Why do we have to come up with excuses for not liking women with a high body count?

[Dr.Suave]

This thread welcomes the insecure SoSuavers

You forgot about trolls and femin@zis

 

[The Duke]

But let's be honest...what bothers us the most is the fact that many other men used and threw her away instead of committing or paying the full price for her in terms of economical, social and psychological investment.

What bothers us is the fact that she is a spoiled good basically which many others used for free.

If that wasnt the case you wouldnt be concerned about your sweetheart after years of relationship where no problem with bonding or diseases existed yet you would drop her in a eye beat if you find out she had a train run on her from the high school football team.

I've never committed to these types of women. But I have banged enough girls with high partner counts to know that those types always have a lot of issues(cluster b, bonding, attachment disorders, daddy issues, impulse driven, lack of self control, low self esteem, validation/attention seeking).

And what does it matter what a guy uses for an "excuse" as you call it. What guy wants a girl that can't manage her pu$$y properly? There is no self respect in a girl that bends over for every guy that gives her attention that she finds cute.

I don't put much weight in what other guys may have done. I put the onus on her. Her number will be very telling with her behavior and her timeline of who she has dated and how long those relationships lasted. And if you think she can hide this, you need to get better at reading/analyzing people.

 

[Murk]

the ones that admit theirs if it's high usually don't care about upsetting you.

OR... they just don't understand the absolute disgust we feel for it. They are different creatures, they don't get it.

@CBear had some great, direct hard hitting responses to my thread 1-2 years ago on finding out my ex GF had a MMF threesome. Something that disgusts me to this day (the act, not the fact she did it as I'm over that now).

I don't make excuses for it, a girl ran through just feels less valuable. If you truly value yourself as a man, how can you accept a girl who other men (likely below you in all metrics) deemed as a toy? The answer is you're settling. I have refused to settle thus far and I'm not about to start now. My ex pushed to move in to my house, I allowed it, then she wanted kids/marriage (mostly kids) and TBH I did contemplate it. How could I live the rest of my life knowing my kids mother had banged two guys at once, not once, but twice, all be it 10 years ago. It's not normal, promiscuity isn't normal for women.

I couldn't do it. The very next girl I was seeing I asked if she'd had a threesome with two guys and she said yes, I didn't care, I used her for sex and that was that. It made me realise how even the most innocent of women could be secret h0es.

I'll take it a step down from threesome territory, any girl with many partners (as a man with over 65+ notch count I am more desensitised) depending on age 5-10 is acceptable for me at a push, you just have to think not one of those guys put a ring on it, threw the towel in and said this is the one. So how dare I reduce myself to that.

It's a sore subject for a lot of men, if you're experienced and have any sort of pride you would have been hurt in the past with such thoughts.

It's a disappointment mixed with disgust that will never leave you once you know. It all ties in to how much you care about the girl. So to avoid all that, find out straight up how many (rough ballpark), any gangbangs, the rest you will gauge from how she is as a woman.

The takeaway from this is to do your due diligence in the beginning before feelings are involved. Do not accept less. Would you like your firstborn son to marry a h0e?

I don't subscribe to the 'don't ask don't tell' mantra, I value my unborn children's life and my own sanity too much.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't care about a girl's bodycount, so long as I am not emotionally vested in her.

Didn’t you tattoo your girls wedding band on your finger while lamenting that she didn’t feel the same way?

 

[Pandora]

I saw the correlations with body count and behaviors/attitude. My 1st relationship had 30, my 2nd had 10+, my 3rd had 3, and my current one had 0. I refused to settle although every single one loved me. I cut it off with all of them. Each one was progressively less crazy and where the first had a mental illness + so many other issues and the second had major daddy issues and narcissistic qualities. The one I'm with now is so appreciative of everything, isn't possessive, doesn't try to control me or change my stubbornness, and there's just a different level of comfort. I would've been happy with just a lower body count but I'm glad that I didn't settle and I encourage all men to not settle as well.

Exactly. Ive seen it said that high body count is a symptom of bigger issues. Usually mood disorders or past trauma.

