why do woman respond to "detached" guys?

[PlatoPacks23]

I noticed whenever I'm "detached, unemotional/verging on a robot" with woman emotionally or just in my demeanor it tends to get them more attracted rather than I'm "myself" and more upbeat and expressive if that makes sense.

WHY is that?

 

[itouchyou]

nonreactiveness indicates being unmoved, still, calm - these are signs of strength, that's why women are attracted to it.

simple example, if you're out one day with your woman and there's an explosion in the distance; do you think she'd be more attracted to you if you jumped and started screaming, or if you merely looked over and were nonreactive?

not only that but being nonreactive indicates you're not impressed or overly interested. shows that you have options, shows that you don't get attached easily, and shows that you see yourself as being above the woman - the last one in particular makes her think you are above her.

in contrast to the guy that shows extreme interest and involvement with the woman, that shows that she is above him. future divorce/cheating relationship right there.

 

[BPH]

nonreactiveness indicates being unmoved, still, calm - these are signs of strength, that's why women are attracted to it.

simple example, if you're out one day with your woman and there's an explosion in the distance; do you think she'd be more attracted to you if you jumped and started screaming, or if you merely looked over and were nonreactive?

not only that but being nonreactive indicates you're not impressed or overly interested. shows that you have options, shows that you don't get attached easily, and shows that you see yourself as being above the woman - the last one in particular makes her think you are above her.

in contrast to the guy that shows extreme interest and involvement with the woman, that shows that she is above him. future divorce/cheating relationship right there.

As much as your username concerns me, this is a pretty solid answer.

 

[Ricky]

I think women like it when they can’t figure a guy out completely. Being less predictable makes you less boring and they think about you more.

Detached guys are less likely to be predictable

 

[Bokanovsky]

I noticed whenever I'm "detached, unemotional/verging on a robot" with woman emotionally or just in my demeanor it tends to get them more attracted rather than I'm "myself" and more upbeat and expressive if that makes sense.

WHY is that?

Daddy issues.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I noticed whenever I'm "detached, unemotional/verging on a robot" with woman emotionally or just in my demeanor it tends to get them more attracted rather than I'm "myself" and more upbeat and expressive if that makes sense.

WHY is that?

Nerves of steel/not being easily rattled are an archtypically masculine trait

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Uncertainty

 

[Chow Mein]

I think women like it when they can’t figure a guy out completely. Being less predictable makes you less boring and they think about you more.

Detached guys are less likely to be predictable

Unpredictability has kept the women I date coming back.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Self-sufficiency and confidence are attractive because they create emotional distance, which sparks insecurity in others. When someone appears detached, it triggers a fear of being unwanted or losing their attention, causing possible suitors—or even others around them—to feel insecure and more eager to gain approval. People are drawn to what they can't easily have or fully possess—this taps into vanity and the need to feel desired. A detached demeanor signals that you’re not easily won, making others work harder to capture your attention.

By seeming emotionally distant, you create a sense of challenge that drives others to prove their worth. This dynamic fuels their desire to win you over, as they become more invested in gaining your affection. In love and attraction, the fear of being rejected or losing someone often outweighs the joy of being pursued, making people more eager to chase after what seems out of reach.

 

[Doctor Doom]

It’s called not losing frame. Something men must never do.

 

[jhonny9546]

nonreactiveness indicates being unmoved, still, calm - these are signs of strength, that's why women are attracted to it.

simple example, if you're out one day with your woman and there's an explosion in the distance; do you think she'd be more attracted to you if you jumped and started screaming, or if you merely looked over and were nonreactive?

I know of a LTR filled with arguments, where the man is unresponsive. Even when they are together—perhaps taking a group photo, dancing, or attempting to express emotions—he remains cold. But when He have to scold her or impose him, show aggressive behaviour, and she shut up.

Even when she texts him about marriage, sharing dreams of growing old together and many other things, he continues to be indifferent, simply responding with "OK," "good," or "let's see."

In short, he acts like a computer. And yet, the relationship has endured for 10 years, with its ups and downs.

This reminds me when you were young and cold, and someone like your uncle would come to you to give a kiss, and you didn't wanted, but she eventually find the way to kiss you anyway.

By seeming emotionally distant, you create a sense of challenge that drives others to prove their worth. This dynamic fuels their desire to win you over, as they become more invested in gaining your affection. In love and attraction, the fear of being rejected or losing someone often outweighs the joy of being pursued, making people more eager to chase after what seems out of reach.

So, this is a good point. How do you manage to be sociable, cheerful, and open, while at the same time being mysterious and detached? It's like saying "night" and "day."

I notice that I can be "day" at certain times and "night" at others. Given the scenario.
Does this mean I can handle both, unconsciously?

Also, as someone here on the forum said, we should act like "day" when you want to validate a woman, and "night" when you don't. Anyway, this behaviour should be natural, and not faked.

Also, there is a treshold which if you are too much "night", you'll be labeled as a "robot". So how do you make sure you're not too much on the "night" spectrum"?

 

[The Duke]

Self-sufficiency and confidence are attractive because they create emotional distance, which sparks insecurity in others. When someone appears detached, it triggers a fear of being unwanted or losing their attention, causing possible suitors—or even others around them—to feel insecure and more eager to gain approval. People are drawn to what they can't easily have or fully possess—this taps into vanity and the need to feel desired. A detached demeanor signals that you’re not easily won, making others work harder to capture your attention.

By seeming emotionally distant, you create a sense of challenge that drives others to prove their worth. This dynamic fuels their desire to win you over, as they become more invested in gaining your affection. In love and attraction, the fear of being rejected or losing someone often outweighs the joy of being pursued, making people more eager to chase after what seems out of reach.

Thank you for putting this into words. It's a phenomena I have experienced in all of my relationships and never fully understood the effect it has. This is exactly what makes me attractive to women and what bothers them the most in my relationships. I've been accused of everything you listed and they tell me how hard they try to please me.