Why Does this Keep on Happening?

[nicksaiz65]

This is about the third time that this has happened now. I'll get a girl on Snapchat or Tinder and she'll respond back for the first few messages, and she'll even be asking me questions. But then, I either get blocked, unmatched, or left on read. I don't think that my messages are particularly creepy or anything like that.

Why on Earth does this keep on happening? I'm guessing it'll happen less as I continue to raise my SMV.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

Depends, what exactly do you want to happen? Is your profile interesting and engeneer to catch what you are looking for? Are you being direct and not texting all daylong? All this apps are just filters, illusions, i used to use something called badoo, and landed like 3 women in my bedroom just by lying and saying i worked as a surgen.
These women must have thought i was wealthy, but by the time they found out I lied, I was already in bed with them, sad that I did this but I learned a lot. One became my gf.

What I learn, your profile or whatever you are using should be clever enough to get the "number" make the date and hopefully score.

If what you are doing is not working try something different.

 

[R.U.G.]

This is about the third time that this has happened now. I'll get a girl on Snapchat or Tinder and she'll respond back for the first few messages, and she'll even be asking me questions. But then, I either get blocked, unmatched, or left on read. I don't think that my messages are particularly creepy or anything like that.

Why on Earth does this keep on happening? I'm guessing it'll happen less as I continue to raise my SMV.

Simple. They're just doing this for validation. You replied and shown interest. Thus, they get the dopamine boost and they're done. Or, someone with a higher SMV hit them up and you're now plan B. Happens to all of us bro. Don't take it personal. This is standard operating procedure for O.L.D.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Simple. They're just doing this for validation. You replied and shown interest. Thus, they get the dopamine boost and they're done. Or, someone with a higher SMV hit them up and you're now plan B. Happens to all of us bro. Don't take it personal. This is standard operating procedure for O.L.D.

Yet another clue that I need to keep on raising my SMV

 

[nicksaiz65]

Simple. They're just doing this for validation. You replied and shown interest. Thus, they get the dopamine boost and they're done. Or, someone with a higher SMV hit them up and you're now plan B. Happens to all of us bro. Don't take it personal. This is standard operating procedure for O.L.D.

One thing that I never understood though. After they'd stop responding to my messages. I would tell them hi in the real world just trying to be friendly. And they'd look freaked out or just stare at me. Like what the fvck? Just because you're not attracted to me doesn't mean you can't treat me like a human being.

 

[R.U.G.]

One thing that I never understood though. After they'd stop responding to my messages. I would tell them hi in the real world just trying to be friendly. And they'd look freaked out or just stare at me. Like what the fvck? Just because you're not attracted to me doesn't mean you can't treat me like a human being.

You are young and your thoughts and feelings are understandable. Women are strange creatures and just because they chatted with you through messenger, doesn't mean they've already formed something with you. You are still a stranger to them, as they are to you. Even after you meet a woman a few times over a month or so, you are still basically strangers on your best behavior. They are not looking for friends on a dating app. They are looking for one of three things. One, sex with the highest SMV they can obtain. Two, validation on how many men are interested in them. Three, beta orbiters who just stick around hoping, wishing and praying they'll just get a shot at them. Don't be in the last two categories. When a woman drops off contact or closes you out, you're done with them. Should they reach out to you at a later date, cool, then you can entertain something. Whereas, cut the chit-chat and setup a drink date. If they are under drinking age, buy them a coke or something.

Within three to four messages, you hit them up for a date. They say yes, you ask them to shoot you their number or connect with them on Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger. You then set a time, date and place. If they drop off or they have to get back to you, next them. Should they reach back out, you can entertain seeing them, but only if you are chill and don't think anything about it. I can read by your posts you are an emotional guy and you care what they think. Nothing wrong with that. However, caring about someone who doesn't care or who hasn't even met you yet is irrational.

You need to work on yourself (frame and game), and I got you covered with some very valuable homework to do.

First up. Watch my boy AMS on Youtube. He'll show you how the game is played. Next, check out the Red Man Group / Entrepreneurs in Cars
and Aaron Clarey.

