Why do we lie to ourselves?

[Urbanyst]

Occam's razor says that if you could feel and act that confident without the use of external props, which could theoretically vanish at any time (money), then you could've achieved those same results when you were flat broke. Human sexuality evolved before the prefrontal cortex, which is how we make complex value judgments (i.e. "Well, this guy is hot but he doesn't make enough money to sustain our relationship longterm so I shouldn't sleep with him," etc.). In the moment, the only thing that matters is 1.) How you make the girl feel and 2.) How successfully you can get her alone. That simple. How a girl will evaluate your value after sex is drastically different than how she would've evaluated your value before sex.

Wealth, of course, is nice, to the extent that it alleviates stress and grants greater potential freedom. It'd be hard to sustain an LTR longterm without it; it's hard to maintain frame when you're stuck in your head worrying about how you'll eat next week. But it's not necessary for bedding hot girls--except as far as access is concerned. For instance, it's not possible to consistently bed fashion models unless you're able to hangout in places where fashion models consistently frequent; and usually that involves living somewhere like New York or L.A., which isn't cheap.



In this case, incompatible just means that sleeping with you isn't very high on their list of priorities. Those same women could be compatible if you were pressing the right buttons, which you can learn to do pretty consistently & predictably. At a certain point, though, there's diminishing returns--so I'd agree that it's more efficient to live life in a way that feels good for you and to allot your time to the women who find value in the person you most enjoy being.



Straw man. No one's advocated that since ~2004.



Personality =/= How you choose to present/express that personality. It's far easier to fall into ego-defense mechanisms than it is to live as an authentic embodiment of your personal desires. Your ego can spin all types of tricks to convince you that the low hanging fruit is the most edible; or to convince you that you don't like approaching girls since "You're an introvert"; and that girl you wanted but didn't approach--well, she wasn't that hot, anyway; and so on and so forth.

Most guys knock cold approach because they don't have the balls to do it. You can probably find posts where I knock it circa November or December 2015. But I'd advocate every guy set aside a night or two every weekend until they're pretty good at it, before they decide what other areas they need to work on improving in their lives (because there's a high probability they're doing things unnecessarily that will take up a lot of time when that they wouldn't do if they could consistently pull girls they wanted with nothing but the clothes on their back).

Pretending external factors like money and looks don't matter is some blue pill stuff.

I know it feels great to say its all about inner beauty, but the fact of the matter is external factors matter a lot.

Some of those low value hot guys lay up on someone couch. Don't work and get all the sex they can stand.

They still have to be good looking. They won't be good looking forever.

Nothing you're saying takes away from my original point.

 

[Tenacity]

Occam's razor says that if you could feel and act that confident without the use of external props, which could theoretically vanish at any time (money), then you could've achieved those same results when you were flat broke.

This makes NO sense Fastlife, because if I'm broke and don't know where my next meal is going to come from (nor do I know where I'm going to lay my head tonight), it's extremely hard to be "confident, calm, and relaxed" around people in GENERAL, not even specifically women.

Wealth, of course, is nice, to the extent that it alleviates stress and grants greater potential freedom. It'd be hard to sustain an LTR longterm without it; it's hard to maintain frame when you're stuck in your head worrying about how you'll eat next week.

Right, which is why your statement above makes no sense

Human sexuality evolved before the prefrontal cortex, which is how we make complex value judgments (i.e. "Well, this guy is hot but he doesn't make enough money to sustain our relationship longterm so I shouldn't sleep with him," etc.). In the moment, the only thing that matters is 1.) How you make the girl feel and 2.) How successfully you can get her alone. That simple. How a girl will evaluate your value after sex is drastically different than how she would've evaluated your value before sex.

Social interactions between humans have evolved Fastlife lol. I love how you guys like to reference "The Animal Kingdom" or something similar when trying to describe today's interactions between men and women. Social interactions have evolved, social culture has changed dynamics, MANY women act like men today and MANY men act like women today.

Referring to the "Animal Kingdom" or anything similar isn't going to assist any guy with managing the women of 2017.

At a certain point, though, there's diminishing returns--

Most guys knock cold approach because they don't have the balls to do it.

I'm putting these two quotes here to point out, that many guys don't employ cold approaching often because again, there is a such thing called "diminishing returns". Listen, these are JUST women. All a woman is going to provide you is some sex, companionship, and maybe some quality benefits like a little bit of love, support, cheerleading, and maybe cook you a meal (if you even like her cooking).

There IS a problem with a guy investing TOO MUCH time, energy, and resources into women in general.

