Why do women complain about men "not knowing what they want" ?

[FlexpertHamilton]

For years now i've been hearing women complain that "men don't know what they want" or saying describing "men who know what they want" as a desirable trait they look for. What's even more puzzling is that single mothers seem to say this even more, as well as older women near or post wall.

Everyone knows what men want. We want sex. What's there to understand? What's really going on here? Is this just some kind of cope to explain the fact that they have deluded themselves into thinking a Chad would want to wife them up but get frustrated that he pumps and dumps them?

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Why do women complain about men "not knowing what they want" ?"

They're no less caught up in The Culture Of Grievance that periodically becomes pervasive throughout America than everyone else is. TCOG was riding high from the late 80s-late 90s

https://reason.com/1994/07/01/man-troubles/ (Quote: "Baber is encouraged by signs that "victim feminism" is waning, and he is confident that "victim masculism" will not prevail either: "As the complaints build, we're going to get tired of it, both sides, and then both men and women are going to ask, OK, now what are we gonna do? And so the culture of complaint will eventually burn itself out.")

And, as Frank Bruni has recently observed

Frank Bruni's "The Age of Grievance"- Think with Krys Boyd

Frank Bruni joins host Krys Boyd to discuss why Americans are finding identities in grievances and how we are missing out on what’s working for the country.

think.kera.org

It's been in fashion once again, from '16-today. This fad will lose it's potency after awhile, and discussing what we ourselves desire(Instead of relentlessly groaning over how f-cked up everyone else is)will become hip once more

'Tis The Circle Of Life

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It's so they can pigeonhole guys into either "just wanting sex" or "open to being a provider/taking things slow"

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Yeah, men definitely want sex and that's no secret.

The problem is, guys are out there giving false impressions (mixed signals) to women that they want to settle down and/or she is the only one, all while still entertaining other pieces of puzzy on the side.

So, what do you want? (The question women ask).

This is a legitimate question.

I have a cousin who acts like he doesn't know what he wants..

You talk to him one week, and he is like "Mann, FUK these ho's. I ain't trying to settle down.

Then the next week, "I'm tired of this shiit. Give me one good biitch to settle down with, and I'm straight. I'm getting to old for this shiit".

Back to the question; WTF do you want?

Some guys are like that...flip-floppity.

 

[BaronOfHair]

.Yeah, men definitely want sex and that's no secret

And it's what allows our species to survive and prosper. Let's all start openly championing this as the virtue that it self-evidently is

 

[inquisitor]

For years now i've been hearing women complain that "men don't know what they want" or saying describing "men who know what they want" as a desirable trait they look for. What's even more puzzling is that single mothers seem to say this even more, as well as older women near or post wall.

Everyone knows what men want. We want sex. What's there to understand? What's really going on here? Is this just some kind of cope to explain the fact that they have deluded themselves into thinking a Chad would want to wife them up but get frustrated that he pumps and dumps them?

You misunderstood the point.

If a man does not know what he wants, he is like a sailor lost at sea.

To address your first point, women say that as a way of saying "men lead, and women follow". It's not merely desirable, it's fundamental. On the other hand, some girls also say that to point the blame outside themselves. Who knows, maybe their husbands left them and it wasn't their fault, or they were damaged by boys who didn't know what they were doing. There are also girls who can't see through their own selves, who complain too much without ever thinking about their own actions, so they look for the easy scapegoats.

Answering that men want sex is the wrong way to understand. Men don't only and shouldn't only want sex.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Is this just some kind of cope to explain the fact that they have deluded themselves into thinking a Chad would want to wife them up but get frustrated that he pumps and dumps them?

Pretty much.

Guy meets girl.

Guy bangs girl until it's not longer interesting.

Then he tries to detach himself.

The truth would be, "I'm no longer interested in having sex with you, therefore there's no reason for me to hang around you."

But what he says is, "I need to figure some stuff out, I'm not sure what I want..."

 

[inquisitor]

Pretty much.

Guy meets girl.

Guy bangs girl until it's not longer interesting.

Then he tries to detach himself.

The truth would be, "I'm no longer interested in having sex with you, therefore there's no reason for me to hang around you."

But what he says is, "I need to figure some stuff out, I'm not sure what I want..."

The truth could also be sexual incompatibility.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Apply this to any women logic: Women are only talking about the guys they are attracted to physically or economically. The rest of men are completely invisible to them!

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Pretty much.

Guy meets girl.

Guy bangs girl until it's not longer interesting.

Then he tries to detach himself.

