Why do woman take offence when asking them out in everyday situations???

[Wolfgang D]

No, this girl was VERY chatty with me. Asking me personal questions and crap like "what do you do for work, what's the name of your business, etc". This girl was talking to me like she was on a date with me and trying to get to know me. You had to be there I guess. She was basically asking questions a girl that is interested in you would be asking.

That is unusually chatty indeed. Then she was really leading you on, that is bad form. Luckily you were experienced enough to smell the rodent.

This advice is for a typical looking dude, of course there are guys out there that just throw semen at women and collect numbers all day.

LOL Funny!

Kind of reminds me of my job--I cold call for a living. If I adopted the mentality of, "Well, business people are too concerned about getting stuff done during the day so I really shouldn't be calling them because I'm just bothering them..." I would be out of job.

Very good point. And having done cold calls myself, I know you'll agree that the similarities between cold calls and DJ game are many. Many indeed. People need to learn how to be a Dwight or a Jim to succeed. (What guys am I talking about? Anyone?)

Heck, we could make a thread just showing how the lessons from cold calls can be applied to game. It would sound very similar to the DJ Bible.



Now, for Duracell Bunny. Kudos for doing cold approaches. You belong to us Filthy Few, we should have our own badges sewn on to our vests here at SS. Keep going, you will eventually find a girl who is receptive. Provided you don't come off as too pushy or creepy. I have done tons of cold approaches. Sometimes I get the reaction you talk about. Many times not.

One thing to think about: don't ask them out. Especially not the same day. Instead you lead the conversation into a natural further contact. I find a reason to get a girl's email address in order to send her some information about something we have talked about. Maybe she needs a good source for her school work or something. A girl is more comfortable handing over an email address than a cellphone number. (They don't want guys to turn out to be weirdos who call them in the middle of the night.) Then I send over the info together with some casual comment the next day. She replies to the comment. I wait a while and reply to that. Then hey, I'm going to be at X (close to where she works or lives) two days from now, wanna have a cup of coffee?

I follow this pattern pretty much always. That way she gets to see that you are not in hot pursuit, you sound normal and casual, it's okay to have a cup of coffee with you.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Pretty sure your hit rate in JAPAN, would by nearly 100% if a girl did this.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I'm just goddamn lucky I'm tall. I actually got hit on the other day by a woman in a hospital elevator who was commenting on my height and saying how awful it is in this society for guys who aren't tall. I totally agree with her, social graces are just a thin veneer over some realities that are extremely primitive and unpleasant.

you sure she was hitting on you or just using you for attention?

 

[dasein]

Learned how to deal with this long ago. 1. Presume interest or an invitation. 2. Decline in a nonchalant way.

"I'm getting off in an hour and my friends have cancelled on me."
"Damn, I'm busy tonight, so can't help you there."

You can turn lots of their chatter into this kind of thing by not really paying that close attention to what they are saying. It works well IME and have had lots of success with it, they often ask me out directly the next time we see each other. Half of picking up women involves not paying that much attention to what they say and just responding to it however. This can be tough when you are the approacher as usual, but it's doable with practice. The ugly truth of it is that they know exactly what they are doing and setting up for the perverse satisfaction lots of them get from rejecting a guy and seeing if he will AFC chase, then they can well and truly rule him out of their panties. Don't play their game, assume they are playing yours and amazingly many of them will start stepping to.

 

[bigneil]

Low interest.

 

[DonGorgon]

women only take offense when a man they don't like asks them out .. women determine compliments vs insults based on their level of attraction to the dude

 

[XMinister]

While not always the case, sometimes it's as simple as they don't want to talk to anyone. Some people take offense to being asked for the time in the street.

 

[user name]

Maybe they are not taking offense.

Maybe it's just you that is perceiving it this way.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

The harder I work, the luckier I get.

I'm 6-2 220 and fit and it helps. I consider my height and body a strength. But I believe that hard work--not luck--is what ultimately makes a guy successful.

You can be the perfect height and body type but if you're unemployed and lack confidence from within, you ain't gonna be as attractive as the 5-9 guy with the nice car and magnetic personality.

