Ajbobtom
Don Juan
The title, is a bit of a misnomer. I am starting to understand why I get "LJBF." My real inquiry is, how might I get out of this situation and which way is the best for me?
So, let me start off with a basic review of the previous "LJBF" situation. So, I found a interest in this girl Ashley. My first glance of this girl was in a class we shared. At first I really started off with semi-casual conversation. Later I developed it towards teasing her. After a while of this, near the end of the semester, I noticed something that made me want her more.
I noticed this silly, 5k run t-shirt she was wearing. I thought to my self "Okay so shes into running, I like where this might end up." So, I pursued her more. I inquired about running. She gave me a bit of a run down (no pun intended). She said something near the end about how she had to stop running.
So I used this as a wiggle room, to get my foot in the door. I said, "Well hey, if you want to start running again, here is my number." That was the last day I saw her for a good month or two. Next thing I know, I get a text from some odd number. I thought, "Oh great, who the hell is this." Obviously it was her.
After a day, or so (It might have been a day). I decided to ask her if she wanted to follow up on my offer. She accepts with the condition of bringing her friend along. I did not see any harm in this, I just figured, she is probably nervous or wants to make sure I am not a creep or anything.
That went off the deep end. For the most part, I slowed my pace to get behind them to watch their strides and foot strikes. After they were done running, I really did not want to run any more either. So Ashley insisted on me running more, so I did not have to go running at night.
She persisted, and I started joking with her. Things like "You know I can just ignore you right?" She retorted with "You know thats not very nice right?" I ignored her, and stared into the distance (I frequently do this).
So, after we left the area where we were running at. I thought to my self, "God I AM NOT going any where wither her again." After three days, I changed how I thought about it. I changed my thought to "God that friend of hers was annoying as hell!" After a while, I shot her a text.
We continued talking for a week, or so I believe. Later on I found out that her friend moved away. So I made my move. I eventually asked her to go out again with me. This time we would go alone some where. The area where I live has hills, or mountains, depending on how you look at them I guess. So I decided I would take her up there (secluded away from society). At first, the original date fell through (She said her brothers wanted to go fishing). The next day she decided she would go with me. Now when she told me this, she had told me her leg was hurting. (She told me why she had stopped running before I ran with her.)
So we went up to the hill, which was quite a walk, from where I parked. I had to help her out of my car. (seeing as she cant open the passenger door). We got to the mountain, and we had a decent conversation, about things under the sun. She commented about not standing next to me, because she thought I was going to shove her down the side of the hill. (Yes, its really steep).
Eventually, some teenagers drove up the mountain (I honestly don't know how). She made the remark, about how they came up there to have intercourse. After a few moments of other conversation about it. Not really joking. I turn, put my arm around her, and start walking while saying "Hey there is a nice dark spot, lets go have sex."
After a while I told my brother and his wife about what was going on (Yes, it was a secret, I just don't want people to stick there nose where it doesn't belong). His wife suggested a double date, to a movie. At first my question was "I know she likes me, but how the hell am I going to get her to go to the movies with me?" I came to this conclusion. I sent her a message "So.. my brother and his wife want to drag me to the movies." She shot back with something like "Yeah?" or it was something like "Why?"
I answered in a funny way. I said something alone the lines of "Well they want me to go with them, because they really like me. But the problem is, its a date for them, and I don't want to feel like a third wheel." Her response was "Oh.." So I sent this back to her "Well, seeing as they are going to make me go, do you want to come with me?"
She accepted, that was awesome or so I thought. During the movie, I was shy with body language at first. Eventually I thought "You know, what ever, as long as I try, it wont hurt!" So, I put my hand on her knee. She noticed my hand and tapped it, almost like hitting it. She did this little tap twice, and left my hand alone. I wanted to progress farther, because I wanted more out of this.
After a while, of side-tracked contemplation. I grabbed her hand, I thought this was a good opportunity. Seeing as she was rubbing face, for some reason. It worked! I felt proud. Seeing as this was actually my real first girl friend??? So I thought back to all the posts I have read on this forum. Remembering things like kino and such. I decided to test her interest in me.
I started by squeezing her hand, just a little. I got this little squeeze back. I would like to believe I was on a roll here. After a while, I wanted to test her interest again. So I rubbed my thumb on hers. She gave a rub on the finger back. So after a while of this hand holding (which was awkward with an erection). I decided to move in and put my arm around this girl. After I released my hand for a while, I started trying to put my arm around her. She offered no resistance. (This is some what like it was for the hand holding.)
My arm was around her for a good while, when the movie ended we went to the parking lot. My brother, his wife, Ashley, and I talked for a while there. The wife mentioned me joking about her getting a little belly. Ashley reached over and hit my stomach (***** slap style). When I drove her home, we talked a little. She was texting on her phone to her mother I believe. I said something and made her spell a different word then the one she wanted.
