Why do YOU deserve a hot girlfriend?

[OC Speedball]

Some of the guys on this forum have a successful career, an adventurous life, and good looks or at least fairly good looks. You would be considered truly "high value."

On the other hand, many of the members on this forum are not so good looking, and they have a dull, routine life. A lot of them think they are alpha simply by reading this website or going to the gym. Yet they still think they deserve high value 8/10's.

There are a limited amount of good looking, high value women in this world. Not everyone can have one, so why do you think you deserve one? I am interested more in the users who fit the latter, but I am curious to hear the mindset on this from both sides.

 

[betheman]

There are a limited amount of good looking, high value women in this world. Not everyone can have one, so why do you think you deserve one? I am interested more in the users who fit the latter, but I am curious to hear the mindset on this from both sides.

wromg approach sunshine! do I 'deserve' such a female? who knows? does she deserve me? you assume that guys are aiming for the stars, they arent, the woman you describe is more than likely a regal pain in the ar$e! in life, we rarely get what we think we deserve, lots of people get more than what others think, they deserve. go after what you desire

 

[Aristippus]

That's the wrong question. You've got it backwards. You should always be asking if she's worth your time, in spite of her looks. Is she going to be problematic and a pain in the a$$? Maybe I'll get tired of her b.s. Very attractive women can also be problematic which can offset their looks because so many men spoil them and it creates a flawed outlook and a skewed point of view. So in a lot of cases there could be a trade-off.

 

[Aristippus]

I think me and betheman have a mind-meld going on.

 

[JoeMarron]

I deserve one by virtue of being me. Simple as that.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Because the only thing a woman has to offer a man is her looks and youth She is worthless to a man If she doesn't have some looks and youth.

Nowadays, everything is topsy turvy and men have to have looks and youth to get women on top of all the other things they have to offer women.

 

[OC Speedball]

That's the wrong question. You've got it backwards. You should always be asking if she's worth your time, in spite of her looks. Is she going to be problematic and a pain in the a$$? Maybe I'll get tired of her b.s. Very attractive women can also be problematic which can offset their looks because so many men spoil them and it creates a flawed outlook and a skewed point of view. So in a lot of cases there could be a trade-off.

There should be a trade-off, yes. But you both need to be equals. She needs to offer you something and you need to offer her something. You cannot simply say, "The mindset to have is that SHE deserves you." That is PUA stuff to help you get confidence. But it's not true unless you are truly of higher value than her.

So, you didn't answer the question: why do you deserve a hot girl if you aren't successful and of equal looks as her? Why should an intelligent, succesful, good looking girl go for you? I'm truly curious. A trend that I think everyone notices on PUA forums and men's lifestyle forums is that undesirable men think they deserve a hot girl just because they know game.

 

[Stagger Lee]

So, you didn't answer the question: why do you deserve a hot girl if you aren't successful and of equal looks as her? Why should an intelligent, succesful, good looking girl go for you? I'm truly curious. A trend that I think everyone notices on PUA forums and men's lifestyle forums is that undesirable men think they deserve a hot girl just because they know game.

You're not getting it. A woman only has her looks, where as a man has strength, logic and character the female mind lacks.

It's easy for a women to be good looking due to having XX chromosomes and estrogenic effects that create beauty. Besides looks are subjective, and men and women have different looks. Whose to say a given man isn't as good looking or better than a given woman? Oh yeah women. Do you expect women to be fair about men's looks? Heck no, they don't have to and date up in looks.

Your argument is as flawed as saying that a woman should be your physical equal to deserve you.

You are trapped in the feminist agenda of the inflated looks/appearance bar men most reach. Societal conditions is allowing women to be super-hypergamous and to select from a top percentage of men better looking than they are.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Nobody "deserves" anything, except maybe access to water and food.

 

[ScottMustaine]

Why do you, OP, deserve the right to post such questions ?

 

[floydb25]

There's too much implying and assuming in this question. Namely, that people feel entitled and are undeserving. For me personally, women always came up to me, reciprocated with very high interest, etc. Even very good looking ones - which everyone claimed were "out of my league"... goes to show what they know.

So, none of these claims apply, and I never complained about not getting women out of entitlement. It was always them approaching me... I couldn't care less about that, and never did. But keeping them around, and not wanting to stab them repeatedly in the face, on the other hand...

I'm more interested in the game aspect than anything.

 

[Masculinity]

A common issue in the field of science is asking people to self-report. Surveys, for example, attempt to examine people's beliefs and attitudes used to rationalize their behavior. However, they tend to be problematic as what people say they do and what they actually do tend to disagree. What does this mean? It means that regardless of how how "bad" one has it; one is likely to frame things in a way that not only "makes sense," but that also takes away responsibility for one's failures. This phenomenon is known as the self-serving bias: taking credit for one's successes and externalizing responsibility for one's failures. For example, if Tommy scores a "A" on his physics exam, he will claim he received a high score because of his effort and intelligence. However, if he receives a "D," he is likely to claim the exam was difficult or that the teacher does not like him, etc.

