Why do some women ghost after sex?

[FlexpertHamilton]

I recently had a first "date" with a girl who drove over an hour on a weekday night to come to my place, having only talked briefly for a couple days beforehand.

We hung out for a couple hrs talking and had some drinks. We ended up having sex and she spent the night. She complimented me constantly and she straight up told me she liked me.

Later I text her saying I had a good time etc. She says she had a good time as well and thanked me. Next day I ask if she wants to get together again next week. Since then she never got back to me.

I should mention a few things: a) she's in college in a coed dorm and 10 years younger than me (I'm late 20s). b) She lives over an hour away. c) I didn't give off any vibes of clingyness or relationship-seeking.

Anyway, I am assuming she's ghosting although I guess it's possible she's testing me, either way I consider it over. I don't actually care that much and I'm not getting onetis (already scheduling new dates with other girls) but I am simply appalled because it was one of the best and easiest lays I've had in quite a while.

Either way, what gives? Do some women just want to fzck as many guys as possible and not maintain anything with them even if they had a good time? The last two girls I banged recently didn't do this, despite also being first date lays. Most of the longer-term casual things I've had with women in the past were around her age, too.

 

[manfrombelow]

I recently had a first "date" with a girl who drove over an hour on a weekday night to come to my place, having only talked briefly for a couple days beforehand.

We hung out for a couple hrs talking and had some drinks. We ended up having sex and she spent the night. She complimented me constantly and she straight up told me she liked me.

Later I text her saying I had a good time etc. She says she had a good time as well and thanked me. Next day I ask if she wants to get together again next week. Since then she never got back to me.

First of all, thank you for the field report. I can learn a lot from it, and I know the same goes for many others here.

Secondly, you made a FATAL MISTAKE in the bolded parts.

You NEVER text a woman after you've had sex with her. Why? Because, think about it, if everything (the sex included) was good enough and made her develop feelings for you enough, she'll contact you. If it wasn't, then she'll not contact you. I never text any woman after I've had sex with for this very reason. Think of it as a "test" from you. If she contacts you on her free will, then you know she likes you and you can give her another chance to see you. If she stays silent forever, then you automatically assume she doesn't like you enough and can forget about her to not waste your precious time.

But, you didn't stop there, you made it WORSE by ASKING HER OUT the very next day.

By asking her out the very next day, you appeared needy, clingy, and desperate. And this caused her to lose interest and didn't reply to you. Because, like I just said, if everything was good, most of the times it's the woman who'd reach out to you FIRST, and your job is just to sit back and make the next date when she reaches out to you.

For now, stop contacting her all together, at least until she contacts you. In the meantime, go bang other plates.

Make this a lesson learned.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Do not reach out to a girl after having sex. Wait for her to reach out.

Even if it takes a week or two.

If you d!cked her down properly, she WILL reach out to you.

I learned the following from AMS -

Every girl has dated enough guys to know how guys with no options act. They call the next day, "Good morning, I had a nice time with you last night."

Conversely, she's also dated enough guys to know how guys WITH other options act.

Be the latter.

She could've wanted a one night stand. Or she could've wanted to "check you out" for her and her girls.

 

[manfrombelow]

She could've wanted a one night stand. Or she could've wanted to "check you out" for her and her girls.

Even if she just wanted a ONS, if OP did everything correctly during and afterwards, 90% she'd not ghost.

 

[Barrister]

I recently had a first "date" with a girl who drove over an hour on a weekday night to come to my place, having only talked briefly for a couple days beforehand.

We hung out for a couple hrs talking and had some drinks. We ended up having sex and she spent the night. She complimented me constantly and she straight up told me she liked me.

Later I text her saying I had a good time etc. She says she had a good time as well and thanked me. Next day I ask if she wants to get together again next week. Since then she never got back to me.

I should mention a few things: a) she's in college in a coed dorm and 10 years younger than me (I'm late 20s). b) She lives over an hour away. c) I didn't give off any vibes of clingyness or relationship-seeking.

Anyway, I am assuming she's ghosting although I guess it's possible she's testing me, either way I consider it over. I don't actually care that much and I'm not getting onetis (already scheduling new dates with other girls) but I am simply appalled because it was one of the best and easiest lays I've had in quite a while.

Either way, what gives? Do some women just want to fzck as many guys as possible and not maintain anything with them even if they had a good time? The last two girls I banged recently didn't do this, despite also being first date lays. Most of the longer-term casual things I've had with women in the past were around her age, too.