I immediately got confirmation that she was paying attention to me. When the night ended, I walked her to her door. Gave her a hug and left. Later on, my brothers wife, offered again a double date with a movie. So I asked Ashley if she wanted to go. She accepted and we set the time and date.
This time it went the same with greater or less results. It was a fun time, the ending was different thought. When I went to drive her home, she was on the phone the whole time! After a while I got annoyed by this (this was the friend that moved.) So I started stopping hard at stop lights (nothing to serious, just a little hint.) She eventually got off her phone.
I started talking to a while after I dropped her off. (One of my mistakes.) My sister in law decided to bug my unceasingly about if she was my girl friend or not. I made the comment to Ashley.
This is where I really am stuck. She has started to show less interest in me. She will listen to me when I talk. She has cancelled on me a couple of times by using excuses. I got sick of this and baited her with a movie she had wanted to see. (Turns out the movie was rubbish.) This and well, a little guilt trip. she said and I quote "I am very convincing", then said something to the effect of "Well, I do want to watch it, but I have plans with friends and I don't want to bail on any one." I replied with, "Well, you bailed on me the other night, so I don't see how this is any different."
She came up to my place with me (I had it alone for the week end). She insisted on me telling her something about me. I pressed her about her past and asked questions about her, but she wouldn't budge! (This is where I knew I had reviled to much of my self to her.) Her friends eventually wanted her to go along with them. So I drove her to a place they knew, and we waited for like 20-30 minutes. We talked about somethings, I cannot remember all the details.
After a while, I inquired about a relationship between me and her. Things went okay, until the friends showed up. She got up to leave, and said "Text me if you want some time." Then she left. After I went to the store and got a drink or two. I resumed texting her and continuing the 'relationship' talk. This really ended in disaster. It got to the point of where she said "I just don't think of you that way." and she continued with "you're a really good friend." This is where I found the most proof that I blew this to bits. I replied with something like "So what, im just going to be the guy left holding the bag?" I got this reply "Dude just leave." I was confused but knew where it was going. "Leave me alone." I retorted with "Alright, but just know that you started this after I said I would text you later when you got home." She sent the last text message and repeated "I just don't see you in that way" "you're a really good friend."
So what I'm asking is, should I continue to pursue this girl? Or should I just move on? I would like answers for both sides. If I continue to pursue her, how would I get out of the 'friend zone'. If I move on, how should I use this experience to benefit future relationships? (Granted when we were in the movies the first time, I felt tempted to grope her, but I did not, Later in the dark of the theater I decided to test my self, to see how far I could go with this girl.)
So, let me start off with a basic review of the previous "LJBF" situation. So, I found a interest in this girl Ashley. My first glance of this girl was in a class we shared. At first I really started off with semi-casual conversation. Later I developed it towards teasing her. After a while of this, near the end of the semester, I noticed something that made me want her more.
I noticed this silly, 5k run t-shirt she was wearing. I thought to my self "Okay so shes into running, I like where this might end up." So, I pursued her more. I inquired about running. She gave me a bit of a run down (no pun intended). She said something near the end about how she had to stop running.
So I used this as a wiggle room, to get my foot in the door. I said, "Well hey, if you want to start running again, here is my number." That was the last day I saw her for a good month or two. Next thing I know, I get a text from some odd number. I thought, "Oh great, who the hell is this." Obviously it was her.
After a day, or so (It might have been a day). I decided to ask her if she wanted to follow up on my offer. She accepts with the condition of bringing her friend along. I did not see any harm in this, I just figured, she is probably nervous or wants to make sure I am not a creep or anything.
That went off the deep end. For the most part, I slowed my pace to get behind them to watch their strides and foot strikes. After they were done running, I really did not want to run any more either. So Ashley insisted on me running more, so I did not have to go running at night.
She persisted, and I started joking with her. Things like "You know I can just ignore you right?" She retorted with "You know thats not very nice right?" I ignored her, and stared into the distance (I frequently do this).
So, after we left the area where we were running at. I thought to my self, "God I AM NOT going any where wither her again." After three days, I changed how I thought about it. I changed my thought to "God that friend of hers was annoying as hell!" After a while, I shot her a text.
We continued talking for a week, or so I believe. Later on I found out that her friend moved away. So I made my move. I eventually asked her to go out again with me. This time we would go alone some where. The area where I live has hills, or mountains, depending on how you look at them I guess. So I decided I would take her up there (secluded away from society). At first, the original date fell through (She said her brothers wanted to go fishing). The next day she decided she would go with me. Now when she told me this, she had told me her leg was hurting. (She told me why she had stopped running before I ran with her.)
So we went up to the hill, which was quite a walk, from where I parked. I had to help her out of my car. (seeing as she cant open the passenger door). We got to the mountain, and we had a decent conversation, about things under the sun. She commented about not standing next to me, because she thought I was going to shove her down the side of the hill. (Yes, its really steep).