Another issue at hand is the overconfidence bias; especially true in the individualized culture of American society, peoples' egos and beliefs about their capabilities tend to be exaggerated and far from realistic. For example, when asked to classify their intelligence capabilities in a Psychology class (e.g., from 1--the bottom 10% to 10--the top 10%) 63% of people claimed to be in the 10%, which is obviously impossible.

OP: it is evident--based on the responses to the thread thus far--that your question (although very intriguing) may hurt people's egos. As a result, they prefer to attack the question or the questioner rather than accepting failures and examining them closely to address or evolve from them. Needless to say, the population on whom you are interested--members on this forum are not so good looking, and they have a dull, routine life--are ironically the least likely to answer. And that is acceptable, for as long as they know what they need to change to become better men, it is up to them to take an active role in their lives.

Keep being money,

-R

 

[floydb25]

^ Not really... it's simply not an issue, and therefore, his implication is incorrect. It's not like I'm (for example) just making **** up to preserve the "ego". It's just the way it is. I never approached anyone because I was too shy and insecure. But still had good looking women approach and show interest and want to date / have sex. And I never complained about not getting or attracting women based on initial appearance. Ever. Keeping them is a different story. So, there you go.

(This is just for me, of course.)

 

[yougottaknow90]

let's rephrase the question then to make it less of an entitlement issue.

what do you have to offer a woman? what are your pros?

 

[fuzzball]

A common issue in the field of science is asking people to self-report. Surveys, for example, attempt to examine people's beliefs and attitudes used to rationalize their behavior. However, they tend to be problematic as what people say they do and what they actually do tend to disagree. What does this mean? It means that regardless of how how "bad" one has it; one is likely to frame things in a way that not only "makes sense," but that also takes away responsibility for one's failures. This phenomenon is known as the self-serving bias: taking credit for one's successes and externalizing responsibility for one's failures. For example, if Tommy scores a "A" on his physics exam, he will claim he received a high score because of his effort and intelligence. However, if he receives a "D," he is likely to claim the exam was difficult or that the teacher does not like him, etc.

Another issue at hand is the overconfidence bias; especially true in the individualized culture of American society, peoples' egos and beliefs about their capabilities tend to be exaggerated and far from realistic. For example, when asked to classify their intelligence capabilities in a Psychology class (e.g., from 1--the bottom 10% to 10--the top 10%) 63% of people claimed to be in the 10%, which is obviously impossible.

OP: it is evident--based on the responses to the thread thus far--that your question (although very intriguing) may hurt people's egos. As a result, they prefer to attack the question or the questioner rather than accepting failures and examining them closely to address or evolve from them. Needless to say, the population on whom you are interested--members on this forum are not so good looking, and they have a dull, routine life--are ironically the least likely to answer. And that is acceptable, for as long as they know what they need to change to become better men, it is up to them to take an active role in their lives.

Keep being money,

-R

dead on.

^ Not really... it's simply not an issue, and therefore, his implication is incorrect. It's not like I'm (for example) just making **** up to preserve the "ego". It's just the way it is. I never approached anyone because I was too shy and insecure. But still had good looking women approach and show interest and want to date / have sex. And I never complained about not getting or attracting women based on initial appearance. Ever. Keeping them is a different story. So, there you go.

(This is just for me, of course.)

while its possible you are being objective. chances are you arent. most people are not objective and present things in that skewed method as explained above you. i am not saying you are lying but i am skeptical especially with this being the internet which is very prone to cases of "well i dont do that so there your entire argument is invalid" or the ever famous "stop whining when i was went to college i worked 60 hours, had a wife, had kids, and got straight A's taking 6 classes during each semester" or the "one uping". the internet does this repeatedly where as in real life you dont come across these two scenarios near as much.

 

[Falcon]

A common issue in the field of science is asking people to self-report. Surveys, for example, attempt to examine people's beliefs and attitudes used to rationalize their behavior. However, they tend to be problematic as what people say they do and what they actually do tend to disagree. What does this mean? It means that regardless of how how "bad" one has it; one is likely to frame things in a way that not only "makes sense," but that also takes away responsibility for one's failures. This phenomenon is known as the self-serving bias: taking credit for one's successes and externalizing responsibility for one's failures. For example, if Tommy scores a "A" on his physics exam, he will claim he received a high score because of his effort and intelligence. However, if he receives a "D," he is likely to claim the exam was difficult or that the teacher does not like him, etc.

