Why does chasing women sometimes pay off?

[DragonBlood]

He's not the winner in my opinion. His wife bosses him around and walks all over him. Plus she cheated on him. So, he knocked her up finally and had three kids with her. She still played him and strung him along.

His kids also think hes a winner. Maybe he was off to a bad start, but obviously at some point he switched in her mind from "loser" to "the most important man in my life". Also, consider the fact that if he better utilized the LDR and also cheated, he probably would have lost the girl and would be single right now. Its also significantly easier for a women to cheat, on pretty much anyone.

Its possible she bosses him around, but this is your perception of the situation. Its pretty typical for wives in particular to behave this way regardless of if the guy is alpha.

For me loyalty and lays arent worth jack ****, completely over hyped. Girls perpetually cheat given the right set of circumstances. The only indicator of success is if you got her to reproduce and took her off the market. I believe a woman calls it "winning her over" and this is something they find very attractive.

Im obviously playing devils advocate here, but Ive seen my ex do the exact same thing and "settle down" with a "needy guy" who chased for years, and guess what they are both very happy. The dynamic between them is completely different than before. On the otherhand, even though Ive had way more girls they are never serious about commitment because they dont believe they can hold me or I refuse to kiss up about something which ends the relationship. I dont come across as a boyfriend and eventually the girl, regardless of cheating or whatever, decides to leave me on the shelf for something more reliable. So, on paper I look very successful and guys envy my confidence generally, but in any practical terms I am losing very attractive girls to the chasers. In fact, all this alpha talk only seems effective on average looking girls who do not have as many hard chasers.

 

[GS750]

Interesting point. I've had that happen before, been dropped by a chick who didn't see me as long term potential for a more "stable" or "reliable" guy who I percieved as a needy nerd boy who she settled for. Didn't bother me though, I actually found it kind of funny. I don't know. Maybe some guys are more willing to put their ego on the line and chase and some guys are like "fvck that, I'm not chasing". Personally, I'm not going to chase any woman. If she blows me off, shows low interest, turns me down more than once for a date I drop it and move on and forget her. But I see what you are saying.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Depends on where they are in life IMO. When the wall starts to hit - priorities change and they realize that they need to find something more stable then riding the aloof alpha emotional roller coaster. roissy has a whole section dedicated to it on rationmale as well as a book. Good stuff - especially if you're a guy in his late 20s wondering why chicks won't put up with your sh!t anymore ha. Have to start giving them hope for the future or you may just get dropped for a beta or no one at all leaving them an alpha widow.

 

[Dgwizdal]

*Rollo

http://therationalmale.com/2014/03/16/preventative-medicine-part-i/

 

[DragonBlood]

Good stuff - especially if you're a guy in his late 20s wondering why chicks won't put up with your sh!t anymore ha. Have to start giving them hope for the future or you may just get dropped for a beta or no one at all leaving them an alpha widow.

Good posts by Rollo. But I hope you guys realise I actually want to lose my argument. I am one of these "alpha guys" who cant keep a woman down. Half of them are through faults of my own, coming up in the game, but the other half in the long term tend to wander off to pathetic ass kissing men, or a VERY hot women who refuse to leave or cheat on their beta bf due to the length and stability of the current relationship.

However whenever I try to beta down and allow the woman to lead the frame, I quickly feel disgusted and depressed.. as her inner brat takes charge and I become more of an accessory that any man could fill. I thoroughly enjoy my freedom and independence as a man, but it seems like the only way to sustain a healthy relationship with a woman long term is to ultimately abandon your mission as a man, probably even move half way across the world to accommodate her career or life, and just abandon yours.

Ive become disfranchised with the alpha ideals, and Im starting to wonder, perhaps alphas are so rare because its an inferior breeding strategy. Barring the odd accidental pregnancy the man a woman chooses to settle down with is the one she will eventually have the most (if not all) children with. And once kids are in the picture that ***** is pretty much sealed and priorities change. Where in this is the room for a women to fall into a mans frame and put up with his aloof ****, when she quite simply doesnt have too.

Ive always had a hard time getting a woman on my team long term for these reasons. And ultimately if I lose her to a beta, even a hot woman, and they settle down and have children. Well I have by definition lost the genetic game.

 

[NSX-R]

If she is truly the woman of your life the it's worth the try but how can you know it if you are just chasing her without having any sexual interaction with her?

Chasing a girl takes time and if there is something that men should value their most is time. Spending your time by chasing one specific girl is really stupid in my opinion.