The truth would be, "I'm no longer interested in having sex with you, therefore there's no reason for me to hang around you."

But what he says is, "I need to figure some stuff out, I'm not sure what I want..."

This is exactly why, for the gazillionith time, Mode One works.

No bullshiit, I just watched an old video of Alan Roger Currie (ARC) and he touched on this very point.

He said that he never had to mislead a woman or engage in any kind of rapport building or emotional connections with women that he ONLY wanted to have casual sex with.

To his point, with Mode One, not only are you telling a woman that you want to engage in sex with her...but you are also straight-forward with her about what kind of sex you want with her..

1. Short term non-monogamous sex.

2. Long term non-monogamous sex.

When you are that honest with women and put all the cards on the table, that leaves no room for a woman to get the wrong impression, and she will NEVER have to ask you "what do you want"...because you already told her.

"I want to have short term non-monogamous sex with you."

Doesn't get any more plain and honest than that.

But guys aren't doing that, though.

Guys are being Mode 2.. vague, embigoius, and leaving the doors open for misunderstandings and miscommunication...whether advertanly or inadvertently.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Probably because if they do any amount of listening they should KNOW...

But the same way men run out of things to say when women give you two or three new topics or follow up questions during conversations but because most guys are too busy worrying about what they want to say and not actually listening to what the woman is saying they miss them.

During the course of a relationship, if you are listening you would already know...but just like in shorter timeframe conversations, most men aren't listening then either.

 

[BeExcellent]

For years now i've been hearing women complain that "men don't know what they want" or saying describing "men who know what they want" as a desirable trait they look for. What's even more puzzling is that single mothers seem to say this even more, as well as older women near or post wall.

Everyone knows what men want. We want sex. What's there to understand? What's really going on here? Is this just some kind of cope to explain the fact that they have deluded themselves into thinking a Chad would want to wife them up but get frustrated that he pumps and dumps them?

The old lady agrees that this is complete "cope" by delusional women who are not attractive enough to be worthy of a relationship with the men she *REALLY* wants, and it is typically the by product of confusion when the desirable guy will shag her, but won't date her.

This is not something I personally have dealt with but I see it happen to women I am acquainted with. I know 3 women right now who are single & complain this way on occassion.

One is an ex fashion model. She is beautiful and tall & slender but she is a complete weirdo around men, starts randomly blurting out mystical bull crap & her body language is completely closed off too. Met her through a male friend I used to hang out with. She is also quite insecure & actually used to guilt trip me after I got married because I was no longer available to hang out spontaneously. Um. Lady I'm married. Husband is top priority, sorry. She has never been married although she has a grown son with a very rich RE Developer. I know why he didn't put a ring on it...she's cuckoo!

The second used to be very pretty and thin but she has been the town bicycle and no man wants to wife that up. She used to be involved, casually as FWB with my husband (I met her through him as they remained friends - no more sex- which makes conversations very funny at times) but she's also got a degenerative condition, is a hoarder, is becoming a cat lady and a Barbie fixation (BAD)....Even though she is very chill & smart, men don't want to be serious with her. She's a 304.

The third gal is pear shaped and frumpy looking, and tends to say socially inappropriate things at times as she tries to be cool & fun (I met her through one of my player guy friends).....She's totally deluded about the attractiveness level required to date the men she really wants to date, but she thinks sexual interest equals actual long term interest.

I limit time with the above women (and did when I was single) because they are unattractive in individually specific ways and they turn off the desirable guys they want while at the same time actively rejecting the men who express genuine interest in them. I much preferred to hang out with other (+) energy very attractive women (and myself and my very attractive girlfriends NEVER heard these kinds of excuses - men were always trying to lock us down!) Myself and my 2 most attractive gfs have all gotten married over the past year so each of us is off the market.

But certainly it's a cope based on what I observe. It's the equivalent of copes we hear on SS from men who are not attractive enough to be visible to the women they *think* they are entitled to whilst bringing no equivalent value to the table.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Guys are being Mode 2.. vague, embigoius, and leaving the doors open for misunderstandings and miscommunication...whether advertanly or inadvertently.

I don't think the guys that are doing that are too worried about the female's confusion.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I don't think the guys that are doing that are too worried about the female's confusion.

That's the point.

Because if they were, then the question of the thread wouldn't have to be asked.

If you are only getting puzzy based on misunderstandings and miscommunications then you are no true alpha male.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Projection likely

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

This is exactly why, for the gazillionith time, Mode One works.

