Why does everything on here contradict itself?

[Nannu]

Show me any of the tips you read in the bible and I will show something else in the bible or the hall of fame that contradicts it completely. One says Kino and the other says don't touch first. One says make your interest known right away and the other says be a mystery. One says learn how to read a girl and wait for the right time and another says take what you want. The list goes on and on and on and EVERYTHING CONTRADICTS ITSELF.
I am not going to BS you. I've been a student of this forum for...jeez like 1.5 years now. And it has helped me approach girls but I don't have any results yet. Girls seem to have the "look but don't touch" policy with me. I'm above average in looks and girls a fascinated by my confidence, but they always say no when I ask them for their number. They usually give me all these "wow, what a guy!" vibes and talk about me but they'll stare into blank space and run away when get them on their own and ask them out. The ones that obviously like me shield themselves against me with their friends, making it nearly impossible to get some time alone with them without coming off as some desperate fool looking for a piece of azz. Am I intimidating them? I smile a lot that doesn't make too much sense. I have been rejected so many times now that I lost count probably 50 rejections ago and it seems like a big waste of time.
I'm not so sure what to make of all this. I do know for a fact that I've been actively reading and applying the stuff in the bible for quite some time and the results are not what I had hoped for. Girls want to look so they have gossip material, but they rarely care to actually want to get to know me...even if I want to get to know them.
The bottom line for me has been: Follow the advice on this site with a grain of salt. It is no magic formula. It is merely a series of tricks designed to get girls to not have an excuse to get rid of you.

 

[krd]

Originally posted by Nannu
The bottom line for me has been: Follow the advice on this site with a grain of salt. It is no magic formula. It is merely a series of tricks designed to get girls to not have an excuse to get rid of you.

Hahaha. Yeah, I guess that's kind of what it is, but it also has to do with developing the right mindset, and improving yourself as a person. The theory being that if you are able to reach your greatest potential, you'll naturally attract more women. Is this true? I really can't say, because I haven't seen many results, myself. I always try and take the advice into consideration though, because it obviously has worked for some people.

Just as in the real Bible, there is always information that goes against some other information (you think that's how it got it's name? Actually "DJism" in itself is kind of is like the Bible, in that it tries to convince you to keep believing in it, even though you've seen no proof that it actually works!) I guess the only way you can know is by trying it. If it doesn't, then try something else. My problem is often with trying at all. I'm just so scared a lot of times, so I let a lot of opportunities go by. But I believe, it really is a numbers game. The more times you try, the better chance you have of coming upon something that will work out.

 

[vdk]

I'm am new to this site and can say most of the information works if you go in positive and a persistent in your attempts.
Not only has the bilble given me me a lot of confidence in meeting women (e.g. not putting them of a pedistool) but it has improved my overall lifestyle.

unfortunately, we do have to use some tricks to increase their interest level, however women do the same thing so we must fight fire with fire.

your rejection rate seems pretty high, but to give up now is just plain stupid. stay positive.

 

[SamePendo]

It all contradicts. In life in general. Everyone thinks they are right. Fortunately, this site isnt limited to just one school of thought on getting women. Thats why you might get confused, and think of it as contradicting. You just have to find your own way. Like religion, but I dont want to get into religion here.
Relax, and stop thinking that much in women.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Too often people go throughout life thinking there is one set of rules for something. A rule is a fixed response to a situation. A principle is a concept that can dynamically be applied to a situation. Since life is very dynamic, it would be best to find principles that worked rather than rules to follow. To demonstrate for example some posters on this site view behavior as "AFC, DJ, or Jerk" when there is no such thing. Some behavior which would be AFC or Jerk in one situation can be very DJ in another. The difference is how behavior is applied. The very weakness you had as an AFC or Jerk can be one of your most powerful tools if one can control it and use it at the appropriate times. When one has gained balance there are no secrets that won't spread themselves to you (as well as a few legs )

 

[T-4ze]

My sig sums it up. There's no one right way to do things, you gotta take different approaches on different girls, if all girls wanted to be approached the same way then it wouldn't be any fun would it? Shy girls, party girls, wasted girls, all need to be looked at seperately.

 

[es_mer8]

The more I consult the DJ guide, the more I realize that there really is no one way to set it up. Girls are different although I have to say that 80% of the ones in their late teens/early 20s have that sameness to them. The reason being that right now, girls between the age of 12-14 are getting brainwashed by almost intense media scrutiny. Go to the newsstands and you can see just how many pre-teen and young teen magazines there are. There are ****loads of them. What also is amazing is that they're all the same. They always feature the same whether it be Avril Lavigne, Eminem, or Jennifer Lopez. The media also pushes pop down their throats and creates TV shows that try to pander to what they want. Therefore I think most girls live under one homogeneous (sp?) ideology and therefore, a lot of DJ skills can be used all over.

To me, the DJ guide is not a miracle solution - its up to you, the person, to make them work. On internet text, this **** all looks easy enough to do. In reality, its tough and you won't get insta***** as a result of it. What the goal here to do is to make you understand the fundamentals of how you should carry yourself around women: be confident, make the first move, and try not to sound like a pathetic loser when you get around to talking to the girl you want. Once you get the number, it tells when to call without looking pathetic, the right words to say to make yourself seem like a great catch, and how to form a relationship where the man is in control, something that seems to be dissipating quicker and quicker thanks to the feminization of the media. The forum is a good source where you can go with tips. I have to say that this forum is one of the best for the refreshing honesty where people admit to being virgins and people actually want to help eachother out. Its a good way for you to become a great catch and a great person in general.

