Why do women loathe pornography so much?

[MatureDJ]

I noticed this website http://www.outinthelight.com/ , and it got me thinking. Why is it that so many women loathe pornography? Is it that pornography helps to satisfy the libido urging in men, thereby making men less beholden to women's control over sexuality? Shouldn't men equally loathe the stupid romantic comedies and stories, that get women into thinking that their man must be a hopeless romantic at all times, etc.?

And what exactly is a "pornography addiction"? If a man has a fat wife that always has a "headache", is he a porn addict just because he likes to look at pictures of a few nekkid women from time to time? And since women wearing a bathing suit or a cheerleader outfit are considered by some to be "soft-core" porn, does that make a guy going to a football game and looking down at the cheerleaders from time to time, or a guy at the beach checking out some bathing bikini beauties, a porn addict as well? If so, it would seem that the only way to get around not looking at pornography is to have women dress in burqas like in conservative Islamic countries!

 

[zekko]

Some women don't mind pornography, but as you noted a lot of them have a very negative reaction toward it. I think it's because they feel threatened by it. They don't think their own bodies can measure up to the porn models. They don't think they can measure up to the variety of women available through porn. And they don't think they can measure up to some of the freaky acts that are depicted.

I can understand that some women may have a genuine moral issue with pornography, but I think insecurity drives a lot of their objections.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's simple supply and demand. Women's primary agency over men is their sexuality. Their ability to control access to it, both socially and psychologically, is the cornerstone of women's covert power. Thus anything overtly sexualized for men is a perversion, while anything overtly sexualized for women is arousing. Ever wonder why masturbation for a man is equatable with failure or shame while a woman masturbating is a turn on and empowering?

Feminine social conventions always serve to make women's sexual agency more valuable. Pornography is a direct affront to this valuation because it gives men convenient unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. Furthermore it removes the blinders she'd rather have him wear; It also allows men to make relatively objective comparisons of sexual performance and physical standards amongst women that she's at a greater long term advantage were he not to make them. Competition anxiety is every woman's bugbear, so any social dictum that helps to limit it only serves her purpose.

 

[Derek Vance]

1) The reminder of what we truly value a woman for is a slap in the face.

We want a chick who his hot, f**ks on demand at any time of the day, and does anything and everything we want in bed...happily. The vast majority of guys (90%) would happily forgive a zillion character/LTR flaws for this idealized woman. We place such a low value on a woman's intelligence, career, opinions, etc. that it must be a slap in the face to those girls who put emphasis on these traits.

2) A raised bar of expectations in bed.

Additionally, think of how high the bar has been raised for them. The past 30 years of exposure, increased in the past 15, has clearly told men it is okay to expect a woman to do everything we want. That is a very powerful force.

Think of all the things we now expect a girlfriend type girl to do. At a minimum we demand trim/shave bush, regular bj's done pornstar style (with a deepthroat attempt or two in each session), and 10 minute ball sucking sessions. For a girl to be considered for girlfriend status we have other minimums...swallow, deepthroat, anal, accept some moderate face slapping and many others. Some girls, no matter how hard we try to "change" them simply are not programmed for this. This madonna/***** issue is something we all need help conquering.

Personally, I have not had a single girl in the past 5 years have a problem with porn. I would say the last time I heard resistance was around 2000.

 

[squirrels]

Some women don't mind pornography, but as you noted a lot of them have a very negative reaction toward it. I think it's because they feel threatened by it. They don't think their own bodies can measure up to the porn models. They don't think they can measure up to the variety of women available through porn. And they don't think they can measure up to some of the freaky acts that are depicted.

I can understand that some women may have a genuine moral issue with pornography, but I think insecurity drives a lot of their objections.

This. It's a result of insecurity.

Most women don't mind their man indulging in porn once in a while...but doing so repeatedly can make them feel inadequate sexually...especially if her man is IGNORING her in favor of pornography.

If it's that important to you that the sex be pornstar-caliber, don't get into an "LTR" with a girl who can't provide that and it won't be a problem.

 

[Kailex]

Porn makes them insecure.
Unreal expectations about their body and sexual lives...

But to be honest, you could make a great many things that women "loathe".

Replace the word porn with the words "video games".
Replace "video games" with "sports".
Replace the word "sports" with "cars".

The list could go on and on and inevitably come to one conclusion, women loathe anything that could detract a man's attention from them. Anything that could compete with them being in the spotlight is a menace and loathesome, even if it's an inanimate object... because generally speaking, it should ALL be about the woman... right? At least that's what THEY would love to think.

 

[Fuglydude]

All women don't hate porn... my fiance looks at sicker shiiite than me!

 

[jafyk]

Porn makes them insecure.
Unreal expectations about their body and sexual lives...

But to be honest, you could make a great many things that women "loathe".

Replace the word porn with the words "video games".
Replace "video games" with "sports".
Replace the word "sports" with "cars".

The list could go on and on and inevitably come to one conclusion, women loathe anything that could detract a man's attention from them. Anything that could compete with them being in the spotlight is a menace and loathesome, even if it's an inanimate object... because generally speaking, it should ALL be about the woman... right? At least that's what THEY would love to think.

IMO this is the best answer to the original question.

To add something of my own. Women have no right to complain about porn. There'd be no porn without women would there? So, if they were that passionate about being anti-porn none of them should be there making it in the first place. Sell yourself for money then complain later.

 

[jafyk]

It's simple supply and demand. Women's primary agency over men is their sexuality. Their ability to control access to it, both socially and psychologically, is the cornerstone of women's covert power. Thus anything overtly sexualized for men is a perversion, while anything overtly sexualized for women is arousing. Ever wonder why masturbation for a man is equatable with failure or shame while a woman masturbating is a turn on and empowering?

