Why do we put so much pressure on the guys here?

[MeteorMash]

Why is it that we put so much pressure on the guys here? Thread title speaks for itself.

It seems everytime, at anytime, that something goes wrong, most times it's because of the guy.

She flakes......"You did something to lose her interest"
She cheats...."You did something to lose her interest"
She dies in a horrible car accident.....?....."You did something to lose her interest. stop being so AFC"

I exaggerate on the last one lol. But that's what it feels like sometimes. whatever happen to two to tango? Whatever happened to the girl just being not that interested in the first place? Just because a chick takes your number doesn't mean she wants your c0ck in her bung hole. Maybe she just doesn't like you all the much anyway. only thing to do is move one and DONT OVER ANALYZE!


I would love to improve my game. I would also like other guys to see the light, but don't you think all this pressure is only causing more problems? If you make it seem like some sort of chore on the man's part to keep the flare in a relationship going then where is the fun he's supposed to be having?

This whole dating thing should be fun, not work. FUN FUN FUN

All these threads written to over analyze why a chick hasn't answered her phone is what im talking about. Making it seem like it's all on the guy to make or break things spawns these Mr. technicians who think they have to analyze and handle every situation perfectly.

"If a chick says she's gonna call at 5 and calls at 5:01, does that I should call her?"

Instead of worrying about being "too AFC", why not just not give a fvck, have fun, and be a man.

If she ain't havin it, then find another girl

No pressure. Absolutely no pressure guys.

 

[jester1x]

Brilliant post! I agree with all of your points. Relationships become nothing but a chore, burden, work etc...when you have to micromanage them.

I asked a woman out for coffee a few weeks back. She didn't say yes, so I took it as a no (as in no real interest). The old me would have asked at least two more times...the new me asked clearly one time.

I've run into her a couple times since then. I always say "Hi!" while looking her in the eye then continue with my business. No mention of having coffee together which is what I expected. But, no need to rude to her in any fashion.

If you have to gauge a woman's interest then it isn't there.

I'd compare dating to waiting in line for a rollercoaster ride at Six Flags. You're idle for typically an hour or more waiting for basically a five minute ride. Sometimes, the "rides" are worth waiting for and sometimes they are not. You have to be smart on deciding what ride to wait for and realize when it stops being enjoyable.

Hope that made analogy some sense.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Well, because we assume that most guys are AFCs to be getting those results.

Only problem is that this is done to the more experienced members. Damn feminized society. The women are never wrong for being crazies sometimes.

Good questions Meteor, something to think about.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Some people here think that deep down inside every single women is reasonable and can be reasoned with if you exhibit 100% alpha male behaviour every single second of your life.

 

[Warrior74]

Most guys who come here don't know their elbows from their arseholes. They can't have fun because they don't know how to have fun. When they do have fun it's not getting them the results they want. What they have to do is enter training. They have rewire their brains and belief systems. They gotta let fun go for a little while and learn. Then they can have fun with the stuff they have learned. And yes some women are wack jobs, but one of the hallmark of being an AFC is not being able to spot unworthy women. So you learn how to be a real man (or DJ or whatever you want to call it) and you learn how to ID crazy chics, sluts and good girls and then you go and have fun in the game.

You might not have fun your first week or two of football training but you do when you win your first game! Coaches don't tell you to go have fun...they tell you to dig boy! Run! Run! Stop being a pansy! Push harder, get up! Hit em again! Hit em again son! After you learn the game, they say, go have fun and let's play some football and win!

 

[usscrum]

because a lot of people think if you follow their method or the DJ bible perfectly you will be able to get the girl every time, which is simply not the case. then again, a lot of guys here really are doing something wrong so while they will never be able to get every girl, they will raise their "percentage" if they make changes.

 

[Jitterbug]

Good thread. I just responded to the other one you spoke of along the same line.

Contrary to the party line, girls don't suddenly lose interest in you because you TXT her instead of calling her, or call her too soon, or something equally trivial. If she flakes or doesn't respond, the interest isn't there in the first place.

Many of the guys here are doing fine except that they've failed to recognise the low interest level. Trying to be more Alpha in your TXT or phone call or other trivial matters won't get them anywhere.

In fact, advising these guys to do so reeks of the Beta supplicating mentality. Being too conscious of girls judging you for every minute detail is essentially the mentality of qualifying yourself to girls.

Instead, you should do the opposite. How a girl responds to your moves says A LOT about her upbringing. You are now in the position to qualify her: "is she behaving how I want my girl to behave?" It is a powerful mentality to have.

After all, the reason you want anything to do with women is whether they could add values to your life (yes sex is included). If they're a pain in the arse to deal with, why bother?

 

[Brighty]

Sometimes I feel like when people get on AFC's cases about this its just tough love and they're trying to push them forward. But when this is done to more experienced people who are a level inbetween AFC-dom and DJing, and hell, even when its done to DJs, it does make me scratch my head. I just think you need to roll with the punches and realize that whenever you post a topic, people are going to automatically assume that you're an AFC and to just take it in stride.

 

[Accension]

Basically, most that give those stupid, generic PU replies to noobs' problems are unsuccessful themselves.
90% infact.

When someone gives genuine advice, whiny losers will flame them out or the advice will be completely ignored because it's the hardest to use.

Besides, if someone needs advice here for a retarded problem then regardless of how good the advice recieved is -- they are too retarded in the first place.

Few of you will ever stop thinking with the limitations of the PUA mindset.

When a cool guy looks at this site, it's hard not to think, "Fuc>, what a bunch of losers -- wow! they think there's a specific time they should call WTF!?"