Another issue at hand is the overconfidence bias; especially true in the individualized culture of American society, peoples' egos and beliefs about their capabilities tend to be exaggerated and far from realistic. For example, when asked to classify their intelligence capabilities in a Psychology class (e.g., from 1--the bottom 10% to 10--the top 10%) 63% of people claimed to be in the 10%, which is obviously impossible.

haha this is so true. I remember reading this statistic.. something about drivers were asked to rate their driving skills. In America, over 90% of those asked responded that they were in the top 50% :crackup:

 

[rhythmic]

I don't know about "deserve" but why I GET good women is down to not being ugly, making them laugh and have a good time, and being a dedicated and fairly skilled musician helps too.

EDIT: Oh and lack of outcome dependency. Of course.

 

[floydb25]

dead on.



while its possible you are being objective. chances are you arent. most people are not objective and present things in that skewed method as explained above you. i am not saying you are lying but i am skeptical especially with this being the internet which is very prone to cases of "well i dont do that so there your entire argument is invalid" or the ever famous "stop whining when i was went to college i worked 60 hours, had a wife, had kids, and got straight A's taking 6 classes during each semester" or the "one uping". the internet does this repeatedly where as in real life you dont come across these two scenarios near as much.

Fair enough, and I understand where you're coming from. There's a LOT of fake people and pretenders out there who just make **** up and over-exaggerate everything to make themselves look good, and appear superior and "in". ****, I was friends with these insecure, failure-ridden *******s for years, and witnessed it happen in real life. But in that case, it was all about reputation and ego. These people are also more prone to disbelieve others - as they assume everyone is full of **** like them.

But it is what it is. I've learned not to care - as most people won't believe you anyway. Or, if they see it happening in real life - they'll do their best to minimize and sabotage, so as to keep things as they want them to be (ie, them better than everyone else).

And it honestly works both ways... if a girl is approaching you - everyone will act like you're approaching THEM - then coming up with their own BS theories about how you're wasting your time, etc... literally as they're coming up to you, flirting with you, smiling around you, etc, and not them. Maybe because they suck, and don't have it happen for them. Or their ego can't handle it, and they need to make up excuses. They also tend to minimize, insult, and compete with you over this.

Was just defending myself, and calling out the BS as I saw it.

-----------------

Edit: Dude below... not delusional at all... and no longer conceited or arrogant... quite grounded in reality. Just telling it like it is, and dismissing the OP's claims and generalizations. There's certainly room for improvement, and I'm not claiming to be "better" than anyone else, or anything like that.

But for me (at least) it's AFTER having the girl show interest, and getting through the first few weeks or months. It's not even the personality or likeability, but low self-esteem, lack of game, nice guyism, assuming it's all in the bag, etc. That's the kind of stuff I comment on the most - as I can relate... Or could... haven't put myself out there for 3 years now. But there's been a LOT of general improvements in that time. Standing up for myself, not tolerating crap, not seeking approval or being needy, being confident and content, etc. I took time off to improve myself in these ways, and not be run-down or taken advantage of by other people.

I'm well aware of what's going on, and where I failed. Not just walking around saying "yeeeeeeeeeh, I'm hot; all the girls want me; I don't have to do ****; everyone must worship me". Admittedly, it used to be that way, but I learned that lesson the hard way. Always gotta be grounded in reality, and not get too ahead of yourself or become delusional or conceited. Reality will always find a way to beat you down when this occurs. Even if you're attracting a lot of women - they will soon find you annoying, shallow, and want you to die by acting this way. And men straight out hate you for being an arrogant jackass.

So again, getting the girl was never the problem, and therefore, contrary to the OP's claims, there is no entitlement or whining in that regard. And it's not something I worry about. In fact, I tell people that hot girls are generally NOT worth getting involved with, stressing over, etc - due to their nature of being fake, shallow, stuck up, bratty, immature, spoiled, high class, entitled, two-faced, etc, etc. Getting involved with them doesn't change who they are, and it matters not one iota if they approach or pursue you first. They'll still play games, try to acquire the control, pull a bait & switch, manipulate you with their sexuality, etc, and you still gotta be prepared and aware.

These are all things I try to help other people with, so as to not make the same mistakes. Experience is an invaluable teacher.

Gotta get the facts before you assume things.

 

[JoeMarron]

Delusional self confidence is a plus when it comes to playing this game as long as you aren't so delusional to where you don't feel the need to improve.

 

[rhythmic]

Delusional self confidence is a plus when it comes to playing this game as long as you aren't so delusional to where you don't feel the need to improve.

It's a very temporary plus though - it's putting a band-aid on your personality rather than going through the much harder (but more worthwhile) route of gaining real self-confidence.