Why does it feel like I'm constantly being disrespected

[ThunderMaverick]

Wish you well with it Thunder. Don't let any problems fester, deal with them straight away in future. Make sure you know what you want and don't use past experiances define who you or the GF is now.

Right. Thank you for understanding. Keep in mind if I thought that she was blatantly disrespecting me she would be gone faster than fat people sitting down. As I said in the other post it's also a deeper issue that I don't think ANYONE (aside from Bible Belt) will understand, so I had to take this issue to another forum that "specializes" in the kind of girl my girlfriend is. lol

I'm a vet of this forum. Through knowledge and experience I know what's good for me and what isn't. I know what works and what doesn't. Thank you for you input guys. I'll keep you posted.

 

[cordoncordon]

Right. Thank you for understanding. Keep in mind if I thought that she was blatantly disrespecting me she would be gone faster than fat people sitting down. As I said in the other post it's also a deeper issue that I don't think ANYONE (aside from Bible Belt) will understand, so I had to take this issue to another forum that "specializes" in the kind of girl my girlfriend is. lol

I'm a vet of this forum. Through knowledge and experience I know what's good for me and what isn't. I know what works and what doesn't. Thank you for you input guys. I'll keep you posted.

So you are choosing to ignore the plethora of guys on here who have basically said to dump her-she's bad news, and instead take the one guy who is saying what you want to here and go private. All over a girl who just skimming through thread has:

participated in bandage photo shoots>HUGE red flag I mean wtf??

been abused in the past

totally disrespected you by going out with the said sex photographer AFTER you told her you don't like the guy and don't want her being around him

was all ready to go out with an ex without telling you

who lives in the ghetto and appears to have no real future

Seriously TM, you are one F'd up individual. Don't misunderstand me, I think you are a super nice guy, but your need to "save a ho" and to be loved is beyond my comprehension and understanding. You are putting up with things in this relationship that should not even be part of the equation. Why? You should know better.

 

[jophil28]

Keep in mind if I thought that she was blatantly disrespecting me she would be gone faster than fat people sitting down.

Not quite sure what you mean by that.

Do you mean ".. deliberately disrespecting me.." ?

I get the impression that you are willing to believe that her disrespect is unintentional and is symptomatic of some emotional disturbance which originated in her upbringing. Hence your investigation of her condition on another "specialized" forum. Perhaps this is really another way for you to see her behavior as a lesser sin and therefore not dumpworthy ?

I wish you all the best in navigating this dilemma, however, I suspect that before you are done you are in for one rocky ride.

 

[hithard]

so I had to take this issue to another forum that "specializes" in the kind of girl my girlfriend is. lol

Hoping that its not but let it be known if it's anything to do with Bpd or bi-polar the issues just keep reappearing after a few years. It’s a cycle of ups and downs that you never escape from. Just when you think everything in the relationship has changed for the better (and years can pass of inactivity)
BAM it all goes back to hell.
It is vicious, and unless you have a powerful powerful frame then your ego and self-worth will be chipped away. Every guy thinks "Yeah but this is different this time"
It isn’t...
I know I tried with every breath to make change with all the resources I could find for the sake of my kid. From interaction through my child the next guy is a total mess because of the ex .

Like I said hope it isn't bpd

 

[cordoncordon]

Not only that, but to see you this upset to where you have made threads in two different forums on this website, AND another more "specialized" site? Is that website called "How to peacefully coexist with BPD, abused, cheating, disrespecting, ghetto, fetish model ho's without going insane and losing my self respect?" Bro, someday you are going to look back at this and say to yourself "wtf was I thinking".

 

[cordoncordon]

Keep in mind if I thought that she was blatantly disrespecting me she would be gone faster than fat people sitting down.

Ok but she is. Apparently your definition of disrespect and mine are two different things.

 

[Bluntmaster]

What the f-ck? Here is TM's other forum.

http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/246208/

 

[cordoncordon]

What the f-ck? Here is TM's other forum.

http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/246208/

TM you really are messed up. YOU are the one who needs help right now, not this girl. I'm stunned. A poetry site????????? This girl has you screwed up right now beyond belief.

 

[hithard]

What the f-ck? Here is TM's other forum.

http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/246208/

Oh TM how could you cheat on us with that homo of a forum

 

[sodbuster]

A big part of this is you. "Read transforming anxiety transcending shame" by Rex Briggs MSW. It may answer questions you don't know how to ask.

 

[UniKKatiL]

If she really liked you then she wouldn't go out with other guys.
What if you started going out with your ex? Or with a woman that was hitting on you in-front of her? How would she like that? She wouldn't put up with it, and neither should you.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Obviously, this is going to end horribly.

It's arrogant to believe we can "fix" another human being. You may think you know what's best for her, and that she will repay you for your kindness, but this is not a fairy tale. Would you take a thief into your home and expect him not to rob you because you showed him kindness? You aren't owed anything from this girl, because she has made it clear that she is damaged and will blame all subsequent failings on this fact.

