Why do some women actually prefer to be treated like crap?

[sosousage]

You can also add a definite lack of man qualification and her nonexistent filtering abilities to the list if she picks an abuser …
What triggers that kind of behavior? Very low self esteem.
If you think you’re trash, you can easily accept trash…

okay. they can accept him because they think they dont deserve better.

but thats not the case described. she preferred the guy who treated her like crap. even tho she had better guy than him. so by following your logic she could be attracted to him at first because she thought "thats her best option" at the moment.

But then better guy came and she should stay with him as he was "better option".

but she came back to the abusive guy not due to low self esteem accepting crappy behavior but because she PREFFERED that roller coaster emotional drama

 

[Smartone84]

But then better guy came and she should stay with him as he was "better option".

but she came back to the abusive guy not due to low self esteem accepting crappy behavior but because she PREFFERED that roller coaster emotional drama

Right. Sadly it is in the nature of a a decent amount of American woman to go back to the drama, especially when it's also a good looking guy with some money. An ordinary person would think well, maybe these women have never been treated well before or something along those lines. That's simply not the case. They legitimately do prefer the emotional fluctuation of being toyed with and treated like sh-t sometimes, or even little things like this girl put it to me as being "ignored the entire night" of New Years Eve.

I personally would never treat a girl poorly on purpose but there is a significant level of truth to the more you play with her emotions the more connected she'll become. But there is a fine line and level that should be acknowledged here when a woman should be rational and mature enough to know that said alpha/d-ck guy just isn't right for her long term after several breakups and fights.

My issue with some posters thoughts on this topic is when I'm told it's simply your fault if she leaves you for the d-ck long term ex, even in my case where I only spent 8 weeks with the girl. Again, sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize that some women are just emotionally sporadic and whacked/narcissistic human beings. That is all.

 

[speed dawg]

Here is the secret..

We Date/Marry people who reflect how we truly feel about ourselves.

I don’t feel good

therefore I am bad

therefore no one loves me.



I feel good

therefore I am good

therefore everyone loves me.



I am good

You do not love me

therefore you are bad. So I do not love you.



I am good

You love me

therefore you are good. So I love you.



I am bad

You love me

therefore you are bad.

*Knots by R D Laing*

http://www.oikos.org/knots2.htm

Full extract

Good stuff

 

[sazc]

No, women have plenty of blame, but real men realize that you can only control YOUR OWN circle of influence.


Women are actually very predictable. The more problems they have, the more predictable they become.

You'll see this one day, once the light clicks on. No one here can make it happen for you. All we can do is hope you stick around this forum long enough that it happens on its own.

People are actually very predictable.

@Smartone84 Try this....

Stop excusing their behavior and, instead, start telling yourself "this is who they are. If I'm going to continue being interested, I need to accept that this behavior is part of the package"

Then step back and watch. You may end up realizing you can handle the behavior, you may end up realizing you're not into the behavior. Either way, at least you've embraced what is real and are making decisions rooted in what is actually happening.

 

[sazc]

Yes dude, I am serious.

A common human trait is to EXTERNALIZE.

This means we have a hard time looking in the mirror and saying, "Damn, I sucked pretty hard on that one. I guess I'll have to do better next time!"

We remember ourselves and our own behavior as much BETTER than it really was, and the behavior or the "other person" as MUCH WORSE than it really was.

To make it easier, we go on the internet, use the OTHER PERSON'S bad behavior as an EXAMPLE to further externalize.

If we can figure out a way to transition from THAT WOMEN to WOMEN LIKE THAT, it's much easier on our poor male psyches.

After all, if ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT, then you couldn't POSSIBLY have made any mistakes, right?

After all, it's a horrible dating market, all women are lunatics, and we poor guys just have no choice but to deal with this POOR FEMALE BEHAVIOR!

Woe is us....

Oh boy..... You're over the heads of 98% of ppl on this forum here....

This is where the "self improvement" talk is lacking on these forums. Part of self improvement IS changing your pattern, but that's ignored in favor of working out, wealth and personality.

Good insight! Both sexes can benefit from this wisdom.

 

[Pandora]

Here is the secret..

We Date/Marry people who reflect how we truly feel about ourselves.

I don’t feel good

therefore I am bad

therefore no one loves me.



I feel good

therefore I am good

therefore everyone loves me.



I am good

You do not love me

therefore you are bad. So I do not love you.



I am good

You love me

therefore you are good. So I love you.



I am bad

You love me

therefore you are bad.

*Knots by R D Laing*

http://www.oikos.org/knots2.htm

Full extract

This is fire!

 

[Pandora]

Right. Sadly it is in the nature of a a decent amount of American woman to go back to the drama, especially when it's also a good looking guy with some money. An ordinary person would think well, maybe these women have never been treated well before or something along those lines. That's simply not the case. They legitimately do prefer the emotional fluctuation of being toyed with and treated like sh-t sometimes, or even little things like this girl put it to me as being "ignored the entire night" of New Years Eve.