Eventually, some teenagers drove up the mountain (I honestly don't know how). She made the remark, about how they came up there to have intercourse. After a few moments of other conversation about it. Not really joking. I turn, put my arm around her, and start walking while saying "Hey there is a nice dark spot, lets go have sex."
After a while I told my brother and his wife about what was going on (Yes, it was a secret, I just don't want people to stick there nose where it doesn't belong). His wife suggested a double date, to a movie. At first my question was "I know she likes me, but how the hell am I going to get her to go to the movies with me?" I came to this conclusion. I sent her a message "So.. my brother and his wife want to drag me to the movies." She shot back with something like "Yeah?" or it was something like "Why?"
I answered in a funny way. I said something alone the lines of "Well they want me to go with them, because they really like me. But the problem is, its a date for them, and I don't want to feel like a third wheel." Her response was "Oh.." So I sent this back to her "Well, seeing as they are going to make me go, do you want to come with me?"
She accepted, that was awesome or so I thought. During the movie, I was shy with body language at first. Eventually I thought "You know, what ever, as long as I try, it wont hurt!" So, I put my hand on her knee. She noticed my hand and tapped it, almost like hitting it. She did this little tap twice, and left my hand alone. I wanted to progress farther, because I wanted more out of this.
After a while, of side-tracked contemplation. I grabbed her hand, I thought this was a good opportunity. Seeing as she was rubbing face, for some reason. It worked! I felt proud. Seeing as this was actually my real first girl friend??? So I thought back to all the posts I have read on this forum. Remembering things like kino and such. I decided to test her interest in me.
I started by squeezing her hand, just a little. I got this little squeeze back. I would like to believe I was on a roll here. After a while, I wanted to test her interest again. So I rubbed my thumb on hers. She gave a rub on the finger back. So after a while of this hand holding (which was awkward with an erection). I decided to move in and put my arm around this girl. After I released my hand for a while, I started trying to put my arm around her. She offered no resistance. (This is some what like it was for the hand holding.)
My arm was around her for a good while, when the movie ended we went to the parking lot. My brother, his wife, Ashley, and I talked for a while there. The wife mentioned me joking about her getting a little belly. Ashley reached over and hit my stomach (***** slap style). When I drove her home, we talked a little. She was texting on her phone to her mother I believe. I said something and made her spell a different word then the one she wanted.
I immediately got confirmation that she was paying attention to me. When the night ended, I walked her to her door. Gave her a hug and left. Later on, my brothers wife, offered again a double date with a movie. So I asked Ashley if she wanted to go. She accepted and we set the time and date.
This time it went the same with greater or less results. It was a fun time, the ending was different thought. When I went to drive her home, she was on the phone the whole time! After a while I got annoyed by this (this was the friend that moved.) So I started stopping hard at stop lights (nothing to serious, just a little hint.) She eventually got off her phone.
I started talking to a while after I dropped her off. (One of my mistakes.) My sister in law decided to bug my unceasingly about if she was my girl friend or not. I made the comment to Ashley.
This is where I really am stuck. She has started to show less interest in me. She will listen to me when I talk. She has cancelled on me a couple of times by using excuses. I got sick of this and baited her with a movie she had wanted to see. (Turns out the movie was rubbish.) This and well, a little guilt trip. she said and I quote "I am very convincing", then said something to the effect of "Well, I do want to watch it, but I have plans with friends and I don't want to bail on any one." I replied with, "Well, you bailed on me the other night, so I don't see how this is any different."
She came up to my place with me (I had it alone for the week end). She insisted on me telling her something about me. I pressed her about her past and asked questions about her, but she wouldn't budge! (This is where I knew I had reviled to much of my self to her.) Her friends eventually wanted her to go along with them. So I drove her to a place they knew, and we waited for like 20-30 minutes. We talked about somethings, I cannot remember all the details.
After a while, I inquired about a relationship between me and her. Things went okay, until the friends showed up. She got up to leave, and said "Text me if you want some time." Then she left. After I went to the store and got a drink or two. I resumed texting her and continuing the 'relationship' talk. This really ended in disaster. It got to the point of where she said "I just don't think of you that way." and she continued with "you're a really good friend." This is where I found the most proof that I blew this to bits. I replied with something like "So what, im just going to be the guy left holding the bag?" I got this reply "Dude just leave." I was confused but knew where it was going. "Leave me alone." I retorted with "Alright, but just know that you started this after I said I would text you later when you got home." She sent the last text message and repeated "I just don't see you in that way" "you're a really good friend."
So what I'm asking is, should I continue to pursue this girl? Or should I just move on? I would like answers for both sides. If I continue to pursue her, how would I get out of the 'friend zone'. If I move on, how should I use this experience to benefit future relationships? (Granted when we were in the movies the first time, I felt tempted to grope her, but I did not, Later in the dark of the theater I decided to test my self, to see how far I could go with this girl.)
