Why Does This New Approch Work?

[lighthouse1956]

I'm widowed 10 months now, and when I told women that I'm on my second life now and what to start enjoying life again, I had good results. But when I tell then 'sure, I miss the sex, but really miss holding her afterwards, spooning next to her and putting my arm over while we slept' the women really seem to go wild. It seems the last approch borders on AFC, so DJers, why is it working better? I feel like a wuss when I tell them that.

 

[Randallpink83]

truly sorry for your lose.

But they probably just think its sweet. Their is nothing AFC about being sweet and charming to girls..... as you can see yourself, it makes them go wild.

 

[Dongfu]

When you say that second part it makes you sound needy and super-attached to you departed, which is normal. But when a woman hears this, she does not want to tread into this territory. She may feel that you will be thinking of your previous wife all the time, or she may be afraid that you will expect the new girlfriend to do for you what your wife did.

keep to the "I'm ready to live life to the fullest again" attitude. That is attractive to women. Muttling in the past is not. Best of luck.

 

[Randallpink83]

...well correction... being sweet and charming could easily be AFC i suppose if you are AFC about it... know what I mean?


just be DJ about it... Be a man, but allow yourself to vibe off a females softer side. Its a fun vibe to play in.

 

[lighthouse1956]

Thanks Randallpink, I'm just worried that I'd appear too 'sensative'.

thanks Dongfu, I'm actually doing ALOT better with the second approch. I'm not complaining that it works, I'm just being honest, but it doesn't seem to fallow the 'game' plan.

 

[Dongfu]

how old are you, if you dont mind me asking

 

[lighthouse1956]

I'm 51, married for 27 years

 

[lighthouse1956]

No, I don't really feel AFC about it, I usually rub her arm and lean close and whisper it to her. Most women I met are widowed or divorced, and they tell me they miss that, too.

 

[Epic]

I'll tell you why it works better. The statement wasn't AFCish because as far as they know, your wife deserved your love and attention, which I'm sure she did. Besides, you were married to her for 27 YEARS. Anybody who would think you're a wuss for missing her, is just a straight up jacka$$. They go wild because you potrayed yourself as a strong man, who isn't afraid to admit that he likes sex or that he loved and genuinely misses his wife. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't long for someone who was that close and important to you. Listen guys, all being a DJ is about, is embracing your masculinity and respecting yourself; avoiding any sensitivity is going to hurt you in the long run if you're looking for an LTR. It will make you appear cold and emotionless, which usually is caused by some weakness. It's not AFCish to have a heart. It's not AFCish to value a woman. It's AFCish when she is undeserving and you place her value above your own to such an extent that you become a puppet and a doormat. If she feels that she is constantly earning your affection there's no problem. Anyway, I wouldn't deliberately put it out there, because it would seem like a line and therefore be disrespectful to your wife, but I wouldn't hide it after all you loved her and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

 

[MacAvoy]

It works because they realize that you are every women's dream, you truly loved you wife. If played right, you could lay these women on the first night.

 

[Desdinova]

...well correction... being sweet and charming could easily be AFC i suppose if you are AFC about it... know what I mean?


just be DJ about it... Be a man, but allow yourself to vibe off a females softer side. Its a fun vibe to play in.

Randallpink hit the nail on the head. "AFC actions" (for lack of a better term) will put off any woman if they're delivered with desperation and a lack of confidence. You can get a woman a boquet of roses, give them to her in an extremely confident and non-desperate way, and it will not chase her away.

Confidence is always the key.

The only underside to using typical things to romance women is how the AFC has conditioned the woman to respond to these things. AFCs will give women flowers to win her over, and women know this. They will eventually relate the delivery of flowers as a desperate attempt to win her over. That's why non-typical gift choices are the better bet - you won't have a problem with her recieving "mixed signals" due to the conflict of your confidence, and the message that a romantic gift generally conveys.

 

[potato]

I'm widowed 10 months now, and when I told women that I'm on my second life now and what to start enjoying life again, I had good results. But when I tell then 'sure, I miss the sex, but really miss holding her afterwards, spooning next to her and putting my arm over while we slept' the women really seem to go wild. It seems the last approch borders on AFC, so DJers, why is it working better? I feel like a wuss when I tell them that.

It works because you know what you like and what you like shows some commitment. It shows you to be in control of your emotions. A lot of women, and especially mature ones, actually would like a man to me like this with them. Putting your arm over them as they sleep makes them feel safe.