No bullshiit, I just watched an old video of Alan Roger Currie (ARC) and he touched on this very point.

He said that he never had to mislead a woman or engage in any kind of rapport building or emotional connections with women that he ONLY wanted to have casual sex with.

To his point, with Mode One, not only are you telling a woman that you want to engage in sex with her...but you are also straight-forward with her about what kind of sex you want with her..

1. Short term non-monogamous sex.

2. Long term non-monogamous sex.

When you are that honest with women and put all the cards on the table, that leaves no room for a woman to get the wrong impression, and she will NEVER have to ask you "what do you want"...because you already told her.

"I want to have short term non-monogamous sex with you."

Doesn't get any more plain and honest than that.

But guys aren't doing that, though.

Guys are being Mode 2.. vague, embigoius, and leaving the doors open for misunderstandings and miscommunication...whether advertanly or inadvertently.

The thing is that most men dont have a LMS high enough to close that deal and in order to add "value" they have to sell a relationship or the potential for one.

Most men that scored women above their level did so by committing.

What you suggest (to which I totally agree) works only if a guy is a chad or at least a chad lite.

An everyday average man wouldnt get his own wife if he didnt put commitment and relationships on the table.

The same thing happens with cute but plain/boring women that sell a chance for sex in order to get dinners and trips while if they offered only "their company" no man would even bother to buy them a drink.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The thing is that most men dont have a LMS high enough to close that deal and in order to add "value" they have to sell a relationship or the potential for one.

Then that is being dishonest and is a corruptive moral character.

The only value you should add to a woman's life (if you want strictly sex), is d!ck.

All of that other sh!t is superficial, and irrelevant.

Now, if you are looking for monogamy, then sure...more may be needed.

But for strictly casual sex, all you need to bring to the table is sex appeal.

Most men that scored women above their level did so by committing.

Then they weren't honest with themselves, or the women.

What you suggest (to which I totally agree) works only if a guy is a chad or at least a chad lite.

Not at all.

Alpha's know better than to commit to women, if commitment is not where they want to be.

An everyday average man wouldnt get his own wife if he didnt put commitment and relationships on the table.

Isnt that is what having a wife is all about?

Commitment & relationship?

The same thing happens with cute but plain/boring women that sell a chance for sex in order to get dinners and trips while if they offered only "their company" no man would even bother to buy them a drink.

ARC calls such women a "manipulative time wasters".

Mode One helps you weed those type of women out.

 

[RangerMIke]

Generally speaking, women really don't care what men want. They care about what they want and how a man helps them attain their desires. But to be honest, men are the same way, both partners work to have their needs met, while compromising when possible or necessary. But it is true that women are more like this then men, first in part because they are masters of emotional manipulation.... and women have more options and in most cases are in a power position.

When a person says, "I don't know what my partner wants." What is really going on is they cannot figure out how to manipulate them, or form a basis for compromise.

To explain this... imagine you are a car salesman... and a customer comes in... and that customer will not tell you what they are looking for, the customer is just sitting there and not responding to your questions... you want to sell the car, but if the customer is not telling you what their motivations are... it's impossible to emotionally manipulate them.

If a woman wants to drive a man crazy, then all she has to do is not care what a man gives her: if a man wants to drive a woman crazy then all he has to do is indicate they do not care about sex... or put out the vibe that they can get sex anywhere they want. Men expect that women will respond to gifts and things you do for her (generally ungrateful) ... and if this isn't working most men do not know what to do about it. If a man gives an indication, they do not care about getting sex from her... well... that is her principal trade good.

 

[The Duke]

For years now i've been hearing women complain that "men don't know what they want" or saying describing "men who know what they want" as a desirable trait they look for. What's even more puzzling is that single mothers seem to say this even more, as well as older women near or post wall.

Everyone knows what men want. We want sex. What's there to understand? What's really going on here? Is this just some kind of cope to explain the fact that they have deluded themselves into thinking a Chad would want to wife them up but get frustrated that he pumps and dumps them?

When women say "men don't know what they want" it always comes after realizing she can't lock him down and he won't commit.

A man that knows what he wants is a man that is as attracted to her and she is to him and wants to have a relationship deeper than sex.

Just another example of women not wanting to be responsible for their own shortcomings.

 

[Bokanovsky]

describing "men who know what they want" as a desirable trait they look for. What's even more puzzling is that single mothers seem to say this even more, as well as older women near or post wall.

What they actually mean is "men who want what we want them to want". In other words, men who want single moms, post-wall women and other assorted leftovers.