 

[Pandora]

I don't care about a girl's bodycount, so long as I am not emotionally vested in her.

I agree but we are all the guy with flowers to a certain degree. Unless you get with a virgin and even then you have to find a virgin that has a chill personality. Good luck.

 

[Pandora]

Some good points here... And yes it is pretty disgusting when a girl has been ran through by the local rugby team.. However the pair bonding part plays a big part in it for me.

Anytime I find out girl has taken 5 penises or more, the chance of her staying in a relationship with me long term is less likely.

Anytime I find out that a girl has had 10 penises or more... I know a breakup down the line with her is pretty much guaranteed.

Broski I want to slightly disagree. There is a myth that virgins are more loyal. This is a male fantasy and male cope. As in all things in life you want a balance.

Many virgins will leave you because of fomo. Many virgins are sheltered af and are hard to get along with.

Girls dont just automatically super bond with you because you were her first. I used to think that but unfortunately its not true. Girls super bond with ( dont break up) with you if you hit their high score. If they know they can do better than you.

If virgins were so loyal then they would all still be with the guy that took their virginity.

I do agree that its better to have a virgin but the devil is in the details.

 

[soulforge]

Broski I want to slightly disagree. There is a myth that virgins are more loyal. This is a male fantasy and male cope. As in all things in life you want a balance.

Many virgins will leave you because of fomo. Many virgins are sheltered af and are hard to get along with.

Girls dont just automatically super bond with you because you were her first. I used to think that but unfortunately its not true. Girls super bond with ( dont break up) with you if you hit their high score. If they know they can do better than you.

If virgins were so loyal then they would all still be with the guy that took their virginity.

I do agree that its better to have a virgin but the devil is in the details.

Some good points here.. However I believe both prospects are a risk, it's just a matter of selecting the girl who presents the lowest amount of risk.

Virgin Girl or Low Body Count girl could develop fomo this is true, however no dude in his right mind, would passby on a very low body count girl, or a virgin girl out of fear that she may develop fomo years or even decades down the line.

Now take the girl with a high body count.. This girl has had her vagina destroyed 20 times prior to getting together with "lucky you"

This girl is pracitced in the skill of Attachment & Detachment over & over again.. Twenty times in-fact. Rinse & Repeat.

Overtime she has learned to get over men quickly, including those men that she probably liked alot. The whole process of breaking up has become familiar to her.. Heartbreak? Well yeh it's just another heartbreak.. She's experienced 12 of those already.

Why did those other 19 dudes not quite score high enough for her, in order for her to stick around.

Why didn't those other 19 dudes get down on one knee and wife her up?

From a risk analysis point of view, it's pretty clear to me, which girl I am willing to take that chance on.

 

[Pandora]

Some good points here.. However I believe both prospects are a risk, it's just a matter of selecting the girl who presents the lowest amount of risk.

Virgin Girl or Low Body Count girl could develop fomo this is true, however no dude in his right mind, would passby on a very low body count girl, or a virgin girl out of fear that she may develop fomo years or even decades down the line.

Now take the girl with a high body count.. This girl has had her vagina destroyed 20 times prior to getting together with "lucky you"

This girl is pracitced in the skill of Attachment & Detachment over & over again.. Twenty times in-fact. Rinse & Repeat.

Overtime she has learned to get over men quickly, including those men that she probably liked alot. The whole process of breaking up has become familiar to her.. Heartbreak? Well yeh it's just another heartbreak.. She's experienced 12 of those already.

Why did those other 19 dudes not quite score high enough for her, in order for her to stick around.

Why didn't those other 19 dudes get down on one knee and wife her up?

From a risk analysis point of view, it's pretty clear to me, which girl I am willing to take that chance on.

Yes you make great points. I cant argue your points.

I have an anectodal story you might find interesting. The last virgin I " deflowered" had already been alpha widowed by a guy she just messed around with. He didnt smash. But he imprinted on her bad.

