Why does this always happen?

[LostAndConfused]

Out of the last 10 girls I've dated, I've followed through with a second date with only TWO of them.

In fact the most dates I've ever been on with a girl was four, and the fourth really didn't count because it was a double date and I could tell within 10 minutes that she no longer had interest.

With these other girls though the dates always seem to go really well, I hook up with them every time, but I don't like to go farther on first date.

This last girl I went out on a date with this weekend didn't even contact me until I dropped a text to her a couple of days later (today) and she said she would "talk to me later." (IOD - probably bent over doggy style with some other guy then).

So what gives?

 

[JDA70]

I think the members here including myself here can help
but you got to give out more information then that.

Pick one of your girls and tell exactly and simply how the
date went.

 

[KarmaSutra]

The only question I need to know is why do YOU think they all fell short?

Before you go all spastic and get wishy washy, get a little introspective and tell us what these girls all see in common in relation with you. Be completely honest. If you're a pig and eat with your hands, say so. If you had a booger dangling from your nostril, say so. Are you graceful in social situations?

Try to see yourself through another person's eyes.

Then we can move on to them.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Ok so I had a great date with this one girl who was similar to the last one (I talked to her afterwards and she shows very low interest).

I picked her up from her house, we talked in the car for a bit, flirted of course, and I took her to the movies. During the movie I did alot of push pull, we hooked up alot. I would stop kissing her and suddenly turn back to the movie and it really seemed to work. Typical date really. At the end of the date I hooked up with her in the parking lot until security told us to leave. I dropped her off and she seemed to enjoy it but what do i know, i never took her out on a second date!

sorry i couldn't get more descriptive than that, unless you have specific questions. anyways nothing went wrong as far as I could see although you guys can probably notice more.

The only question I need to know is why do YOU think they all fell short?

Before you go all spastic and get wishy washy, get a little introspective and tell us what these girls all see in common in relation with you. Be completely honest. If you're a pig and eat with your hands, say so. If you had a booger dangling from your nostril, say so. Are you graceful in social situations?

Try to see yourself through another person's eyes.

Then we can move on to them.

This is probably a weakness of mine, your idea was good but I really can't see why it fell short! One time the girl's friends went up to us during the date and they told her later (and she told this to me) that I was really cute and seemed great.

Maybe they fell short because they had nothing better to do that day except go out on a date with me, and I'm a good looking guy so why not?

:EDIT: maybe I don't convey enough about me on the first date?

 

[bukowski_merit]

I picked her up from her house, we talked in the car for a bit, flirted of course, and I took her to the movies. During the movie I did alot of push pull, we hooked up alot. I would stop kissing her and suddenly turn back to the movie and it really seemed to work. Typical date really. At the end of the date I hooked up with her in the parking lot until security told us to leave. I dropped her off and she seemed to enjoy it but what do i know, i never took her out on a second date!

She may have felt like a S!ut afterwards and may feel like she'd do even more with you if you guys hung out... especially if you're in any way sexual with her when you're talking to her the 2nd time around...

So, explain exactly how you approached her for the 2nd date, and what she said, etc...

how old are these girls btw?

 

[JDA70]

I dropped her off and she seemed to enjoy it but what do i know, i never took her out on a second date!

Why what happened?

Also...
Is this happening with most of your dates?
I mean going out, kiss getting down her pants a little
then droping her off only to never get another date?

 

[LostAndConfused]

Why what happened?

Also...
Is this happening with most of your dates?
I mean going out, kiss getting down her pants a little
then droping her off only to never get another date?

Haha thats what I'm asking you guys, what happened? I didn't take her out on a second date because she dropped a ton of subtle IOD (disinterest), which every ONE of these girls do....

ie: very short 1-3 word text responses, killing conversations, not initiating conversation(the biggest indicator of them all), replying hours later to texts, sounding a little unenthusiastic/uninterested on the phone.


And to your second question, yes yes and YES! Thats why I posted the thread in the first place, I go out with girls, make out with them, drop them off, and they seemed like they had a great time.

I don't even try to get down their pants on the first date because it seems a little too forward and maybe one or two of these "slvts" are actually not slüts at all, you know?

 

[Energizer]

Have you ever thought that these girls might not want any sexual stuff on a first date, why not try and show some self control on these dates. They probably think you are only after one thing and aren't prepared to be used and then disposed of afterwards.

 

[DonGorgon]

Girls have soo many options that they dont really need to spend much time assessing potential mates.. they will just move to the next dude even if they like you.. its just that simple for them.. no obligation ... You have to be something very specially or they have to be drunk for you to have an easy time...