I don't agree that you have to be "born" with certain genetics in order to consider yourself sexually attractive. That's a loser's mentality and a lack of self-worth.

on one of the very hardcore rare occasions a woman does approach a man first and hits on him, i'd say it's very likely she is using him for an ego boost, not actually attracted to him

 

[user name]

on one of the very hardcore rare occasions a woman does approach a man first and hits on him, i'd say it's very likely she is using him for an ego boost, not actually attracted to him

saying that theory were correct, wouldn't it be more of an ego boost if she approached a man she was attracted to rather than one she wasn't?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

saying that theory were correct, wouldn't it be more of an ego boost if she approached a man she was attracted to rather than one she wasn't?

just a guess of mine in what I previous said, assumption, but yeah it would be a huge ego, pride confidence boost, would be nice if women approached men as much as we do to them, that would be a perfect world but after all obviously it's not a perfect world,

 

[JaegerPilot217]

saying that theory were correct, wouldn't it be more of an ego boost if she approached a man she was attracted to rather than one she wasn't?

just a guess of mine in what I previous said, assumption, but yeah it would be a huge ego, pride confidence boost, would be nice if women approached men as much as we do to them, that would be a perfect world but after all obviously it's not a perfect world, not gonna hold my breath for that so I just bite the bullet and go for it

 

[user name]

just a guess of mine in what I previous said, assumption, but yeah it would be a huge ego, pride confidence boost, would be nice if women approached men as much as we do to them, that would be a perfect world but after all obviously it's not a perfect world, not gonna hold my breath for that so I just bite the bullet and go for it

as i said when i was in my teens/20's/early 30's i didn't need to approach.

guess i was spoilt in that way.

 

[D Wolfgang]

just a guess of mine in what I previous said, assumption, but yeah it would be a huge ego, pride confidence boost, would be nice if women approached men as much as we do to them, that would be a perfect world but after all obviously it's not a perfect world,

Would it, though? I think most people wouldn't be able to handle it. It would lead to much fewer marriages, and much more marriages being broken up. That sounds great to an adult man who wants more sex. It is not great for the children. Kids who have to grow up without their fathers have lower grades in school, lower incomes, and commit more crime. I come to think of black people in the U.S. having higher marriage rates than whites as late as the 1920s, but today 70 percent of black kids grow up without their fathers - these do consistently worse than the ones whose parents are married.

Personally I am not married, and I get bored after being together with a girl for too long. But I don't let my own desires cloud my perception of the world. I know that a world where women's sex drive was as high as men would not be a better world, even though I personally would like to meet such women.

A solution - legal prostitution, perhaps? So that a man doesn't have to live for twenty years and more, having sex with only one woman. And maybe in the future we can hook up our minds to a computer and experience perfectly simulated sex. It would be the best invention since sliced bread.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Would it, though? I think most people wouldn't be able to handle it. It would lead to much fewer marriages, and much more marriages being broken up. That sounds great to an adult man who wants more sex. It is not great for the children. Kids who have to grow up without their fathers have lower grades in school, lower incomes, and commit more crime. I come to think of black people in the U.S. having higher marriage rates than whites as late as the 1920s, but today 70 percent of black kids grow up without their fathers - these do consistently worse than the ones whose parents are married.

Personally I am not married, and I get bored after being together with a girl for too long. But I don't let my own desires cloud my perception of the world. I know that a world where women's sex drive was as high as men would not be a better world, even though I personally would like to meet such women.

A solution - legal prostitution, perhaps? So that a man doesn't have to live for twenty years and more, having sex with only one woman. And maybe in the future we can hook up our minds to a computer and experience perfectly simulated sex. It would be the best invention since sliced bread.

The last part you mentioned, reminded me of an episode of Married with Children

 

[JaegerPilot217]

It was the episode where Bud Bundy does a virtual cyber sex experiment and in the storyline it gave him the pleasure of the real thing, maybe that is something in store for the future

 

[Wolfgang D]

It was the episode where Bud Bundy does a virtual cyber sex experiment and in the storyline it gave him the pleasure of the real thing, maybe that is something in store for the future

Ah, I was gonna ask, which part? Prostitution, Virtual-Reality sex or you got a hankering for toast?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Ah, I was gonna ask, which part? Prostitution, Virtual-Reality sex or you got a hankering for toast?

Virtual reality sex

 

[spang]

i used to have this same problem. i would get rejected and then they would avoid me. you have to train yourself to not care about the outcome. if youre rejected and it bothers you that they ignore you, then you cared.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

It also helps to learn from mistakes, after all, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, gotta modify approaches