He was a handsome presumably popular Ivy League football player at her college. They fooled around then he dumped her for some hotter chick. Years later she still has not totally gotten over him. Yet she got over me pretty quickly it seems even though I took her V card.

I think for a Virgin to really bond with you she has to not have had ANY type of sexual contact with men before you. A guy who did not penetrate but foreplayed her can still alpha widow her.

 

[pipeman84]

I think for a Virgin to really bond with you she has to not have had ANY type of sexual contact with men before you. A guy who did not penetrate but foreplayed her can still alpha widow her.

100%. I think I've mentioned this before, there are some women on YouTube who are +30yrs old who have made videos for years with titles like 28yrs old and virgin, next year 29yrs old and virgin, next year 32yrs old and still virgin and so on. Then at 35 or whatever found a guy and got married. If you watch those videos, they all mention past relationships ... now what kind of relationship was that if they were still a virgin after it ended?

Even if they told the truth and they were still technically a virgin when making those videos, that's a mockery of the concept. A guy who takes them seriously must have just as many issues as they have. A true virgin won't be on YouTube advertising that status. That's as laughable as a guy boasting of how alpha he is.

 

[soulforge]

Yes you make great points. I cant argue your points.

I have an anectodal story you might find interesting. The last virgin I " deflowered" had already been alpha widowed by a guy she just messed around with. He didnt smash. But he imprinted on her bad.

He was a handsome presumably popular Ivy League football player at her college. They fooled around then he dumped her for some hotter chick. Years later she still has not totally gotten over him. Yet she got over me pretty quickly it seems even though I took her V card.

I think for a Virgin to really bond with you she has to not have had ANY type of sexual contact with men before you. A guy who did not penetrate but foreplayed her can still alpha widow her.

Often it's that age difference dynamic that can result in even a very young girl or a virgin girl to become Alpha widowed, without even sex taking place, like you stated.

Imagine a 17 year old girl, dating a 23 year old.. He can drive a car, has his own apartment, can buy alcohol, walk into a club without an ID check... That big difference in power dynamics can definitely alpha widow even the youngest girls.

This is why girls raised in single mother households without a father in the picture are extremely dangerous.

It's common knowledge that these girls (daddy issues) tend to lockdown older men, sometimes much older men. These girls experience a huge power defirencial in the relationship & will become alpha widowed when that relationship eventually falls apart.

 

[Velasco]

Many virgins will leave you because of fomo. Many virgins are sheltered af and are hard to get along with.

Girls dont just automatically super bond with you because you were her first. I used to think that but unfortunately its not true. Girls super bond with ( dont break up) with you if you hit their high score

I agree with this. In another post you talked about how the most important thing about girls is their ability to submit.

What is most important is her ability to submit. I agree that a promiscuous girl is not likely to submit unless she knows you are the best she can get. She has others to compare you too. She does not have fomo and is not naive.

The chick im with now is 18 and has been with prolly over 20 dudes around her age (which means she's used to sh1tty sex (young dudes dont know how to fvck yet) Which you will be compared to. A girl with no or few body count won't know that u are giving her the best sex she will ever receive due to having no one or one other dude to compare you to =fomo still there).

Yet this one treats me the same as CBear's girl treats me. Cuz she KNOWS I'm the best she can get.

The one I'm with now is so appreciative of everything, isn't possessive, doesn't try to control me or change my stubbornness, and there's just a different level of comfort

End of the day only reason guys care about body count is cuz they paranoid about their girl cheating on them or not being able to pair bond with them (myth).

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

Guys, let's break down some traditional views and get to the heart of what makes a relationship really work. It's been common to think that a woman with fewer past partners might bring more certainty to a relationship. We've thought this way for reasons like ensuring we're the real dads of our kids and believing that a woman who's been with fewer people might be more committed and loyal, providing emotional security and trust. There's also the social angle – being with a woman seen as 'pure' might feel like it boosts our status in the eyes of others.

But here's the flip side that we need to consider seriously. Labeling women based on their past can actually damage trust and intimacy in a relationship. It's about time we move beyond these old labels and focus on what genuinely builds a strong connection.