 

[LostAndConfused]

Have you ever thought that these girls might not want any sexual stuff on a first date, why not try and show some self control on these dates. They probably think you are only after one thing and aren't prepared to be used and then disposed of afterwards.

Um didn't I just say on the post above you thats why I DONT do anything sexual with them?

I said I stick with making out on the first date, how am I NOT showing self control? Girls make out with guys all the time.

 

[Igetit!]

Um didn't I just say on the post above you thats why I DONT do anything sexual with them?

I said I stick with making out on the first date, how am I NOT showing self control? Girls make out with guys all the time.

Ummm..LostAndConfused..I don't think understand what Energizer was getting at here. You say that girls make out with guys all the time. This might be true,but making out with a guy and dating him are two different things. Just because you make out with a girl doesn't mean she wants to be your girlfriend,just like two girls can kiss each other,but that doesn't mean they're lesbians. My spider sense is tingling because of this statement you made. I get the sense that of you were to give a complete,accurate account of your basic dating structure,we might be able to find out where you keep going wrong and give you some help. And I mean a complete account:from when you got her number,to the first date,to how the date went and what the conversation was like,to whether or not anything sexual happened on the date,to the point where the girl decided that she didn't want to go out with you again.

You said that this has happened to 8 out of the last 10 dates you've had. So pick one of the 8,the one that's the closest to what you normally do,the let us know the details.

 

[LostAndConfused]

I'll give you an account that's complete as possible, but you know its hard to remember these (this is why I think most of these "report journals" are fake).

Ok so this one girl who I dated and put me in the friend zone but I still hook up with her from time to time:

I was at this event with my friends and they started talking to a group of people from their school so I left and started walking around. I met up with another friend and we walked around just talking to people we knew.

These two girls who were a little tipsy comes up to us and starts flirting. They were good looking so I flirted back and me and my friend separated, we took a girl and then went off walking around. I pretty much took her by the arm and saw all there was to see then I isolated her and playfully tossed her to the ground and started hooking up with her. She passes out lol.

Her friend and my friend come back after hooking up and my friend tells me that I shouldn't fvck her because she's drunk, but she really was only a little intoxicated and I waited for her to sober up before I spit real game.

I walk around and meet up with some of my other friends and she pretty much follows me around, and she's sober and I isolate her yet again and start hooking up with her along with some feeling action (nothing too sexual though) and I put my number in her phone and leave.

She texts me later really flirty and I flirt back a little and after a while I tell her that I'm taking her to a scary movie and she's all up for it. So I pick her up from her house, take her to the movies, alot of kino, I start up conversations with other people and at the movie we had the chairs that had the cupholders that lift up so we could sit in real close. I then take her to a restaurant and we just talk for a little bit, and I take her home and kiss close.

She sends me a text afterwards saying she really enjoyed herself (about half the girls I date text afterwards, half don't) and I try to take her on another date but she flakes on me, but I keep a level head and when she asks me out on a date I flake on her (I was going to go to some party anyways).

Then she calls me up sometime later telling me to meet her at some place and hang out so I do it and we hook up a bit and it goes pretty well but she's obviously not as interested as before.

A little while later she asks me to watch movies at her house, but she doesn't even let me hook up with her, but she did give in a COULPLE times (wouldn't let me because of problems with some other guy). I realize I'm in the friend zone. She tries talking to me a little bit later but I just ignore her.

The problems with the other guy sorta hinted to me that she was trying to make me her emotional tampon even though I've hooked up with her and felt her up a couple of times. She didn't really care too much to tell me about her problems however, she just told me thats why she couldn't do anything with me.

And ok, so I realize that one isn't THAT normal (what i did on the date however was fairly typical of me), so I'll post another one

So I'm at this party and I see this girl and start dancing on her. I flirt a little but its mainly just touching and feeling, then we hook up.

I get her number, drop a few texts then I go out on a date with her to some funny movie. I toy with her alot going in for the kiss then pulling back and I was pretty sure it worked and we made out alot in the movie too. I hook up with her in the car a little then I drop her off at her house, end date.

Not much else to say, I did see her friends at the movies and they thought I was hot which should only help me out but she still never talked to me afterwards and when I initiated contact she was "busy."

She REALLY seemed interested though during the date, not so much at the beginning but as it progressed she seemed more and more interested. More so than the other girls I've dated, even ones who I've gone out for multiple dates with.

 

[Igetit!]