Using a Deesade like "cold spam approach" to mass amounts of women takes up a significant amount of time and energy, time and energy that would be better invested in making more money, working out, and becoming a more intelligent/smart man overall.

 

[devilkingx2]

This makes NO sense Fastlife, because if I'm broke and don't know where my next meal is going to come from (nor do I know where I'm going to lay my head tonight), it's extremely hard to be "confident, calm, and relaxed" around people in GENERAL, not even specifically women.

One of the most confident guys I know was also that guy who never had money and always needed a loan whenever you saw him

Social interactions between humans have evolved Fastlife lol. I love how you guys like to reference "The Animal Kingdom" or something similar when trying to describe today's interactions between men and women. Social interactions have evolved, social culture has changed dynamics, MANY women act like men today and MANY men act like women today.

Society has evolved but Human beings haven't evolved much, scientifically speaking

We're the same as we always were, except now we wear suits. This is why sometimes the animal kingdom can be relevant

There IS a problem with a guy investing TOO MUCH time, energy, and resources into women in general.

Pretty sure picking up girls is mostly for guys who dont have anything better to do at the moment, nobody lives a life without downtime

 

[Tenacity]

One of the most confident guys I know was also that guy who never had money and always needed a loan whenever you saw him

So he was a moocher? Now just imagine if people would stop letting him mooch, he wouldn't be so "confident" because he would be stressed over where his next meal is coming from.

Society has evolved but Human beings haven't evolved much, scientifically speaking

We're the same as we always were, except now we wear suits. This is why sometimes the animal kingdom can be relevant

So are you saying women are the same in 2017 like they were in 1967? Like they were in 1927? Like they were in 1817? Is that your stance?

Pretty sure picking up girls is mostly for guys who dont have anything better to do at the moment, nobody lives a life without downtime

Women of 2017 just don't have a lot to offer, unless you are one of the losers who sleep on their couch. Other than that, all you are getting is sex/companionship on a LEASE arrangement that can be "called" at any moment for any reason.....or for no reason.

 

[nismo-4]

What the OP is talking about is entitlement. When you are feeling entitled, you literally become a "flawless natural" with women. You act from your personality and never calibrate to anyone. People calibrate to you.

The game reverses itself and you become the king of the environment and you realize women are the real seducers. This was the way nature designed it. Men were never meant to waste time chasing after chicks. Men were supposed to conquer worlds and women try to seduce these "conquerors."

You have to really experience it to believe it. There is a level beyond all game and calibration. That is the level of being a king in a hierarchical tribe. As the king in a large social circle with a lot of hot women in it, you will get laid automatically. It is actually part of the king's identity to have a harem. Is it not?

If this makes too much sense to you, it is because I am speaking to your reptilian brain. You already know kings get all the glory and the spoils of victory. And women are part of the spoils. They are automatic.

The king doesn't calibrate to anyone. The game reverses itself and women calibrate to him to seduce him. Some women will try to neg him, but there would be no power behind it.

Regarding chemistry and compatibility, the king only gets into a relationship with a beautiful woman he has perfect chemistry with, but still tastes all the hot women he has no connection with...because he can.

The king knows his value. At the most, he will throw out a bait. He will just make a random comment and give women an "opportunity" to take his bait. That's literally his game. He values himself so much that he truly believes he is special and that he is a gift to women and they should be glad he even showed up.

Another thing a king does is he simply takes women. There is no game. He just takes them. He can just go up to a woman in the club and make out with her without saying a word.

When you are extremely high value and women validate you, your veins will be infused with entitlement. It's like touching the star in super mario world.

For a man, entitlement is the feeling of absolute perfection.

Things that can unlock entitlement are extremely good looks, high status, money, or even somehow becoming an alpha male in a social circle that has a lot of hot women.

If you don't already have these things, what you need is a strong will to conquer all areas of your life and become a king.

Long way of saying be a muscular millionaire. But true. There is no such thing as an ugly millionaire.

Women want things in the present. Ever heard a woman go crazy over a future millionaire or get wet over how a future millionaire looks? I sure haven't.

No woman knows how a future millionaire looks. They don't find ambition sexy, unless you're already high value.

Also, if you're attractive, your xbox 360 achievements and ability to build a gaming laptop is sexy to her. Take an unattractive guy doing these same things, she'll get repulsed.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So he was a moocher? Now just imagine if people would stop letting him mooch, he wouldn't be so "confident" because he would be stressed over where his next meal is coming from.



