Article:
We all thought that guys were the ones afraid to settle down or tie the knot, but here in Richmond it’s the ladies who are guilty of a recent bout of hesitation. Lately, quite a few attractive and successful men in their 20s have lamented their struggles in finding women their age, who are interested in something serious. They have higher education, great jobs, are fit and attractive, and they’re really just ready to settle down with the right one. You’d think these guys would be in high demand—so why are they coming to me for help? They say women in Richmond aren’t serious about long-term relationships.
richmond.com
Why don’t women in their early 20s want to settle down?
(1) Girls just wanna have fun
Cyndi Lauper’s words still ring true. We live in a “hookup culture” today that places a greater emphasis on fun and physical connections than it does on lasting relationships. Historically, we’ve associated this perspective with males, but maybe that’s just because we’ve always been told that they’ve always been that way. Is it time to accept the fact that young woman are entitled to “play boy” years just as much as the guys are?
(2) We take care of ourselves
Back in the day, women used to base their dating decisions on finances far more than they do today. These days, the ladies are making more money and pursuing their careers with more ambition than ever. With more women graduating college than men, getting married later, and having kids later (or not at all), we don’t need men in the way that a lot of our grandmothers did. I’ve actually had women in their 20s tell me they’re concerned that men might even be distractions from their career and income goals. They aren’t interested in settling down early on.
(3) Women have high standards
Maybe women just realize that the right man is worth waiting for. Why would they settle if they don’t have to? And what are the chances of meeting your soul mate in your 20s, anyway? They might just be waiting for the perfect match, which they think will come later in life when everyone is more stable and mature.
(4) Or maybe it’s low standards
On the flip side, maybe some women are settling every day in these short-term relationships, with guys who really aren’t worth their time.
(5) They aren’t thinking ahead
Have you heard the saying “Girls date jerks but marry nice guys”? That could be part of what’s happening here, too. It’s almost always more fun when you’re only focusing on the here and now. A lot of ladies aren’t putting thought into finding truly compatible partners who share their values and relationship goals. That just may not be a priority for a 22 year old. Down the road, many of these women might have an “aha” moment where they decide that they are ready to meet the right one. But for now, they’re young and their priorities lie elsewhere.
————
Thoughts?
We all thought that guys were the ones afraid to settle down or tie the knot, but here in Richmond it’s the ladies who are guilty of a recent bout of hesitation. Lately, quite a few attractive and successful men in their 20s have lamented their struggles in finding women their age, who are interested in something serious. They have higher education, great jobs, are fit and attractive, and they’re really just ready to settle down with the right one. You’d think these guys would be in high demand—so why are they coming to me for help? They say women in Richmond aren’t serious about long-term relationships.
Dating in Richmond: Why don’t women in their early 20s want to commit?
Maybe it’s a result of recent frigid temperatures, but RVA women in their early 20s have been hit with a case of cold feet.
Why don’t women in their early 20s want to settle down?
(1) Girls just wanna have fun
Cyndi Lauper’s words still ring true. We live in a “hookup culture” today that places a greater emphasis on fun and physical connections than it does on lasting relationships. Historically, we’ve associated this perspective with males, but maybe that’s just because we’ve always been told that they’ve always been that way. Is it time to accept the fact that young woman are entitled to “play boy” years just as much as the guys are?
(2) We take care of ourselves
Back in the day, women used to base their dating decisions on finances far more than they do today. These days, the ladies are making more money and pursuing their careers with more ambition than ever. With more women graduating college than men, getting married later, and having kids later (or not at all), we don’t need men in the way that a lot of our grandmothers did. I’ve actually had women in their 20s tell me they’re concerned that men might even be distractions from their career and income goals. They aren’t interested in settling down early on.
(3) Women have high standards
Maybe women just realize that the right man is worth waiting for. Why would they settle if they don’t have to? And what are the chances of meeting your soul mate in your 20s, anyway? They might just be waiting for the perfect match, which they think will come later in life when everyone is more stable and mature.
(4) Or maybe it’s low standards
On the flip side, maybe some women are settling every day in these short-term relationships, with guys who really aren’t worth their time.
(5) They aren’t thinking ahead
Have you heard the saying “Girls date jerks but marry nice guys”? That could be part of what’s happening here, too. It’s almost always more fun when you’re only focusing on the here and now. A lot of ladies aren’t putting thought into finding truly compatible partners who share their values and relationship goals. That just may not be a priority for a 22 year old. Down the road, many of these women might have an “aha” moment where they decide that they are ready to meet the right one. But for now, they’re young and their priorities lie elsewhere.
————
Thoughts?