This is funny. I ought to make you reread your own post to let you see what I see when I read it. In both the examples,the one you gave that wasn't typical and the one that was,you mentioned the same thing over and over again. You know what it was? In every example you gave,you keep saying that you "hooked up" with the girl. You say that over and over again.Now,I'm not sure if your definition and my definition of hooking up are the same. Mine is when you have sex,or at least any and everything leading up to it,that is,everything except the actual act (intercourse).

So if that's what you mean by "hooking up",then the solution is simple. What I think is happening is you're causing buyer's remorse in the girl. You meet a girl,then on the first date,you get too physical too soon. The reason she doesn't want a second date with you is because she had sex with you, or virtually everything leading up to it,when in reality she doesn't really know you. So when she looks back at the first date and everything she did with you,she feels dirty or too easy. And she thinks that you think that she's easy too. So she avoids you,because you and the feeling of being too easy/slutty are linked together.

It's classic buyer's remorse. The next time you go on a date with a girl,do everything you normally do,but DO NOT "HOOK UP",meaning have sex,or foreplay. Holding her hand,fine. Hugging,fine. A light make out,fine.
Anything below the waste for both you and her,that's a no-no. Fooling with her chest,that's kind of iffy,but just for experiement's sake,try to avoid that as well. This may be difficult to do,but keep in mind the alternative of the girl not wanting a second date. To recap,STOP HOOKING UP. Just go out,talk,laugh,build attraction and comfort,a little kino here and there,maybe a kiss or two,but that's it. Try that,and I'm sure that this"1 date and done" curse you're going through should be lifted.

 

[JDA70]

HI LostAndConfused

Haha thats what I'm asking you guys, what happened? I didn't take her out on a second date because she dropped a ton of subtle IOD (disinterest), which every ONE of these girls do....

I'm interested in what's going on here.
THat shouldn't be happening.


Are you taking them out on traditional dates like the movies and dinner?
IF you are then stop doing that and try some fun stuff like a pool hall,
arcade or bowling ally.

How is your outer game?
Do you shower, wear nice shoes, wear nice clothes, have a nice hair cut,
have clean theeth and fresh breath? Is your car clean?

How much time are you spending on the phone?

Are you talking about her or about you most of the time?

 

[LostAndConfused]

Shït yeah I forgot that different groups of people use different definitions of hooking up. By hooking up I mean frenching, making out, nothing more.

Im so sorry for making you type all that out Igetit

With girls I really dont' care about, yes I get really physical but I go INTO it knowing its a one time deal.

With these girls I'm only making out (frenching), nothing more. The first girl I dated recently after I start learning seduction I did the "buyers remorse" sort of deal and I learned from it.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Are you taking them out on traditional dates like the movies and dinner?
IF you are then stop doing that and try some fun stuff like a pool hall,
arcade or bowling ally.

Yes.

I've TRIED to make first dates something interesting, usually suggesting bowling or arcades but they almost ALWAYS flake on me then later on ask me out on a regular date.

You know that first story that I said was "different" with the girl who flaked on me and I flaked on her? Well I tried to take her bowling but she apparently didn't want that.

How is your outer game?
Do you shower, wear nice shoes, wear nice clothes, have a nice hair cut,
have clean theeth and fresh breath? Is your car clean?

My outer game is probably my best feature, UNFORTUNATELY.

I used to spend alot of time on kinowear, I have my own style now (edgy well fitted clothes). If you REALLY need to I can take a picture.

I used to be really scrawny (5'7" 120 lbs) but I've bulked up and lost fat at the same time, I'm about 5'9" 155-160 lbs pretty much lean muscle. So I'm fairly strong.

I shower before EVERY date. My teeth are extremely white too

Usually my breath is better than the girl's to be honest, I've kissed some girls with NASTY breaths. Goddämn you'd think being a female they'd have great smelling breaths all the time :crackup:

My car is a problem, the thing is 20 years old and I have no way to improve it or buy a new one for several years I can't get a job because of sports commitments and school. I usually just make a C+F comment on my car, jokingly, and they don't SEEM to mind

For outer game, the only thing that could really be holding me back is that I'm biracial (black + white), and my skin is fairly dark (halfway between the two).

How much time are you spending on the phone?

Are you talking about her or about you most of the time?

I really don't spend much time AT ALL on the phone. Seriously. I've experimented with some girls that I've number pulled who were cute but not something I'd want a relationship with. Talking more on the phone really doesn't help. many of them flake still. not that I care. I text girls more often. And it's pretty much equal, if I notice her talking more about herself I usually transition it over to me with a c+f remark.

I keep my phone calls short. I usually call just to set up dates, but I've been fine setting up dates to text and calling when I get there.