Why do women online agree to a first date then flake?

[Scormus]

. Eventually you reach a point where you can predict a flake before it even happens.

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Anything other than a keen yes is a high flake risk.

 

[AAAgent]

I respectfully disagree.

Proposing a date after just one or two emails may well make her feel extremely UNCOMFORTABLE--but isn't that what most of us actually WANT?

Don't we often have to sacrifice comfort in order to accomplish something or meet somebody worthwhile?

It's not MY job, nor is it my CONCERN, to comfort her. MY job is to meet her face-to-face and evolve the momentum forward. Let HER arrive at feeling comfortable (or not) with me. I'm concerned ONLY with how a chick makes ME feel...all I'm really trying to do is meet a chick who moves me below the belt or stimulates me in some way.

Some women, in my opinion, don't even WANT to feel comfortable before meeting a guy. They WANT the thrill, the unpredictability, perhaps even the DANGER of meeting a guy who is a complete stranger.

I never said it was your job to make them feel comfortable, but you will highly increase your chances of success/not flaking if you build rapport which is essentially building comfortability while getting their hamster spinning. This is excluding any external factors such as social proof/status/wealth. You can secure the date in 2-3 exchanges of text/email but i bet you the guy that makes her laugh through longer exchanges and makes her qualify herself more building rapport will probably be more successful assuming they're equal in standing of looks, status, and wealth.

 

[Scormus]

Even a bona-fide "yes" has flaked on me. Rare--but it happens every now and then.
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Yeah one really good looking girl messaged me first, we quickly agreed to the date and swapped numbers, and she texted me promptly.

Seemed keen then 4 hours before the date was to start she flaked.

"I am disillusioned with the online dating thing and not in the right frame of mind. You do have a good profile and great photos, its not you, its me".

She then deleted her profile and told me she had done so.

Whatever. I deleted her number already.

Head case and/or got pumped and dumped?

 

[Scormus]

flake

I've met a TON of women on match.com who have responded to me like this: "Well thanks for the compliment and for askign me out but I just met somebody and want to see where it goes. Best of luck to you"

That's not a flake, that's a rejection of the date invite and its happened to me a few times too.

Here is a flake along similar lines though: a 9 agrees to the date, texts me promptly to agree details, she compliments me on my direct approach. She says the earliest she can come out is the Tuesday and the exchange was on a Thursday. The time and place is agreed. On the morning of the date she flaked claiming she had met someone. I notice a couple of days later she has changed her main photo on the dating site. So it was hogwash. Lol.

I know that long run I should just laugh but it is troubling that the hottest girls flake more and the 6s almost always show up.

 

[nismo-4]

Who knows? It's perfectly natural to want to understand a woman's reason for flaking. We naturally want to feel in control, like we can solve problems.

Your princess is in another castle. Assume this and put her on the backburner or just drop her ass. Women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

Your situation is NOT unique. Happens ALL the time. To EVERY guy who's out there chasing tail. It's just part of the game.

But like I said before: I see absolutely NO reasoning or science behind flaking. Guys have TRIED to write stuff about "overcoming flaking" etc. But it's mostly hogwash to me.

Spin more plates.

Best to regard being flaked on as a barometer of success rather than failure. If you're not getting flaked on or rejected, you're likely not trying hard enough.

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? You can try, try, try, but what if you're not ACTUALLY GETTING?

At least she had the courtesy of telling you up front that the meeting was cancelled. I personally wouldn't have responded to her, though. I would have just deleted her name from my phone and also blocked her from contact and search on the Internet dating website.

Call it what you want, she rejected you.

I've met a TON of women on match.com who have responded to me like this: "Well thanks for the compliment and for asking me out but I just met somebody and want to see where it goes. Best of luck to you."

REJECTION!!!

I immediately BLOCK these women's profiles because 9 times out of 10, I'll see their profile hours later and notice that they're currently logged onto the website, which means they're probably still flirting with other men...so their email response about "meeting someone" is usually full of shiat...they just didn't have the gall to either just ignore my email or say, "Not interested."

If a woman rejects a man verbally with not interested, she'll lose attention. That's why they gotta resort to "soft" rejections like LJBF, Let's take it slow, Friends first, etc.

Any excuse without a counter offer is a rejection! Let's keep this in mind fellas!

 

[Scormus]

The biggest hogwash is that they don't care about looks as much as we do.

I have plenty of dates who do turn up, but none of them can model for Ann Summers.

 

[Vanilla]

Got stood up as well and was an online meet. She's very apologetic about it with a creative excuse but at the same time said it "flew her mind", yet wants to meet again.

This will be the first time I turn down a second chance since she obviously didn't care.

 

[Solomon]

Flaking is a function of sex rank and options.

The younger and more attractive a girl is in relation to the local market, the higher her sex rank. The higher her sex rank, the more options she has. Most attractive girls (especially online) will commit to multiple options and pick the best one at the last minute. Or, they will give you a soft 'yes' and flake if something better comes up. Just part of the game.

A flake in my book is an automatic NEXT with no second chances.

^^THIS

I had a girl flake on me saying her best friend was in a coma, later on I get a butt dial from her at the bar drunkily still standing to her weak story

:crackup:

Another chick who I already went on a date with a few days later flaked on me as well saying "I feel under the weather can we reschedule" I responded back with "OK" and never heard from her again

I've lost empathy for women who flake even if they are "sick" I just don't care to give them the benefit of the doubt. I've heard some of the best flaking excuses that could win women oscars unless a women apolgoizes profously or makes a SOLID counteroffer then maybe I will