Why does 1 rejection hurt even though im spinning other plates?

[Adams1991]

And advice on this?

I'm getting numbers left and right and spinning plates. Laying, sexting, etc all is great.

Today I was texting this chick I know from 12 yrs ago. Catching up for the past few weeks on fb. Absolutely great rapport, sexual texting and flirting.

Today she starts talking about how she has a girl she can set me with. I brush it off in a nice funny way and we continue our flirting

Eventually ask her for her number and shes like "I already found my next victim to walk the isle so cant blah blah blah"


So my question is, idc about her not giving me the number (which she ended up giving ANYWAYS and instantly saying good night), my question is how can I let this not temporary affect me? I have girls left and right. But this one kinda set me off and ruined my mood.

 

[Adams1991]

In the end she gave me her number and is like number isnt needed to catch up, goodnight.

Should I text her number or just ignore it and continue texting her on facebook?


(I HATE FB TEXTING when I can just get a number instead)

 

[fanatic22]

Not wanting to give the number is a pretty bad sign. You've been texting her for WEEKS? That was your first mistake. The protocol is a few back and forths followed by "hey let's continue this over drinks". I'd just stop texting this one entirely. And it affects you more because it's from your past. You want a high school crush to validate the new and improved you. Sadly, first impressions last, so you're much better off with people who have met you recently.

 

[flowtheory]

Because we’re humans and we’re greedy. Novelty. Next conquest is just as important as the first. Same rules always apply with a new woman.

Your sexual needs are being met by others, however maybe on some level you’re seeking more of an emotional connection.

And finally. Rejection always has a sharp blade waiting for us. Unless you become indifferent. But if that were the case you wouldn’t be trying with anyone.

Rejection is a part of the game my friend. That sting won’t go away. We simply just learn how to feel it and get back up quicker than the last time.

 

[Adams1991]

Not wanting to give the number is a pretty bad sign. You've been texting her for WEEKS? That was your first mistake. The protocol is a few back and forths followed by "hey let's continue this over drinks". I'd just stop texting this one entirely. And it affects you more because it's from your past. You want a high school crush to validate the new and improved you. Sadly, first impressions last, so you're much better off with people who have met you recently.

Well not literally weeks direct, weeks as in texting here and there once a week. For the past 3 weeks.

And I seriously dont care about her, not even sexually attracted to her like that. Nor do I care. Just caught me off guard with the way it was worded and she still ended up giving it anyways.

And no she was never a crush in the past either lol

 

[fanatic22]

Well not literally weeks direct, weeks as in texting here and there once a week. For the past 3 weeks.

And I seriously dont care about her, not even sexually attracted to her like that. Nor do I care. Just caught me off guard with the way it was worded and she still ended up giving it anyways.

And no she was never a crush in the past either lol

Yeah you do care. You cared enough to post about it. I don't understand why guys feel the need to protect their egos on here. We've all been through the same crap, which is how we made it to this forum in the first place.

 

[soulforge]

5 out of 10 girls will not give you the number!

That's a hell of alot of new threads being created on SS.

 

[Tilex]

"I already found my next victim to walk the aisle"??
Isn't that chick code for getting married?
It's very obvious why she's dodging you lately. She's off the market.

 

[Adams1991]

Yeah you do care. You cared enough to post about it. I don't understand why guys feel the need to protect their egos on here. We've all been through the same crap, which is how we made it to this forum in the first place.

I care in the sense for myself, not that oh **** now I'm not gonna hit it.

Which is why I made it clear that I have multiple plates spinning and that this one has invested no emotional interest from me.

So it's more of a "helping me" thing than "how can I win her" thing.

I.e. a advice for a bro, from bros

 

[soulforge]

I care in the sense for myself, not that oh **** now I'm not gonna hit it.

Which is why I made it clear that I have multiple plates spinning and that this one has invested no emotional interest from me.

So it's more of a "helping me" thing than "how can I win her" thing.

I.e. a advice for a bro, from bros

To be fair, if you're spinning plates and you have multiple other options, then ONE rejection from a chick you have no emotional investment in, shouldn't be prompting you to create a thread about her.

You should simply be shrugging your shoulders and moving the fuk on.

The title of this thread has the word HURT in it.. Maybe your more invested than your letting on Bruv.

 

[Adams1991]

To be fair, if you're spinning plates and you have multiple other options, then ONE rejection from a chick you have no emotional investment in, shouldn't be prompting you to create a thread about her.

You should simply be shrugging your shoulders and moving the fuk on.

The title of this thread has the word HURT in it.. Maybe your more invested than your letting on Bruv.

Right there, the bold part. That's what I created this topic for. I want to do that.

I guess maybe I got used to getting all of the last 20 or numbers I asked for so this caught me off guard. A lot of girls even text me pissed that I havent met them recently etc.

Oh well, I have this girls number too. Guess I'll just stop communicating with her as a whole? Oh well

 

[soulforge]

Right there, the bold part. That's what I created this topic for. I want to do that.

I guess maybe I got used to getting all of the last 20 or numbers I asked for so this caught me off guard. A lot of girls even text me pissed that I havent met them recently etc.

Oh well, I have this girls number too. Guess I'll just stop communicating with her as a whole? Oh well

If shrugging your shoulders and moving on is what you wanted to do, then people don't create a thread to carry this action through.. It's a NATURAL reaction.

Here is what you do.. Stop wasting time on a chick who firstly you have not even banged and who doesn't have much interest in you.

Move onto to your other multiple plates.

Problem solved. And keep your ego in check.

 

[The Diver]

I have girls left and right. But this one kinda set me off and ruined my mood.

