Why do guys want to get married?

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
A womans past is 99.9999% of who she is. You can't just forget about a womans past.

Every man wants a woman who has proven that she can uphold an oath. A woman who remains a virgin or even one who tries to keep her numbers low is a woman who has proven that her emotionals don't rule her life. When a temptation comes her way she will be less likely to cheat.

That is very important. You would have to be a complete idiot not to judge a woman that you plan to give a ring to on her past. When you make a judgment call that will change your life you have to consider EVERYTHING!

I'm definatley not saying don't think about the past of your partner. I mean if she told you she was a crack ***** and contracted aids, yeah that's probably not the best crentials for your spouse. But if you meet a college girl who had emotional difficultis in the past (sexual abuse by a parent or otherwise male role in her life) and it drove her crazy resulting in her sleeping with some people, I wouldn't blame her. Sure this scenerio would require YEARS of counseling to get past but if you love her more then life itself then it's worth it. Not saying I'd recommend hooking up with someone like that but people are people. We all make mistakes and we all deserve a chance for redemtion, aid, and love.

I'm also not saying you should "blind yourself" from the past either. If your girlfriend is promiscuous for one reason or another and you've convinced yourself that "But it's different with me" you've definately got another thing coming. It wouldn't be out of the question to want to know where she is pretty much all of the time until she's proven unconditional loyalty to you and yours. But also relationships like that will take additional work and a higher level of communication to maintain a good atmosphere. It's out there, if you're up for it.

The fact is that everyone has skeletons of somekind. Few people are innocent in this world and you'll most likely have to put in a lot of effort to make a relatioship work. I don't think that just because a girl is a virgin and you marry her that this assures you that she's not going to cheat. I've seen vigins go balistic after having sex just once and for anybody to think that their innocent virgin formerly vigin girlfriend doesn't have straying thoughts, you're just setting yourself up for a fall. Virgin does not equal free ride, you'll have to d just as much work to maintain a relationship with them as any other human being with some form or sex drive.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Scought

Are people afraid of being alone, so they get married?
Are they insecure that they believe marriage will 'keep' the girl?

why do people.. men want to get married? (We know why women want to)
Fear of..inability to find a woman.
Fear of losing a her.. a good woman.

Marriage somwhat assure you: she is here...her puzzy is right next to you...dont worry...Very simple.

If you can find easily a good looking woman every day, why would you want to get married and eventually smell diapers???

 

[Scought]

I dont want to get married lets get that out of the way first of all.

I just think its funny guys jump into marriage. Or after X amount of months with a girl, they believe marriage has to be next, its retarded.

I also think its weird when guys let a girl replace their friends, or let a girl stop doing what they were doing before they got together. You know what I'm saying?

I've have a lot of friends getting married, or living with their girl and its crazy how whipped they are.
I am not a woman hater either. What I mean is that I value good relationships and monogamy, and I am not about one night stands and such. What happens is that I think people take it too seriously and do stuff (marriage) because they are bored, or dont see anyother option. Its lame. I hope that makes it more clear.

You can be serious with someone without having to get married. I think a lot of people see marriage as the end all be all, and that a ring and marriage mean sex is always going on (its not), that she wont cheat (she will) and that happiness ensues. Not really sure what the big attraction of marriage is.

I think people believe marriage makes things complete. Rather ridiculous because divorce rates are so damn high.

 

[onthepath]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
A womans past is 99.9999% of who she is. You can't just forget about a womans past.

Every man wants a woman who has proven that she can uphold an oath. A woman who remains a virgin or even one who tries to keep her numbers low is a woman who has proven that her emotionals don't rule her life. When a temptation comes her way she will be less likely to cheat.