This site is no miracle but I'm already seeing positive results in just one week of being here as opposed of other methods that I've done for nearly 4 years. I got one phone number from an attractive girl. Last year, I'd be thanking the Lord if a 5 or a 6 girl gave me her number. So I believe DJing is probably the best way to get girls so far until I develop my own method thats better.

 

[Duke]

It makes me wonder what you're doing so wrong to get 50 rejections...are you a good conversationalist? Are you TOO ****y? The common denominator in all of these rejections was YOU, so you must have been doing something wrong.

I speak for myself when I say this, but this site has helped me immensely-- not only with women but with life in general. I used to be the poster-boy for an AFC. I was obsessed with one chick for 2 1/2 years and I followed her around like a puppy dog trying to impress her. I tried to make her "happy" by letting her get her way ALL the time-- I called her 3 times a week and let her vomit all of her relationship problems (with other guys, of course) to me.

Later on, my best friend (who is not Brad Pitt by any means) got a really hot girlfriend. For a while I was jealous of his success. He got devirginized by her, and they are still going out right now. He'd tell me all the shi* that they'd do, and in effect he made me long for that kind of intimacy. I figured that I was doing something wrong. One of my biggest problems, I thought, was that I could never think of anything to say to girls.

So I went over to google.com and typed in "making conversations" or something to that effect, and I got a link to a Double-Your-Dating plug. Soon, I found this site, and since then I have been on an upward spiral.

I have to say that the most important thing this site has done for me is that it has changed my entire mindset. I used to be a pessimist. I am now a very positive person. This positivity led to confidence. This confidence led to attraction.

Then, I implemented other things into my mindset. Women are people, too; they shi* just like us. No need to put them on a pedestal. Why should we be afraid of them? THEY are the ones that let other people shape them. They hang on every word we say. They are the ones that have to wait to get approached. In most senses, THEY are at OUR mercy. WE are MEN: WE shape OURSELVES. It is our duty to initiate and to be the man.

That's one of the core reasons women are attracted to jerks. The jerk doesn't give a damn what other people think of him. Girls wish that they could have that carelessness and independence. Girls like (key word being LIKE, not attraction) nice guys because they are great listeners.

As a DJ, we take the best of both worlds and make a balanced little nirvana. Women love us because we took the time and put in the effort required to look at ourselves objectively and improve ourselves. We are neither *******s nor wimps-- we are DJ's AKA great guys.

Nannu, from the way you talk, I take it that you're seeing the Bible material as a bunch of tricks and tactics. If you don't believe in them, they ARE tricks and tactics. However, if you truly believe that they will work and you mentally rehearse, and your whole demeanor is one of confidence, then they will become a part of you. They will no longer feel unnatural.

The site isn't "a series of tricks designed to get girls to not have an excuse to get rid of you." They will WANT to be with you. You're looking at it in a negative light. Nice guys try to give girls excuses not to get rid of them in the forms of appeasement, gifts, kindness, etc. Does that ever work? NO. DJ's CREATE attraction.
Just believe in it man.

There are some contradictions on the site, but you've gotta understand that different people endorse different methods. Each separate method fit each different person. Just use what you're most comfortable with and what you take the most stock in. Personally, here's how I deal with kino: I will start off with very light kino that a girl can't really object to-- a hand shake, examining clothing or jewelry, gently guiding her to the next destination by putting my hand on her back or shoulder-- things that I would do to ANYBODY, not just girls.

Then she might kino back. I say wait for her to kino back, and if she does then you're set. If she doesn't, then give her some time. If you've gone out on 3 dates or so, and she still does nothing, then perhaps she is waiting for you to do something? Try some slightly more aggressive kino to see if she objects. If she doesn't, great. Then go for the kiss test.
As the legendary Bruce Lee once said, "Be like water, my friend. If water is poured into the glass, it becomes the glass. If water is poured into the teacup, it becomes the teacup."
Just adapt to each situation.

As much as we speculate on all of this, it really isn't that complicated. I mean chances are we already know most of what's said on this sight-- problem is that either we only know it on a subconscious level, or we're afraid to actually do what we know.

From what you've told me, I don't know why you are rejected so often. Give us more detailed scenarios. Give us some insight into your mindset. We're all here for each other. If you don't give up, we won't.

Duke

 

[Bonhomme]

The *techniques* contradict; the *basics* don't

Yes, there are a lot of techniques and bits of advice on how to act in certain situations that contradict each other, but the *basics* are pretty consistent:

1) Project confidence and charisma so people will *desire* your company. Be *fun* to be around.

2) Make the most of what you got. Do all you can to make yourself the best man you can be.

3) Look as good as possible to attract women to you straight off.

4) Be a man, not a mouse. Stand up for yourself. Take no dirt.

5) Don't act needy. Only stick around where you're wanted.

6) Be sexual. Develop comfort with your sexuality.

Most of the other techniques and approaches you can take or leave depending upon your own strengths. For example, if you're good with touch and projecting sexual states, something along the lines of the Gunwitch method (basically, isolating a gal and eliciting a sexual state in her) could work for you. If you're an ace with witty banter, David d'Angelo's ****y & funny approach could be the ticket.

Different strokes for different blokes, but the basics remain more-or-less the same 99% of the time (a few gals are exceptions).

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

I was just going to say that, but dammit Bonhomme, you beat me to it!

 

[vectorz]

It's because 99% of the posts on here is pure bvllsh1t. 99% of the stuff on here is posted by a bunch of AFC losers that have no idea what they're talking about. And you have 1% posted by people who actually really do have game.