Why do guys say don't be nice..

[cola]

I'm extremely nice to my plates.
I spend good money to show them a good time.
Drinks, nice dinners..

One plate i hated her hair, so i got with a stylist and got her a makeover..
I call and check on them not just for sex just to see how they are.. Etc etc

I try to go on really nice dates.. Front row seats at baseball games
Concerts etc etc

Rarely have a problem. No disrespect. They generally come whenever I call and f*ck and s*ck me .. Took a plate out for drinks she gave me head in the bar bathroom..

They buy me surprises .. Pajamas, bed sheets, food, clothes ..

Should we stop telling guys to not be nice?
Because from my experience when you get good quality women they only reciprocate your generosity..

Also I'm not nice to make them like me.. Its honestly who I am. I'm just not a mean person.
I treat my guy friends to stuff as well..

Try my way.. Be genuinely nice to women without being needy and see what happens..

 

[Bible_Belt]

Here's a recent thread on the topic:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/whats-wrong-with-mr-nice-guy.243717/

And I'm similar, honestly, with similar results. I think what is important is your inner mental state. Niceness can often come from a man's low self-esteem and low sense of self-worth. With regard to women we cal it pedestalizing.

Most men are stuck in nice guy mode, even when they get treated poorly. That's when it gets pathetic. Niceness is fine if the other person is deserving of it. If not, then it is an attempt at bribery, which is a completely different thing.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Yes depends where it's coming from..

Being a nice value giving guy from a place of being grounded/abundant with many oppurtunitys going for you is the real pimp swag.

Nice coming from fear/weakness is manipulative and disgusting which people WILL hate you for.

Recently just befriended my baby's mama after a years of being a button hurt fvcking *******s to her, and now we went out the other night and my results skyrocketed.

Game will teach you ruthlessly that any time your butt hurt over any individual you will suffer so better to befriend everybody and if someone screws you over it really is there loss. Feel bad for them instead of anger.

Think.. "hey, I'm so cool and have so much going on I would've taken you to my friends beach house party to pimp all night but rather you extracted what little you can get out of me and ran, well good luck I guess."

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I think it’s all in the mindset too, but something kinda shook my off a little. I recall a long time ago, Desdinova said how he has to be meaner than he genuinely is towards women or else they will think of him as the cliche nice guy and won’t be attracted. Not sure if things have changed since then, would have to ask. Thoughts @Desdinova ?

 

[TheGambino]

Word, I am a player, a DJ, I flirt and close every girl thats attracting too me and giving me IoI's but I became waaay more picky the last year. I could easily not give in to a IOi of a girl if her but is too small or whatever.

But when Im fvcking a girl on the regular or dating, I'll always have my eyes on other girls in the environment but focus on my girl. I'll be warm, charming, bold and a great listener, conversationalist. I am nice, I just called a plate I fvck for a couple of weeks after reading this bro's thread. Girls don't want a pr1ck.

 

[marmel75]

Their "niceness" often manifests itself as a way to manipulate women into having sex with them and isnt them genuinely being nice.

There is nothing wrong with being nice with no expectations in return and not being a doormat for a woman. Be nice because you want to be, not because you want to get laid.

 

[bario]

Because from my experience when you get good quality women they only reciprocate your generosity.

Totally agree!

 

[guru1000]

Yes depends where it's coming from..

This. The intent from where you are operating is the distinction. Being nice out of authenticity is great and will do wonders upon women. Being nice out of pandering or obsequiousness won't serve you well.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Being an azzhole to works wonders..

A distinction I've picked up from the naturals I've met, is that they have the ability to be the most vile prck ever known to the universe.

Or the coolest loving dude you've met.

Quote from andy, most natural baller I've met.

Rolls up in his car at the mall, says what up to me. Dime piece sitting next to him,

Chev: sup bro, hey girl I'm chev.. nice to meet you.

Andy; just some ***** I'm gonna fck later

Girl: omg your so funny stop it.. **lightly hits arm, Google eyed..

Chev: wahahahah

 

[Urbanyst]

When people say "don't be nice" what they really mean is don't be FAKE.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This. The intent from where you are operating is the distinction. Being nice out of authenticity is great and will do wonders upon women. Being nice out of pandering or obsequiousness won't serve you well.

All depends on the other person. If your nice cause you think she looks good and she's a ****ty selfish person then you just played yourself. We have to guage the people we deal with based on their investment.

 

[guru1000]

All depends on the other person. If your nice cause you think she looks good and she's a ****ty selfish person then you just played yourself. We have to guage the people we deal with based on their investment.

Like Cola, I try to be a gentlemen to all people (though I can be a dlck at times), regardless of who they are. If I find they don't reciprocate or have attributes that are not admirable, I remove my time and attention altogether.

 

[Urbanyst]

Being an azzhole to works wonders..

A distinction I've picked up from the naturals I've met, is that they have the ability to be the most vile prck ever known to the universe.

Or the coolest loving dude you've met.

Quote from andy, most natural baller I've met.

