a disclaimer in your signature. Maybe something like this: "I live in Ukraine/Russia, so my comments are not valid for 99% of guys in the rest of the world."
 

FurryFriend

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sparky0000 said:
I have had plenty of very nice girls approach me. I can't be the only one.
All guys, even the ugliest and lamest ones, have been approached by women. But since women are so subtle at it, whether the guy realized it was an approach is a different story.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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thickandcreamy said:
You are a bitter old fool. Stop trolling.

Trolling? This guy has been around here for a long time. He's not a troll. He is just blunt. And what he said is true.

Sorry, but you're not exactly going to get any virgin women approaching you this century. Which kind of women are more likely to be so forward and approach YOU? Think about it.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Can we please steer away from an inane comparison between 30k/year joes and rich celebrities making 100s of millions?
 

THE_ADDMAN

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girls will not approach because they cant bear the risk of rejection. its all bout female pride and protecting their egos.

remember that the next time they make a comment about "male pride" or "male ego":)
 

lookyoung

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Deus ex Pianoforte said:
:rolleyes: Here we go again. Listen. This has nothing to do wth being "super good-looking". It's all about confidence. And usually that's not even enough. Personally, if I see the woman of my dreams, there's no way in hell I'm going to even consider approaching her...no matter how good-looking she is. So if I won't do it, the chances of her approaching are next to none.

Listen lets not get into a does looks matter debate Dues. It seems like you love to get into these discussions. My opinion is looks do matter. I have heard woman say OMG he is so hot! From my real life experiences looks do matter. I don't think you have that many real life experiences.

If Leonardo Dicaprio walks into a nightclub he will get approached.
I am using this as an example to the men that say woman will not approach. Woman will approach men in extreme situations.

1. Being super good looking in her eyes.
2. Being a celebrity.


A woman will usually do a cold approach on a guy at a club when she thinks he is super hot. I have experienced it and seen it.
 

Vypros

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The simple answer to this has nothing to do with confidence or "having balls". It's a matter of NATURE.

Look to nature for your answer. I used to be an avid deer hunter (not so much anymore, but I used to be), so I spent a lot of time in the woods and I've observed a lot of different wildlife...mainly deer, so I'll use them.

Do you ever wonder why deer season is, well, a "season" in the various states? And why they choose particlar dates for it?

Well, part of the reason has to do with a thing called the "rut", which is the season where most of the little bambis are made.

They have the season during the rut because that is when the deer are stirring and the sexual drive is the highest during that time. So, while I'm deer hunting, I'm actually observing the sexual patterns of deer (sounds kind of sick doesn't it?).

The point I am making is that in watching these deer, one thing is almost always constant. Anytime you see a "doe" (female deer) you keep your eyes peeled because if you are seeing a bunch of does, you are almost SURE to see a buck (male deer) during that time. Why? Because the bucks are CHASING the does. And the does are always running from the bucks...but not running AWAY fromt he bucks, just running from them.

Why do they run from them? Well, because the buck that can "catch" her, is the one most likely not to be sick or most likely to have the strongest genes for her offspring. Without the chase, she wouldn't have a method for weeding out which are the weaker deer and which aren't, and in order to ensure the strongest possible survival for her offspring, she makes him chase her. Not only that, but this is also a time where you are likely to see the bucks locking antlers with each other. The more dominant deer is the one who's going to catch the doe.

Why did I say that? BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NO DIFFERENT. We are just more civilized about it (if you can call it that).

We are each hardwired with a natural instinct for surival. We are each hardwired in such a way as to promote the best chance of survival for us and our offspring.

Men are hardwired to spread their "seed" across as many women as possible (much like the buck is trying to do during the rut) and women are hardwired to proactively preselect who will be the most likely to survive and be the most apt to protect and take care of her offspring.

So, a women CHASING a guy is unnatural because it voids this "natural" litmus test that is hardwired in her. Or rather, it'snot natural for a woman to do this, because of the way she is hardwired.

Hence, men approach, and females SELECT.

In short, it's all about natural selection and things that are hardwired into us as a species.
 

Vypros

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Deus ex Pianoforte said:
:

If Leonardo Dicaprio walks into a nightclub he will get approached.
Do you wonder why that is?

Because Leonardo Dicraprio has proven to the world that he is more likely to surive than Joe Schmuck. Why? Because actors, politicians, lawyers, sports players, etc. are ALL in a giant minority (much like rich people). Not EVERYBODY makes it in those types of careers, and it takes a certain strength within you to rise to that type of status (which we here on the internet call "social proof").

So, these types of males are already preselected simply because they have proven to the world that they have what it takes to be successful. So a woman doesn't have to "test" him, he's already passed the test!

Hence, why droves of women would approach him.
 

knglerxt

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A few girls might do it in a club or bar setting, but outside of those venues they're not going to approach you. I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a good looking guy. I get looks from girls all the time. But I've never been approached. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is.

