why do single women tend to seduce married men all the time?

[jophil28]

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

I know what i see and I have been looking and listening for > 30 years.
Australia is generally a more sexually conservative country.
And the further north you go the more traditional the morality seems to be.
I lived in North Carolina twenty years ago and the local social mores there resemble the way it is down here right now.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Of course married men attract single women.

For one thing, he has been "preselected".

Two, his demeanor.

And three, he is the forbidden fruit. Single women are surrounded by men who would screw them in a second, who they have no desire for. But a man who she cannot have...never!

 

[jophil28]

QUOTE=samspade]

That said, attraction and acting on attraction are different things.[/QUOTE]

Vastly different.

Curiously, a single woman who has an affair with a married man has much less to lose than he does should the shyte hit the fan. Married guys need to do a risk/benefit analysis before they get involved with some wacko who wants what she can't have.

 

[jophil28]

I dated a girl bout 5 years ago. She was dating a married guy then too,and picked him over me because she said she was scared she was gettin too close to me. Can you believe that shyt? I mean WTF is that about.

Heard that at least six times over the years.

 

[zekko]

Married men inadvertently become (or at least present the appearance of) who they should've been while single; insanely, unapologetically and confidently indifferent to women.

This seems to suggest that a man is in fact better off if he has a woman than if he doesn't. Witness research that says married men are happier than single men.

This forum often suggests a guy shouldn't worry about whether he has a woman or not. While it's true that a man shouldn't be dependent on a woman for his happiness, Rollo's remarks here suggest that having a woman is just naturally better for his mental health.

 

[jophil28]

Rollo's remarks here suggest that having a woman is just naturally better for his mental health.

Unless she rated a mention in one of the BPD threads.

 

[jafyk]

I'm going to go in a different directions with the orgininal question that was asked. Single girls seduce married men because they gave their power away and let it happen by not maintaining the appropriate boundary and trying to see how far they could get.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Rollo's remarks here suggest that having a woman is just naturally better for his mental health.

Heheheh,.. I dunno if I'd go that far. Makes it sound like I'd revert to being some unstable psychotic if I didn't have some girl around. I think it all kind of depends on the woman you're living with. I have several friends who'd strongly disagree with the idea that a woman is some kind of balancing influence in a guy's life - quite the opposite actually.

I don't think mental stability should be some litmus test for monogamy. When I hear men trot out the idea that married / LTR men live longer or are happier/healthier all I get is a sales pitch. It's similar to the myth of the lonely old man - if you don't settle for some LTR soon you'll wind up lonely / unhealthy, unhappy. It's kind of a disingenuous claim really; happy or healthy according to who's standards? If you ask men to rate their relative happiness after 15 years of marriage as opposed to 5 years, or a married man of 45 vs. a kid who married at 19 I think you'd get a much wider range of responses. Improved health isn't a reason to get married, nor is marriage a guarantee of long life.

 

[zekko]

Heheheh,.. I dunno if I'd go that far. Makes it sound like I'd revert to being some unstable psychotic if I didn't have some girl around. I think it all kind of depends on the woman you're living with. I have several friends who'd strongly disagree with the idea that a woman is some kind of balancing influence in a guy's life - quite the opposite actually.

Dude, you were the one who said the married guy basically becomes the man he should have been all along. All basically by default. The whole premise of this thread is that marriage makes the guy more attractive. And all of this occurs without any conscious effort on his part, no studying pickup theory, anything.

That said, obviously you are right you do not want to settle for any girl just to achieve this effect. Honestly, a lot of women are downright dangerous to your mental health. If you make a woman your wife, you had better have qualified her, qualified, and qualified some more.

This effect isn't necessarily limited to married men either, guys who spin plates successfully give off the same kind of aura. Having options is the main thing.

And while I agree that you should not be dependent on women or relationships for happiness, I'm willing to bet most research shows that guys who have success with women are a lot happier than guys who do not.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

The fact that single women are so attracted to married men, is just one of the reasons that I believe in God. Our world and our lives are wayyyyy too ironic to have been an abstract creation of evolution; no, there is a God, with a Godlike sense of humor. Just ask the married man who sais, "Sure wish I could've pulled tail like this when I was single! Dah!"

But like the man said, you don't have to be a married man to attract all these single girls. A single man need only discover the ancient scrolls of SS to receive enlightenment.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Dude, you were the one who said the married guy basically becomes the man he should have been all along. All basically by default.

True, but the irony of the whole thing is that most guys have no idea why they've become more attractive to women, nor do they have the capacity to capitalize on since they're married. They assume it's because women have some irresistible attraction to the challenge a married guy represents. It's true the married guy is more of a challenge, but this is due to her having to qualify to him because he's got nothing to lose and this manifests in his behavior - not because women are so goal oriented or determined.

