Why do you guys want to get married?

[Trump]

I'm likely asking this question because I just had a 10 year relationship end. But I'm curious, why do men want to get married in 2017? I broke it down into negatives and positives.

Negatives: Running around for her, holding her bags, buying her things, saying things not to upset her, playing 2nd fiddle, she can emotionally abuse you as she wishes.

Positives: you always have someone with you, not alone, regular sex, good for image, get invited to more places, can do stuff together, happy wife happy life.

Do the positives outweigh the negatives? Think if you are King and had 10 beautiful women you could be with every other night. A young German girl, a young Chinese girl, a young American, a young Italian, etc, etc. Would you just pick one and say "I want to be with you for the rest of my life?"

Again I'm probably over compensating because of my own situation but I'm curious to hear thoughts.

 

[Tenacity]

Negatives: Running around for her, holding her bags, buying her things, saying things not to upset her, playing 2nd fiddle, she can emotionally abuse you as she wishes.

You are leaving out a whole lot of stuff there buddy:

- High potential of her looks dropping rapidly as she begins to "fall off"
- Lower amounts of sex as you go along
- Her getting harder and harder to "handle" to the point you can't WAIT to leave for work
- Most likely getting your finances fvcked up because it's a FACT, women consume/spend more
- Potentially getting divorced at anytime for any reason or for NO reason
- Said divorce slashing HALF of your net worth, or damn near ALL of it
- Potentially not being able to see the kids you created as often

Positives

: you always have someone with you, not alone, regular sex, good for image, get invited to more places, can do stuff together, happy wife happy life.

- You can "always have someone with you" outside of a marriage contract

- You can not be "alone" outside of a marriage contract, plus WHO said you can't be married and alone? Think about that for a second......

- Regular sex? In a marriage?

- Good for image ONLY if you are running for a high political office.

- Get invited to more places?? What??

- You can "do stuff together" outside of a marriage contract

- Happy wife = Happy life? If that's true, then that also means Sad wife = Sad life.

Do the positives outweigh the negatives?

Sir, there ARE NO POSITIVES. Nobody on this forum can tell me ONE THING you get from a marriage contract in terms of a major benefit, that you do not get and are not CURRENTLY getting outside of the marriage contract.

Nobody on this forum can tell me one thing.

But what I and others can tell you are a host of RISKS you take on when you enter a marriage contract that are not there outside of it. Seeing as though there are no direct rewards from marriage, the answer to your question is NO the rewards don't outweigh the risks, because there are no god damn rewards

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Don't forget the risk of alimony.

Nothing beats the sheer joy of cutting a check every month to your ex that pays the rent where her and her BF live.

-Augustus-

 

[bigneil]

Nobody on this forum can tell me ONE THING you get from a marriage contract in terms of a major benefit, that you do not get and are not CURRENTLY getting outside of the marriage contract.

Except maybe having a mother for your child and not letting it be raised by a single mom.

I think for someone like me who will be 47 this year, having gotten a 21 year old beauty to fall in love, assuming she wants children, it might be a good deal for me to have a family with a young wife. Might.

Men definitely shouldn't get married young

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Bigneil,

PRENUP.

-Augustus-

 

[Roober]

Let's see... as I begin down the DJ journey, I don't know if I will ever want to get married again to be frankly honest. However, there may come a time where I will look into an LTR. Not sure I agree with any of what you said for yours...

Negatives:
-Having someone constantly around, not alot of "me" time
-Sometimes having to do things you don't want to do
-Stuck with another family, and often spending time with them
-

Now, the positives come with the caveat that you properly filtered and found a good woman. You have a strong relationship and two emotionally healthy adults...

Positives:
-There is a different kind of bond that develops after years in a relationship, where you can appreciate sitting down and having dinner, cooking together, traveling together, doing activities together
-Doing things separately and being okay with it. i.e. just as much freedom as being single (within reason)
-Much easier on the finances as in splitting all bills
-Better stability for the kids
-Sharing in household duties
-married men live longer than single men

Basically all of the positives revolve around making your life easier. If a man is pursuing his purpose, is completely financially independent (and comfortable), has children, and takes care of himself, there is no real reason to get married any more. Growing old with someone sounds nice, having someone till the end would be good, and supposedly it increases a man's life expectancy, but then you have to watch them get old, possibly deal with death, etc etc...... ah he77..... why would anyone get married?

 

[bigneil]

Bigneil,

PRENUP.