She probably is on a short break with her ex or something. Most highly interested chicks who you banged well will reach out by the next day. The fact she isn’t means you were probably just a distraction.

 

[Machine10033]

There are a million possible reasons.. she might have wanted a one night stand, she could have been cheating, she might have lost her phone, she might have a family emergency....you can’t concern yourself with it!

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

First of all, thank you for the field report. I can learn a lot from it, and I know the same goes for many others here.

Secondly, you made a FATAL MISTAKE in the bolded parts.

You NEVER text a woman after you've had sex with her. Why? Because, think about it, if everything (the sex included) was good enough and made her develop feelings for you enough, she'll contact you. If it wasn't, then she'll not contact you. I never text any woman after I've had sex with for this very reason. Think of it as a "test" from you. If she contacts you on her free will, then you know she likes you and you can give her another chance to see you. If she stays silent forever, then you automatically assume she doesn't like you enough and can forget about her to not waste your precious time.

But, you didn't stop there, you made it WORSE by ASKING HER OUT the very next day.

By asking her out the very next day, you appeared needy, clingy, and desperate. And this caused her to lose interest and didn't reply to you. Because, like I just said, if everything was good, most of the times it's the woman who'd reach out to you FIRST, and your job is just to sit back and make the next date when she reaches out to you.

For now, stop contacting her all together, at least until she contacts you. In the meantime, go bang other plates.

Make this a lesson learned.

They could also interpret your lack of texting as a lack of interest.

It seems like a silly thing to do, you could argue it's tryhard and validation-seeking to purposely ignore someone in order to seem like you have options.

Besides, if they like you it shouldn't matter at that point whether you text them first. If texting them first is enough to make them ghost, it would imply they weren't actually that interested to begin with.

 

[manfrombelow]

Seems like they could also interpret your lack of texting as a lack of interest.

It seems like a silly thing to do, I wanted to contact her, and I could also argue it's tryhard and validation-seeking to purposely ignore her in order to seem like you have options.

Besides, if they like you it shouldn't matter at that point whether you text them first. If texting them first is enough to make them ghost, it would imply they weren't actually that interested to begin with.

1st bolded part: If you have already had all the answers for your problem, then maybe you should not have come here, on this Internet forum, to ask for input from others in the first place.

2nd bolded part: That's the reality. Whether you like it or not doesn't matter.

Final advice: Getting butthurt will get you nowhere. This is not about who win an online argument. This is about understanding the female psychology, which you clearly don't.

 

[FuzzX]

Maybe you weren't very good.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

1st bolded part: If you have already had all the answers for your problem, then maybe you should not have come here, on this Internet forum, to ask for input from others in the first place.

2nd bolded part: That's the reality. Whether you like it or not doesn't matter.

Final advice: Getting butthurt will get you nowhere. This is not about who win an online argument. This is about understanding the female psychology, which you clearly don't.

I am not butthurt. I wasn't even necessarily disagreeing with anything that people wrote and I recognize the mistake I made.

I am merely starting a discussion. Did you know, you can agree with what people say but still make counter points of what others might say? It's called devils advocate.

This is why I hate the these types of communities sometimes. People can be so dogmatic. RP ideas are a philosophy not an ideology.

Also girl in OP did just text back saying she'll check when she's free.

 

[Baibars]

If that happens often to you, you should definitely change something but if it happens rarely the reasons are most probably the ones others here mentioned.

 

[Jariel]

I've had this happen and been left confused too. The girls were so into me, wanting me to stay the night, cuddling up tightly and showing keenness right until the point I left the next day. Some would continue showing interest for a few days after, then a total u-turn or ghosting me.

I've wasted a lot of time wondering what I did wrong, analysing my texts, being self critical, but I just came to the conclusion that women are fickle. They might genuinely be into you one day, then the novelty wears off when the chase is over. Or maybe there's another guy in the picture. A couple of these girls got back with their ex soon after and there have been other times I realised I was "the other man".

I've also had girls tell me straight they don't see me as relationship material.

When a chick ghosts me now I don't even give it much thought. I just delete her number and move on.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I recently had a first "date" with a girl who drove over an hour on a weekday night to come to my place, having only talked briefly for a couple days beforehand.