That is very important. You would have to be a complete idiot not to judge a woman that you plan to give a ring to on her past. When you make a judgment call that will change your life you have to consider EVERYTHING!

bingo
women are far more emotional creatures than men. as men, we can rationalise and think of the consequences of our actions far better than a woman can. albeit, some "men" still act wholy on their animal instincts, and just try to sleep with any woman they see, but the more refined men, the DJs can see the correct decision and then make it.

so before marrying a woman, you have to look at her past, and see what type of upbringing she's had, what type of life she's lived. for instance, the girls who were brought up as little princess's, in my experience, have always turned out to be attention wh0res. they are always in men's company, and always flirt with them, regardless of whatever relationship they're in. other girls who were brought up in quiet / secluded environments turn out more nerdy, and less social.

however you (and they )were brought up, whatever persionality traits have been instilled, they will resonate in you for life

 

[Satori]

Most people get married because they take it as given that they're "supposed to." Most also believe that they've found "the one." Removed from this romantic context, however, marriage is essentially a commitment to lifelong exclusivity and responsibility. Why commit to this, and limit yourself so severely?

Because the other person is promising to commit in the same way to you! People are generally insecure. They want stability and comfort. They fear challenge and change. The idea of being alone frightens them, because they feel "incomplete" without someone else. Also, most people want children. Marriage provides a stable situation in which both parties must take responsibility for the child.

Of course, divorce rates are very high. This is because most people ignore the commitment aspect and focus on the (false) romantic aspect. They get married because they believe they've found "the one" but subsequently become bored or unsatisfied. The thrill of the chase and conquest is gone, the mystery is gone. If a more attractive person becomes available, the marriage suddenly becomes a liability. Words mean little, even words that promise lifelong commitment.

As someone else pointed out already, it is still the same relationship. Hypothetically you could commit yourself to the relationship without being officially married and it would be basically the same thing. It just wouldn't be officially recognized, it would be easier to get out of.

The way I see it, if she really is "the one" and you are perfect for each other, the relationship should flourish indefinitely without the necessity of a verbal commitment. Marriage is a safeguard to make sure the relationship continues even after attraction fades. But perhaps it would be better to move on at that point? A lot of people seem to think so, considering the divorce rate. Had they not gotten married, though, moving on would be much less of a headache.


To PRL:

Just because someone enters a marriage as a virgin doesn't mean they will remain committed. It does suggest that they have higher standards than most, that they have self discipline, and they probably have strong religious beliefs. But they are still just people; perhaps more reliable, but not really better than anyone else.

Just because a person has had sex before marriage doesn't mean they won't take the commitment seriously if they do choose to commit. There's definitely a middle ground between virgin and "hor." Someone who has sex discriminately (someone with high standards - think LTR rather than ONS) will get a much more complete picture of what an intimate relationship with the other person is like and will then be able to make a more educated choice about whether they want to spend the rest of their life with that person.

 

[MetalFortress]

Unless you are saving sex for marriage and never plan to get divorced, ever, I believe getting married is pointless.

That said, I do plan to get married somewhere along the line.

 

[flyinshark]

Am i wrong in saying that in 95% of the cases it is the woman that wants to get married more than the man ?

If so, then it seems to me that men often get married just to make a compromise and please their woman. If it was up to the guy, he might never even talk about marriage, let alone do it.

 

[dietzcoi]

Flyinshark is correct.

More women than men want to get married, and they want it so bad they will do it with somebody who is not Mr Right.

Also women want children more than men.

So you better make sure there is something in it for YOU as a man, otherwise you are just ruining your future for a little p*ssy.

Dumb, isn't it?

Dietzcoi

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

The reason marriage is invaluable to a man today is because a woman has already SPENT her great assets elsewhere. On the other hand, the assets a man brings to the table are still in tact, and in fact, appreciate as time goes on...most notably..


-age
-maturity
-wealth
-wisdom
-physical factors
-connections and power
-knowledge
-caring
-direction
-determination
-leadership
-strength
-guidance

A man's values are based on what we are. A woman's values are based on what she is, yet many women SPEND them during college.