As for some reading material:

As always, the DJ Bible
The Book of Pook
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The Rational Male

The Youtube channels and books above will teach you about female nature and how to handle it. It's best to learn now than learn later the hard way. Work on yourself first. If you are in college, knock those grades out of the park and land an amazing high paying job. If you do not work out, start. College gyms are free and they have what you need, heavy weights. If not, you can join a gym for 10 bucks a month or just buy some used gym equipment on Craigslist for a hundred bucks. Make sure your hygiene, clothes, shoes (very important from a woman's perspective) and whip are tight. Get some good smelling cologne for the nightlife and spray once back of the neck, once under both wrists and once on the back of each sock. Reason being, the scent travels up and if you are sitting down or the woman is shorter than you, you want her to smell it. Everyone has their opinions on what cologne to use, but I like Creed Aventus. It's expensive, but well worth it. Check eBay for samples to see if you like it. Another good one is Acqua Di Gio By Giorgio Armani. Again, check eBay for samples or go to your dept. store to try them all out. eBay would be the best place and cheapest place to buy the good stuff.

There you go. HTH and you'll learn the game. Just don't sweat it when a O.L.D. THOT ghosts. Sadly, it's part of the game. Oh, and get off Tinder. You'll eventually catch Herpes or something.. Stick with Match.com or Bumble.

 

[Murk]

Post some chat logs so we can see how the convo is flowing, how are we expected to give advice with no info? You are probably boring, not flirting enough or flirting too much in a cringe way. It all comes down to pics and comms on OLD/Social Media.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You are young and your thoughts and feelings are understandable. Women are strange creatures and just because they chatted with you through messenger, doesn't mean they've already formed something with you. You are still a stranger to them, as they are to you. Even after you meet a woman a few times over a month or so, you are still basically strangers on your best behavior. They are not looking for friends on a dating app. They are looking for one of three things. One, sex with the highest SMV they can obtain. Two, validation on how many men are interested in them. Three, beta orbiters who just stick around hoping, wishing and praying they'll just get a shot at them. Don't be in the last two categories. When a woman drops off contact or closes you out, you're done with them. Should they reach out to you at a later date, cool, then you can entertain something. Whereas, cut the chit-chat and setup a drink date. If they are under drinking age, buy them a coke or something.

Within three to four messages, you hit them up for a date. They say yes, you ask them to shoot you their number or connect with them on Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger. You then set a time, date and place. If they drop off or they have to get back to you, next them. Should they reach back out, you can entertain seeing them, but only if you are chill and don't think anything about it. I can read by your posts you are an emotional guy and you care what they think. Nothing wrong with that. However, caring about someone who doesn't care or who hasn't even met you yet is irrational.

You need to work on yourself (frame and game), and I got you covered with some very valuable homework to do.

First up. Watch my boy AMS on Youtube. He'll show you how the game is played. Next, check out the Red Man Group / Entrepreneurs in Cars
and Aaron Clarey.

As for some reading material:

As always, the DJ Bible
The Book of Pook
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The Rational Male

The Youtube channels and books above will teach you about female nature and how to handle it. It's best to learn now than learn later the hard way. Work on yourself first. If you are in college, knock those grades out of the park and land an amazing high paying job. If you do not work out, start. College gyms are free and they have what you need, heavy weights. If not, you can join a gym for 10 bucks a month or just buy some used gym equipment on Craigslist for a hundred bucks. Make sure your hygiene, clothes, shoes (very important from a woman's perspective) and whip are tight. Get some good smelling cologne for the nightlife and spray once back of the neck, once under both wrists and once on the back of each sock. Reason being, the scent travels up and if you are sitting down or the woman is shorter than you, you want her to smell it. Everyone has their opinions on what cologne to use, but I like Creed Aventus. It's expensive, but well worth it. Check eBay for samples to see if you like it. Another good one is Acqua Di Gio By Giorgio Armani. Again, check eBay for samples or go to your dept. store to try them all out. eBay would be the best place and cheapest place to buy the good stuff.

There you go. HTH and you'll learn the game. Just don't sweat it when a O.L.D. THOT ghosts. Sadly, it's part of the game. Oh, and get off Tinder. You'll eventually catch Herpes or something.. Stick with Match.com or Bumble.

Right. So if I get unmatched, I can just assume that they're not attracted to me, were just using me for validation, and NEXT them. Kinda sad how women work like that, but that's just the real world, I suppose. I've actually had some great successes on OLD, but it seems like whenever I find a girl I really like, I get ghosted. Gotta keep raising that SMV.

And you're right. One of my weaknesses is that I can be extremely bipolar and emotional, although I'm trying to get better with that. This is with my life in general. If things are going well, I'm ecstatic. If they're not, I'm in the worst mood ever. That's where that outcome independence comes in, I suppose. I feel like that will be easier as I continue to raise my SMV and self esteem.