We hung out for a couple hrs talking and had some drinks. We ended up having sex and she spent the night. She complimented me constantly and she straight up told me she liked me.

Later I text her saying I had a good time etc. She says she had a good time as well and thanked me. Next day I ask if she wants to get together again next week. Since then she never got back to me.

I should mention a few things: a) she's in college in a coed dorm and 10 years younger than me (I'm late 20s). b) She lives over an hour away. c) I didn't give off any vibes of clingyness or relationship-seeking.

Anyway, I am assuming she's ghosting although I guess it's possible she's testing me, either way I consider it over. I don't actually care that much and I'm not getting onetis (already scheduling new dates with other girls) but I am simply appalled because it was one of the best and easiest lays I've had in quite a while.

Either way, what gives? Do some women just want to fzck as many guys as possible and not maintain anything with them even if they had a good time? The last two girls I banged recently didn't do this, despite also being first date lays. Most of the longer-term casual things I've had with women in the past were around her age, too.

*** dumpster.

 

[FuzzX]

No one thinks to check these b1tches for STDs beforehand eh?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

No one thinks to check these b1tches for STDs beforehand eh?

An eye opening experience is running a train on a college girl 18-23. Your definitely not going back to the blue pill after. A lot of these skanks are disgusting and if not for my blasted sex drive I wouldn't engage.obv have rules and no crossing swords.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Can anyone else chime in on the whole not-texting-them after the date suggestion?

I always assumed women expect a man to initiate things and if he doesn't he's simply not interested. If a girl seems infatuated with you, it stands to reason that you should reciprocate that that at least a little bit instead of being completely aloof and indifferent by not even following up with them.

This is an interesting idea I will definitely be implementing either way.

 

[FuzzX]

I once thought I had Hep C, false positive on one of my tests. Hospital fvcked up... but that whole month I was planning my bucket list.
If you've got half a brain, you'll be questioning the chick who wants to fvk on the first night. It might not be her time of the month but just wait till the full moon hits and you'll get to see her in all the horror. I once went out with this one chinese chick, super hot, she wanted to make out constantly and I was like "Nah somethings wrong". Well I was working with her and a few weeks later, out of nowhere, she had puss filled, GOLF BALL sized herpes that were leaking all over her face. Admitted her ex-husband cheated on her or something... she was DTF the first day and we'd both be zombies now if I had done anything. She had to wear a mask it was so grotesque. Y'all need to be thinking about this stuff the next time you meet up with a chick who is down in the first 10.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I once thought I had Hep C, false positive on one of my tests. Hospital fvcked up... but that whole month I was planning my bucket list.
If you've got half a brain, you'll be questioning the chick who wants to fvk on the first night. It might not be her time of the month but just wait till the full moon hits and you'll get to see her in all the horror. I once went out with this one chinese chick, super hot, she wanted to make out constantly and I was like "Nah somethings wrong". Well I was working with her and a few weeks later, out of nowhere, she had puss filled, GOLF BALL sized herpes that were leaking all over her face. Admitted her ex-husband cheated on her or something... she was DTF the first day and we'd both be zombies now if I had done anything. She had to wear a mask it was so grotesque. Y'all need to be thinking about this stuff the next time you meet up with a chick who is down in the first 10.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

****, all the girls I been with are dtf first time as that’s how I screen them. No stds yet but I should be more careful

 

[Machine10033]

An eye opening experience is running a train on a college girl 18-23. Your definitely not going back to the blue pill after. A lot of these skanks are disgusting and if not for my blasted sex drive I wouldn't engage.obv have rules and no crossing swords.

Lol!!! What always cracks me up is a few years later you will see her out with some cuck... usually pushing 1-2 kids in a stroller... I always laugh because that poor dude thinks he hit the jackpot... and in reality he volunteered half of everything he owns and will own for a girl that probably has a triple digit lay count... multiple stds... and god knows how many abortions !

 

[SargeMaximus]

Lol!!! What always cracks me up is a few years later you will see her out with some cuck... usually pushing 1-2 kids in a stroller... I always laugh because that poor dude thinks he hit the jackpot... and in reality he volunteered half of everything he owns and will own for a girl that probably has a triple digit lay count... multiple stds... and god knows how many abortions !

Speaking of the cucks, I remember years ago when I was in construction, a guy I worked with was dating a pregnant woman. Long story short she had the baby, he adopted it, and she split with him and went back to the Chad who knocked her up