Why does she stay in my head?

[The Comeback Kid]

As a Freshmen in college, I feel I have improved in every way - confidence level, talking to girls, and physical appearance - and feel great/at ease when talking to attractive girls. I seem to get numbers pretty easily and can hold attention/conversation quite well.

Lately though, I've realized I cannot get one girl out of my head. We have met several times before - there is always good rapport and I can put a smile on her face. We talk every week, but I don't see her as much as I'd like. There is one lecture we share together, but we never get to see each other in there. I get there with time to spare (so I'm sitting in the middle/front) while she rushes from another class and arrives a minute or two late (so she is in the back). At the end of class, she has work in the same building the lecture is in, so she gets out of there quickly (she works at the front desk). In short, it has been tough for us to see each other often. We have also fell into a habit of PMing each other via Facebook atleast every week (I want to space them out so it doesn't seem too frequent).

Over the past few days, things have gotten a little more interesting. We just had a test in the class. A few days prior, I offered the idea of a "study date" (of course I didn't say date, but when I ask if we can go over the class stuff together, she knows what I mean). She said that her schedule this week is hectic (it is) and she had a gym class that evening...but she offered a rain check, asking if there is a chance we can set up something before our next test - the final.

This past Wednesday, I saw a lot more of her than I usually do. First, I took my usual run to the gym (about a mile) so I can get a nice weight workout in (I run/lift 4-5 days a week, so I do head to the gym a bit). On my run, I see her walking towards me, texting on her cell. I give her a little nudge as I pass, and she turned around real quickly (we both waved or acknowledged each other). Later in the day, I realize I gotta go to this Freshmen pre-registration meeting for my academic school in my University. One of the students helping out...her (she is a sophomore). I talked to her briefly twice, using some C+F on both occasions. Also, we had to get handed our registration number cards. There are six people helping out with the cards, and by some odd coincidence, she gets the stack that has my name in it.

So there's the summary. To help answer a few questions:
-Perhaps I keep thinking about her because she conducts herself very well. She doesn't play games, she isn't a slvt, and is an overall very good/nice person. Her looks don't hurt either.
-I have usually started the PM chats on Facebook. We usually type about the same length in our messages - I usually can keep them pretty short, but sometimes go a little bit longer.
-When we've talked in person, she talks more than I do, which is great. Too many times, I end up getting short and quick answers from chicks. I can actually hold a conversation with this girl, because she has a great personality and seems interested due to her giving complete answers.

My question now is, how do I go about making a move? I feel I need to see her a little more in person, and I won't ask her out over the phone (I'll get her number) and definitely not online. I know I'll be seeing her in a couple weeks when we go over our class stuff, but I don't want to do nothing in between. I have two tix to the major aquarium minutes from my University, but I think that's a better 2nd or 3rd date. I know this seems pretty basic, but perhaps your thoughts could help me further explain why seeing her in person is a little tougher than usual (completely different class schedules and living in different dorms are biggies).

 

[Fred Da Head]

Just make the fricking move. Ask her to go out for coffee or whatever the hell you want to do. Get her phone number, call her up, and figure something out.

Pending that, GFTOW.

 

[da_hunter]

hate to break it to you - but if you are making threads about her on an internet message board, chances are, it won't work out with this girl

 

[woods]

The longer you wait, the less chance you have.

 

[Wyldfire]

You know where she works...so scoot your butt over there right before she gets out of work and ask her if she wants to go get a drink or something to eat.

 

[naes420]

i used to obsesce over girls like this it gets no where and ur gonna fuk up ,the best option is to just clear ur thoughts of everything and just not give a **** about life and kick back and get so high or drunk u dont care if u wake up in the morining

 

[Fred Da Head]

the best option is to just clear ur thoughts of everything and just not give a **** about life and kick back and get so high or drunk u dont care if u wake up in the morining

Great advice. NOT.

Stop posting you f**ktard.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I apprecaite the advice. I know you guys are right - the sooner, the better. However, things are much easier said than done.

I'm home for the three-day weekend we have, so I'll be back on Monday and then we have that class together Tuesday (though due to timing I don't see her). Now I said I know when she starts work, not when she ends work. Obviously, I can walk to the desk she usually works at right after class, but there seems to be quite the line at that time (I had to ask for something there a few weeks back and then I happened to pass it again the next week - both times before I had feeling for this girl).

The other small problem here is that I don't feel I know her quite well enough yet to go on an actual date. Hence, asking her to go out to lunch is good since it won't take too long, and it gives us the chance to get to know each other better.

My question is, how would I go about smoothly suggesting/asking her to lunch when she is at the desk? I know the other staff members who work there and they know me, so if I simply ask her and she says no, it may be hard showing my face there again for a little while (they deal with everything that goes on at the specific school at my University). I mean, this same situation will present itself on Thursday too, but I feel the sooner, the better.

 

[Obsidian]

The other small problem here is that I don't feel I know her quite well enough yet to go on an actual date. Hence, asking her to go out to lunch is good since it won't take too long, and it gives us the chance to get to know each other better.

Wyldfire was right. Go see her at work. Use C&F. Then say, "let's go get coffee (or whatever) when you're through here. When do you get off?"

The fact that you're obsessing over this girl means this will probably sound worrisome to you, but that's really the only way to do it.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Wyldfire was right. Go see her at work. Use C&F. Then say, "let's go get coffee (or whatever) when you're through here. When do you get off?"

The fact that you're obsessing over this girl means this will probably sound worrisome to you, but that's really the only way to do it.