AMS is amazing. He tells it like it is. I'm going through all his YouTube Videos and reading through his book at the moment. I haven't heard of the other three though. I have read The DJ Bible, The Book of Pook(my all time favorite), and The Rational Male. I haven't read No More Mr. Nice Guy, though. I'll have to look into that. Considering that I'm too nice in general and people think they can walk all over me, it might be prudent for me to read that.

I've made leaps and bounds on my fashion and then girls who showed no interest in me before suddenly started talking to me and touching me more. I gotta be more consistent in the gym though. One of these days I'd love to squat 500. And I've never heard of those colognes, I'll have to try them out!

I made a thread on this earlier, but one thing I always wondered for college, are sober dates ok? Like let's grab some coffee sometime kinda dates and then maybe an action date kinda activity after that. People are obsessed with alcohol, drugs, and parties so I didn't know if it was ok to just do sober dates in conjunction with "lit" dates.

Thank you for the really detailed reply. It helps a lot.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Post some chat logs so we can see how the convo is flowing, how are we expected to give advice with no info? You are probably boring, not flirting enough or flirting too much in a cringe way. It all comes down to pics and comms on OLD/Social Media.

I've thought about that, I'm gonna start doing that in my Field Reports. It'd probably make it easier to follow instead of me just giving a general overview. Can't do that for Snapchat unfortunately though unless I just memorize the conversation

 

[Desdinova]

Why on Earth does this keep on happening?

Because you keep trying to meet women through an online medium. Go out, build a social circle, and meet some women in real life.

 

[sosousage]

uninstall this **** time wasting app until u get good job and 10/10 look and pictures.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

I just wanted to add, you keep mentioning to raise your SMV, from my experience, you can be very wealthy and have a high SMV, but still fumble the football. Worse, meet a woman who will ruin your life. See the video on youtube by Diana Davison, Exposing How Women Manipulate Men

Better to * get yourself well emotionally before you go into the field. You do not want to be stuck paying child support and miss out on life.
Good luck buddy.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I just wanted to add, you keep mentioning to raise your SMV, from my experience, you can be very wealthy and have a high SMV, but still fumble the football. Worse, meet a woman who will ruin your life. See the video on youtube by Diana Davison, Exposing How Women Manipulate Men

Better to * get yourself well emotionally before you go into the field. You do not want to be stuck paying child support and miss out on life.
Good luck buddy.

I’ll check the video out. And yeah, I really do have lots of Inner game to work on still. These issues go way deeper than I thought at first

 

[R.U.G.]

Right. So if I get unmatched, I can just assume that they're not attracted to me, were just using me for validation, and NEXT them. Kinda sad how women work like that, but that's just the real world, I suppose. I've actually had some great successes on OLD, but it seems like whenever I find a girl I really like, I get ghosted. Gotta keep raising that SMV.

And you're right. One of my weaknesses is that I can be extremely bipolar and emotional, although I'm trying to get better with that. This is with my life in general. If things are going well, I'm ecstatic. If they're not, I'm in the worst mood ever. That's where that outcome independence comes in, I suppose. I feel like that will be easier as I continue to raise my SMV and self esteem.

AMS is amazing. He tells it like it is. I'm going through all his YouTube Videos and reading through his book at the moment. I haven't heard of the other three though. I have read The DJ Bible, The Book of Pook(my all time favorite), and The Rational Male. I haven't read No More Mr. Nice Guy, though. I'll have to look into that. Considering that I'm too nice in general and people think they can walk all over me, it might be prudent for me to read that.

I've made leaps and bounds on my fashion and then girls who showed no interest in me before suddenly started talking to me and touching me more. I gotta be more consistent in the gym though. One of these days I'd love to squat 500. And I've never heard of those colognes, I'll have to try them out!

I made a thread on this earlier, but one thing I always wondered for college, are sober dates ok? Like let's grab some coffee sometime kinda dates and then maybe an action date kinda activity after that. People are obsessed with alcohol, drugs, and parties so I didn't know if it was ok to just do sober dates in conjunction with "lit" dates.

Thank you for the really detailed reply. It helps a lot.

Women change their feelings like the wind changes direction. One minute they are hot, then next they are not. It's all hormonal. You reach out, ask and proceed from there. They say no, you just say no problem, take care. They ghost, move on. You are investing too much into women you've not even met in real life yet. Invest in yourself and everything else will follow. Do not make women a priority, make YOU the priority. Yes, read No More Mr. Nice Guy. This will give you a good basis on how to build some basics on your frame and attitude towards women.