Move forward, the time you would had spent to get one girl by chasing would be equal to banging 20 other girls. Be smart not stupid

 

[FCB]

The genetic game was necessary when it was difficult to survive in an environment and competition lead to providing necesseties to survive (food, shelter, a pack). For evolution all that matters is passing on your DNA, but as humans who have evolved to the most intelligent and complex species ever we have provided ample ability to survive and limited the necessity for competition to survive and/or pass on your DNA.

The draw to alphas in many senses is innate and programmed into our DNA, but as we all know the human is a complex mix of nature and nurture. The alpha previously gave you the best chance of surviving yourself and your progeny having good genes and a good chance of thriving. Humans in current society arguably its more important to have a family structure in place, a father to rely on to give yourself(the woman) and your children the best chance at having a stable life. So it could be argued that the better choice for a mate is someone with beta characteristics, who will be consistent, who won't leave the family structure as often and who will be a safer bet. The alpha it can be argued is not evolutionary speaking a better choice at this point, the ability to protect and gather resources is not something essential to survival or passing on DNA anymore. Almost any man can pass on his DNA, and in most cases those children and mothers will be safe and have resources to surivive. So that innate drive to Alpha's in many cases can be unlearned, since in the long run they don't provide the benefit that they once did, now they may just be selfish *******s to a potential mate, and not worth the gamble.

*think this is a good discussion, I don't really subscribe to the alpha above all else mentality, but I do think its important to be a leader for yourself but not necessarily at unnecessary cost to others.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Good posts by Rollo. But I hope you guys realise I actually want to lose my argument. I am one of these "alpha guys" who cant keep a woman down. Half of them are through faults of my own, coming up in the game, but the other half in the long term tend to wander off to pathetic ass kissing men, or a VERY hot women who refuse to leave or cheat on their beta bf due to the length and stability of the current relationship.

However whenever I try to beta down and allow the woman to lead the frame, I quickly feel disgusted and depressed.. as her inner brat takes charge and I become more of an accessory that any man could fill. I thoroughly enjoy my freedom and independence as a man, but it seems like the only way to sustain a healthy relationship with a woman long term is to ultimately abandon your mission as a man, probably even move half way across the world to accommodate her career or life, and just abandon yours.

Ive become disfranchised with the alpha ideals, and Im starting to wonder, perhaps alphas are so rare because its an inferior breeding strategy. Barring the odd accidental pregnancy the man a woman chooses to settle down with is the one she will eventually have the most (if not all) children with. And once kids are in the picture that ***** is pretty much sealed and priorities change. Where in this is the room for a women to fall into a mans frame and put up with his aloof ****, when she quite simply doesnt have too.

Ive always had a hard time getting a woman on my team long term for these reasons. And ultimately if I lose her to a beta, even a hot woman, and they settle down and have children. Well I have by definition lost the genetic game.

Yep. Your second paragraph sums it up for me in my late 20s. I can bang em no problem and hold them down for a while but ultimately when it's time to beta down a bit I feel out of my element and I can feel the power shift. When I refuse to let it happen, it usually ends up in a nuclear explosion from her followed by them staying single or dating betas who will literally do everything in the book wrong. Granted - they come back around here and there for fun (or refuse to talk to me ever again) but it seems as tho beta boys pick up the long term pieces.

Insecurity on our ends to relinquish power? Inability to maintain healthy balance? Or just smart enough to know the ultimate agenda of a woman? Peaking into the inevitable beta boy future through the eyes of s million men before us does have its consequences. Sometimes - I wonder what it would be like to unlearn the things we know.

However - I am a firm believer that there is a sustainable balance to all. We just haven't figured it all out yet.

 

[marmel75]

Yep. Your second paragraph sums it up for me in my late 20s. I can bang em no problem and hold them down for a while but ultimately when it's time to beta down a bit I feel out of my element and I can feel the power shift. When I refuse to let it happen, it usually ends up in a nuclear explosion from her followed by them staying single or dating betas who will literally do everything in the book wrong. Granted - they come back around here and there for fun (or refuse to talk to me ever again) but it seems as tho beta boys pick up the long term pieces.

Insecurity on our ends to relinquish power? Inability to maintain healthy balance? Or just smart enough to know the ultimate agenda of a woman? Peaking into the inevitable beta boy future through the eyes of s million men before us does have its consequences. Sometimes - I wonder what it would be like to unlearn the things we know.

However - I am a firm believer that there is a sustainable balance to all. We just haven't figured it all out yet.

The game to get a women into a relationship with you is NOT the same game required to maintain the relationship past a certain point. You have to learn to be more fluid and less rigid once you get to that point.