-virginity
-purity
-feminity
-caring
-tenderness
-love
-empathy
-sacrifice
-support
-dedication
-strength (in her own way)


When parents say date...date...but don't 'fcuk'. Yet kids take it to mean that. I think once people sit back, away from the programming of mass media and televisions, and look inside at what they value and appreciate about the opposite sex, they'll sex they don't want a hor with a past like a resume of porn. They don't want a girl who can drink like a man. Sure, it's cute how they portray it in movies, but most times you get the bar bill and the hair holding end of it, and not the cute, freak in bed.


Ever notice how the roles of what SHOULD be are portrayed and reinforced in tv/media? How social norms are built by tv and outside independent groups TELLING you what things should be? Ever noticed how the best things teens can come up with as an alternate activity is drinking and partying? We're breeding generations of alcoholics with no responsibility.


A-Unit

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

As a follow up...


I think it's sad men are expected to work hard, get ahead, have a lofty position in the world and numerous connections, be able to handle a family and the responsibilities, yet the FEW things a man desires in a woman are haplessly spent IN COLLEGE amongst many men.


So while we're increasing our value, there's is inherently depreciation, QUICKLY.


It's such hyprocrisy that to say some conspiracy DOES NOT exist is to be blinded to the truth. Women never complained, they loved life as it was. But then feminists hoped up, and found power, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so they spewed more facts about how life should be more free and independent. And now we make Birth Control Pills and the like so women can hop from bed to bed with punishment. And they can go through a "PHASE", that will end with marriage.


When did the road to marriage come laden with ****s galore, receipts from clubs, and empty mascara containers?


A-Unit

 

[bullmoose]

Get married when you find a girl whom you're better off with than without. Whether it's money, brains, social contacts, whatever you don't have that she has, and vice versa, jump on that $#!+.

Assuming, of course, that what she brings to the table is nothing that you can't learn / obtain on your own, and nothing that will fade over time. DO NOT MARRY FOR PVSSY NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT IS. Doesn't matter if it bleeds rivers of gold. Sex will tire, looks will fade, t-ts will sag once the first kid swings off 'em for a year.

What does she have, that lasts, that will make your life better than without it?

Me, I'd marry a girl who's as smart as I am, but about different things. I'm an engineer; I'd marry a brainy NON-engineer chick who was, say, financially savvy, or philosophically learned. But I'm only 27; I've got a long way to go before I'm ready.

Eventually, I will meet a girl who is worth giving up all notions of future pvssy for. Till then it's the Happy Hunting Grounds around here. . . .

 

[00Kevin]

If you plan to give a ring to a girl make sure it is based on logical reasons and not emtional ones. It is true that love must exist but that isn't enough reason to get married to her.

 

[Luveno]

Men marry for many reasons:


1. They think they are in love. They haven't been exposed to the truth of attraction and control that we have been exposed to. These men basically dig their own graves.

2.The girl is ridiculously hot, and they feel that if they marry her , they can't lose her. This is called "thinking with your dyck", for obvious reasons.

3.She's richer than the guy. This is by far the best reason to marry, but the north american legal system will work against you. You won't be walking away with half of her assets.

Those are what I can think of now. I honestly do not see any advantage for a guy to marry.

Marriage appears as a government-regulated moral policing of couples' choices. Its basically a contract outlining:

1. All assets in the marriage are shared 50/50.
2.The only place you will get sex is from each other.

Failing to do either will result in serious legal concequences.

Again, I see no justification in legal punishment based on immoral actions. Its a stab in the back for freedom.

 

[djbr]

Hey, I was at www.nomarriage.com and he always says that Brazil is a source of great women.

*BE CAREFUL!*

We have our supply of hors too!

In the small to medium cities there's A LOT of really great women. But in the large ones, WATCH OUT!!

 

[djbr]

Re: Re:

Originally posted by A-Unit
As a follow up...


I think it's sad men are expected to work hard, get ahead, have a lofty position in the world and numerous connections, be able to handle a family and the responsibilities, yet the FEW things a man desires in a woman are haplessly spent IN COLLEGE amongst many men.


So while we're increasing our value, there's is inherently depreciation, QUICKLY.