I don't know you, but this is what pooped out straight in my mind when I read your post:

Despite spinning plates and getting numbers left and right, deep inside you you're insecure and need your self-worth being constantly validated by those women and actions (spinning plates and getting numbers), as to say to yourself " Yea, I'm still desired" " women still attracted to me", but look what happened when ONE girl didn't feed your self worth: "it set you off and ruined your mood", and in other words, "Shattered your fragile confidence".

A truly confident man, with an abundance mentality, (as you claim to have ) will brush this rejection aside without giving it a second thought.

Your fragile confidence is the result of you not believing in yourself, of a low self-esteem.

(Now, maybe it's all BS , but that what it feels like. Correct me if I'm wrong).

 

[Adams1991]

I don't know you, but this is what pooped out straight in my mind when I read your post:

Despite spinning plates and getting numbers left and right, deep inside you you're insecure and need your self-worth being constantly validated by those women and actions (spinning plates and getting numbers), as to say to yourself " Yea, I'm still desired" " women still attracted to me", but look what happened when ONE girl didn't feed your self worth: "it set you off and ruined your mood", and in other words, "Shattered your fragile confidence".

A truly confident man, with an abundance mentality, (as you claim to have ) will brush this rejection aside without giving it a second thought.

Your fragile confidence is the result of you not believing in yourself, of a low self-esteem.

(Now, maybe it's all BS , but that what it feels like. Correct me if I'm wrong).

No it's not entirely a self confidence thing, more of a lapse in confidence really. Not sure why it happened. But I see where you're coming from.

I mean look at it, several hours have passed since then and I am already back to my normal self. Would even delete this topic now If I can.

But I see what you're trying to say. Thumbs up to that. Time to just move on to even more chicks. Gonna ignore this one on fb and not text her number either.

Maybe my thing is I focus on each new possible plate more than the ones I'm spinning while it's in progress. Bad habit.

 

[Spaz]

I don't know you, but this is what pooped out straight in my mind when I read your post:

Despite spinning plates and getting numbers left and right, deep inside you you're insecure and need your self-worth being constantly validated by those women and actions (spinning plates and getting numbers), as to say to yourself " Yea, I'm still desired" " women still attracted to me", but look what happened when ONE girl didn't feed your self worth: "it set you off and ruined your mood", and in other words, "Shattered your fragile confidence".

A truly confident man, with an abundance mentality, (as you claim to have ) will brush this rejection aside without giving it a second thought.

Your fragile confidence is the result of you not believing in yourself, of a low self-esteem.

(Now, maybe it's all BS , but that what it feels like. Correct me if I'm wrong).

This. And if he's spinning plates left, right and center, he won't he feeling anything to the extent of creating a thread to solve his woes.

OP your job now is to really (as in real life) spin plates.

 

[Glassguy]

Here is what you do.. Stop wasting time on a chick who firstly you have not even banged and who doesn't have much interest in you.

Exactly.

A truly confident man, with an abundance mentality, (as you claim to have ) will brush this rejection aside without giving it a second thought.

Your fragile confidence is the result of you not believing in yourself, of a low self-esteem.

Spot on.

OP your job now is to really (as in real life) spin plates

True. Actions over words. I wont think for one second that a guy on here is REALLY spinning multiple plates or has TRUE abundance if he has to come on SS and start a thread over ONE chick.

OP- if a chick turns me down, I honestly might think about it for 5 or 10 minutes. Thats it. I dont ponder on it at all. I took the shot, it didnt work. On to the next one.

Gone are the days that I would analyze if I could have done something different for a different outcome. Gone are the days when I would get butthurt if a chick rejected me as a sex partner.

Here are the days that I truly DGAF. I know that I have 6s-8s that I can shoot out texts to right now saying that I am free tonight and I know that I will have at least 2 that are ready to come over.

Put working into your rotation and learn how to dismiss and move on from the ones that dont make it easy. This chick is clearly not interested in fvcking you.

 

[RangerMIke]

We all want what we can't have. So the way to prevent this is to never get ahead of yourself. A chick should be NOTHING to you until you fvck her. Since you can't 'want' nothing you won't care if things don't pan out.

A fish isn't a fish until you real it in, just because it's on the hook means nothing. A chick isn't a chick until you've past a number of gates, getting her number is the first gate.... just because you get her number... get her on a date... none of that sh!t matters. It's Schrodinger's Cat... you don't know if you have something or not, until the 'box' is opened. Only with chicks it's several boxes you have to open before you close the deal. Your problem was that you were making assumptions, never do this.

 

[Ranger]

Eventually ask her for her number and shes like "I already found my next victim to walk the isle so cant blah blah blah”.

Have you thought about this quote she sent you? I actually like it. I already like her.

Did you tell her that you were a man for emergencies of the heart and wouldn’t interfere with her diabolical plans?

 

[Trump]

And advice on this?

I'm getting numbers left and right and spinning plates. Laying, sexting, etc all is great.

Today I was texting this chick I know from 12 yrs ago. Catching up for the past few weeks on fb. Absolutely great rapport, sexual texting and flirting.

She’s likely texting you while having sex with another guy.

So my question is, idc about her not giving me the number (which she ended up giving ANYWAYS and instantly saying good night), my question is how can I let this not temporary affect me? I have girls left and right. But this one kinda set me off and ruined my mood.

Because you think you are important and think girls care about you. Girls don’t care about you, they care about what you can do for them.

 

[longtail]

And advice on this?

I'm getting numbers left and right and spinning plates. Laying, sexting, etc all is great.

Getting numbers is not spinning plates lol.

Fvcking fat girls is not spinning plates.

Fvcking old women is not spinning plates.