Think about it: what makes your relationship solid? Is it really about how many people your partner has been with, or is it about who they are now? Qualities like kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor, and emotional availability – these are the things that make a relationship thrive, not a number. It's about the mutual respect, the laughs you share, and how you support each other through thick and thin.

Imagine if your daughter or sister had a colorful past. Would you think they don't deserve love, respect, or understanding? Of course not. They are still the same person you've cherished all along, with dreams, feelings, and the right to happiness. It's a powerful reminder that everyone deserves empathy and compassion, regardless of their past.

While it's natural to care about our partner's past to some extent, it's also crucial to give credit to what really matters – the present and the future you're building together. Let's put the focus on fostering healthy, respectful, and meaningful connections based on genuine understanding, respect, and love. That's what truly counts at the end of the day. We're all human, and embracing empathy and understanding in our relationships paves the way for deeper connections and a more accepting world.

 

[pipeman84]

The chick im with now is 18 and has been with prolly over 20 dudes around her age (which means she's used to sh1tty sex (young dudes dont know how to fvck yet)

18yrs and 20 dudes? That's pornstar/sex worker level.

A girl with no or few body count won't know that u are giving her the best sex she will ever receive due to having no one or one other dude to compare you to =fomo still there).

That would be true for an illiterate girl living on a farm 150yrs ago. Nowadays with all the information at her fingertips, any 16yrs old girl with average intelligence will have some standards and expectations. In other words, no 2 pump chump who skips foreplay would be able to pass himself as a DJ.

 

[Pandora]

I agree with this. In another post you talked about how the most important thing about girls is their ability to submit.

The chick im with now is 18 and has been with prolly over 20 dudes around her age (which means she's used to sh1tty sex (young dudes dont know how to fvck yet) Which you will be compared to. A girl with no or few body count won't know that u are giving her the best sex she will ever receive due to having no one or one other dude to compare you to =fomo still there).

Yet this one treats me the same as CBear's girl treats me. Cuz she KNOWS I'm the best she can get.

End of the day only reason guys care about body count is cuz they paranoid about their girl cheating on them or not being able to pair bond with them (myth).

Sometimes a girl with a bodycount of 20 can be more loyal than a virgin. If that 20 count girl knows for a FACT that she is damn lucky to be with you. She has to know that she can and will never do any better..ever.

I would rather have a slut that I alpha widowed than a virgin who thinks that she can do better.

All things being equal choose the virgin of course but all things are rarely equal.

About her having crappy sex. You are lucky that she didnt meet a guy who rocked her world sexually and emotionally before you showed up. I also agree that most of a girls early sexual partners dont even make them cuum. Us guys are bad at sex in our teens and early 20s. She honestly probably does not remember most of those sexual encounters.

 

[Pandora]

The main question is are you her high score? If you are her high score she will stay loyal and submit ( most times).

Virginity only works because of correlation. Virginity correlates with girls that grew up in good homes. Virginity is not the cause of good behavior. Trust me you can get a virgin that thinks she is always right and that you are always wrong. You will be begging for a hoe after 1 yr dating her.

 

[Pandora]

18yrs and 20 dudes? That's pornstar/sex worker level.

That would be true for an illiterate girl living on a farm 150yrs ago. Nowadays with all the information at her fingertips, any 16yrs old girl with average intelligence will have some standards and expectations. In other words, no 2 pump chump who skips foreplay would be able to pass himself as a DJ.

I will say when I dated virgins all I got was complaints. They had unrealistic expectations of what a relationship was. My gifts were not good enough. I didnt hang out with them enough. I didnt try hard enough. I should accept them at any weight. Blah blah blah

Its because they had never been kicked out of a car after giving a dude a blow job in a McDonalds parking lot. They had never gone on a date and had the guy make them pay 50/50. They had never been strung on in the " fuk zone" for months with a guy that never intended to commit to them. They literally had no bad relationships to compare me to. It sucked.