-Augustus-

Yes, but note there is really no such thing. A prenup can't even say she has to have sex ONCE. Because God forbid a poor woman be a victim of the Patriarchy like that.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Yes, but note there is really no such thing. A prenup can't even say she has to have sex ONCE. Because God forbid a poor woman be a victim of the Patriarchy like that.

So tell me, can a woman sie her husband for raping her? Is rape in a marriage even possible? And if so, can the man sue the woman for rape?

 

[The Duke]

Here's what I enjoyed when I was married:

-My ex wife and I had very good incomes. There was never a shortage of money. We had a nice house, nice cars, took trips, and pretty much bought whatever we wanted within reason.

-She did a lot of the household chores which freed me up to do other things I enjoyed.

-We always had regular sechs and it was good.

-If I wanted to buy tickets to some sporting event or concert she was always willing to go. With girls I date, you never know if they will flake on you or not. Same thing with planning trips with girls. Don't have those problems with a wife.

-I always had a dinner date when I was married. I would much rather have the company of a nice looking woman for dinner than eat by myself.

-I appreciated the stability. There is none of that in the dating world.

-I ate better.

Here's what got old:

-Listening to her complain.

-Going to things with her that I didn't like to attend(for example her company functions).

-The Daily routine and rut that comes with stability and being content.

-I was thankful that I really enjoyed her family so attending her family's holiday gatherings was never a beat down but it has been with other girls I've dated.

We didn't need lawyers when we divorced. It was actually pretty smooth and fair. It only worked this way because we were two individuals with strong people skills that could put their emotions aside.

You have to maintain your frame in all situations or you'll get into hot water with women every time. Doesn't matter if its dating or marriage. It's a lot of work if you are expecting greatness.

And here's another thing I've learned.....eventually you are going to find a girl that you want to hang onto. At some point she will want marriage. There is a window of opportunity there. If you put it off too long she'll eventually build up so much resentment that she'll leave you. I put my exwife off for 4yrs and we dated 6yrs before that and I pushed it out as long as I could. My live in LTR wanted marriage and I put her off for almost 4yrs before she left me when I kept pushing it out.

I really believe that these women who get fat, lazy, and don't want sechs in a ltr/marriage do so because their man loses frame and gets lazy himself. He also wasn't intimidating enough. They have to miss you, they have to fear you somewhat to keep working for you. You are their fearless strong leader.

Every woman I've been with always wanted to please me. It was only when she started to lose attraction that she stopped wanting to please me. Its your job as a man the keep the attraction there. Its her job to reward you for your efforts.

Every time I've failed, its because I stopped being the guy I described above. At some point you have to question yourself. This forum is has several guys that are really good at analyzing what was wrong with these women...but we rarely analyze ourselves!

We've all had a few good women we cut ties with but never realized what impact our behavior had on why the relationship failed. As you get older and more relationship minded you will begin to see things differently.

 

[Von]

Here's what I enjoyed when I was married:

-My ex wife and I had very good incomes. There was never a shortage of money. We had a nice house, nice cars, took trips, and pretty much bought whatever we wanted within reason.

-She did a lot of the household chores which freed me up to do other things I enjoyed.

-We always had regular sechs and it was good.

-If I wanted to buy tickets to some sporting event or concert she was always willing to go. With girls I date, you never know if they will flake on you or not. Same thing with planning trips with girls. Don't have those problems with a wife.

-I always had a dinner date when I was married. I would much rather have the company of a nice looking woman for dinner than eat by myself.

-I appreciated the stability. There is none of that in the dating world.

-I ate better.

Here's what got old:

-Listening to her complain.

-Going to things with her that I didn't like to attend(for example her company functions).

-The Daily routine and rut that comes with stability and being content.

-I was thankful that I really enjoyed her family so attending her family's holiday gatherings was never a beat down but it has been with other girls I've dated.

We didn't need lawyers when we divorced. It was actually pretty smooth and fair. It only worked this way because we were two individuals with strong people skills that could put their emotions aside.

You have to maintain your frame in all situations or you'll get into hot water with women every time. Doesn't matter if its dating or marriage. It's a lot of work if you are expecting greatness.

And here's another thing I've learned.....eventually you are going to find a girl that you want to hang onto. At some point she will want marriage. There is a window of opportunity there. If you put it off too long she'll eventually build up so much resentment that she'll leave you. I put my exwife off for 4yrs and we dated 6yrs before that. My live in LTR wanted marriage and I put her off for almost 5yrs before she left me.

