Why does internet advice differ so much from real life?

[GreatHornedOwl]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.



I've just noticed internet advice seems very rigid and structured, but it seems like it doesn't play out like that in real life. Has anyone else noticed this?

 

[SW15]

No idea. Perhaps your anecdotes are outliers in real life. Most women that texted cancelation notices to me never saw me. I'd also like to point out that I never got last minute cancellations prior to the advent of smartphones. Before smartphones, women didn't have the guts to make phone calls to cancel. Of course, some would just no show in person with no phone call. So maybe text message allowing for last minute cancellations isn't bad.

I've never banged a woman in my friend zone. Also, I've chosen not to be platonic friends with women.

I've not gotten involved with co-workers. I've asked out women in other companies in the same office building but that's where I've drawn the line.

 

[bat soup]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.



I've just noticed internet advice seems very rigid and structured, but it seems like it doesn't play out like that in real life. Has anyone else noticed this?

No. I've noticed the opposite.

 

[FairShake]

The internet is staffed by autists.

 

[Grounded eagle]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.



I've just noticed internet advice seems very rigid and structured, but it seems like it doesn't play out like that in real life. Has anyone else noticed this?

Ultimately it’s about finding what works best for you,according to your circumstances,personality,social status etc.And that’s the hard part I think.With all the different types of game being spewed out and all the different rules being laid down it can be difficult to discern what will work for YOU....especially when sometimes it can seem one guys advice contradicts another’s.Yeah it can be hard work,but it’s work worth doing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.



I've just noticed internet advice seems very rigid and structured, but it seems like it doesn't play out like that in real life. Has anyone else noticed this?

The reason why this happened is because you didn't chase them and act like you had no options. Just because the timing isn't right when you met them initially doesn't mean it never will be. You just keep moving forward and they will get back in touch if things change.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

a lot of guys on the internet are extremely bitter/upset and take out their feelings because it's the internet and they can't vent them out to friends or family. I'm literally dating the girl I made my first topic about, but the comments said dump her lol. In addition, you are seeing everything from a 1 person perspective. We only hear one side of the story and some red pillers will take extreme one sided stories and use it as ammo to fuel their red pill machine.

 

[RangerMIke]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.

I've just noticed internet advice seems very rigid and structured, but it seems like it doesn't play out like that in real life. Has anyone else noticed this?

If a woman sees you as a friend, that's it... you are done. If she comes around the ONLY reason this happens is something is going on in her life having nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her emotional storm of a life.

I've seen situations where chicks will get with male 'friends' and yes, that does happen, but it is rare. I've seen dudes that become a dancing grinder monkey trying to get a chick, which turns her off. Then, when he becomes her 'friend', he relaxes and behaves like a normal human being and then is more attractive.. which turns things around.

I have also seen where a chick sees a guy as 'friend-only' then he backs off, gets busy with other things then a few months later they run into each other and things have changed... women are emotional, and they respond to here and now. The bad part of this is that it really doesn't matter what you have done for her in the past... you could be an awesome dude, but your good behavior does not go in the bank... it's like that song "What Have You Done for Me Lately"... it's all about how you are showing up in the present. The good part of this behavioral characteristic is that it works the other way around... if you had been unattractive to her in the past... take a break from her, then run into her months later she will have forgotten all the sh1t that turned her off, likely only remember the good things. This is why chicks keep going back to BFs that didn't work out in the past time and time again.

Anyway... the only advice I'll give a dude is to do what you want because that is what you want. A chick wants you as a friend, and that is okay with you... then go ahead be her friend, but don't do it because you hope she changes her mind. I have plenty of female friends, and they can be great. But if you CAN'T do it because you are too emotionally attached, then walk away from her... it's not fair to you because it gets in the way of your life. It isn't fair to her either, having a 'friend' that is trying to manipulate his way into her pants.

 

[Young OG]

I've had women who I've known for years that I eventually hooked up with, that would be considered friend zone initially. I've had women tell me they were "busy" with no offer to reschedule, and we ended up hanging out like a month later and banging. I've had female co-workers who were just platonic friends, that turned into more outside of work.