She's testing herself so she can become more assertive? Come on, man. A committed partner WOULD NOT place herself in a compromising position in the first place. You KNOW she's just feeding you a line--she gets off on the validation and loves having this slimeball fawn over her.

You are setting a very precedent by refusing to put your foot down and instead trying to empathize with her. She clearly doesn't appreciate your empathy, because it is not making her change her plans.

Also, the fact that you were able to rise above a childhood of poverty and abuse means that you have EARNED the right to be with a well-adjusted girl--not one that is threatening to drag you back down. You, more than anyone else, deserve a good woman.



This is an example of one of the failings of this site--reasonable advice is ignored as soon as emotions come into play....and we say that WOMEN are the irrational ones...

 

[hithard]

It's arrogant to believe we can "fix" another human being.

Here is the line to take on board. The most we can do is give advice and hope it is noted by posters.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

TM STOP TRYING TO BE A HERO!!! We've all been in this situation before and you know what you need to do. It's only been 4 months, so you shouldn't let this affect you that much.

Be honest with yourself... You deserve much better than this, so make a rational decision. Don't listen to your heart, because you know when we listen to our hearts it always goes down south. You don't need this drama in your life bro.

You are having this many problems in the short term... Imagine having an LTR with this girl, she's gonna drive you through the roof man.

You know when sooo many people give you the same advice you should take it. If you don't then you face the consequences.

You know what to do... We don't need to discuss anymore.

 

[SoldMySoul]

What the f-ck? Here is TM's other forum.

http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/246208/

How in the fvck did you find that? Yo, Blunt, you a sneaky mutha!!!!!! You put TM on blast son!!! Bluntmaster= Watch yo a$$ cause he is going dig dirt up.

It is apparent to me and et al that Thunder has lost his way and his heart on this girl. He is absolutely stunned over her and it shows. He is going to have a very difficult time dealing with life and everything else when this girl destroys his heart. Too bad!

 

[L B]

Have you tried to post on a third forum call the something shack? They will probably give you what you want to hear better. They will help you dig a deeper hole.

Seriously, too many flags here, very painful to read this thread. It reminds me of my failure days.

Take time to yourself for a few days and rethink this whole thing. Is she really worth all drama?

 

[Greasy Pig]

This poses an interesting question for me.
DJs are supposed to be supremely confident, nonchalant and calm in the face of women's bullsh!t.
I took this to mean that if a woman tried to make you jealous by doing this sort of sh!t that a DJ just played it cool and said 'Whatever'.
BUT
What I see everyone here saying to TM is to let her know that behaviour is unacceptable which seems to indicate you're letting her know you're jealous.

Don't get me wrong, TM should definitely dump this moll but I guess what I'm confused about it is how do you let a woman know she's overstepping the mark without coming across like a needy, jealous chump?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Hey OP just take the pain now, you are spending all your energy to avoid the pain but delaying it just makes it worse.

You waste more time and energy avoiding pain than just taking it head-on; end this chapter of your life and move the fvck on, hopefully with a thicker skin too.

 

[Bible_Belt]

As I said in the other post it's also a deeper issue that I don't think ANYONE (aside from Bible Belt) will understand

I'm not sure I understand why it is that I would understand. Does she have borderline personality disorder? With a life that fvcked up, it's likely.

If she is borderline, then it's abandonment drama that she craves, which is why she will keep exes orbiting near enough to her to always be sad about the abandonment. It's not that she won't cheat, it's just that cheating is not her foremost goal, once again it's the abandonment drama.

It's easy to keep a bpd girl in your life forever, but it's pretty miserable to try and be her committed boyfriend. If she doesn't fear you leaving her, then you are boring. BPD girls love to be the "other woman." They want to chase something they can never have, because then the abandonment sadness will never end. They are like abandonment junkies who always have to get their fix.

Everyone else says to run away, which is of course the smart thing to do, but if you do stay with her, stop trying to be Mr Perfect Boyfriend. That will never work. Instead, learn about bpd and the way it controls her decision-making. If you know her disorder well enough, it is like being able to read her mind.

 

[zekko]

Don't get me wrong, TM should definitely dump this moll but I guess what I'm confused about it is how do you let a woman know she's overstepping the mark without coming across like a needy, jealous chump?

Very good question, and it shows you're paying attention. The answer is being able and willing to walk away from the bad behavior. The needy jealous chump is hooked, and can't walk away. That's what makes him needy.

It's funny how Mr. Bondage Photographer apologizes (to her) for disrespecting TM for pulling his girlfriend's hair, but then asks her out for lunch (and she says yes). That's just disrespecting him on a whole new level. If this wasn't so pathetic it would be hilarious.

Don't buy into this idea that girls want to put into your head that it's okay for them to be basically dating other guys while they're supposedly exclusive with you. They try to get away with it by trying to shame you into thinking you're a backward jealous clod. Don't buy into this nonsense. Expect more from your women and you just might get it.