Any guy that says differently is either lying or he's luckier than I am.
 

Tha Realnezz

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I notice more attractive women have no issues speaking to a guy they like.

While the average to ugly girls will sometimes even disrespect a guy they actually like for not going after her thinking this will get his attention.

The "ugly chic that thinks she's hot"(usually a fat chic thinking she has a nice body) or the "butterfaces" also has no qualms about messing with men of her choice because they know there's a market of men that attracted soley to bodies or fatties.

The average chic is the one that usually does not approach and is the girliest of the girls.
 

Tha Realnezz

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I'm an average looking guy to most women face wise but i'm pretty tall and wellbuilt and I dress like i'm stepping out.

So I would say that puts me in the seven plus area dare I say 8 to black and puerto rican women.

I'm approached on a weekly basis.At the club or at parties girls always come up and grind on me or introduce themselves to me ,so basically yeah.

And I think only some white and asian girls go for face over body/height/total package.

I've never heard a girl call a freind of mines(should be in movies..no homo) HOT,they say he's handsome or cute but he can't get anything past an 8 cuz he's not in shape and he's average height.While on the other hand girls have said i'm "hot".

So you guys tell me..

Imo :Height/Body & Fashion take precedence unless you're just butt ugly.Of course there's plenty of women that only go for a cute face,they are women after all.But post 17 most chics want a hot body.
 

Vypros

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Tha Realnezz said:
Imo :Height/Body & Fashion take precedence unless you're just butt ugly.Of course there's plenty of women that only go for a cute face,they are women after all.But post 17 most chics want a hot body.
Most girls want a "thug" because they are the only real "manly" people left in our country today. Not sayign that "thug" is "manly", but they are the closest things to "manly".

Looks are relatively immaterial to a girl. They count for something, but only a small part of something.
 

Tha Realnezz

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^Pretty much I agree.

I don't think neccesarily a "thug" mentality is the answer but a more serious,more sexual approach, is neccesary for more people on this site.

You can't attract a girl if you're trying to be her equal.
 

mrRuckus

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Fuglydude said:
My question is: Why don't the girls approach?
Because that would require actively doing something productive that could possibly hurt their little feelings.
 

Vypros

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mrRuckus said:
Because that would require actively doing something productive that could possibly hurt their little feelings.
You sound bitter.
 

mrRuckus

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Vypros said:
Men are hardwired to spread their "seed" across as many women as possible (much like the buck is trying to do during the rut) and women are hardwired to proactively preselect who will be the most likely to survive and be the most apt to protect and take care of her offspring.

So, a women CHASING a guy is unnatural because it voids this "natural" litmus test that is hardwired in her. Or rather, it'snot natural for a woman to do this, because of the way she is hardwired.

Hence, men approach, and females SELECT.

In short, it's all about natural selection and things that are hardwired into us as a species.


So what we need is a new social construct then to overcome the biology.

I mean, we're basically set up naturally as men to go catch a woman and have sex with her and it's not up to her whether or not she has sex with us because we catch her and just take it. But we set up a social construct to overrule what is natural and labelled this as bad (rape).

So now we need a social construct that says "hey wimins, approach guys because if you don't, the good ones are getting laid by other loose women loosening their morals in the name of feminism, so stop the crying that there are no good guys when you are sitting on your butt letting your ass grow bigger because you can't stop loving the delicious taste of butter and approach guys instead of being so passively boring and expecting men to yet again shoulder anything that you consider to be unpleasant." (having to have a job, killing bugs, catching mice, almost all dangerous jobs, approaching, paying for dates, going to war)





As a side note, i'm wondering if rape is really that bad. Is it only mentally damaging because society says it is and that notion just gets reinforced over and over causing women to be ashamed and feel violated because they're told to be? Did cave ladies become emotional wrecks after the cave dude just took what he wanted? I'm not really thinking of "back alley, beat her because i'm a psycho with control issues and put my peener in her for good measure" type actions, but the more mundane non-violent types. Or is it too taboo and an emotionally charged type of question that gets your burned at the stake and ridiculed for daring to think about unpleasant things?
 

mrRuckus

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Vypros said:
You sound bitter.
It's the truth. They call approaching a man's job because it's the most convenient way to get out of having to do something uncomfortable. Anything uncomfortable that women COULD do themselves is delegated to being a man's job and you get looked at queer and less of a man if you dare to mention otherwise.

My ex, for example, said this in regards to initiating sex.
The same for "planning dates." Anything she didn't like to do or was scared to do became a man's job. Anything that men usually exclusively get to do she revelled in doing though if it was a fun thing and she'd scoff at more "womanly" type things saying they were sexist and she wouldn't do them if it was uncomfortable or involved work. Hypocrisy. Just an example of one female.
 
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