It's such hyprocrisy that to say some conspiracy DOES NOT exist is to be blinded to the truth. Women never complained, they loved life as it was. But then feminists hoped up, and found power, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so they spewed more facts about how life should be more free and independent. And now we make Birth Control Pills and the like so women can hop from bed to bed with punishment. And they can go through a "PHASE", that will end with marriage.


When did the road to marriage come laden with ****s galore, receipts from clubs, and empty mascara containers?


A-Unit

*FVCKIN' BRILLIANT*

That's IT! Dude, WHAT IS IN THERE FOR US? The things that we praise in a woman are all worn out when it comes time for marriage! So what is left TO US?

But beware, there's great women out there. All we have to do is find them...

...and that's why we are here.

 

[coder]

Marriage is there to provide a stable environment for your kids. Kids need a mother to stay at home and raise them and a father to bring home a paycheck to support them. If the mother is sleeping around, the father will be raising someone else's kid. That's why it's exclusive. The problem is most of you do not even understand what marriage is.

 

[PRMoon]

Because devils advocacy is what I do.

Hmmm I see alot of people hating on marriage here... so ofcourse I have to take it upon myself to show you the other side of why marriage would and is benifical for men. Some of the breif reasons some of you cited for marriage are way off.

1. Health
Married people across cultures tend to live longer then unmarried people...that's not to say how happy they are but the fact remains.

Married people have a lower rate of alcoholism. Single men are 3 times more likely to die of cirrhosis of the liver then married men...I can't see how this would be true but by the numbers it is nonetheless.

Married people have a lower suicide rate then unmarried people. Living in a family unit creates an integrating effect on its members which acts as a suicde deterent...I guess if you have kids and what not you want to live for them.

Married people have less illness, accidents, murder and are less likely to die from heart disease, cancer, stroke, accidents and murder... Again not my opinion but the numbers don't lie.

No part of the unmarried sector, nevermarried, separated, divorced, or widowed reported being as gratified by life as the married sector.

Married people have a loneliness rate of 4.6% as compared to nevermarried at 14.5% divorced 20.4% widowed 20.6% and separated at 29.6% This particular survey randomly sampled 20 states to come up with these numbers.
2.Emotional
Married people have a lower rate of depression... I guess this goes hand in hand with the suicde thing.

Married people tend to be more motivated at work... god knows I wouldn't.

Married people have more sex and enjoy it more physically and emitonally then their counterparts... I wonder if the wives held guns to their husbands heads after being asked this question?

3. Economic
Married people have higher incomes then single people...well duh, two people working vs one person.

Married people tend to be more finacially responsible out of obligations to one another. Meaning if the husband can repair cars and the wife can sew, they can save money on car repairs and clothing... but honey I thought I could win that poker game!!

Hmmm the list of economic benifits of marriage is actually to long for me to post on this board. If you want to know more about it go to any government site pretaining to the economy or social services and see for yourself

Someone said if your wife was rich and you two got divorced that you wouldn't be reciving half of her assets?! Thats 100% false, depending on the circumstances. Infadelity for a woman is exactly the same as it would be for a man. Unless you foolishly signed some prenuptual or postnuptual agreement you're entitled to half of her estate as she would be yours if the situation was reversed. If you had kids you could still file for child support as well.

Some of you are probably saying that Divorced and separated are byproducts of failed marriages and reasons as why you shouldn't get involved. But from what I've read (inspired by your colorful thoughts on why marriage is a bad Idea) working to make a marriage work could be one of the best decisions of your lives if you're not to lazy to put in the effort to make it work. Sometimes it might even mean thinking outside the box, which I know is hard for just about anybody, myself included. But before you all jump to conclusions about marriage, you should really open your mind to it and be honest with yourself when weighing the options.

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by coder
Marriage is there to provide a stable environment for your kids. Kids need a mother to stay at home and raise them and a father to bring home a paycheck to support them. If the mother is sleeping around, the father will be raising someone else's kid. That's why it's exclusive. The problem is most of you do not even understand what marriage is.