Simply asking her as you say is not the worrysome part - I won't get nervous, and I won't crack under the pressure. My only concern here is the fact that the people that she works for will also be seeing/hearing this (it's not like I can isolate her real easily here). These other people know me as well - by name and by face. They help run the school and I usually talk to them when arranging appointments with my academic advisor. Think about that awkwardness with them if my attempt doesn't work, since chances are I'll be seeing them again.

As for asking her "when she gets off work," this class we have together is not my last class of the day. :crackup: So if she gets off too close to the start of my other class, that won't work. I always could try to "borrow" her from her work for a little while, but if I botch that up, that won't exactly make things smoother with the other people working there in the near future.

 

[Wyldfire]

So what if they see...if she is reacting favorably to you all other times what makes you think she is going to suddenly turn into some evil monster who crushes you in public while they all point and laugh at you? The worst that will happen is that she will politely decline the offer and you will say, "okay, cool...see ya around" and leave. The best that will happen will be that she says yes, you go out and get to spend more time getting to know each other and take it from there. But you are never going to find out what could happen if you don't pull your finger out of your arse and just ask her out. Even if she were to say no, it's better than obsessing over this for ages. JUST DO IT...

 

[The Comeback Kid]

if she is reacting favorably to you all other times what makes you think she is going to suddenly turn into some evil monster who crushes you in public while they all point and laugh at you?

This has actually happened to me before - twice. Yes, both of these other times were in my high school days, but it still looms in my head a bit when it comes to asking out girls. The first girl that did this to me was an AW so I can see where that one came from. The other time was just weird - she told me to ask her out, then when I did ask her out she runs for the hills.

The worst that will happen is that she will politely decline the offer and you will say, "okay, cool...see ya around" and leave. The best that will happen will be that she says yes, you go out and get to spend more time getting to know each other and take it from there. But you are never going to find out what could happen if you don't pull your finger out of your arse and just ask her out. Even if she were to say no, it's better than obsessing over this for ages. JUST DO IT...

True. Definitely agree with you here. I can open with how we did on our exams (we get them back on Tuesday) and then offer her the chance to enjoy a casual lunch with me. :yes: Plus, sshe is definitely more mature (in terms of behavior) than any other girl I've been interested in, so she should be pretty good about the whole thing.

Although I really do not like asking someone out in front of others (I like to isolate), getting a "no" is better than regretting not asking her and having to think about "what could have been."

 

[Modro]

Study date = not good

Do action my friend

 

[jamescr73]

sounds like you have a case of oneitis. she is a challenge for you, and thats why you obsess over her. study date i think is ok. just dont really study. study for 20 minutes, then go do something else. make something happen when your "studying". You know what im talking about. Be a man. put on the pants, and make shlt happen.

 

[Meccamputechture]

She stays in your head because she's a great gal. Make sure you hold on to this one.

 

[flows101]

She stays in your head because she's a great gal. Make sure you hold on to this one.

HAHAHA she stays in his head because he wants her to stay in his head.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Here's a little update. Nothing special, since nothing really happened, but here it is anyway:

We get out of class, slowly walk around to her desk...and there's a line (like I thought). Luckily I saw the line from a spot she couldn't see me at, so I just walked around for a few, spoke to my dad on the phone (he called, wanted to see how I did on my test). So after that, I begin to walk right to the empty line where she is...but some "nerdy" chick who can't speak English well runs right in and is in need of urgent assistance. My expression was priceless here lol...it was an "are u serious?" expression, but I don't think the girl I like saw it. Since she already saw me walk in, I decided to entertain myself for the 10 or so minutes that I had to wait (the other person was asking really basic questions too, but couldn't understand the basic answers). I was right there, so the girl I like saw me pretending to read the magazine on the nearby table and then read the school newspaper.

After that other person leaves, my turn! :yes: The girl looks up, sees me and says "Can I help you?" but is also hiding a little smile and I think she knew I wasn't actually there for any real help. :crackup: Also very interesting to note was that the guy who is usually there (why I made this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=121936) looks up, sees me, and leaves the scene.

Basically, our convo went like this:
HB 8.5: Can I help you (knows it's me and that something's probably up)?
TCK: not really (smirk). Oh, how'd u do on the test (I was holding it, so it made a good convo starter)?
HB 8.5: I did pretty well.......etc. How'd u do?
[we then talked about the test for a minute. She mentioned how one part of the test hurt her score a little]
TCK: cool. So what time do you get off work?
HB 8.5: uugh, 5:00 (this convo takes place at 12:30).
TCK: Damn - that's rough. I'm gonna go grab a quick bite and I'd invite you to "tag along", but you still got some time here.
HB 8.5: yeah ...
TCK: (jumped in right when I figured a pause was coming) So I'll be expecting a rain check.
HB 8.5: haha ok.
-I then ended it and went about my way. It's a good thing I ended it when I did b/c seconds later, my academic advisor enters, we say hi, etc. I really did not want my advisor seeing me hit on a girl lol (awkward).

Before you make any snap judgements about how I should have pressed for dinner or something like that, I feel a casual lunch date is the way to go here. First off, it's much less formal, and there really isn't much anticipation building leading into it. Second, it's a good atmosphere to get to know each other better. Third, college students usually don't have lunch plans, but do have dinner plans. Getting a lunch date is easier. Finally, a lunch date is shorter (people have class, work, etc.). There is a much lower risk of running out of conversation topics, since there is less time.

Any thoughts on this whole thing? I really am unsure if "ok" means good or bad, so I can't make any conclusions yet. I usually try to study a girl's eyes when she says sometthing like this (if looking at you, good, if looking away and to the right, bad), but I honestly cannot remember which direction her eyes "twitched" at this moment. I'll probably get this rain check thing in order, offering her the privlige to eat with me after my classes on Friday (early afternoon, and I think she is done by then too).