I should also add that the guy becomes the Man he should've been while single, but he's not single anymore. He's more attractive to women he's not permitted to ƒuck. The ideal situation would be to adopt the same mindset, confidence and behaviors that make a "nothing-to-lose" married Man attractive while still having the opportunities to enjoy the benefits of being single.

 

[IamMyownMan]

I know what i see and I have been looking and listening for > 30 years.

The above does not refute my original statement, whether you put 30, 50, or 100 years in front of it. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Australia is generally a more sexually conservative country.

That is purely opinion on your part, even though you have stated it as fact. I know plenty of Sheilas have had a root with a Seppo just because of the accent bit. I think Durex even did a survey few years ago that ranked Australia above America on promiscuity, but maybe that was purely for marketing purposes.

And the further north you go the more traditional the morality seems to be.

Sometimes things seem to be one way but behind closed doors they are not.
I lived in North Carolina twenty years ago and the local social mores there resemble the way it is down here right now.

Do you mean the way it was in NC twenty years ago? Or, do you mean that they still are very similar? I could not tell based on your statement.

Didn't you spend your time in the bastion of feminazis-Chapel Hill- those twenty years ago? A friend of mine who studied in NSW, witnessed his friend another Seppo, get roofied on the Goldie by a guy at a bar because the Seppo was getting too much attention from the local ladies...is that fair play in the Lucky Coutry, or does it reflect the morals of the Aussie population, or was it just a one-off event? I'd imagine it was a one-off event, but someone with a need to feel superior might draw a different conclusion.

My response in blue.

 

[Big Overseas 1]

Reading this thread again. When you push all Evo/psych overthinking to one side you can see that a lot of girls date married fellas bcuz these girls are damaged goods.

Too scared to get close.

A single fella whose available for more than just a fucck scares the shyt out of them.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Reading this thread again. When you push all Evo/psych overthinking to one side you can see that a lot of girls date married fellas bcuz these girls are damaged goods.

Too scared to get close.

A single fella whose available for more than just a fucck scares the shyt out of them.

I'd tend to agree. You aren't seeing the most stable women chase after married men. Also, I'm not sure if the question posed title of this thread can realistically be answered--it's akin to asking, "why do men tend to sleep with their ex's friends all the time?" Neither of these things happen "all the time," so we are really just discussing things that may or may not happen in life.

Now, if we are talking about why a hypothetical woman may be attracted to a married man, I'd go with what Rollo said--when sexual gratification is already accounted for, an AFC may display some very masculine, challenging behavior to women. But, again, these women are probably a bit nutty.

 

[jophil28]

Reading this thread again. When you push all Evo/psych overthinking to one side you can see that a lot of girls date married fellas bcuz these girls are damaged goods.

Too scared to get close.

A single fella whose available for more than just a fucck scares the shyt out of them.

Yes, I had an LTR with a woman who had been in an affair with a married guy . She eventually revealed herself as terrified of being in an "available" relationship with me. She sabotaged our LTR, while endlessly bleating about my behavior .
Then, I had a one year relationship with a women who had been married herself but had two extra marital affaire while she was married.
She also was totally unsuitable to be in an adult relationship.


These women came very close to fitting the popular women's magazine description of "committmentphobe".

Once again i learned the lesson that a woman's past relationship experiences will reveal all you need to know about her.

 

[f283000]

Women want what they can't have it's that simple. It has already been answered in this thread already.

Next time you have a date with a good looking woman go to a place that is frequented by lots of good looking women. Go to a college campus and walk around with your hot date hand in hand. It won't take long for you to see the prying eyes of other women looking at you with curiosity. It's not because they never seen a couple walking around together before it's because they are wondering about YOU!

The theories of pre-selection and social proof are very much true. It's incredible how much more attractive a man becomes to other women when he is seen with a woman by his side or happens to be married. It should be the opposite as she shouldn't want what is already taken and when there's plenty of single guys around, but no she has to go for the taken guy.

Being a married man is the ultimate in terms of pre-selection. It has much more value to a woman than you just having a girlfriend for the fact that a woman was already willing to tie the knot with you which makes you much more valuable. Marriage is a pact that holds much more value than a simple relationship.

 

[zekko]

I still think it's mainly that the most attractive guys are the taken guys, and that's why they draw the interest. While there is some credence to the "women want what they can't have" idea, I think it's a little overblown.

Where I live, most guys have girlfriends (or wives). The guys who don't tend to have some odd little quirks socially, and/or are only interested in sex.