I personally would never treat a girl poorly on purpose but there is a significant level of truth to the more you play with her emotions the more connected she'll become. But there is a fine line and level that should be acknowledged here when a woman should be rational and mature enough to know that said alpha/d-ck guy just isn't right for her long term after several breakups and fights.

My issue with some posters thoughts on this topic is when I'm told it's simply your fault if she leaves you for the d-ck long term ex, even in my case where I only spent 8 weeks with the girl. Again, sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize that some women are just emotionally sporadic and whacked/narcissistic human beings. That is all.

Some would say they stay with the good looking jerk IN SPITE of him treating her badly. Not because he treated her badly. An ugly loser could treat her badly and it wouldn't trigger her emotional roller coaster. She has such a high interest in the rich good looking guy that he can do anything.

 

[Pandora]

I went out on one date with a girl about a year ago, spoke every day for a week leading up to the date. Probably a bit too much, but still. We were connecting and I was looking forward to meeting her. We ended up having an amazing time. We laughed, we joked, we went deep in convo on what was a great 2.5 hour date. At the end of the date she even shockingly friended me on facebook right at the table. She continued to come to me and text me a few days after as well. A few days later she started fading and then blew me off out of nowhere saying she had a great time, wanted to go out again, but that I "remind her" of her ex. I guess I sucked on that one too? I guess that was my fault too?

YOU are the one who needs to take the look in the mirror IMO and realize that some women are simply irrational, overly emotional, narcissistic, and often immature beings. Not ALL, but SOME.

Exactly. Most of the rejection had nothing to do with you. This is the hardest lesson to learn. The world has a lot of light and goodness in it. But the world also has a lot of darkness and bizarre behavior. Have you seen some peoples fetishes lol? Many people are dealing with mental issues and traumas we can never imagine. If you were to take a trip into the mind of the average human you would have a lot more compassion for the silent suffering taking place. Some people are also just not that intelligent. So they keep making stupid decisions. Think about your most retarded bone headed guy friend. There exist a hot women version of that guy too.

All you can do is be a well adjusted guy that follows most of the basic DJ tenets. Every thing else, including weird behavior is not your issue. If you are normal and the other other person acts abnormally, then its their issue. Most of the rejection had nothing to do with you ( granted you are a well adjusted guy). I am still internalizing this.

 

[wifehunter]

maybe... they've been flushed so many times, they consider it normal to be a turd.

ewww...

 

[derby1]

So with your analogy, men are ALWAYS to blame.

Does that sound fair? Does that sound normal?

I've made mistakes in the past and have owned up

your not a woman.... ofcourse you owned up your a man with noble beliefs and compassion

women dont apologise, they have 100 men at the end of there phone ready to be there therapist on how none of it was her fault and you are the W4nka

 

[ohrein]

If I've learned anything in ten years of paying attention to dating and relationships, it's this. People occupy a massive amount of grey area when it comes to this stuff. There are a lot of universal truths involving attraction, sex, friendship and dating. However, those truths can bend to varying degrees. I have been AFC, I have been "alpha", I have watched dozens of AFC's and "alphas" and everything in between over the last decade. There is no simple, singular answer. I know as men we want things to make sense so that we can act accordingly but people in general are pure chaos. This is why the best advice you see on these forums at the end of the day is simply to improve yourself. Be the best person you can be, treat people kindly, be honest, be authentic, and everything else sorts itself out. Seriously. Trying to make sense of an individuals behavior is almost impossible. There's far too much history, personality and day to day mood to truly understand.

Ultimately what you need to learn to master this part of your life is adaptation to individual people. Does no sex by the 5th date mean she's not interested? Does it mean she's damaged? Does it mean she's been raped? Does it mean she wants to be seen as wholesome? Does it mean she doesn't want to have sex with me? This level of micro analysis is useless so much of the time. If you get stuck whining about the fact people are complicated you will struggle a lot with life and particularly women.

This is why you decide what you want first, see if she aligns with your ideal, and just go date to date. You don't analyze, you just move forward and escalate. In between you improve yourself. The rest sorts itself out.

Don't get stuck wondering why. People are chaos.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Women want alpha proteins and the resources. A combo of a society that pedals 'sloot gonna sloot' + singlemother victimhood + anti sloot/fat shame, no responsibility, no accountability, and some cuck will still marry her and raise her bastard children; what fallout is there?

Its social conditioning. Men are getting cucked. They are marrying a *****. Women are spending the majority of the resources. Most children are raised by single moms. The single moms are riding the carousel. The father is cucked and exploited for resources. The girls grow up to exploit men and the men grow up to be door mats.