I really believe that these women who get fat, lazy, and don't want sechs in a ltr/marriage do so because their man loses frame and gets lazy himself. He also wasn't intimidating enough. He didn't set the expectations high enough and remind her of them.

Can you say LTR and Mariage are the same?

I believe the TEAM factor in LTR is really a good point... how you do everything together like a team, each adding its value in the mix to perform better.

Why I ask: Can you say LTR and Mariage are the same?

Alot of people don't want to deal with the legal aspect
or what I see now.... people getting marriaged after dating for 1 year

My ex wanted to get married after we dated for 4 years... I couldn't say ''yes'' but I did LTR her for another 1 year (we split on good terms)... Mariage seems 1 spot above in terms of commitment

 

[kronreiff]

Been there, done that. I enjoy my freedom, thus having a ball and chain for life is not my idea of being my own man. I'm not lonely, I can cook very well, I have plates to spin and friends for female company when I desire it. No worries if the little princess is happy or not. Women are work in a LTR or marriage. I have a life to live and I don't have the time nor the patience to tolerate the emotional roller coaster of the modern day woman and her B$. In my world, women are made to fvck and have fun with. Just my 2 cents!

 

[The Duke]

Can you say LTR and Mariage are the same?

I believe the TEAM factor in LTR is really a good point... how you do everything together like a team, each adding its value in the mix to perform better.

Why I ask: Can you say LTR and Mariage are the same?

Alot of people don't want to deal with the legal aspect
or what I see now.... people getting marriaged after dating for 1 year

My ex wanted to get married after we dated for 4 years... I couldn't say ''yes'' but I did LTR her for another 1 year (we split on good terms)... Mariage seems 1 spot above in terms of commitment

For me, I treated my live-in LTR exactly like I did my marriage except for the money end. In the LTR, We split all the bills and never combined finances. I also wasn't worried about my LTR having money for retirement. I was only out for myself on the money end. In a marriage I would be more concerned about my wife's financial well being.

But everything else in the LTR was the same as my marriage and even felt like it. Their is definitely a financial benefit if your significant other is contributing. My LTR paid half my mortgage every month, and did more than half the chores.

I definitely didn't need her financial contributions and wasn't in it for the money, but the more "invested" a person is, the more they care. Most of the time you can achieve more working together than working apart. But any time the chance for achievement is greater, so is the risk!

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Here's what I enjoyed when I was married:

-My ex wife and I had very good incomes. There was never a shortage of money. We had a nice house, nice cars, took trips, and pretty much bought whatever we wanted within reason.

-She did a lot of the household chores which freed me up to do other things I enjoyed.

-We always had regular sechs and it was good.

-If I wanted to buy tickets to some sporting event or concert she was always willing to go. With girls I date, you never know if they will flake on you or not. Same thing with planning trips with girls. Don't have those problems with a wife.

-I always had a dinner date when I was married. I would much rather have the company of a nice looking woman for dinner than eat by myself.

-I appreciated the stability. There is none of that in the dating world.

-I ate better.

Here's what got old:

-Listening to her complain.

-Going to things with her that I didn't like to attend(for example her company functions).

-The Daily routine and rut that comes with stability and being content.

-I was thankful that I really enjoyed her family so attending her family's holiday gatherings was never a beat down but it has been with other girls I've dated.

We didn't need lawyers when we divorced. It was actually pretty smooth and fair. It only worked this way because we were two individuals with strong people skills that could put their emotions aside.

You have to maintain your frame in all situations or you'll get into hot water with women every time. Doesn't matter if its dating or marriage. It's a lot of work if you are expecting greatness.

And here's another thing I've learned.....eventually you are going to find a girl that you want to hang onto. At some point she will want marriage. There is a window of opportunity there. If you put it off too long she'll eventually build up so much resentment that she'll leave you. I put my exwife off for 4yrs and we dated 6yrs before that and I pushed it out as long as I could. My live in LTR wanted marriage and I put her off for almost 4yrs before she left me when I kept pushing it out.

I really believe that these women who get fat, lazy, and don't want sechs in a ltr/marriage do so because their man loses frame and gets lazy himself. He also wasn't intimidating enough. They have to miss you, they have to fear you somewhat to keep working for you. You are their fearless strong leader.

Every woman I've been with always wanted to please me. It was only when she started to lose attraction that she stopped wanting to please me. Its your job as a man the keep the attraction there. Its her job to reward you for your efforts.