That's exactly the point of A-Unit's post. Man and woman brings different things to the family, to raise the children well. He says that although what we men have to offer last a lot longer, what women have to offer is usually carelessly spent in their youth. So what's the benefit for US? We offer what we have, they offer nothing! They left it ALL behind!

If you want a woman just for pure and wild sex, so why in the hell should you be concerned with anything? The only thing you OUGHT TO be concerned is some CONDOMS!

 

[djbr]

Re: Because devils advocacy is what I do.

Originally posted by PRMoon
Hmmm I see alot of people hating on marriage here... so ofcourse I have to take it upon myself to show you the other side of why marriage would and is benifical for men. Some of the breif reasons some of you cited for marriage are way off.

1. Health
Married people across cultures tend to live longer then unmarried people...that's not to say how happy they are but the fact remains.

Married people have a lower rate of alcoholism. Single men are 3 times more likely to die of cirrhosis of the liver then married men...I can't see how this would be true but by the numbers it is nonetheless.

Married people have a lower suicide rate then unmarried people. Living in a family unit creates an integrating effect on its members which acts as a suicde deterent...I guess if you have kids and what not you want to live for them.

Married people have less illness, accidents, murder and are less likely to die from heart disease, cancer, stroke, accidents and murder... Again not my opinion but the numbers don't lie.

No part of the unmarried sector, nevermarried, separated, divorced, or widowed reported being as gratified by life as the married sector.

Married people have a loneliness rate of 4.6% as compared to nevermarried at 14.5% divorced 20.4% widowed 20.6% and separated at 29.6% This particular survey randomly sampled 20 states to come up with these numbers.
2.Emotional
Married people have a lower rate of depression... I guess this goes hand in hand with the suicde thing.

Married people tend to be more motivated at work... god knows I wouldn't.

Married people have more sex and enjoy it more physically and emitonally then their counterparts... I wonder if the wives held guns to their husbands heads after being asked this question?

3. Economic
Married people have higher incomes then single people...well duh, two people working vs one person.

Married people tend to be more finacially responsible out of obligations to one another. Meaning if the husband can repair cars and the wife can sew, they can save money on car repairs and clothing... but honey I thought I could win that poker game!!

Hmmm the list of economic benifits of marriage is actually to long for me to post on this board. If you want to know more about it go to any government site pretaining to the economy or social services and see for yourself

Someone said if your wife was rich and you two got divorced that you wouldn't be reciving half of her assets?! Thats 100% false, depending on the circumstances. Infadelity for a woman is exactly the same as it would be for a man. Unless you foolishly signed some prenuptual or postnuptual agreement you're entitled to half of her estate as she would be yours if the situation was reversed. If you had kids you could still file for child support as well.

Some of you are probably saying that Divorced and separated are byproducts of failed marriages and reasons as why you shouldn't get involved. But from what I've read (inspired by your colorful thoughts on why marriage is a bad Idea) working to make a marriage work could be one of the best decisions of your lives if you're not to lazy to put in the effort to make it work. Sometimes it might even mean thinking outside the box, which I know is hard for just about anybody, myself included. But before you all jump to conclusions about marriage, you should really open your mind to it and be honest with yourself when weighing the options.

Don't forget: no amount of work is going to make up for choosing the wrong woman in the first place. In fact, I see people left and right (especially men) putting A LOT OF EFFORT in a relationship while the girl is just there, complaining endlessly because the man is just not good enough.

To end all this? Make a wise choice . Some women are NOT worth the "work".

(To all the girls: it is THE same for men, OK? you can reverse this if you want).

 

[PRMoon]

I do.

Originally posted by djbr

(To all the girls: it is THE same for men, OK? you can reverse this if you want).

Actually I during my readings something that came up again and again is that for women being unmarried is actually more dangrious then being poor. Their murder, sucide, accident, bad health rates are very dispropitionaly against being unmarried. For the ladies out there, getting married would be a VERY good idea. Just remember to be smart about your mate.