Sober dates are fine. Do an activity or even. Heck, do a picnic if the weather warrants. The point is you are there to learn about each other and hook up. Not try to impress her with what you can do for her. This is about building a connection that leads to some sort of intimate encounter. For activities, check out Living Social and Groupon. You'll save tons.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Women change their feelings like the wind changes direction. One minute they are hot, then next they are not. It's all hormonal. You reach out, ask and proceed from there. They say no, you just say no problem, take care. They ghost, move on. You are investing too much into women you've not even met in real life yet. Invest in yourself and everything else will follow. Do not make women a priority, make YOU the priority. Yes, read No More Mr. Nice Guy. This will give you a good basis on how to build some basics on your frame and attitude towards women.

Sober dates are fine. Do an activity or even. Heck, do a picnic if the weather warrants. The point is you are there to learn about each other and hook up. Not try to impress her with what you can do for her. This is about building a connection that leads to some sort of intimate encounter. For activities, check out Living Social and Groupon. You'll save tons.

I just bought the book on Amazon. I’ll read it once school lightens up a bit. And that’s good to hear about the dates. I like partying but I’m not trying to be inebriated 24/7 like some people. And thanks! I’ll check those out when I go home for Winter Break as well, that could give me some more opportunities to Cold Approach too.

 

[sazc]

On OLD my conversations will stop if there's nothing to chat about.....

If he simply answers my questions, and doesn't give me anything to respond to, I get tired of carrying the conversation and stop replying.

If the conversation has been about surface stupid sh1t, like the weather and such, for too long, (no depth) I let i go (boring and nothing real to talk about)

Sometimes conversations start out great and then fizzle to nothing.

Be sure to strike while the iron is hot.

In truth, probably only 10% of my OLD conversations are interesting enough to keep taking and eventually meet

 

[AttackFormation]

On OLD my conversations will stop if there's nothing to chat about.....

If he simply answers my questions, and doesn't give me anything to respond to, I get tired of carrying the conversation and stop replying.

If the conversation has been about surface stupid sh1t, like the weather and such, for too long, (no depth) I let i go (boring and nothing real to talk about)

Sometimes conversations start out great and then fizzle to nothing.

Be sure to strike while the iron is hot.

In truth, probably only 10% of my OLD conversations are interesting enough to keep taking and eventually meet

Got any live examples of what you considered interesting?

 

[sazc]

Got any live examples of what you considered interesting?

For me it really boils down to things in common. Places we have lived in common, shared ideas, shared interests, shared experiences.

This last guy I talked to told me about how he had social anxiety but read some books and that cured him, so we started talking about which books. He had just moved from Colorado, a place I love. He asked for and got my number.

The other side of the story is that he then lost me when he told me he was married but separated and hadn't gotten a divorce because of a ton of debt and, at 43, had zero in savings and zero retirement

But it was going well for him up until we chatted about all of that.

 

[Papa_smu]

For me it really boils down to things in common. Places we have lived in common, shared ideas, shared interests, shared experiences.

This last guy I talked to told me about how he had social anxiety but read some books and that cured him, so we started talking about which books. He had just moved from Colorado, a place I love. He asked for and got my number.

The other side of the story is that he then lost me when he told me he was married but separated and hadn't gotten a divorce because of a ton of debt and, at 43, had zero in savings and zero retirement

I like to play on @sazc 's reply here.

Take note on how her match told a story during the conversation

From my experience using online dating, it is much like maintaining a blog where your audience is your potential matches. And your audience is seeking the best match for themselves, however, more importantly, she wants a good story to get lost in. So, when you build your profile and look back at your past convos with these girls ask yourself:

"How well does my description flow? Does each section seem like it transitions well?"
"Does my introduction stand out? How is it different from all other profiles? Does it hook?"
"If I am standing out, am I who I say I am?"
"What about my pictures? Does it describe who I am on its own? Does it need the rest of the profile?"
"When I open, does it hook? Is it something about her profile? How can I keep the threads open?"

Conversations are great but let's remember she wants to get lost in your story. If you mention that you make music using synth waves mixed with Billy Withers greatest hits because you bombed your mid-term, and the first thing you heard coming home was "Ain't No Sunshine", then that's going to take fewer messages to number-close.

Then when you close and invite her out to this EDM party or that you're playing the violin at this bar you work at. She's not just lost in your story, she is IN your story.

This is really the secret to attracting women. In fact, storytelling is the secret to getting with anyone. Hence why online dating is so difficult. Not only are you competing against hotter men, but also the ones that can craft better stories.

 

[jaymbrs]