So are you saying women are the same in 2017 like they were in 1967? Like they were in 1927? Like they were in 1817? Is that your stance?



Women of 2017 just don't have a lot to offer, unless you are one of the losers who sleep on their couch. Other than that, all you are getting is sex/companionship on a LEASE arrangement that can be "called" at any moment for any reason.....or for no reason.

Yeah those losers sleep on her couch while a put together responsible man helps her out.

 

[ubercat]

Obviously not true. I ve fvcked plenty of hot much younger women by gaming them and I m Joe Average. I lived with a girl on off again for 3 years who was 15 years younger. My current g/f is 10 years younger and looks like she s 30. Nobody ever says a word about it. If u keep frame and remain a well rounded in shape guy u ll b fine.

 

[guru1000]

What the OP is talking about is entitlement. When you are feeling entitled, you literally become a "flawless natural" with women. You act from your personality and never calibrate to anyone. People calibrate to you.

The game reverses itself and you become the king of the environment and you realize women are the real seducers. This was the way nature designed it. Men were never meant to waste time chasing after chicks. Men were supposed to conquer worlds and women try to seduce these "conquerors."

You have to really experience it to believe it. There is a level beyond all game and calibration. That is the level of being a king in a hierarchical tribe. As the king in a large social circle with a lot of hot women in it, you will get laid automatically. It is actually part of the king's identity to have a harem. Is it not?

If this makes too much sense to you, it is because I am speaking to your reptilian brain. You already know kings get all the glory and the spoils of victory. And women are part of the spoils. They are automatic.

The king doesn't calibrate to anyone. The game reverses itself and women calibrate to him to seduce him. Some women will try to neg him, but there would be no power behind it.

Regarding chemistry and compatibility, the king only gets into a relationship with a beautiful woman he has perfect chemistry with, but still tastes all the hot women he has no connection with...because he can.

The king knows his value. At the most, he will throw out a bait. He will just make a random comment and give women an "opportunity" to take his bait. That's literally his game. He values himself so much that he truly believes he is special and that he is a gift to women and they should be glad he even showed up.

Another thing a king does is he simply takes women. There is no game. He just takes them. He can just go up to a woman in the club and make out with her without saying a word.

When you are extremely high value and women validate you, your veins will be infused with entitlement. It's like touching the star in super mario world.

For a man, entitlement is the feeling of absolute perfection.

Things that can unlock entitlement are extremely good looks, high status, money, or even somehow becoming an alpha male in a social circle that has a lot of hot women.

If you don't already have these things, what you need is a strong will to conquer all areas of your life and become a king.

I've always said this forum needs a sub-forum for Big-Level discussions.

You know you reach another level when throughout the night you have other beautiful women ogling your girl, approaching, and saying to your girl, "OMG, you are so beautiful." Then when this particular girl asks when she is going to see you again, you tell her in a month or so because you are genuinely busy (with other women).

 

[resilient]

No woman knows how a future millionaire looks. They don't find ambition sexy, unless you're already high value.

That's interesting, nismo, you should expand on that thought.

Perhaps my situation is in alignment with this thought. I'm getting my sh!t together by transitioning into my second career that will be more balanced and has the potential to double my salary in my existing career that is stagnant. I have 3-5 years before my true potential will be realized if I continue to follow along my second act to success.

So by a present state of reality, I'm not there yet and so my SMV isn't congruent with the Resilient I'll be 3-5 years from now. Ergo, lower SMV in present day value in the eyes of other women, ya?

 

[Tenacity]

I've always said this forum needs a sub-forum for Big-Level discussions.

You know you reach another level when throughout the night you have other beautiful women ogling your girl, approaching, and saying to your girl, "OMG, you are so beautiful." Then when this particular girl asks when she is going to see you again, you tell her in a month or so because you are genuinely busy (with other women).

As long as said Sub-Forum requires verification like pictures to be posted.

Are we supposed to just "take your word" that you have 3 Halle Berrys you are plate spinning, while you "ignore" 4 other Halle Berrys because you are genuinely busy? NOT to say this isn't your life (I don't know you), but these extravagant claims need to be verified if you are going to continue preaching them to guys as some "standard" they should strive for.

 

[guru1000]

As long as said Sub-Forum requires verification like pictures to be posted.

Are we supposed to just "take your word" that you have 3 Halle Berrys you are plate spinning, while you "ignore" 4 other Halle Berrys because you are genuinely busy? NOT to say this isn't your life (I don't know you), but these extravagant claims need to be verified if you are going to continue preaching them to guys as some "standard" they should strive for.

