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Sometimes we want to believe things that simply can't be supported by research or facts. One of these areas is prostitution.
It is often assumed that most prostitutes are drug addicts and mentally inadequate women that have been forced into a lifestyle that they don't like, but can't escape.
In actual fact, studies have shown that in terms of psychological attributes, prostitutes do not appreciably differ from other women. And, except for "street walkers" controlled by pimps, most appear to have freely chosen to both be in and to stay in the lifestyle.
An article in the Journal of Personality Assessment found that the only difference between prostitutes and non-prostitutes who shared similar class and family backgrounds was that on a yearly basis the prostitutes earned at least twice as much.
Moira Griffin, writing in an American Bar Association publication, asks, "Are wives and hookers really all that different? Why is a woman who trades sex for money branded a criminal, while a woman who trades sex for domestic services for financial support is accorded society's approbation?"
One answer is that one is seen as providing sex to only one man, and the other to multiple men. As we've noted elsewhere, sexual exclusivity was codified into Jewish religious law, and then into civic law, primarily to protect the church and men's property. Included in the latter was a man's wife. Later, Jewish law, which by that time had become "God's law," was absorbed into Christian teachings.
With the advent of effective birth control some 50 years ago, and apart from traditional beliefs and the "woman as male property" concept, the original justification for sexual exclusivity has all but disappeared. Even the argument of controlling sexually-transmitted disease, which is still a significant concern, applies less to prostitutes than to the general population. Data suggests that only a small percent of STDs are transmitted by prostitutes, and most of this is by street walkers, many of whom are associated with drugs.
What we might call "the higher-class prostitutes" are even more careful about avoiding STD than the average "girl next door." One of the reasons is that sex is their business, and STD can end their livelihoods—and possibly their lives.
With the male-centered laws against prostitution, men are assuming jurisdiction over how females are allowed to conduct their sexual lives, even though hundreds of thousands of those same men regularly help define the sexual lives of women by using the services of prostitutes.
The "Sin" Argument
Organized religion, specifically the Catholic Church, officially feels that sex should be reserved for procreation, and enjoying sex for its own sake is a sin. Interestingly, the Catholic Church condoned prostitution at one point in history, although possibly reluctantly. It was only when the anti-sex movement swept the church hundreds of years after Christianity started that attitudes were reversed. (Biblical scholars feel that Christ, who came from a Jewish background, had a much more open-minded view of sex.)
The sex-is-not-to-enjoy stance is one of the reasons the Catholic Church opposes reliable birth control, despite the fact that it results in three major problems: (1) unwanted children that can't be properly fed, clothed, or educated, (2) friction between a husband and wife, and (3) the husband frequently turning to "other women" for sexual satisfaction.
The general public also has a strange love-hate relationship—or, possibly more accurately, a love-fear relationship—with sex. It tends to feel that sex and love are inextricably associated, even though we know that millions of men and women regularly enjoy sex without being in love.
In addition, millions of affairs take place annually, without a mate knowing; and since the mate does not know, the marriage stays intact.
Since it is well known that sex can be enjoyed without love, one major question is why sex so often supersedes love in dictating whether a marriage stays intact.
The "Having To Provide Sex" Argument
Many people assume that for strictly economic reasons prostitutes have to provide a service that they are basically adverse to. Since many wives find sex is simply a "duty" of marriage, this seems logical.
However, Amy, a former full-time prostitute who we interviewed, said that she generally enjoyed her work, especially the sex. The fact that she regularly climaxed with the men she spent the night with would seem to support this. After more than two years as a prostitute without contracting an STD or becoming pregnant, Amy found a job with a large U.S. corporation. We should also note that throughout her more than two years as a prostitute, Amy never used drugs or even alcohol. Possibly her case is unusual, but she did report that many of her prostitute friends shared her feelings.
Amy's primary problem with her profession was what people thought about it.
When I went out with a guy [on a regular date] I always lived in fear that somehow he would find out, and that would be the end of the relationship. ...I never even told [the man I later married] for a long time, until I felt certain he could handle it. ...Since I learned to be pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex, [my husband] said that he suspected that I was 'rather experienced,' not that I guess he was complaining, or anything.
...But, I also know that most men couldn't deal with anything like that; so that's a very major problem. ...Fortunately, I don't live anywhere near where I worked [as a prostitute], so having one of my old customers recognize me is kind of remote.
The "having to provide sex," anti-prostitution argument is clouded by the fact in many states a wife can't legally claim that she was forced to have sex with her husband against her will. In other words, when it comes to her husband, a rape charge can't be effectively sustained.
Even when regularly abused by a husband, many wives feel that they have no alternative but to stay in the marriage — sometimes with devastating consequences. Each year, more women are killed by husbands than they are by johns or pimps.
This does not mean that prostitution is not a dangerous business. Prostitutes, especially street walkers, are at best considered second-class citizens whose personal welfare isn't valued as much as "decent women." Street walkers frequently get raped, sometimes by policemen who threaten them with imprisonment if they bring charges.
There is no doubt that some women to turn to prostitution to support a drug habit—just as many men turn to crime to support their drug habit. Once this spirals down into the depths of drug dependence, it can represent a slovenly and shameful sight.
The media often focuses on this very real and very tragic element of prostitution. It both supports public perceptions and further encourages politically popular efforts at control.
Interestingly, if the media focused on the six-figure income and jet-set lifestyle of some prostitutes, they know that the public—especially that part of it with young females were in the house—would strongly object. It's a message they don't want the media to disseminate, because, however true, it's a message that threatens traditional beliefs. This brings us to...
The Other Side of Prostitution
The negative aspects of prostitution notwithstanding, when you compare the life of a "better class" prostitute with the average woman in the work force, it's easy to see why so many women enter "the life."
Wives and women in the general work force often feel more trapped their lifestyle than prostitutes. This is due in part because the average female worker earns about 60-cents for every dollar a man makes, and she must often must struggle to survive economically.
Plus, no matter how talented they are or how hard they work, it seems that many women in the general work force sooner or later confront the "glass ceiling" that keeps them from moving up to the six-figure executive positions held almost exclusively by men. The income of the 'better class" of prostitute can easily exceed six figures. A prostitute can make more in one day than the average waitress or office worker can make in a week.