Every time I've failed, its because I stopped being the guy I described above. At some point you have to question yourself. This forum is has several guys that are really good at analyzing what was wrong with these women...but we rarely analyze ourselves!

We've all had a few good women we cut ties with but never realized what impact our behavior had on why the relationship failed. As you get older and more relationship minded you will begin to see things differently.

Who wanted the divorce?

-Augustus-

 

[The Duke]

Who wanted the divorce?

-Augustus-

I wanted the divorce. I was the one that filed. The marriage failed because WE BOTH quit working on it, and got caught up in doing our own thing. I quit giving her attention, and she found it elsewhere and cheated on me.

I have no doubts, that IF I could have gotten past the fact that she fuhked some other dude, we would still be together. I wish she wouldn't have fuhked some other dude. Its taken her 9yrs to finally admit it to me. That divorce was the hardest thing I've ever gone thru, I don't wish it up on my worst enemies.

Even if I asked her today, she would be down for getting back together. 5yrs years after we divorced she finally gave up hoping we would get back together. She got fat, developed depression that required a therapist, and now she remarried a beta chump who thinks its hot to see other dudes fuhk his wife. ;-)

 

[bigneil]

Howie, it sounds like you were relying on her working for disposable income. How much could she really be making? That amount shouldn't be a factor. Then again, if you can afford for your wife not to work, she can take you for a lot, so there is really no winning.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I don't want to stay in the game forever like some of the guys here. Take what you can get while it's still good and get out. The good pickings get slimmer the older yoy wait as many of the older guys here say. I still want to have kids someday. I probably will get married eventually, but a prenup is a must.

I don't want to have to continously have to come home super late and make my own food or order something takeout, I want a woman who will cook for me. I don't want to have to spend all this time, energy, and money on a chick just so that she MIGHT sleep with me, I want to have sex when I want. I don't want to have to clean up a huge mess all by myself if I have guests over, I would like some help. I don't want to just bang with meaningless sex based purely off of lust, I desire the occasional 'love-making' that SHOULD come with a long term relationship. I don't want to have to worry about paying bills or expenses, I will make the big money and wish to give the needed amount to a person who will handle that crap for me. I don't want to raise a child who will likely be fvxked up because of no mother in the family, I want a woman to help care for her when I cannot or when I do not wish to emasculate myself by showing too many feelings. A woman who does these things is just the ideal woman. These aren't very many things to follow honestly and aren't that hard to do either.

Wanna know what the problem is nowadays? No fvcking woman does any of these things anymore. They don't cook, don't clean, don't contribute to their man at all in any way. And what happens? She gets bored so she cheats or does sh!t that bothers him just to 'test' him, or piss him off in other words. Then the guy gets mad, she gets mad that he's mad, and basically forces the poor guy to say sorry for something she caused because she will threaten with divorce. This makes her lose respect for him and as such she no longer loves him, making him work harder and harder to please her only to have her lose more respect for him. She ends up cheating and then divorcing anyway.

This is how the vast majority of women are. They aren't anything like the IDEAL woman, much less a PERFECT woman. We as men got a bad deal. But hey, who cares right? It is what it is. What matters is what you do to deal with it.

 

[JohnChops]

Yes, and I want her to stay home because "wage gap" bros. Then I want her to cheat on me, divorce, and then I can pay her to **** some other dude, yay!

Legit. Iron clad prenup if I ever do

 

[Von]

According to this study from Norway: If the guy do house chores, he has a higher rate of divorce

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...k-are-more-likely-to-divorce-study-finds.html

This make no sense ! (like women lol)

Another article in the Mailonline:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencet...likely-seek-divorce-fed-having-housework.html

If she does all the chores, she will divorce you

I believe in modern ''dating'' alot of couples expect the ''easy, fairy tale story'' so they sink at the first real issues

 

[dustmuffin]

I have been married once. I wont marry again. I want to keep what's left of my stuff. Was once a millionaire, now not so much.

 

[Urbanyst]

The main reason men want to get married today is because of monkey see monkey do.

I don't think a lot of men put much deep thought into what it means for them. They just follow the crowd and their friends. They do what is expected of them based on their age.

I'll never forget this article I read by a man on his death bed who was exposing his regrets. One of his regrets was living the life others expected him to live instead of the life he wanted to live. I'll never forget that and I'll never make that mistake.