You most likely didn't act like some beta chump. They ended up hooking up with you because you didn't show that you were friends with them because you wanted them. If they know some beta chump wants them and is hoping for his shot by being friends, that is going to turn them off. When you are just straight up friends and you don't show any interest past that, there is a bigger chance that you could eventually hook up. But, you should never be friends with a women just to hopefully hookup with her someday. I was friends with this girl at a old job. I showed no interest other then friends. Then at a work party, she tells me out of nowhere that she wants to fVck me. So I took her home.

The reason you move on and next women if they flake and don't give a counter offer is for yourself. It's so you don't waste your time chasing after someone who has low interest, so you don't make a fool out of yourself, and so you focus on other women that have high interest.

Not all advice online is going to be cookie cutter. You need to apply the stuff and see how it works best for you. You might have to tweak some things but you will always learn in the field, not from reading stuff on a forum or watching a YouTube video.

 

[Serenity]

Yeah, I'm familiar with this effect.

I have broken the "laws" what I should do according to common advice given on forums such as this many times, in my experience it never quite worked out as others predicted. It has been years since I started considering the advice given online to be a rough guideline, refinement can only come from personal experience.

I would recommend anyone to challenge the advice given (with caution of course) just to find out whether it applies or what specific situations it applies to. One question I have found to be very useful is "what could this person have experienced to say that?", reflecting upon that I have often reached the conclusion that the advice given is both true and false. Further reflection often identifies when it applies and when it doesn't.

This is a big thing, a piece of advice almost never applies to all situations. It's just another tool suitable for specific scenarios, well worth knowing, but not universally applicable. To really useful knowledge is when a piece of advice applies and when it doesn't.

I personally don't adhere to rigid rules, often have I gone against it with success because I was able to identify that it was the best course of action in that particular instance. While it would be a great comfort to know exactly what to do by following a simple "recipe", this is not how the world works. I regard every situation as unique and work out what to do. It requires actually using your brain, but that's how you stay on top of the game.

What we did yesterday may not be right way today. The best way is to figure it out as you go along, not to assume you know what to do beforehand.

Internet advice should be regarded as possible ideas of what to do if you lack the creativity to work that out by yourself. Like building a library of solutions instead of having to write them all by yourself. It saves time, but you still lose if you use a screwdriver when hammer is the more appropriate tool.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You raise a good point. I also happen to agree with you.

Here's my take -- On this forum, I've said several times that around half the members do not speak from experience. Instead, they've memorized a lot of "pick up" material. Is this material accurate? Sometimes, but sometimes it's not.

Some forum members feel so inadequate. You can spot them because these are usually the first to "chest thump" toward a new member that is genuinely seeking advice. It's no coincidence that these very people are usually quoting 'methods' that they've read about (passing it off as their own experiences).

And because many other members (I'm thinking about half here) have read the same material, they'll offer the posting a "like" because it resonates with the same materials that they've also read.

 

[RickPound]

I find the advice and topics discussed here way better than the google result articles I read years ago when I was looking for answers. You know...the articles written by women or “relationship advice” guys on these mainstream websites or advice columns. I remember thinking then “this isn’t the truth. there has to be something more”. It took me even more years of some ignorant/natural success and then some painful moments to look harder and that’s when I found SS.

The “rules” don’t always apply, you still need to think for yourself with any given situation, but being shown the light helps you apply actions with better principals (deprogrammed). The right thing to do in any situation might be one thing or another, but after being a part of this community you most certainly now know the wrong thing to do - which helps tremendously.

 

[Chamber36]

I have banged women where it took me a year to game them. I also have banged women from the workplace.

I never engage a "friendship" with women but I dont mind being friends with one. Sometimes they nag, sometimes they need advice. If they nag just ignore them. Just be a man no matter what. Inherently if she is confiding in you, she is emotionally cheating.

The problem with being friends with women is this: most guys may be too impatient and just want to bang in exchange for the BS. I won't bang if there is BS. If they nag, you tell them. You advise them, tell them how to fix their problem. Once they look up to you you can bang. Thing is: if you care you are screwed, but that goes for normal relationships too. So same sh!t

U can go from friendzone to fwb pretty easy once u get to know the person if she isnt a b!tch.