My fiance now was kinda in the streets ( for middle eastern standards) and she is so appreciative of me. She knows how bad it is out there. She knows that there are not many guys that are able or willing to be strong dudes.

Would I prefer her to be a virgin...yes 100% but I also know that its not that simple.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Labeling women based on their past can actually damage trust and intimacy in a relationship. It's about time we move beyond these old labels and focus on what genuinely builds a strong connection.

Think about it: what makes your relationship solid? Is it really about how many people your partner has been with, or is it about who they are now? Qualities like kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor, and emotional availability – these are the things that make a relationship thrive, not a number. It's about the mutual respect, the laughs you share, and how you support each other through thick and thin.

Imagine if your daughter or sister had a colorful past. Would you think they don't deserve love, respect, or understanding? Of course not. They are still the same person you've cherished all along, with dreams, feelings, and the right to happiness. It's a powerful reminder that everyone deserves empathy and compassion, regardless of their past.

It's also crucial to give credit to what really matters – the present and the future you're building together. Let's put the focus on fostering healthy, respectful, and meaningful connections based on genuine understanding, respect, and love. That's what truly counts at the end of the day. We're all human, and embracing empathy and understanding in our relationships paves the way for deeper connections and a more accepting world.

Sounds like something a woman who spent her Party Years riding The Carousel but is now In the Epiphany Phase demanding exclusivity would say. Not agreeing or disagreeing with you, Im just thinking out loud.

 

[Pandora]

Sorry guys that im posting so much but I got 2 quick stories about virgins.

#1) Dated this hot jewish virgin when I was 21 she was 19. She was only a virgin because her hole was too small so no guy ever penetrated. She was a wild one. Like a mustang, issues on issues but so much fun. She dumped me and moved on like I was old stale chips. Now would you recommended wifing up that " virgin".

#2.) I used to be on this international site where you meet actual chicks. It was a language group. I started a romance with this Russian chick literally from bumfuk Russia. I mean a small village. Goats and stuff etc.She was a super virgin. I was going to meet her. I got my Russian visa and went to the airport to board the plane. I even talked to her parents many times online.

She was a super duper virgin never kissed a dude but she was a TERROR. Easily angered. Very jealous but very good student. Could not admit she was wrong. Omg...i would take a fun hoe anyday compared to her.

These are 2 examples of just because a chick is a virgin does not mean shes a catch. What you want is a submissive virgin. Those are the most rare commodity ever known to man.

 

[The Duke]

Guys, let's break down some traditional views and get to the heart of what makes a relationship really work. It's been common to think that a woman with fewer past partners might bring more certainty to a relationship. We've thought this way for reasons like ensuring we're the real dads of our kids and believing that a woman who's been with fewer people might be more committed and loyal, providing emotional security and trust. There's also the social angle – being with a woman seen as 'pure' might feel like it boosts our status in the eyes of others.

But here's the flip side that we need to consider seriously. Labeling women based on their past can actually damage trust and intimacy in a relationship. It's about time we move beyond these old labels and focus on what genuinely builds a strong connection.

View attachment 12089

Think about it: what makes your relationship solid? Is it really about how many people your partner has been with, or is it about who they are now? Qualities like kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor, and emotional availability – these are the things that make a relationship thrive, not a number. It's about the mutual respect, the laughs you share, and how you support each other through thick and thin.

Imagine if your daughter or sister had a colorful past. Would you think they don't deserve love, respect, or understanding? Of course not. They are still the same person you've cherished all along, with dreams, feelings, and the right to happiness. It's a powerful reminder that everyone deserves empathy and compassion, regardless of their past.

While it's natural to care about our partner's past to some extent, it's also crucial to give credit to what really matters – the present and the future you're building together. Let's put the focus on fostering healthy, respectful, and meaningful connections based on genuine understanding, respect, and love. That's what truly counts at the end of the day. We're all human, and embracing empathy and understanding in our relationships paves the way for deeper connections and a more accepting world.

Have you ever dated a girl like you described? They are not capable of healthy relationships. I used to think the best of people and focus on the positive. It doesn't make the bad things about them stay at bay.