And here comes the verification police.

How about this? I verify nothing to you. And I will keep "preaching." What are you going to do about it?

 

[Tenacity]

And here comes the verification police.

How about this? I verify nothing to you. And I will keep "preaching." What are you going to do about it?

Well you are "free" to preach all day long, but TALK is cheap.

Anybody can get up here and "say" whatever, if you want myself and many others to take you seriously, then you will post verification on this "Sub-Forum" you are recommending. Otherwise, no, I don't believe you have 3 Halle Berrys and just rejected 4 other Halle Berrys.

 

[guru1000]

Now ask me how much I value your opinion.

To be precise, I don’t reject beautiful women. I keep them in rotation for as long as they desire as my free time permits, and should I grow out of fvcking them, I bring them out with me to meet more beautiful women.

No value is demonstrated greater than walking into a room with a beautiful woman holding on to you for dear life. In fact, I would say to get in cold with some high-end, affluent social circles, it’s a prerequisite.

Yes, beautiful women can help you make more money.

 

[AlexKaiser]

Why do we like to pretend things like looks, money and value are not the most important things for attracting women? (all of those together, not just one).

Isn't it similar to fat women pretending they can get a hot guy if they have a great personality, big job and PHD?

Of course personality is very important. But that is more about compatibility. When it comes to sex appeal, its basically looks, money and high value.

All the games, PUA rhetoric, stupid hats, and pick-up lines don't do anything to make a guy hot if he isn't already.

Don't we set ourselves up for success better if we just accept how things really work?

All the material out there for men is basically telling them to act like a high value man without actually being one. Of course, any woman you trick that way will eventually learn she got manipulated and dump you. If you just want to be a man wh*re then PUA stuff is great though.

For LTR's, you need compatibility and high value. There is no way around it. And no book you read will give it to you.

Well when it comes to people who can't acquire tons of money, have **** genetics and low value, without the means to acquire it, they look at themselves and wonder "Is that it? Should I just quit?"

There are people different than me who will NEVER get it, never get pilled. They live the nice-guy routine, they want it to work and believe erroneously that someday it will triumph, that beautiful goddess of theirs will someday bless them with their happy forever after (with *******s and daily sex, they leave that part out).

I knew this really gross AFC in Job Corps, who was so bad with girls he rage-quitted being straight. Not as in, he discovered he was bi, or gave up the charade and came out, he literally decided he'd rather **** other lonely nerdy guys than put up with not having his future...10/10 otaku harry-potter loving hentai-ecchi goddess girlfriend. This was one of those "moments" you guys speak of, where you realize that the nice-guy routine is inferior. Try and try did he to win this girl, and when he failed, he didn't try working out more (he had a wood Katana he trained with but barely) or dressing nicer (dropping the ****ing pony/MtG t-shirts would've been a major plus) or consider to treat himself like a prize the proper way. He just went sour-grapes so hard, reviled women and hate-****ed other guys he grew up with who also gave up on getting nice-looking girls.

Some people are just very low value human beings who got ****ed in the physical AND mental department, who want things they'll never have because they lack the drive needed to improve themselves, and rolled their genetic dice so badly that they'd be working a VERY VERY LONG TIME to be appealing to any person they desire.

That, and they've been beta and undesirable for so long it has become a deranged norm for them, and their mental wiring won't let them improve. They fear being better, because they might fail, or change drastically, or become something they hate. A million excuses rise to stop them from changing. A million voices screaming louder than the one that shouts "I can get what I want if I try."

These are one of the motivations I use to keep on my track. I think of them as gravestones I look at everyday, corpses. That if I take a "rest day" on working out, or cave in to some random girl's request for valuables, money, presents or praise, that I will become just like these hopeless cadavers. A laughing stock, a hall of shame for everyone to shake their heads at in pity, or laugh at in schadenfreude.

 

[fastlife]

Pretending external factors like money and looks don't matter is some blue pill stuff.

Strong argument lol. I'm not saying they don't matter, but when it comes to attraction Behavior > Externals, barring huge discrepancies (i.e. you're way better looking than a girl or you're rich, she's poor). It doesn't matter what that behavior is rooted in--whether you act confidently/boldly from a place of genuine accomplishment or whether you're just a brash, hot-headed thug. The limbic system, which controls vaginal lubrication, doesn't make those distinctions. And get this--the behavior doesn't even have to be a genuine expression of who you are; simple mimicry can create the same results as long as that behavior is consistently conveyed.

