Why do most of the guys lose themselves in the game and how to avoid that pitfall?

[Dr.Suave]

You know i just came across this thing David DeAngelo said going though some of his stuff -

"The men who are singlehandedly focused on getting laid are empty people.

And they women the attract are unhealthy women.

While men who have discovered their purpose, what they want to do, they paradoxically attract more amazing women"

D@mn! Makes sense. Like most things in life, I guess there can be exceptions but yeah otherwise I think he has a point and its something we already knew (or should know) at least on a sub-concious level or something.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just like Britney Spears sang about...

"I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby


Oops, I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent..."

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

This is so silly i will not even bother with a response. See you 10 years later when you're broke, fat, still at the singles bar and probably with a std and nothing but your "lay count" to brag about to people who didn't give a **** and think you're a washed up loser because you were single-handedly focused on getting laid in the prime years of your life.

Says every incel techbro…posturing on Internet forums…

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I think doing Game/PU etc just to do it, becomes a technical skill at that point. One loses the human connection and it becomes a souless, activity. .
The point of being with a woman. Even if it is a ONS, is to be with and connect with her on some level.
Though. It may just be me. But I haven’t felt that ‘connection’ if all that happened was a BJ. However, that’s not very often as most girls want to get railed.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Says every incel techbro…posturing on Internet forums…

Never said don't focus on getting laid, all i said was don't focus 'single-handedly' on getting laid, I'm sure that's what David DeAngelo was getting at as well. If you're single-handedly focused, you're basically doing everything and thinking only to try to get laid. Pu$$y is the center of your universe. The only light in the dark void your life is. That's miserable.

If you're in your 20s or early 30s, in all probability with that mindset your career, relationships and health will suffer and if god forbid, you get succesfully laid with that attitude, you'll keep using that to numb you from facing how empty your life as until it's too late.

Pu$$y is fantastic man, but its not the best thing in the world to live for. There are better things to live for, aspire for and to die for.

 

[zekko]

Never said don't focus on getting laid, all i said was don't focus 'single-handedly' on getting laid, I'm sure that's what David DeAngelo was getting at as well.

Yeah, I've never heard anyone say that guys should only focus on getting laid. That's madness.

But if you're looking to get good at something, you usually have to put some focus on it. Being good with women is something of an exception, because there are some guys that it just comes naturally to, they just grow up and the girls become part of their natural socializing life. Also, different guys have different advantages, be it physically, mentally, emotionally, personality, financial, whatever. A guy can be very good with girls but still lose out to another guy who has natural gifts, or is more the girl's particular type. It's what makes "game" so unique, and why it comes relatively easy for some guys and nearly impossible for others.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

what is the difference between cold approach and PUA? I barely read any of the gurus anymore, but cold approach esp in day game is a lot more effective than night game for meeting people.

also a lot of the teachers and stuff are doing it as a business.. of course the "joy" of it is gone

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Yeah, I've never heard anyone say that guys should only focus on getting laid. That's madness.

No one says that, but its what a lot of men do it themselves..

 

[RangerMIke]

Life has to have balance. And if your life is the endless pursuit to get laid… well you have no balance. Same it true who is endlessly pursuing money. Or drug addiction… anything really.

For a PUA… well if the night ends without getting laid… your time spent is a failure. You will have more failures than success evenly you start to lower your standards and you end up having hookups with low quality women where the only thing they bring to the table is sex.

That is not a good life.

 

[SW15]

For a PUA… well if the night ends without getting laid… your time spent is a failure. You will have more failures than success evenly you start to lower your standards and you end up having hookups with low quality women where the only thing they bring to the table is sex.

That is not a good life.

Most nights end poorly for most men, regardless of whether they identify as a PUA or not. At the end of a night, most men end up leaving the bar empty handed, semi-intoxicated, and unhappy that they didn't get laid or arrange dates that night.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Most nights end poorly for most men, regardless of whether they identify as a PUA or not. At the end of a night, most men end up leaving the bar empty handed, semi-intoxicated, and unhappy that they didn't get laid or arrange dates that night.

Yeah, well. Just got ghosted for the first time today. It sucks ass. I'm not doing dating apps or insta game ever. Cold approach - cold rejection is way better than being ghosted.

 

[Gamisch]

Most nights end poorly for most men, regardless of whether they identify as a PUA or not. At the end of a night, most men end up leaving the bar empty handed, semi-intoxicated, and unhappy that they didn't get laid or arrange dates that night.

Thats why going out MUST be about more than just chasing tail...e.s.t.d.(easier said..)

Lotta cap to justify going out and not catching a fish...such as

Watching a game
Catching up with a friend
Networking/ business/connections
Showing yourself (long term game)
"The music"
"To dance"
"To drink"

Eventually the night life will become more important than ever for a DJ. No way around it.

Life has to have balance. And if your life is the endless pursuit to get laid… well you have no balance. Same it true who is endlessly pursuing money. Or drug addiction… anything really.

For a PUA… well if the night ends without getting laid… your time spent is a failure. You will have more failures than success evenly you start to lower your standards and you end up having hookups with low quality women where the only thing they bring to the table is sex.

That is not a good life.

Eventually such a life will make you a man with nothing to show for.

Occasionally another man is equally interested in chasing women ,but most men HATE to listen to a DJ talking about his many notches and conquests.

And that man who is interested will simultaneously be your most fierce competitor, fecking the exact same women as you..

The eternal battle between being red,blue,purple or even blackpilled...

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Most nights end poorly for most men, regardless of whether they identify as a PUA or not. At the end of a night, most men end up leaving the bar empty handed, semi-intoxicated, and unhappy that they didn't get laid or arrange dates that night.

If getting laid is why they went to that bar in the first place.

You assume that everyone is hunting pusssy, but a lot of people go to bars for entirely different reasons.

 

[zekko]

No one says that, but its what a lot of men do it themselves..

Some do, it's true. I can understand putting a lot of energy into it, but to the exclusion of all else? There's too much else interesting that's going on. Seems like you'd have to be practically brain dead.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

PAH, you shouldn't be focused on women but rather women should be focused on you, that's the game, anything else is BS, the pursuits your time Is used for should be about creating value for yourself

 

[BadBoy89]

This is so silly i will not even bother with a response. See you 10 years later when you're broke, fat, still at the singles bar and probably with a std and nothing but your "lay count" to brag about to people who didn't give a **** and think you're a washed up loser because you were single-handedly focused on getting laid in the prime years of your life.

The whole thread you have been assuming, dismissive, and projecting to fit your narrative.

Our politicians have taught us well.

 

[RangerMIke]

Most nights end poorly for most men, regardless of whether they identify as a PUA or not. At the end of a night, most men end up leaving the bar empty handed, semi-intoxicated, and unhappy that they didn't get laid or arrange dates that night.

True.... Well... it is true for me. even back when I was a lot better looking and younger... and the club scene was hopping. I failed I'm guessing 75% of the time. But I used to go out to have fun... getting chicks was just something I did when I was there... I like meeting new people and to me a successful night was just having a good time.

But if you are a PUA, and your success if based on a lay count... every night that doesn't end like that is a failure. We humans HATE to fail... regret because of loss is worst than a potential success. So to avoid feeling bad... the PUA ends up hooking up with horrible women. I mean really horrendous beasts.... just about any man can harpoon a land whale, and if you MUST get laid.... well.... you can have success every night.