 

[zekko]

Tough love is a good thing, but the OP makes a pretty good point.
It's not just this forum, it's pickup stuff in general. Like I was recently reading that you should never directly answer a girl's question because that doesn't put you in a leader position. And I'm thinking yikes, if you really have to do all this stuff just to get laid, I don't think it would be worth it.

To some extent the micromanaging stuff is good because it portrays a certain vibe you should have. It's good as a learning tool. But that doesn't mean you have to be agonizing over everything you say and do, to make sure it's in line with current pickup theory. That's garbage.

Some people put out the notion that if a girl sees any chink in your armor at any time ever, she'll dump you on the spot. "Oh no, I accidently answered her question, she was right to blow me off". If that's the case, she obviously wasn't very interested in the first place.
I've been checking out some of Mehow's stuff, and he actually advocates showing some vulnerability as an attractive quality (but only after the more alpha qualities have been established).

 

[Warrior74]

A little pressure doesn't hurt. But sosuave isn't able to apply it in the proper format to be honest. More of a team format is needed where people can give honest feedback and push each other forward is the way to go. I'm not advocating expensive bootcamps, I'm just saying a form of online bootcamp where everyone has to show and prove and encourage each other as well as getting some tough love at the same time. That was one of the things I liked about the old Player Supreme zenmack in the beginning. This place is so open and unstructured it makes it hard for a newbie, and it allows people who aren't very qualified to give advice to jump in with their two cents.

 

[r0cky]

The thing you must look at is the reason for which most people come to this forum. Its very rare to see someone highly successful with women visit the forum. What would be their purpose? Only a handful of those people will come here because they feel the need to help others. And another handful of them, such as Accension, come for what seems to be an ego trip. They come to insult people under the premise that they have vast knowledge of the game, as if this entitles them to be rude to the unexperienced.
So therein lies the problem. I think if you want quality advice you should go to the ss forums where there are lots of puas who talk about improving their game, not starting it.

 

[lakeshore]

I agree that most PUA material is pretty ridiculous. Like its some kind of engineering problem that needs to be worked out.

I truly think it comes down to being comfortable with yourself and having the nuts to go after what you want. There is some stuff on this site about not being outcome dependent and that pretty much sums it up I think.

If you can combine these 3 things you're gold.

1) comfortable with yourself
2) go after what you want
3) not be outcome dependent. (if it doesn't work you're not going to die)


I think back to when i was like 14-16 years old and didn't have a care in the world about what I said to girls. i didnt care about getting laid back then so I messed around with girls and told them about how much I loved them, joked, teased, etc... they loved every minute of it. It was all so effortless. I was a player and didn't even know it!

At some point as an adult I really started caring and got nervous. This is when it all fell to sh*t.

The point is, what may be perceived as AFC behavior was actually working because I had no care in the world and was just having fun. It was a state of mind.

It really is a state of mind damn it.

 

[Ease]

Dont give a ****, have fun and be man.

Thats exactly what we tell people to do.

But then they go AFC and lose the girl's interest.

Then we say you went AFC, you lost the girls interest.

Its harsh truth. The AFC needs to be slapped out of a man sometimes, be appreciative of guys who tear you apart for your shortcomings to help you.

 

[Ease]

It's not just this forum, it's pickup stuff in general. Like I was recently reading that you should never directly answer a girl's question because that doesn't put you in a leader position. And I'm thinking yikes, if you really have to do all this stuff just to get laid, I don't think it would be worth it.

Thats brilliant advice.

Never answer or comply with requests directly.

'Where were you at 3?', 'with my other girlfriend'. 'What did you do last night?', 'There was a fire at the old persons home'.

Try this and see how much of an ******* you can be. Its powerful.

 

[lakeshore]

Thats brilliant advice.

Never answer or comply with requests directly.

'Where were you at 3?', 'with my other girlfriend'. 'What did you do last night?', 'There was a fire at the old persons home'.

Try this and see how much of an ******* you can be. Its powerful.

Nope. too rigid of a rule. Forget rules. If you feel like answering then answer, if you don't then don't.

Be free man. Its the only way.

 

[zekko]

Nope. too rigid of a rule. Forget rules. If you feel like answering then answer, if you don't then don't.

Be free man. Its the only way.

Yeah, that's the way I see it. I agree with Ease also, in that being an ******* can be powerful. The advice is useful, because it helps illustrate what kind of vibe to give out with a girl. But you lose me if you want to apply it rigidly.

A lot of it depends on what kind of question she is asking you. A lot of them you want to evade. But to literally say you can't answer ANY question directly or you lose your chance with the girl is just ridiculous.

I get a kick out of Mehow, by the way, because of how gay he sounds.
There's one scene where he trades numbers with a girl
GIRL: What's your name?
HIM: Mehow
GIRL: Meow?
HIM: Mehow. M-E-H-O-W.

 

[Pokemon]

You might not have fun your first week or two of football training but you do when you win your first game! Coaches don't tell you to go have fun...they tell you to dig boy! Run! Run! Stop being a pansy! Push harder, get up! Hit em again! Hit em again son! After you learn the game, they say, go have fun and let's play some football and win!

****ing love this.

 

[DonJuan11]

Why is it that we put so much pressure on the guys here? Whatever happened to the girl just being not that interested in the first place?

LOL. If girls are never interested in you, you'll never be under any pressure.

 

[bish0p]

She dies in a horrible car accident.....?....."You did something to lose her interest. stop being so AFC"

lol