This makes NO sense Fastlife, because if I'm broke and don't know where my next meal is going to come from (nor do I know where I'm going to lay my head tonight), it's extremely hard to be "confident, calm, and relaxed" around people in GENERAL, not even specifically women.

Personal limitations. Do you think Ray Ray & Pookie make those distinctions? Now your state of mind probably leads to more productive behavior and, in a lot of contexts, would be evolutionarily beneficial to the longterm sustainability of society. Simply r-selection vs. K-selection.

My 'natural' disposition is probably closer to yours than it is to Ray Ray & Pookie--but meditation helps keep any longer term considerations from manifesting itself in current anxiety/stress.

Social interactions between humans have evolved Fastlife lol. I love how you guys like to reference "The Animal Kingdom" or something similar when trying to describe today's interactions between men and women. Social interactions have evolved, social culture has changed dynamics, MANY women act like men today and MANY men act like women today.

Referring to the "Animal Kingdom" or anything similar isn't going to assist any guy with managing the women of 2017.

Not really. How we're able to express ourselves in a social context has changed, but human nature hasn't. What arouses women in 2017 aroused women in the 1300's, in the 1800's, in 1950; social pressure & constraints & a lack of access to discreet mass communication just curbed that behavior to an extent. But read The Canterbury Tales and tell me, exactly, what's changed since the 1390's; read ****ens and tell me what kind of guys the most desirable girls fall for in Victorian England; read Wuthering Heights (women absolutely swooned over Heathecliff) or Lord Byron, which established the romantic archetypes that inform 50 Shades of Grey and tell me how much has changed. If you still believe the mythology of the greatest generation & 1950's housewives, read a little Irwin Shaw.

Sure, all that's technically fiction; but the fact that it so accurately reflects 21st century sexual dynamics has to raise at lease a couple questions about what, if anything, has fundamentally changed.

I'm putting these two quotes here to point out, that many guys don't employ cold approaching often because again, there is a such thing called "diminishing returns". Listen, these are JUST women. All a woman is going to provide you is some sex, companionship, and maybe some quality benefits like a little bit of love, support, cheerleading, and maybe cook you a meal (if you even like her cooking).

There IS a problem with a guy investing TOO MUCH time, energy, and resources into women in general.

Using a Deesade like "cold spam approach" to mass amounts of women takes up a significant amount of time and energy, time and energy that would be better invested in making more money, working out, and becoming a more intelligent/smart man overall.

No argument that there are more fulfilling things in life than sleeping with women--but I'll be damned if I'm not at least a little bit happier and more relaxed when I'm sexually surfeited with highly desirable girls in the 18, 19, 20 y/o range--and have enough potential/actual options that I can take the good and not deal with any bullsh1t. If I find a way to achieve that without putting in a couple hours legwork every week I'll get back to you.

 

[Urbanyst]

Your post is all over the place and lacks logic, that's partly why it sounds like it was written by a woman. What you said isn't true, so it doesn't qualify as an "ugly truth."

Who told you to wear stupid hats and use pick-up lines? If it doesn't work for you, then don't do that.

Now this: I started making really good money around a year ago and it boosted my confidence a lot. The looks, plus the money made me more outgoing, bold and confident because I started feeling entitled to hot women more than before. Now I can totally be myself and still get hot girls. I don't have to play dumb PUA games, use lines or worry about how long I wait to call or text a girl. So it makes me think game is kind of worthless and value is what women want in the end.

That's you having great game. Congratulations. Whether it came from your bank account, your looks, or from a book or web site is irrelevant.

The corollary to your theory is a woman who just started losing weight and dressing more feminine and attracting more guys. That is female game - but call it JBY if you like. I would argue that if you want to say you are just being yourself, at the very least admit you're being the most attractive version of yourself.

Now your posts are starting to sound like a woman wrote them lol.

Can you be more specific about what I said that was false and lacks logic? Quote me please and explain. People like to throw around claims, but they never back them up with an explanation. How are we supposed to learn?

 

[Urbanyst]

What the OP is talking about is entitlement. When you are feeling entitled, you literally become a "flawless natural" with women. You act from your personality and never calibrate to anyone. People calibrate to you.

Yes, yes, yes!

I'm happy someone gets it.

 

[Urbanyst]

I already did, and there's really no need for us to quibble over a minor difference of opinion. I've said my piece. "False" is your word, not mine. If what you do is working for you, then I tip my stupid hat to you.

Ok, that's much better.

Just say you disagree. Don't say I sound like a woman and I'm wrong. Not necessary to make your point.