Rolls up in his car at the mall, says what up to me. Dime piece sitting next to him,

Chev: sup bro, hey girl I'm chev.. nice to meet you.

Andy; just some ***** I'm gonna fck later

Girl: omg your so funny stop it.. **lightly hits arm, Google eyed..

Chev: wahahahah

Just like saying "I love you" too often will make the words lose their meaning.. the same is true with being too nice or too much of a prick.

When someone is always nice.. their niceness starts to lose meaning. Same with someone who is always mean. Occasional niceness and meanness carries more weight. I'm neutral most of the time with occasional spurts of douchebaggery or kindness. Women want to win you over. They don't want you to come fully cooked on a plate. A the same time.. women want to be put in their place. They don't want someone they can walk on.

I think most men are naturals once they lose the brainwashing. No one is really "nice" or "mean" all the time. We are all moody and complex.

Why I've said guys should allow themselves to be moody instead of trying to be a robot around women like some people here teach lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Like Cola, I try to be a gentlemen to all people (though I can be a dlck at times), regardless of who they are. If I find they don't reciprocate or have attributes that are not admirable, I remove my time and attention altogether.

Me too. Not too fun to be around someone who won't share.

 

[Von]

Well you don't wanna be ''nice'' you wanna be ''good''

The ''good'' guy

The good guy does stuff because he ain't expecting anything in return... or he does it because he rewards the girl for what he has.

The ''nice'' guy will try to be the ''girl best girlfriend'' in order to have sech or date her.... he will totally turn off by acting ''beta - nice - or fake male''

He might be nice and want her best... but he's doing it at the expanse of his ''manhood'' and her ''emotions'' ... he bent himself for her. He bent to her like a ''dog'' while she has nothing in return to give him (she has no emotional involvement) ... The nice guy is the dog running after the bone held by the girl.... a girl who is actually in need of a emotional stimulus because she's (down on herself, need a validation etc...)...

The nice guy will give her what she want... while the good guy will give what she needs.

A nice guy will bent his frame... A good guy will keep his frame solid and be respectfull and even nice but always within a solid frame ''HIS'' frame.

A nice guy will hope to have something, a reward for his behaviour.... A good guy will go for his reward, he will act and the reward if it comes will just be an effect of his actions

A nice guy see the reward has a goal, the good guy sees the reward as an effect

You might call yourself nice Cola, but you are actually framing as the GOOD guy (at least from what you write: You already have her, you reward her, you support her in making herself looking good for you)

Did you ever ask her opinion and hope for a reaction ? Or you asked based on your opinion and got a reaction from her?

You a Good guy from your Thread... and you right... rewards them, reward the girl who give you something, you invest in you, sometimes to do just for the pleasure of it... mean you words... Like Urbanyst said: if you say too much ''I love you'' especially if there is no context you kill the sense of the word..... like saying '' I love you'' as a reward for her behaviour

Action will always speak louder than words... and use your words meaninfully

 

[XFORCE]

Should we stop telling guys to not be nice?
Because from my experience when you get good quality women they only reciprocate your generosity..

Also I'm not nice to make them like me.. Its honestly who I am. I'm just not a mean person.
I treat my guy friends to stuff as well..

Try my way.. Be genuinely nice to women without being needy and see what happens..

I like this mentality as well. I'd like to believe that the good will and generosity will be reciprocated in the long term but the women I date always lose that focus. Perhaps it's the kind of women I date...

 

[resilient]

AKA White Knight, most likely a Social Justice Warrior as well.

I like this mentality as well. I'd like to believe that the good will and generosity will be reciprocated in the long term but the women I date always lose that focus. Perhaps it's the kind of women I date...

Yeah man... you're going to want to shed that blue pill thinking stat. It will only get you hurt in the long-run. You don't need to go full red pill, yet it's important all-the-same to think about how you carry yourself as a Don Juan.

Establish self-respect, establish your frame. Doesn't happen overnight, yet it's a process that will and must happen.

 

[sosousage]

nice guys are boring.

you can be nice to your plates yes. important thing here is not to invest more in them than they in you

 

[The Duke]

True pimp niggaz spend no dough on the booty. hahaha.

Seriously, do what works for you.

I did buy a pu$$y pump and a $600 sechs swing for a chic once. Or maybe that was for myself.

 

[ubercat]

Good thread. Plate spinning automatically deals with bad behaviour from a girl. That s easy as you re not invested at that stage. And look at it positively, your spending more time with fun chicks rather than less with drama queens.

In an ltr it's a bit more tricky. A woman s thinking goes in circles. You have to get good at listening without judgement even when she's throwing crap at you and figuring out what the real cause is

I had a classic example with the girlfriend the other night. I'm going through this nightmare applying for a job at the moment. They want to give but bloody HRs making me jump through psych tests. G/f was cracking out coz I wanted to stay home and study. Which is unusual for her, being an Asian girl she normally supports hard work. So after much back and forth the real issue came out Its moon festival which means family union. Now without a bit of investigation I could have gone NC