Why does this happen?

[ElectroPanic]

Hi all,

Well I got played again :cuss: This is not the only time this has ever happened to me, in fact it happens quite often and I don't understand it. Here's the situation: Noticed this new chick at my work and caught her eye a few times, smiling at each other. The next day (did not approach the same day, too much work to do) I ask her a question to initiate conversation, introduce myself, it appears to me I'm getting a good reaction. I ask her what she's doing friday night, she says "going to movies with her girlfriends", figuring this was not a negative reaction, I asked her if she wanted to hang out on the weekend and she almost immediately responded "sure" I then got her number and went back to work. Which brings me to the Saturday after I got her number. I call her, get her message (not a fake #:crackup: ) and leave one asking what she's up to for the night and give her my number. Since then, there's been no response, nothing, no call back. What the hell went wrong guys? Like I said this is not an isolated incident.

 

[Fash]

Happens to all of us mate.

Out of every 10 numbers I collect, only one results to anything.

The only explaination is that women are stupid and they change their minds all the time.

Two things to consider though...

1) she is no longer interested/met someone else since then/changed her mind for whatever reason
2) She has been genuinly busy and hasnt had a chance to call you back. If she likes you, she WILL call back, if she doesn't.... her loss! next her.

 

[rocky_mtn]

Couple of mistakes I see are:

- if you ask her out and she's busy, wait a couple of days, and ask her out another time. Going with a counter-offer date puts her in control.

- calling on the same day asking for a date to hang out is bad, this assumes that she doesn't have anything planned and waits for someone to call on short notice. This decreases her perceived social standing.

Don't call her back, when you see her again at work (or if she calls you), nicely ask her how her weekend was. Don't mention getting stood up. Don't ask her out again, unless you want a repeat. Chat it up with her and build her interest.

For dates, set something up a couple of days in advance. Try a weeknight short date for a first date. Also, plan on something, instead of 'hanging out'.

This girl seems to not be interested. Chicks will say 'sure' because they don't have any balls (which is a good thing) But then will give the silent treatment, because they can not be direct and upfront.

 

[Permission]

About 1 out of 4 numbers I get will be a flake. 3 will be good.

I think what you have to work on is building a better rapport. I think the initial conversation you had with her was kind of boring. Tease her a little bit. Joke around. Play with her. Then ask to go do something.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You're playing with fire when sarging at work. You can skrew up your reputation if things don't work or even worse, you could lose your job if it is determined that it's impacting the business.

But to answer your question, women are notorious for giving out their telephone number (real or fake) just to get rid of a guy. Personally I just bypass the number and tell the woman what I'm doing on a particular day and that she should meet me there. If she's interested she'll either accept the invitation of give me a counteroffer if she's busy.

 

[S1NN3R]

Hi all,
I ask her what she's doing friday night, she says "going to movies with her girlfriends",

Never try to ask a girl out for the opening night of a Johnny Depp movie. They all have that night planned months in advance.

But like others said, nothing really went wrong exactly. You didn't get stood up because you had no plans. ASking a girl if she wants to "hang out this weekend" and her saying "sure" is like when your mom used to ask you to take the trash out and you saying "I'll do it in a minute". It doesn't mean anything. By giving her an out, you're ensuring that she'll respond positively, even if she doesn't really want to, because she can say "sure" and if nothing comes of it, you don't really have any valid reason to get pissed. She can say her phone was off, she can say she went out of town, she can say anything really.

This is a classic example of how NOT to ask a girl out. First, you immediately went from asking her out on one day to going to teh next day, which can show her that you're not really in demand if you have two days in a row that you're looking for something to do. If a girl denies my first suggestion without offering an alternative right then and there, I generally go into *well damn, that was the only time I had available to you, I'm booked up for the next few weeks* mode.

Then you let her get lost in the vagueness of "hang out" and "this weekend". Always offer a date in a way that requires a YES/NO response. Instead of "hang out this weekend" say what you want to do and when you want to do it. It puts her on the spot where she can't rely on ambiguities. You'll probably hear more "no" than doing it your way, but a "no" from an uninterested girl is worth more than a "sure" from one, since with no you can confidently move on knowing that she's not interested. An uninterested girl will say "sure" because it's easier to give you the chance to lose interest and move on by yourself than it is for her to man up (so to speak) and tell you to your face that she doesn't want to play with you.

Lastly, you're not playing the numbers game enough. If 10 girls blow you off, ask out 11 girls. Missing out on one girl wouldn't effect you so much of you had 20 other possibles in the pipeline waiting. Hell, some people on here derive their success from and ONLY from the numbers game, never trying to improve their game, just hoping that their lame game will work on 1 out of 1000 girls, so they just approach 1000 girls. I don't think that's a good way to do things, but unless every single girl you approach drops panties for you everytime, you HAVE to play the numbers game, just don't rely on numbers and nothing else., and you should be fine.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Never try to ask a girl out for the opening night of a Johnny Depp movie. They all have that night planned months in advance. .

:crackup: :crackup:
That's so fvcking obvious, I should have caught that!

 

[Reloaded]

Roffl!

 

[ElectroPanic]

Well here's an update guys:

She just texted me a little while ago, saying she was out with her friends and boyfriend. Well I guess there's my answer. NEXT.

 

[Ratisson]

next time u phone a girl, dont leave a message. All it does is cause misunderstandings

 

[IsiMan84]

Well here's an update guys:

She just texted me a little while ago, saying she was out with her friends and boyfriend. Well I guess there's my answer. NEXT.

Well there's some form of an explanation for you. Whether she was lying or not, things didn't look too great off the bat anyways. Oh well, more time saved to use on other girls.

next time u phone a girl, dont leave a message. All it does is cause misunderstandings

Yea about that, the only time I leave a message nowadays is if I don't plan on calling them ever again unless they respond. Most girls screen calls like no other and will listen to the message instead of talking to the actual person. If I get the feeling they are that type then I don't give them the luxury of knowing what I was calling about.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Man I don't know if anybody mentioned this yet but never ask what she is doing on the weekend.

Just say "we should do something this weekend"