Why does this one bother me so much? She shouldn't.

[the_untold_history]

that's interesting. but it also says something about how accepting you are of drama in your life and perhaps even some chaos. and I suspect that you would not be doing this with every woman you next. But hopefully you know what you're doing.

 

[49au]

Yep, I probably sound (more than) a little crazy myself.

I equate "average" and "stable" with "waste" and "boring." I like to be challenged, stimulated, and figure things out. I want to play the game at a high level.

That desire can be good for some areas of life (like business, if your risks pay off), but it's admittedly not great for relationships.

 

[whatwg]

Her ex says she values her man's income. You say she was trying to convince you to drop your income to relax a bit.

Sounds like she was trying to overcompensate. She does all this stuff to hide from herself the fact that all she likes is money.

 

[49au]

I wouldn't get so philosophical about it. Just another victim of the Cluster B emotional rollercoaster addict if you ask me.

A couple years ago, I went on a five cage diving trip to Mexico to see gigantic great white sharks. I spent thousands of dollars, and I loved it. I wanted to observe an apex predator in the wild. I didn't get out of the cage, but I got as much photo and video as I could.

That's kind of how I feel about girls like this.

That said - I am fully aware that Cluster B types aren't optimal LTR, marriage, or mother material. My mother was like this and I know the biggest disservice I could do to my future children, is stick them with a crazy mother. It's counter intuitive to the entire idea of carrying on my genes.

Let me add that if(not sure if you are or not, but I did) you feel like she wouldn't be wh0ring around with all these news guys if you had just stuck with her and been Cpt. Save a ho, its not true!

I actually don't think she's fvcked any of them. She's secretive about the guys she actually has fvcked, but it's very obvious. She has a hard time regulating her emotion. She's using them as tools. If she's already banging another guy, he's not showing up on her FB, trust me.

But these girls are so desperate for validation, they can literally never be satisfied. No matter how "alpha" you are, or how strong your frame is. They will never stop fighting you, and one of their favorite tools is triangulation.

The best you can do is hope to exploit their tendencies in the short term, and use them instead of letting them use you. That is the hardest part to keep in check, and I think it's good for guys to exercise that power struggle sometimes.

Her ex says she values her man's income. You say she was trying to convince you to drop your income to relax a bit.

Sounds like she was trying to overcompensate. She does all this stuff to hide from herself the fact that all she likes is money.

I showed her a weakness and she exploited it, for sure.

What's so amusing is that while she makes good money (27yo girl making ~$132k), she's like $250k in debt. I would never consider marrying a woman with that kind of debt - I don't care what her salary is. By the time she's done working to pay off that debt, her usefulness as a mother is gone. Her eggs are old.

These "career girls" - they have no idea that guys who make MORE than them usually just want a barbie doll, and guys make LESS than them will generally be unable to handle the leverage this gives her. Oh, and they age faster than a lot of women, because of the insane stress and work hours.

I admire more the girls who just devote their time and bodies to becoming optimal LTR/marriage material, and who take simple jobs, not careers (with the obvious caveat that she does this by choice, not because she's unintelligent or ugly). These women are signaling that they're not going to be attached to massive debt, a demanding career, or even a city. They're flexible.

 

[MikeOck]

That said - I am fully aware that Cluster B types aren't optimal LTR, marriage, or mother material. My mother was like this and I know the biggest disservice I could do to my future children, is stick them with a crazy mother. It's counter intuitive to the entire idea of carrying on my genes.

I have a theory that we are all attracted to people who resemble our opposite gender parent in some way as they are our primary roll model for what a mother/wife/woman should be, even if logic contradicts our experiences. This would help to explain why you found yourself attached to this woman and why you are having trouble letting go.

 

[May_Day]

You sound like you enjoy the attention you are getting from her. You dumped her so move on.

 

[New_Age_Prodigy]

So I recently (and rather coldly) broke things off with a girl I'd been seeing for a couple months.

I absolutely loved hanging out with this girl. The sex was great, and she gave me all I wanted. And she's very fun, very active, has a lot of friends, etc. Very easy to talk to.

So I enjoyed her. And I kept a very solid, dominant frame.

The reason I dumped her is that I realized what a wh0re she is, deep down.

And it bothers the fvck out of me.

Why is this?

Why am I so angry that this girl has probably banged more guys than most dudes have (she's 27)? That she's obviously been passed around her group of friends?

I even found out that she was almost shown on Jersey Shore, drunk at a club, licking "The Situation's" abs. Doing that is dumb enough - but doing it on tape for potentially a national audience to see? Her sex drive is obviously stronger than her common sense or decency.

But I have feelings for her. Don't get me wrong - not the kind of feelings I had when I was 18 and couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't think, couldn't get past "the one". I've grown past that garbage. It's more like a gnawing, persistent ache, knowing that I miss her, knowing that I shouldn't, knowing that she's bad, and wishing she wasn't. Wishing she could - and would - change for me.

I'm still working, functioning, hanging out with friends, and spinning plates. But she definitely got to me.

Surely this happens to other guys. Maybe this is what women feel when they talk about the *sshole that they know they should leave, they just can't resist him.

If a guy (especially a younger guy) came to me and asked about this girl, I could give him a bullet list of warning signs, poor behaviors, and reasons why she is destined to do break your heart. And I've given myself the list.

Logically, I know she's toxic - and I am doing fine with letting logic override my feelings. But why should I feel something for a wh0re in the first place?

Have I fvcked girls and never spoken to them again? Of course. Have I fvcked girls multiple times and not given half a sh!t about them? Definitely. Have I quickly identified slvts and used them for fun, being wary of any emotional investment whatsoever? Absolutely.

But I think this one really caught me off guard, and despite being wary of her even from the jump, I allowed myself to get caught up in her game, to fantasize that she was some other kind of girl, that I was "special", that I could tame her. I let all the red flags whiz right by my head - and though initially I said I would never consider her for an LTR (and I meant it), she was slowly breaking down that resistance over a couple months. It took her openly disrespecting me for me to realize that yes, there is starting to be some feeling here. And then all of a sudden, at the risk of being hurt, all the red flags came sharply into focus. I've realized that I dumped her more for fear of her growing power over me, than over any particular one act. But why should a woman I initially classified as a crazy wh0re be able to provoke any reaction or possessiveness in me at all?

Is this a failure of inner game, or just a product of being human?

Just some random thoughts. Feel free to flame me for being AFC.

I know exactly where you are coming from man, I'm kind of in a similar situation unfortunately.