Feminine social conventions always serve to make women's sexual agency more valuable. Pornography is a direct affront to this valuation because it gives men convenient unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. Furthermore it removes the blinders she'd rather have him wear; It also allows men to make relatively objective comparisons of sexual performance and physical standards amongst women that she's at a greater long term advantage were he not to make them. Competition anxiety is every woman's bugbear, so any social dictum that helps to limit it only serves her purpose.

Rollo I'm kinda feeling what you are writing there. However can you dumb it down a lil. You tend to write so sophiticatedly at times and while I can see some of your points I loose the meaning. Trust me I really like reading your stuff and it would be great to totally understand it. Thanks.

 

[st_99]

Porn makes them insecure.

This.

 

[mrRuckus]

No, let's not write on a lesser level because you never got around to learning some basic words.

 

[Da Realist]

There two reasons I think of: women hate other women and insecurity.

Chris Rock told the truth when he said women hate each other and it's been my experience that without men, they would kill each other. Since birth each woman tries to compete with either a real woman or some imaginary threat they only see. Moms and daughters compete for daddy's affection or a mom doesn't like her son's new girlfriend eventhough she hasn't done anything. From there it goes to the group of girlfriends that try to mess up a good relationship one of them finally gets into, sleeping with a woman's man just to get at another one, or going to the club and trying to be the center of attention. And the worst thing is that they take the battles personal. Men can fight and be friends afterward, but a woman will be the sworn enemy of another until a new one moves in that pisses them both off. So when your girl even suspects another woman may be involved, she gives you crap if she can't take her out personally.

The second one is just the nature of women. Women go through life always thinking they're missing something eventhough there will always be a man that will go after them. Until they wise up, they're never complete and porn makes it even worse. A man gives his attention to the "perfect" woman: one that looks great, is willing to do anything he wants at anytime, and will not give him problems. How can she measure up? She feels she can't eventhough the guy is with her, so he gets mad at the woman on the screen that is monument to her imperfections.

On the flipside, there are men who have a problem and neglect their women for something that isn't real. Women will fight with each other and not feel good about their own unique beauty, but a man must know how to let them know that each woman has a certain place his life that the other cannot and will not fulfill as well as letting his woman know he chose her out of the rest of the for a specific reason. No relationship survives without some type of give and take, so a man can't ever deny a woman of what she needs from him while expecting to get everything he wants.

 

[Zarky]

I don't think what Rollo said can be dumbed down. Technical words are often necessary to convey advanced thoughts. It was very true.

But my question would be, why do we care whether certain women love or hate porn? If I were feeling out a chick to determine whether or not to get into a relationship and she said she hated porn, I'd just dump her. I don't really care why she doesn't like it. I understand if women aren't turned on by it or whatever, but if they "hate" it or don't like the fact that men watch it, then they're nobody I want to get into a rel'p with. End of story.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Women only hate porn when you use it to replace them.

 

[Alchemystic]

You are over - generalizing. Women do not hate pornography (some do anyway). I have meet tons of women who love pornography. You are using a faulty logic that Nice Guy's commonly employ which is Over - generalizing.
It would not matter what I say here anyway because it is going to be deleted by some moderator.

This happens when you meet the wrong kind of women in your life. Unfortunately for Nice Guys, they met the wrong women in their lives because they attract the wrong women in their lives.

I have always wondered in the past, "Why do Bad Boys have such High Quality women?
Why do Bad Boys have such amazingly beautiful women who are giving them such amazingly hot sex while us Nice Guys are stuck with these fat, ugly, conservative, religious prudes?"



Then I started to realize that I am stuck with them because they are the girls who are attracted to Nice Guys.
Then I started to ponder, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why are Nice Guys such losers?
What's with Bad Boys that makes them attract these sort of girls?
Then I read the a book of Marquis de Sade.
I found out that Masochistic individuals are attracted to Sadistic people and Sadistic individuals are attracted to Masochistic individuals as well.
Givers like to give.
Takers like to take.
The givers are attracted to takers and the takers are attracted to givers.


P.S.
And sometimes we make porno although we do not call it porno. We call it sex scandals. And Sometimes, we watched sex videos while having sex.

"And one time in Band Camp, I stuck a flute in my ****" - From American Pie

 

[Bible_Belt]

The givers are attracted to takers and the takers are attracted to givers.

I agree.

 

[sharkbeat]

I watch porn from time to time just to keep my **** in check. I like having that bulging feeling. But of course, when there's a woman to do that to me, I don't need porn.

What they think of it, I don't care, and neither should you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The true cosmic irony that women will never admit is that porn has probably saved more families and marriages than it's ever destroyed. Women hate that truth, but when a wife goes frigid, or gets fat, or simply can't stand the idea of ƒucking her husband, and the only real option for sexual release is either porn or infidelity, they'd rather turn a blind eye to porn. She'd much rather a guy snap his radish to porn than proactively get control of his life and ditch her and the kids for a better sexual prospect. They hate it, but they don't hate it that much.

 

[Colossus]

The list could go on and on and inevitably come to one conclusion, women loathe anything that could detract a man's attention from them. Anything that could compete with them being in the spotlight is a menace and loathesome, even if it's an inanimate object... because generally speaking, it should ALL be about the woman... right? At least that's what THEY would love to think.

Wise words. To add to that, when it IS all about her, she will make her man's life miserable. They cant handle it----as much as they think it would be nirvana, as we all know, it doesnt work.